“Good point,” I jumped in. “During a recent union drive at our plant, everyone kept telling me that the main issue was money until I became convinced that it was. But the union-buster consultant we hired to help us get through the union campaign kept telling me that the issue was not money. He insisted it was a relationship problem but I didn’t believe him. Perhaps he was right.”
The principal asked, “Simeon, if relationships are so important in organizations and in life, and I happen to agree with you, then what do you believe is the most important ingredient in a successful relationship?”
“Glad you asked, Theresa,” the teacher quickly replied. “And the answer is simple: trust. Without trust, it is difficult if not impossible to maintain a good relationship. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. If you aren’t quite sure about this principle, then ask yourself this question: How many good relationships do you have with people you do not trust? Are you eager to have dinner with those people on Saturday night? Without basic levels of trust, marriages break up, families dissolve, organizations topple, countries collapse. And trust comes from being trustworthy. More about that later in the week.”
I am sure that we discussed much more in that first lesson on that first Sunday in October, but these are the main points I recall. I had so many thoughts and emotions going on at once that I had great difficulty paying attention toward the end of the day. I kept thinking about the responsibilities that I had “signed up” for: boss, dad, husband, coach—and those responsibilities juxtaposed with my power style of leadership gave me a sinking feeling. I was feeling depressed and thoroughly exhausted as I collapsed into bed that night.
CHAPTER TWO
The Old Paradigm
If you do not change your direction,
you will end up exactly where you are headed.
—ANCIENT CHINESE PROVERB
I WAS WIDE AWAKE at 4:45 A.M. but didn’t feel much like getting out of bed. I knew the teacher would be waiting for me at the chapel so I dragged myself out from under the warm covers, threw some water on my face, and made my way over to find him.
Simeon was sitting in the same chair he occupied for the five daily services. He waved me over and I sat down next to him.
“Sorry to get you out of bed to meet me this early,” I apologized.
“Oh not at all, I’ve been up for some time now, John. I’m glad to be able to spend some time with you. I asked the abbot yesterday about meeting for breakfast with you but he has yet to give me an answer. He did agree to allow us to break the Great Silence before 5:30 service and I’m grateful for that.”
“That’s really big of him,” I thought to myself.
“So tell me, John, what have you been learning?”
“All kinds of things,” I nonchalantly replied. “That whole power and authority thing was interesting. But hey, Simeon, you really got me on not listening to Kim yesterday.”
“Oh yes, John. I have noticed that you don’t listen very well.”
“What do you mean?” I asked defensively. “I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty good listener.”
“Yesterday morning when we met in your room, you cut me off in midsentence no less than three times. Now my ego can handle that, John, but I’m afraid of the messages you send to the people you are leading when you cut them off like that. Haven’t others told you of this bad habit you’ve developed?”
“No, not really,” I lied, knowing that one of Rachael’s biggest complaints with me was that I never let people finish a sentence before throwing in my two cents. It frustrated my kids to no end. Rachael always maintained that I probably did the same thing at work and insisted that nobody would ever have the courage to tell me to my face. Yet one time at work somebody did just that. It was during an exit interview with a production manager who was resigning to go work for the competition. He told me that I was the worst listener he had ever met. I didn’t pay much attention at the time because I figured that quitters and traitors didn’t know much anyway.
“When you cut people off in midsentence like that, John, it sends some bad messages. Number one, by cutting me off you obviously have not been listening to me very well if you’ve already formulated your response in your head; two, you do not value me or my opinion because you refuse to take the time to hear me out; and finally, you must believe that what you’ve got to say is much more important than what I’ve got to say. John, these are disrespectful messages you just can’t afford to send as the leader.”
“But that’s not the way I feel, Simeon,” I objected. “I have a great deal of respect for you.”
“Your feelings of respect must be aligned with your actions of respect, John.”
“I guess I’ll have to work on that,” I replied hurriedly, wanting to change the subject.
“Tell me about yourself, John,” the teacher asked as if reading my mind.
I gave Simeon a five-minute autobiography and another five-minute description of the “Simeon coincidences” and my recurring dream.
Simeon listened intently as if nothing else in the world mattered but what I was saying. He looked directly into my eyes, nodded his head periodically to acknowledge that he understood, but he never spoke a word until I was completely finished.
After a minute or two of silence, he said, “Thank you for sharing your story, John. That was fascinating. I love to hear about people’s journeys through life.”
“Oh, nothing so special,” I said in a discounting way. “So tell me, what do you think about all these Simeon coincidences?”
“I’m not sure yet, John,” he said, rubbing his chin. “I tend to agree with your wife that there is probably something to them. Our unconscious mind and the dreams it gives us has untold riches that we are only beginning to understand.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“So how can I be of assistance to you this week, John?”
“I guess I would just like to pick your brain some if I could, Simeon. I really am struggling a bit these days and my mind is restless. You would think a guy who has everything anyone could ask for would be content and happy. But as I just told you, that’s not the case with me.”
“John, it took me many years to learn that it is not the material things in life that will bring you joy,” he said as if stating a universal truth. “Just look around us. The greatest pleasures in life are absolutely free.”
“Do you really think so, Simeon?”
“Just for openers, John, think about love; marriage; families; friends; children; grandchildren; sunsets; sunrises; moonlit nights; twinkling stars; little babies; the gifts of touch, taste, smell, hearing, eyesight; good health; flowers; lakes; clouds; sex; the ability to make choices; and even life itself. They are all free, John.”
A few monks were beginning to file into the chapel and I knew our time was nearly up.
“I guess I’m supposed to learn something from you this week, Simeon. I don’t know what that could be but I’m willing to play along. I do know that I’ve got to get my life back together again before I lose my job or even my family. But to be honest with you, I’m actually feeling worse here, not better. The more I listen to you the more off track I realize I’ve been. I don’t think I have ever felt this low.”
“That is the perfect place to begin,” Simeon replied.
THE CLASSROOM WAS BUZZING when the clock began its nine chimes that Monday morning.
The teacher smiled around the group and said gently, “I suspect a few of you have been struggling with some of the principles we discussed yesterday.”
“You’re damn right we are!” the sergeant exploded, as if speaking for the whole group. “This fairyland talk goes against everything we’ve learned out there in the real world.”
The preacher shook his head and said, “What do you mean, ‘we’? Maybe you’re just going to have to challenge some of your old paradigms, soldier!”
“And what’s a paradigm, preacher?” the sergeant growled back. “Something y
ou got out of your Bible?”
Simeon took over. “Paradigm, now that’s a good word. Paradigms are simply psychological patterns, models, or maps we use to navigate our way through life. Our paradigms can be helpful and even life saving when used appropriately. They can, however, become dangerous if we assume our paradigms are never-changing and all-encompassing truths and allow them to filter out the new information and the changing times that are coming at us throughout life. Clinging to outdated paradigms can cause us to become stuck while the world passes us by.”
The sergeant said, “OK, now I get it. My old paradigm was that monks were weird and that monasteries were to be avoided at all costs! Thanks to my captain, who insisted on sending me here, I’m pleased to say that those paradigms are being challenged here this week!” He rolled his eyes.
We all laughed, and no one laughed harder than Simeon.
“Thanks, Greg, I think,” the teacher responded with a smile. “As an example of a dangerous paradigm, think about the worldview a little girl with an abusive father might develop. The idea—the paradigm—that grown men are not to be trusted would serve her well as a child, leading her to stay out of her father’s way. However, if she transfers that paradigm into the adult world as she grows older, she will probably run into severe difficulties with men.”
“I understand,” the nurse remarked. “The little girl’s paradigm was that all men are not to be trusted but the appropriate paradigm is that some men are not to be trusted. So a model that served her well while living at home with that jerk was inappropriately transferred into a different and larger context in the adult world.”
“Exactly, Kim,” Simeon continued. “It is therefore important that we continually challenge our paradigms about ourselves, the world around us, our organizations, and other people. Remember, the outside world enters our consciousness through the filters of our paradigms. And our paradigms are not always accurate.”
I added, “I read somewhere that we do not see the world as it is—we see the world as we are. The world looks very different depending on your perspective. The world looks different if I am rich or poor, sick or healthy, young or old, or black or white…. My wife sees the world much differently than I do, believe me.”
The principal offered, “I believe it was Mark Twain who said that we must be careful to glean the appropriate lesson from our experiences lest we be like the cat who sits on a hot stove. Because the cat who sits on a hot stove will never again sit on a hot stove but she will never sit on a cold one either.”
“Excellent, excellent,” the teacher responded with his usual smile. “Think of the old paradigms. The world is flat, the sun revolves around the earth, salvation comes by being a good person, women should not vote, black people are inferior, monarchies should rule the people, white spiked shoes should not be worn on the football field, long hair and earrings are for women only—you get the idea. New ideas and ways of doing things will often be challenged, even labeled as heretical, works of the devil, communistic. Challenging the old ways takes a lot of effort but so does the alternative. The world is changing so quickly that we can become stuck—or worse—if we don’t challenge our beliefs and paradigms.”
The coach stated, “I wonder if that is why continuous improvement is so big these days. If an organization is not challenging its beliefs and old ways of doing things, the competition and the world just passes it by. But change is so hard for people. Why do you think that is, Simeon?”
The teacher responded quickly. “Change takes us out of our comfort zone and forces us to do things differently, and that’s hard. Challenges to our ideas force us to rethink our position, and that’s always uncomfortable. Rather than working through things and tolerating hard work and discomfort, many are content to stay forever stuck in their little ruts.”
“A rut,” the principal asserted with a grin, “is little more than a coffin with the ends kicked out.”
The coach volunteered, “Continuous improvement is crucial for people as well as organizations because nothing stays the same in life. Nature shows us clearly that you are either alive and growing or you are dying, dead, or decaying.”
The teacher added, “Almost everyone buys into the idea of continuous improvement but by definition it is impossible to improve unless we change. It’s those brave souls on the cutting edge who are challenging and asking the questions that will lead the way for others.”
“George Bernard Shaw,” the principal chimed in again, “once said that the reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself; therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
“I often tell my players,” added the coach, “that it is best to be the lead dog on a dog sled for three reasons. One, you get to cut the fresh snow, two, you are first to see the new scenery, and three, you’re not looking up at a bunch of rear-ends all the time!”
“Thanks, Chris, I hadn’t heard that one,” the teacher chuckled.
He walked over to the flip chart and wrote down examples of old and new paradigms as the group brainstormed together.
OLD PARADIGM
NEW PARADIGM
U.S. invincibility
Global competition
Centralized management
Decentralized management
Japan = junk products
Japan = quality products
Management
Leadership
I think
Cause and effect
If it ain’t broke…
Continuous improvement
Short-term profit
Balance short-and long-term profit
Labor
Associates
Avoid and fear change
Change is a constant
It’s good enough
Zero defects
Simeon continued, “Of course, we have old paradigms about running organizations that may need to be challenged as we enter the new millennium. Like the little girl, we may be carrying old baggage and inappropriate organizational paradigms into a new and ever-changing world. What would you say are the predominant paradigms about running an organization today?”
The sergeant, as usual, was quick to jump on that one. “Pyramid style of management. Top down. Do as I say. If I want your opinion I’ll give it to you. Living by the golden rule that says ‘He who has the gold makes the rules.’”
“I think you’ve pretty much nailed it, Greg,” the principal chimed in. “And it doesn’t really seem to be changing. Our new generation of leaders, the Baby Boomers and Generation Xers—well, for a while some of us hoped they might do it differently and perhaps better, but they seem to be following in the footsteps of their predecessors.”
Simeon slowly walked over to the flip chart again, saying, “Let’s talk about the pyramid style of management paradigm and how it came to be so popular in our country.”
He drew a large triangle and subdivided it into five sections. “Our top-down pyramid style of management is a very old concept borrowed from centuries of war and monarchies. In the military, for example, we have the general at the top, with colonels or whoever on the next level, followed by captains and lieutenants beneath them, then the sergeants, and guess who gets to be on the bottom?”
“The grunts!” said Greg. “The front line troops often refer to themselves as the grunts and they’re damned proud of it too!”
“Thank you, Greg. And who is the one in closest contact with the enemy?” Simeon continued. “The general or Greg’s grunts?”
“Well, of course the grunts are,” the coach replied.
The teacher began to fill in typical organizational titles above the military titles, saying, “Let’s go one step further and translate this military model into our organizations today. Let’s put the CEO in the general’s slot, the vice presidents with the colonels, the middle managers with the captains and lieutenants, and the supervisors with the sergeants. Now guess who gets to be on the bot
tom in the typical organization?”
“The grunts,” three of us answered in unison.
“Not anymore,” the preacher announced. “We have now become enlightened and refer to them as the associates!”
“Thank you, Lee,” the teacher smiled. “And where is the customer in this model? Who is closer to the customer, the CEO or the folks doing the work and adding value to the product? I hope the answer is obvious to you.”
I offered, “My business mentor used to remind me that the people putting the glass in the boxes out on our factory floor are the ones closest to the customer. I mean, I may personally know the customers and may even take them to lunch occasionally, but the most important thing to the customers is what is inside that box when they remove the cover. And the last person to touch that glass is the worker on the floor. I guess that makes them closer to the customer.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard executives say that it’s lonely at the top. But they’re all alone because everyone else is out getting the job done!” Theresa blurted out.
“And so you get a model that looks something like this,” Simeon announced, backing away from the flip chart.
“Is this a good model or paradigm for running an organization today?” the teacher asked.
“One thing’s for sure, it is an effective way to get things done!” the sergeant replied somewhat defensively. “The old U S of A has kicked some major butt using this style—it’s been successful for a long time.”
“Well,” the preacher commented, “it does only seem natural after the great victories this country had earlier in the century that people would return home believing this top-down, obey-orders-without-question, power style of running things would be the way to get things done. Many people probably returned home thinking that this was the best, and perhaps the only, way to run their businesses, homes, sports teams, churches, and other nonmilitary organizations.”
The Servant Page 6