“That may work at home or church but it would never work in the real world!” the sergeant announced.
Simeon almost always addressed people by name. “Let’s see if that is really true, Greg. In our homes, for example, would we want our spouse and children to respond to our power or to our authority?”
“Authority, obviously,” the principal cut in.
The teacher shot right back, “But why is that so obvious, Theresa? Power would get the job done, wouldn’t it? ‘Take out the garbage, son, or you’re going to get a whipping!’ Guess what, the garbage will go out tonight, will it not?”
Kim (who—I’d heard the second time she told me—was the head nurse from the Providence Hospital Birthing Center downstate), chimed in with, “Yes, but for how long? Soon that son is going to grow up and fight back!”
“Exactly, Kim, because power erodes relationships. You can get a few seasons out of power, even accomplish some things, but over time power can be very damaging to relationships. The phenomenon that frequently occurs with teenagers, we call it rebellion, is often a response to being ‘powered around’ their homes for too long. This same thing happens in business. Employee unrest is often ‘rebellion’ in disguise.”
I suddenly felt nauseous as I thought about my son’s behavior and the union drive back at the plant.
“Of course,” the teacher continued, “most reasonable people would agree that leading with authority is important in our homes. But what about a volunteer agency? Lee, you’re the pastor of a church and you must deal with a lot of volunteers. Is that correct?”
“Indeed I do,” the preacher replied.
“Would you say, Lee, that volunteers are more likely to respond to power or to authority?”
Laughing, Lee said, “If we tried to use power with volunteers, they sure wouldn’t be around for long!”
“Of course they wouldn’t,” Simeon continued. “They will only volunteer with an organization that is meeting their needs. So how about in the business world. Are we dealing with volunteers in the business world?”
I had to think about that for a minute. My first response was “of course they’re not volunteers,” but Simeon made me rethink my position.
“Think about it. We can rent their hands, arms, legs, and backs and the market will help us to determine the rent we will pay. But are they not volunteers in even the strictest sense of the word? Are they free to leave? Can they go across the street to another employer for an extra fifty cents an hour? Or even fifty cents less if they really don’t like us? Of course they can. And what about their hearts, minds, commitment, creativity, and ideas? Are these not gifts that must be volunteered? Can you order or demand commitment? Excellence? Creativity?”
The coach objected. “Simeon, I think you’re living in a dreamland. If you don’t exercise power, people will walk all over you!”
“Perhaps, Chris. And lest you think I’m totally a ‘pie in the sky’ kind of guy, do know that I understand that there are times when we must exercise power. Whether that be in applying the old ‘board of education to the seat of learning’ in our homes or in firing a bad employee, there are times when we need power. What I am suggesting to you is that when power must be exercised, the leader should reflect on why resorting to power was necessary. You see, we had to resort to our power because our authority had broken down! Or worse, perhaps we didn’t have any authority to begin with.”
“But power is the only thing that gets people’s attention!” the sergeant insisted.
“That may have been true at one time, Greg,” the teacher agreed. “But people respond much differently to power than they used to. Think about what this country has been through during the last thirty years. We’ve lived through the 1960s and watched the open challenges to power and institutions. We’ve witnessed abuses of power in our government with Watergate, Irangate, White-water gate, You-name-it-gate. We’ve had some very visible church leaders caught in outrageous and compromising scandals. The military has been caught lying to us with My Lai, Agent Orange, and perhaps now the Gulf War Syndrome. Big business leaders have been openly portrayed by the media and Hollywood as greedy destroyers of the environment—evildoers who cannot be trusted. I believe that many in society today are more skeptical of people in positions of power than ever before.”
The preacher interjected, “I was reading in USA Today last week that just thirty years ago three out of four people said that they trusted their government. Today that statistic is one out of four. Rather telling, I think.”
“This is all fine and good in theory,” the coach objected again. “But if, as you say, authority and influence is the way to get things done, then how do you go about building authority with all the different kinds of people we’re dealing with today?”
“Patience, Chris, patience,” the teacher answered with a chuckle. “We’ll be getting to that soon enough.”
The sergeant glanced at the clock and called out, “Simeon, I feel moved to speak, so like a good pupil I will speak. Can we adjourn for the morning so that I may go to the can?”
WE WERE SERVED three substantial meals each day—breakfast at 8:15 A.M. (following morning mass), lunch at 12:30 P.M. (following noon service), and dinner at 6:00 P.M. (following evening vespers). The food was fresh, simply prepared, and delicious, dished up by a pleasant and eager-to-serve monk called Brother Andrew.
Much to my surprise, I managed to attend each of the five daily services during my week at the monastery. Each day began with morning service at 5:30, followed by the mass at 7:30, noon service, evening vespers at 5:30, and compline at 8:30. The services generally lasted from twenty to thirty minutes, each with a slightly varied format depending on the time of day. At first I found the services to be somewhat monotonous but as the week progressed I was surprised to find myself actually looking forward to the next one. The services had a way of centering me and my day and allowed me time to reflect—something I had not done much of in years.
My roommate and I hit it off well together. I found Lee to be a very open person without a lot of pretense, unlike many of the religious types I had met in the past. Although we did not spend much time together, we did share thoughts with one another before retiring at the end of the day. We were usually so tired from the early rising and the daily activities that we would quickly fall asleep anyway. Overall, I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate.
As one would expect, the six of us attending the retreat came from different walks of life, our common denominator being that each of us were leaders in our respective organizations. We were all responsible for other people.
The days were structured around the five services, three meals, and four hours of instruction time with short breaks mixed in. We generally spent our remaining time reading, chatting with others, walking the beautiful grounds, or climbing down the 243 stairs to beautiful Lake Michigan for a stroll on the beach.
DURING THE AFTERNOON SESSION, the teacher asked us to pair up with a partner. Kim smiled at me and I joined her, determined to listen this time.
“Let’s put some more meat on these bones of building authority, or influence if you prefer, with others. What I would like you to do individually is think of a person in your life, living or dead, who has led you with authority as we defined it earlier today. That could be a teacher, coach, parent, spouse, boss—it doesn’t matter. Think of someone who has authority in your life, someone for whom you would walk through walls.”
I immediately thought of my dear mother, who had passed away a decade earlier.
“Now with your partner,” Simeon continued, “I would like you to list the qualities of character that this person possessed or possesses. Just write them down like a shopping list and then put your two lists together. Then I want the two of you to trim the list down to three to five qualities that would be essential for developing authority with people based on your life experience.”
For me this exercise was easy because my mother was a huge influence
in my life and I would gladly do more than walk through walls for her, if only I could. I quickly wrote “patient, committed, kind, caring, trustworthy” and passed the sheet to Kim.
I was surprised to discover that Kim’s list looked very similar to my own. She had selected a former high school teacher who had made a significant impact in her life.
Simeon went to the flip chart and asked each group for their list. As with Kim, I was amazed at how similar the lists were for each group. The group’s top ten answers were:
• Honest, trustworthy
• Good role model
• Caring
• Committed
• Good listener
• Held people accountable
• Treated people with respect
• Gave people encouragement
• Positive, enthusiastic attitude
• Appreciated people
Simeon backed away from the board, remarking, “Great list, great list. We will be coming back to your list later in the week and comparing it with another list that most of you will recognize. But for now, I have two questions about your list. My first question is this. How many of these character qualities that you say are essential for leading with authority are we born with?”
We all spent a minute studying the board before Kim offered a simple, “None of them.”
The sergeant objected. “I’m not so sure. A positive, enthusiastic, and appreciative attitude is probably something you’re born with. I’ve never been that kind of guy nor would I especially want to be.”
“Oh no? Maybe you could be that kind of guy if I gave you the twenty-five-thousand-dollar challenge,” the preacher retorted.
“What do you mean by that, preacherman?” the sergeant shot back.
“Suppose I said I would pay you a twenty-five-thousand-dollar bonus if, over the next six months, you showed a more positive, enthusiastic, and appreciative attitude toward your troops. I have one question for you, Greg. Would I or would I not witness some major ‘sucking up’ coming out of you toward your troops?”
Amid snickers the sergeant lowered his nodding head saying, “I see your point, preacher.”
Simeon rescued Greg with, “All of these traits you’ve listed are behaviors. And behavior is a choice. My second question is, How many of these ten traits, behaviors, do you currently display in your lives?”
“All of them,” the principal answered. “To some degree we do all of them. Some better than others and some perhaps very poorly. I could be the worst listener in the world, but I am still forced to listen on occasion. I could be a very dishonest person yet still be honest in dealing with my family.”
“Wonderful, Theresa,” the teacher said with a smile. “These traits are often developed early in life and become habitual ways of behaving. Some of our habits, our character traits, continue to evolve and mature to higher levels, while others change little from adolescence. The challenge for the leader is to pick the character traits that need work and apply Lee’s twenty-five-thousand-dollar challenge to them. Challenge ourselves to change our habits, change our character, change our nature. That requires a choice and a lot of effort.”
“A person can’t change his nature,” the sergeant said defiantly.
“Stay tuned, Greg, there’s more to come,” the teacher replied with a twinkle in his eye.
FOLLOWING THE MIDAFTERNOON BREAK, we spent the remainder of the day discussing the importance of relationships.
The teacher began, “Simply put, leadership is about getting things done through people. When working with and getting things done through people, there will always be two dynamics involved—the task and the relationship. It is easy for leaders to lose their balance by focusing on only one of these dynamics at the expense of the other. For example, if we focus only on getting the task done and not on the relationship, what symptoms may arise?”
“Oh that’s easy,” the nurse responded. “You can tell the taskmasters at our hospital by watching who has the greatest turnover in their departments. Nobody wants to work for them.”
“Exactly, Kim. If we focus only on tasks and not on the relationship, we may experience turnover, rebellion, poor quality, low commitment, low trust, and other undesirable symptoms.”
“Yeah,” I offered much to my surprise. “I recently went through a union drive back where I work because we were probably too focused on the task. All I preached was the bottom line and the relationship probably suffered.”
“But the task is important!” the sergeant pointed out. “None of us will be working for long if the job’s not getting done.”
“You are absolutely correct, Greg,” Simeon agreed. “If the leader is not accomplishing the tasks at hand but is only concerned with the relationship, that may be good baby-sitting but certainly not effective leadership. The key then to leadership is accomplishing the tasks at hand while building relationships.”
I had a thought I felt moved to share. “I think this may be changing a little, but many if not most of the people promoted into leadership positions these days are promoted because of their technical or task-related abilities. It’s a common pitfall that I’ve been warned against many times in my career. We promote our best fork lift driver to supervisor and now we’ve created two new problems. We’ve got a lousy supervisor and we’ve lost our best fork lift driver! So because of this flawed tendency, task or technically oriented people are probably in the majority of leadership positions.”
“That may well be true, John,” the teacher replied. “Earlier we said that power can be very hard on relationships. Now we need to ask the next question. Are relationships important where you lead? It took me nearly a lifetime to learn the great truth that all of life is relational—with God, self, and others. And this is even and perhaps especially true in business because without people there is no business. Healthy families, healthy teams, healthy churches, healthy businesses, and even healthy lives are about healthy relationships. The truly great leaders are skilled at building healthy relationships.”
“Could you be more specific, Simeon?” the coach challenged. “I usually think of business as being about brick, mortar, and machines. Just what relationships are you talking about?”
“To have a healthy and thriving business, there must be healthy relationships with the C.E.O.S. in the organization and I am not referring to the Chief Executive Officers. I am talking about the Customers, the Employees, the Owners (or Stockholders), and the Suppliers. For example, if our customers are leaving and going to the competition, we have a relationship problem. We are not identifying and meeting their legitimate needs. And rule number one in business is that if we do not meet the needs of our customers, someone else will.”
That got a reaction from me, “Yeah, the old days of wining and dining the customer and getting the order are over. Now it’s about quality, service, and pricing.”
The teacher agreed. “That’s right, John, meeting the customer’s legitimate needs. The same principle is true with employees. Labor unrest, turnover, strikes, low morale, low trust, and low commitment are merely symptoms of a relationship problem. The legitimate needs of the employees are not being met.”
I immediately recalled my boss telling me that the union campaign at the plant was a management problem and I had chosen not to listen to him.
“Let me take this a step further. If we are not meeting the needs of the owners or stockholders, the organization will also be in serious trouble. The stockholders have a legitimate need to get a fair return on their investment—and if we are not meeting that need as an organization, then our relationship with the stockholders will not be very good.”
The preacher offered, “That’s right, Brother Simeon. And if the stockholders aren’t happy, we aren’t going to be around for long as an organization. I found that out in a very painful way many years ago when I was G.M. of a large resort in Arizona. We were all having a lot of fun at work and not mindful of the bottom line, until the wakeup call came. I w
ent from the unemployment line directly into the seminary.”
The teacher marched on. “The same relationship principle is true with our vendors and suppliers, whether it be parts, services, or funding to operate our organizations. A healthy symbiotic relationship between supplier and customer is necessary for the long-term health of any organization. In summary then, healthy relationships with the customers, employees, owners, and suppliers (the C.E.O.S.) ensure healthy business. Effective leaders understand this simple principle.”
The sergeant wasn’t convinced. “But in the end, Simeon, do you know what is really going to make and keep the troops, employees, or whoever happy? The answer is always ‘Show me the money!’”
“Money, of course, is important, Greg. Just withhold a paycheck and you’ll quickly discover how important it is. However, for decades surveys done in this country on what people want most from their organizations have consistently shown money down at number four or five on the list. Being treated with dignity and respect, being able to contribute to the success of the organization, feeling in on things, always rank higher than money. Unfortunately, most leaders have made the choice not to believe the surveys.”
The preacher, who was squirming in his chair and quite obviously moved to speak, finally said, “Think of the institution of marriage in this country—roughly half of these partnerships, you could call them organizations, fail. Do you know the number one reason given for the failure? Money and financial problems! Now how many of you believe that? That’s like saying that poor people cannot have good marriages! How absurd! Having counseled couples for years in my pastoral role, I can assure you that money is what everyone points to when there are problems because it is tangible and we can grasp it. But a poor relationship is always at the root of things.”
The Servant Page 5