My Demonic Ghost #3: Hunters and Creators

by Maree, Jacinta

  Chapter Forty:

  The hours and days spent in there were relentless, but Evan’s company kept me from going insane I had been given some board games and puzzles to help ease the endless boredom, but Evan was my favourite choice. We talked about anything and everything. I had been here almost four weeks now, making my imprisonment a total of two months. It felt way longer. When I wasn’t busy with my parents or the sessions, I lounged with Evan and pondered life.

  “What is it like to die?” I asked him after finishing my dinner.

  He had snorted in reply, “You asked me the same question when we first met.”

  “And?”

  Evan shrugged, “It’s hard to remember now. There are a lot of colours, noises like people are just shouting at you. It’s really jumbled and messed up, but sometimes you feel a connection with a certain important memory. With Banished, it’s almost like an eraser goes through your brain. They take away the good memories, leaving behind the terrible ones. We try to forget as fast as we can. After that you just turn feral, I guess.”

  “Do you remember much about your human life?”

  “Not on purpose. Just fear sometimes and anger on others. Mostly abandonment, I was so bitter about what they had done to me.”

  “They? Do you mean your parents?” I sat up and gently coaxed. “What happened exactly?”

  Evan drew in his breath, but shook his head. “The funny thing is I don’t remember details, I just remember the emotions. What about you and James? Do you miss him?” He added with a hint of malice.

  I cleared my throat, “Oh, that’s over now. It feels impossible to return to that life. Is there anything that you do miss about being alive?”

  “I miss the taste of hamburgers.” Evan joked and I found myself chuckling.

  “I wanted to ask you too, there was a wall full of pictures of previous hosts back at the camp… My father’s face was there.”

  Evan nodded promptly, “He was my host, remember?”

  “Yeah I know, so why wasn’t my face on the wall as well? I was your host too, right?”

  Evan sighed heavily, “I couldn’t put your face up there.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just… couldn’t okay?” He snapped, “I don’t want to talk about it… did you remember any of the people from the wall?”

  I twisted around so I was leaning on my stomach, my head cupped in my palms, “Some. There was a boy I recognised. I vaguely remember he had a young Banished girl attached to him. I think it was his sister. ”

  Evan snorted again and spoke with a dismissive wave, “That was Dean. You didn’t like him very much, you thought he smelled bad. Plus, he had horrible teeth… and he was short. A real loser.” I cocked my head curiously, that was not exactly how I remembered him, but I didn’t bother to argue. Evan picked himself up so he floated before flipping over so he dangled upside down. He hovered with his legs crossed and his arms over his chest, his wavy hair falling down across his face in gentle wisps. “What are you going to do once this is all over?”

  I shrugged without turning my head, “I dunno. Would there even be a life for to me return to after all this mess?” I glanced up briefly, “What about you?”

  Evan shrugged as well, “Dunno. Probably haunt my old high school or something.”

  “You’d be good at it.” I laughed, “I mean, what about before you passed away? What did you see yourself doing?” Evan floated with careless ease, his eyes turned away in thought as he twisted his lips.

  “I always wanted to be an architect.” He admitted proudly, “I was always good at drawing. You should have seen my designs; I focused mainly on skyscrapers and commercial offices.”

  “Wish I could have seen them.”

  “Yeah… my dream was to go to Forrester University, they say they’ve got the best architect course in the whole country, maybe even the world.”

  “I heard you needed an above 95% point average.”

  “Did I forget to mention how brilliant I am?” He beamed before flipping over and returning gently back to the ground. We stared at each other for a brief moment, the silence strangely calming us.

  “I’m remembering bit by bit every night you know. I think my memories are coming back to me in my dreams,” I whispered. He merely nodded, trying to fight back a smirk.

  “Yeah, you talk in your sleep.”

  I fought not to blush, “I’m still missing a lot of pieces, but I’m starting to remember people’s faces, and certain smells and noises.”

  “Do you remember the Sins?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “Faintly. Were we really that stupid?” I laughed as Evan’s dimpled smile touched his cheeks.

  “Unfortunately, yes. I thought I could take on the demons of temptation…”

  “…And I was dumb enough to follow you.” I added playfully.

  “Back then we didn’t have a choice. Where I went, you went.”

  “Yuck, we were one of those couples!” I joked just as Evan’s face twisted in awkward shyness.

  He cleared his throat, “Yeah… well anyway, back then things were much different.”

  “Of course, now with the war and everything that’s happening, that world still feels like it should remain a memory.”

  “The sooner the war is over the better.” He sighed with exhaustion, “All we want is freedom and Miira is acting like there’s some twisted attempt to take heaven and earth for ourselves. But it’s not like that. You understand that, right? That’s not what we’re fighting for; we just don’t want to be scared anymore.”

  I nodded gently, “I understand what it’s like to be scared all the time.” There was a knock on my door and Evan immediately evaporated, allowing me some alone time with my parents. Not to mention every time dad walked into the room he looked like he wanted to fight anyone who gave him a wrong look. Except this time only mum rushed in, her face washed in tears and distress.

  “Mum?” I quickly stood up. “What’s wrong?”

  Mum shook her head, barely able to hold back her tears, “It’s your father, he’s not doing so well. I don’t know what it is… something is happening to him. Last night he collapsed, we had to rush him off to the emergency room.”

  I gulped, knowing it was because of the faded magic. “The doctors don’t know what’s causing it, but it’s like his body has dramatically aged 20 years. They don’t think he’s going to make it.”

  I clasped my hand to my chest, “I have to go see him…”

  Mum nodded, but then stopped and changed her answer, “I don’t think you can come…”

  “What? Why not?”

  Doctor Hearth stepped out from behind her, already wearing a face that said ‘no’. Before I even had the chance to beg he held up his hands.

  “It’s just too dangerous for you to be out there. You’re not in control; you can easily snap and hurt people. Especially when going through such an emotionally taxing thing such as this.”

  I stepped forward and immediately and could hear the cameras twitch in the corners, just waiting for the moment to drown me in gas. I took another step back and took a deep breath. Don’t lose control. Don’t lose control.

  “I can heal him. Chō has the ability to heal if I wish it.”

  “You have no control of that thing in your body.”

  “I’ve done it before!” I barked and he flinched, expecting my voice to carry a punch with it.

  “This is ridiculous! My daughter is allowed to see her father, it’s her right! I’m getting my lawyer on the phone; you guys are going to be in serious trouble!” Mum lunged at them, pointing her finger at the Doctor’s face as one wields a knife. “Rachael, I’ll be right back.” She left, followed shortly by the Doctor.

  Chapter Forty-One:

  I didn’t hear from her or anyone else for the next few hours. I couldn’t stop from pacing. Evan lingered near the back of the room, just as anxious as I was. Out of nowhere, a pain hit my heart, drawing forth a memory. My body suddenly
stopped. Something foul lingered on my tongue, a taste of remorse and absolute devastation. It was of something I couldn’t bear to swallow, but I had to. The memory was about dad. He was on the couch. I had gone to visit him on my own when he lived in Whitehaven. I was only fifteen years old. I had just brewed him a cup of tea. He had been jumpy and scared the whole afternoon, often whispering to the shadows. He was so broken, a frail old man that had the life sucked out of him. I didn’t want to leave him alone for fear he was going to snap in half. I went to bed and I remember waking to him coughing. My bedroom door was left open allowing his coughs to carry down the hall to my ears. When I reached him, he was dead. His warm body was limp in the chair; his sad smile was my last memory of him. Then Evan fell from the roof. The disintegrating boy kissed me to ensnare me in chains and seal my death. He had laughed back then, as if it was some sort of game.

  I reared my head back; I couldn’t stand to remember anymore. Dad was dead. He had died. He was going to die all over again. It was like I was in the hospital room with them, feeling him slip between our fingers, as powerless as I was when I was just fifteen. Before I could stop myself I crashed to my knees.

  “No! NO! Let me out! I can save him! I can save him, please!” I felt my heartache wrench to the point I wanted to puke. I had never felt pain like this before. The air vents kicked into action, oozing out gas, but I was so angry I didn’t want them to control me. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to mourn my father.

  I lashed out, managing to tear through the vents and peel the walls back and creating an opening into the hallway. The world spun faster and faster, I tipped backwards. I was losing control. No, I had lost control; I started my descent into darkness. I wanted to fall, but Evan stopped me. He continuously pulled me back. Using the chains he had around my throat, he absorbed the power and stopped me from spiralling downwards. I lashed out at him too, my anger unrestrained.

  “You killed him?” I screamed at Evan. “Is that what you did? You killed my father?”

  Evan scrambled out of my reach. “Wait, Rachael!”

  Just as I was about to lose control a new memory appeared, the sudden thought popped into my mind. No…wait a minute that’s not exactly true... It was me… He gave me poison to put in his drink, telling me it was medicine. I had poisoned him... It was me. The realization had me stumbling backwards. When it felt like I couldn’t get any madder everything stopped. Time stopped. I stopped. My thoughts stopped and everything became suspended in timeless, weightless space. I blanked out, unable to accept the possibility that I poisoned my own father, or that he tricked me into doing it. A gentle touch raised my chin. A voice spoke to me through the suspended bubble and I struggled to find the strength to listen.

  “Don’t…” He kept telling me, “Don’t… you didn’t kill him.”

  “Yes… yes, I did.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  The numbness faded and I started to feel everything. I felt arms around my shoulders, a nose pressed against my neck, and the tickle of hair against my cheek. My chest was pressed against another’s as though they were cleaving me to them, pinning my arms to my side in a firm hug. Then, just as fast, Evan’s body fell through mine as my anger subsided. He stepped back, tears clouding his gaze.

  “Let me save you…” He whispered, “Please, let me save you this time.”

  I slipped away from him and went back to my bed where I brought the sheets up over myself. I cocooned myself in a tight shell, not wanting to be seen by the cameras. Evan was by my bedside where he carefully placed himself so he lay next to me. He let me mourn until I felt I could cry no more tears. It must’ve been hours later when I peeled the sheet back to see he was still there. Every time I glanced up he seemed so brittle. He was tearing up too, but shook his head to try to clear his eyes.

  “I’m sorry…” He whispered again for what felt like the thousandth time. I was too angry to speak. I turned away.

  Chapter Forty-Two:

  As I slept, memories and feelings came back to me, leaving me numb against the tide. I remembered Evan explaining how the Banished are made. I remembered the Sins, and when Envy bit into Evan’s shoulder and poisoned him. I remembered Dean with Sabotage and our bus ride into the outskirts of town. Dean was not short or ugly as Evan had described. I remembered Rip and Michael, and how Gargoyle pushed him in front of a tram. I even remembered Betrayal and her undying devotion to the Banished, like she was their leader. Why would she then be helping the Hunters? I shook my head, that wasn’t a priority right now.

  Evan remained by my side for the next few days, even when mum returned crying into her sleeve, he still remained. They wouldn’t let me out. I am a long term prisoner with no release date. Even convicted murderers knew the terms of their punishment; but not me. As a few more weeks rolled past I started to feel less and less like myself. My memories were almost complete; and with them, my health declined at an unnatural pace. Evan never left my side. Not once.

  The misery on his face was unbearable; I almost felt the need to go and comfort him. He wasn’t sad for my father. It wasn’t his death Evan was worried about, it was my own. I remembered that Gargoyle had banished us to the pits of Wrath and that I had died. I remember that now, like it was some terrible dream. The earth drank from my body till I was a Banished as well. Once the magic was gone I would be Banished too. At this point, wrapped in my own arms, out of reach from those that loved me that I felt at my lowest point. I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t even want to think anymore. I wasn’t mad at Evan anymore; it was so exhausting to carry such weight when there was nothing I could do about it. Plus, Evan didn’t deserve the cold silence I gave him. He had tried to make things better and I had forgotten about his repentance. In the end I forgave him, but I couldn’t find the strength to forgive myself.

  “This isn’t how I wanted to live my life…” I whispered suddenly in the dead of night. Evan looked at me, but didn’t say anything. “I wanted to be a renowned journalist. I wanted to have a job where I could explore the world and never know where my next adventure would take me in the morning. I wanted that type of excitement in my life…”

  He shifted over and sat on the end of my bed with his legs crossed. I continued, “I also wanted to have two children and live in a house near the beach. I wanted to have green in my wedding theme colour, I wanted to name my daughter Stephanie and teach her all about music and dance. She would want to be a ballerina when she was little, but fall in love with her first puppy and grow to become a vet. My son, Damian, would be a rugby player, he’ll grow into an admirable guy and would stand up for the little man,” I rolled my head away, “On my trips overseas I would bring back these amazing stories to my children and family, I would have photo albums full of incredible sights and people and think; ‘Wow, I had a wonderful life. I am so lucky…’”

  I took a deep breath. Evan was quiet; he was so quiet I could hear my own voice tremble. “You know, it’s my birthday today too.” I whispered. Evan’s eyebrows perked up in mild surprise.

  “I didn’t know that…” He faintly said.

  I nodded, “I had such plans for myself that I never imagined I wouldn’t live past twenty two.”

  “Rachael…” His eyes softened and I immediately shook my head.

  “I’m sorry, here I am complaining about my sucky circumstances when you…” I gulped and swallowed my words. I complained about not living past twenty two when Evan had died when he was fourteen.

  Evan quickly shushed me. “You’re going to be okay, Rachael. You can still have that life. You don’t have to die.” Despite everything, I actually believed him; even if for just a moment I believed and relaxed against the mattress.

  Evan shifted over, his tone suddenly lighter, “Remember what you said to me earlier, when we were sitting underneath the tree at Whitehaven?” I could vaguely remember the conversation, but I was confused as to why he would bring it up now. “I know I’m not your ideal partner right
now, but will you dance with me?” His question surprised me as I sat up. He stood up in front, offering his hand. My knees felt weak and I slipped off my bed and stepped closer.

  “You want to dance with me?” I chuckled. Evan raised his eyebrow, egging me forward. “Okay.” I answered with a smile. I very slowly lifted my hands up to his neck. It was like dancing with smoke, I felt his presence by the cool air, but I couldn’t hold onto anything.

  He brought his face to my ear so his breath was a scarce whisper, “I want you to look at me and you’re not allowed to look away…”

  I did as I was told. I raised my head and held fierce eye contact. His eyebrows pinched in concentration and the colours around me started to fade. My body relaxed and the once quiet beat of my heart now pounded in my ears. Listening to my heartbeat, I waited breathlessly, tingles running up and down my spine. The world around us melted. The green that poured from his gaze seemed to emit a type of fog, forming a cloud that surrounded us until I couldn’t see anything beyond the bleak minty overcast. Suddenly, echoing up from depths of the abyss was music. It surprised me and I looked around. A world had constructed around me in silence.

  I was back at the Whitehaven carnival, the world unfolded in an orange haze and dark silhouettes that kept the night buzzing. The crowd felt different from last time, there were more children and families here. Wait… I was here before, years ago; the lanterns that decorated the trees like tinsel had the whole area shining with warmth and sunset orange. Walking forward, I followed the voice of a woman singing up on stage. Her wild red hair a flame against the black backdrop. She hit every high note perfectly, keeping the crowd by her feet jumping and swaying to her music. I turned around and was able to feel the earth beneath my shoes. I could feel the breeze caress my hair and the heat rise upwards above my head. I lifted my hands up and twirled and my summery dress spun out with me.