The First 400 Days (Book 1): We Are What Remain

by Taja Kartio

  Pulling the comforter and sheets back, I helped Hayden onto the mattress. He was too tired to seem to care about my assistance and the moment I pulled the covers back over him, he started to shut his eyes.

  "I'll be out there if you need anything. Okay?" Only a soft hum was my response. I'd just pretend that I was sure he heard me.

  When I came back down to the kitchen, both Beckett and Alex were sitting at the counter and Kale was standing across from them.

  "He asleep already?" Beckett asked, confused with my short disappearance.

  I nodded, "He's exhausted."

  "Poor little guy," Alex fumed, resting his chin on his knuckles, "Where do you think he came from?"

  "Probably somewhere around here. At his age, he wasn't on his own for too long. I think he'd been lucky to make it outside for a couple of hours by himself," Beckett leaned back in his chair, "I want to know why he was by himself, though."

  "I hope it wasn't anything too horrible."

  "I'll make an assumption and say whoever he was with, was attacked by Infected and he ran off terrified," I said.

  Alex frowned, "That's horrible."

  "Well, what do you think?"

  "I want to think that he was just off doing his own thing and he somehow got separated, or lost, from his group."

  "But how would he be wandering outside if he was in a house?" Beckett turned.

  Alex eyed him, "What makes you think they're in a house?"

  Beckett returned a look, "What makes you think they're not?"

  At this, Alex shrugged, "I don't know. But I don't want to automatically place fault on the Infected because that could mean that Hayden's guardians are dead and I don't want to think that."

  That was a terrible thought and I sadly had to agree. What if Hayden was truly alone and we were all he had? Granted, we were strangers to him just like he was a stranger to us, but the idea of us being all he had left was heartbreaking in a way. I hoped Alex was right. Beckett agreed with this also.

  Kale had still said nothing and his silence was irritating. I turned to him after a moment with my brows raised in a very snotty sort of way, "Okay. Go for it."

  He looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about, "What?"

  "Bitch at me. Just like you were doing earlier. Though I'm not sure why I deserve to be bitched at."

  "I'm not going to bitch you out. I was just mad when you ran outside in the open and put yourself at risk, that's all," He said it so simply like it was a common conversational topic. We could talk about the weather in the same tone.

  “That’s incredibly hypocritical! You did the exact same thing with Alex.”

  At this, Alex stood up from the counter, "Okay. I'm out."

  "Sorry," I grimaced at my mistake but Alex only waved back exceptionally as he walked out of the kitchen.

  Kale glared at Beckett across the counter, "What?"

  Beckett shrugged, "She's got a point."

  "Would you stop saying that?"

  "Dude, you did do the exact same thing with Alex. Running out in the open to be the hero. Why is Dani’s action any different?"

  "Because she's our sister!"

  "And you're our brother."

  There was a long pause. Kale shut his eyes and the beginning of a flaring temper cooled down. His shoulders relaxed and when he opened his eyes, he wasn't looking at Beckett it at me, he stared off beyond the kitchen, probably at nothing, and his voice was just above a whisper, "She's our sister."

  I understood more now. He had this same look when him and I discussed the gas station incident. That over-protective instinct was kicking in and I still admired it, knowing how much he cared but at the same time…

  "You need to get used to the idea that I can take care of myself. You get so freaked out every time you see or hear Dani and Infected together in the same sentence, you start treating me like I'm six again."

  I watched his attention redirect back to me. He looked me over sadly, frowning at my accusation, "I do freak out. Because all I ever see is you walking down that road all bloody again and it terrifies me to think about you like that again."

  Ah. So this was about the gas station incident.

  I exhaled, "We've talked about this before."

  "I know," Kale dropped his hands on the counter. His palms gripped the edge, "And nothing's changed since then. I thought I got over it and I thought I'd gotten through it but then you ran outside today and there was the Infected and then... I don't know."

  I glanced at Beckett quickly. He held the familiar look Kale has minutes earlier, staring off at nothing with, not exactly a blank look, but an expression I couldn't quite place. He was zoned out though I didn't think he was completely away from the conversation that was being spoken before him. Beckett didn't show it as clearly as Kale did but I sure he was just about the same on the topic of me, and Infected, and blood, and running outside, and... Ugh.

  "We communicate like a bunch of bitter elders in an old person's home, but you both see me as the tiny kid you've had to raise for the past ten years. I'm eighteen. I'm an adult. I was going to be moving out for college in six months. I was going to be on my own and... I knew I was going to be okay. I grew up with the best and you guys pushed me through everything and made me so much stronger than I could have otherwise. You guys think too little of me. I think I'm capable of a lot. Even with zombies in the picture."

  They thought about my words. I could see it in their expressions. Twitched smiles and agreeable looks at one another.

  "You sound so much older than you should," Beckett murmured.

  I smiled at this.

  Kale exhaled heavily, nearly smirking, "That was beautiful, Dani."

  "I was trying to be sappy and sentimental," I glared at him in a more amused way.

  Kale laughed at this, remembering how it was him who had said that same line weeks ago. Then his initial grin faded to a light smile, "Dani, we don't think too little of you but... You're right. You're still our little sister. You're ten years younger than us and in our eyes, at our age, you are the tiny pain in the ass we had to raise ourselves. We'll always panic a little when an Infected is within a twenty-mile radius of you."

  My brows scrunched together, "So, basically you're going to be panicking all the time?"

  "Basically."

  "Should have known," I chuckled.

  Dusk was coming fast. The lighting in the kitchen got darker the longer we stayed still in our places. No conversation was brought up about what we would do with the arrival. I didn't think there was much to talk about anyway. He was a kid, what were we supposed to do? He would stay with us.

  When I eventually left the kitchen, my first thought was to check on Hayden. I cracked the door open to peek inside the darkening room. The little figure on the bed was unmoving except for the steady rising and falling of his breathing. He needed this. I didn't know how long he'd been running around outside but I was sure his energy was burned up quickly. But again, why was he outside at all? Why was he alone? All the questions I had for him would have to wait until morning. Hayden was comatose to the world and I didn't want to disturb his clearly much-needed slumber. I shut the door quietly and found my spot on the landing where I usually slept, a mattress laid down on the ground at the foot of the couch with a tangle of blankets and sheets.

  Beckett and Kale would join me eventually. I wouldn't admit out loud, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep until they came to check in for the night. Every so often, bad dreams would still catch me off guard and tonight, I was certain they would get me again.

  Twenty Four

  I was the first one up, which felt kind of weird. Beckett or Alex usually beat me by a number of hours but today, I was awake just as the sun began to rise. I wasn't sure if it was because of a nightmare that I probably had but couldn't remember, my awkward positioning, or just an initial restlessness but the moment my eyes opened, I knew I wasn't going to be able to close them again.

  I stretched,
stood, and wandered to the bathroom off the master bedroom. Then after doing my business, I found myself standing by the bathroom window. Vivid hues of red, pink, and orange blended and slowly overcame the dark blue and purple of the dimming twilight sky. The first slither of the sun began to peek over the trees and houses in the neighborhood. It was beautiful and I took in every second of it but I eventually moved away and walked downstairs to the main living room. I decided on opening a book, Eragon, and slouched on the couch. The words were certainly indulging but I'd only read a few chapters before a quiet yawn tore my eyes away from the pages to the little figure behind me. Hayden, with slightly glazed eyes, frowned at the room before him. His toy lion dangled at his side and his other hand rubbed his eyes.

  "Morning," I greeted him with a soft voice. Hayden looked at me for a long couple of beats and I wasn't entirely sure if he remembered who I was or what had happened the day before. He hauled himself onto the bed across from me and I attempted a friendly smile even when it was met with silence.

  I wasn't quite sure what to do. I honestly felt a little uncomfortable underneath the little boys stare. It was one of those unwavering looks a kid would throw at you but don't realize it was awkward for the one behind the locked eyes. I readjusted myself and glanced out the window and then back down to my book, trying to mind my business.

  “Why're your brothers so old?" Hayden asked suddenly.

  I raised my eyes and met his attentive gaze. The question was amusing yet... it was incredibly random, "How old do you think they are?"

  Hayden tilted his thoughtfully but didn't answer for awhile. Soon I started to feel at fault for the counter question. Hayden was so young, did he know numbers well? I didn't know what kids his age knew and didn't know. Surely he knew how to count to twenty, probably to fifty, but beyond that, I had no idea.

  "Thirty?"

  I couldn't help but smirk a little at the innocence in his expression, "You're really close. They're twenty-eight. Except for Alex, he's not my brother. I don't know how old he is."

  "How old are you?"

  I closed my book, keeping my finger between the pages of been at, "Eighteen. That means my brothers are ten years older than me."

  He seemed to judge my answer for a beat. His brows scrunched up and his lips quieted, "Why're they so old?"

  I shrugged, "They were just born ten years before me."

  "Duh, but why?"

  I was completely unprepared for his cheek, let alone hearing his voice so much in one sitting. Yesterday I had barely been able to get a couple words out of him and now he was twenty questions with the lippy tone of a middle school girl.

  Again, I shrugged, "I don't know. My parents just decided to have me later on, I guess."

  Hayden tilted his head again, "Where are your mom and dad?"

  A choke built in the back of my throat. I didn't want to talk about that. Anything but that. Hayden was obviously oblivious to my sudden grief at his innocent question. I couldn't be mad as he didn't know any better but I truly was unsure how to answer him.

  "They're... not here anymore," I said slowly.

  Hayden considered this for a few moments before nodding, satisfied with my answer. He simply said, "My dad too."

  I frowned. He's too young to have lost his father, "I'm sorry."

  "It's okay," He nodded, looking down at his lion that he hugged tightly. Then I heard a low grumble. Hayden giggled and peered down at his little stomach, "My stomach is growling."

  I grew a smile, "Should we have some breakfast?"

  Hayden didn't hesitate to nod before pushing himself off the end of the couch. He followed me into the kitchen and he took his spot at the counter like he had the day before. There wasn't too much for food. We hadn't gone out to look for anything yet. Now that was the top priority.

  "How about Pop Tarts?" I held up an open, smushed Cookies n' Cream box. When Hayden nodded, I opened the box handed him one of the silver packages. For once, he actually loosened his grip on his stuffed lion and rested it neatly in his lap before handling the pop tart by breaking it small pieces and eating it in slow chews. I myself was content on eating a plain bagel.

  When he'd eaten well into the second pop tart, I cleared my throat, "So, Hayden... Why were you running outside by yourself yesterday?"

  The reaction was immediate. Hayden's leisured smile vanished and was replaced with an uncomfortable frown. His hands lost the pop tart and found the lion that he instantly scooped up and hugged tightly, "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

  I shook my head, "No, of course not. I just think whoever you were with, they're probably really worried about you."

  He was quiet for a beat and then he broke down, not in a tearful way, more in a panicked fashion, "I wasn't supposed to be playing by the window! But Ben and Toby said there was more space in the living room and then I threw the ball and it broke the window. There was a monster and it saw and then Dayna said to go hide. I was so scared. I wanted my momma, so I tried to run back but more monsters came and I ran outside and I got lost and I thought they were going to kill me-"

  "Okay. Okay," I tried to slow him down as his voice was speeding up and raising all at the same time, "You're safe now."

  Hayden sniffed before concluding his story with, "I wasn't supposed to be playing by the window."

  Shame on the ones he called Ben and Toby for even suggesting to play in what I was guessing a living room in the first place. And a ball? I'd understand if it was a small game of catch but if Hayden was able to break the window, then they must have been playing freaking baseball or something.

  "It sounds like it was just an accident, and accidents happen. What matters right now is that you're alive. I'm sure we'll find your group again, and then everything will be okay."

  His eyes went wide and doe-like, "You're going to to try and find them?"

  Wrong choice of comforting words. I honestly wasn't sure what we were going to do. Kale's worry bug would get in the way, and I didn't want to give Hayden false hope if we were never going to attempt to find his group.

  "We'll... do what we can," I could tell my words weren't very reassuring, "Do you have any idea where you left them from? How far you ran?"

  He shrugged, "I'm not sure."

  "Maybe a few streets? Did you cross a big road? Like a highway?" I suggested, hoping to spark some landmarks we could keep on the lookout for if we really did look for his group, "What did the house you were staying in look like?"

  He had to think about this, and I gave him all the time he needed. I went to the fridge and pulled out an apple juice and poured myself and Hayden a glass.

  "I went through a lot of backyards, I know that but I didn't see a highway. And the house was red and brown... with three garages." He said slowly, his mind seeming to spin.

  I nodded. It actually sounded like where he'd been staying was still within the neighborhood. That was good. And the description of the house was extremely helpful. A brown and red house with three garages plus a broken window. That shouldn't be too hard to find, "How many people are in your group?"

  Hayden aided himself with his fingers, counting. I watched as the number increased and I swallowed hard, "Ten."

  "Is that including you?" I asked. Hayden shook his head.

  Eleven people. That was a large group in comparison to sharing a house with only three. I wondered if they all knew each other or if some were just picked up and taken in on the side of the road.

  Within the short interval of silence, footsteps entered through the kitchen entryway. Hayden shrunk slightly at one of the figures beside me.

  "Hey, kid..." Kale cleared his throat, "I'm uh... sorry. About uh... about yesterday. For yelling. I didn't mean to scare you or anything."

  Hayden spared one small look at my brother, it was so quick that I barely saw it. His hands were around his lion again and his eyes were on the floor. When Kale finished, Hayden's eyes looked up and rested on me, like he was waiting for my approval or something. I nodded slightly
, adding a soft smile. Hayden then turned to Kale for another split second and he copied a nod.

  "Morning you guys." I heard Alex yawn behind me.

  "Hayden! Do you like video games?" I asked. They boy was skeptical but he nodded. Perfect, "That's Alex and he has a whole bunch of video games downstairs. If you want to go with him, I'll meet you down there in a few minutes?"

  Alex looked a bit surprised with the request I had just placed on him but he didn't say anything other than giving a small wave to Hayden who to my surprise, didn't waste a moment getting out of his chair and begin following Alex out of the kitchen. With one look back like he needed another green light from me, I nodded and waited a few moments after he disappeared before turning back to my brothers.

  "I think he hates me," Kale muttered.

  "He's still a bit shaken up from yesterday," I said, taking another bite of my breakfast.

  "From the Infected or from me?"

  I paused, "Both."

  Beckett took the wrapper of Hayden's breakfast into his fist and crinkled it up in his palm, "Did he talk at all?

  I shrugged, "Quite a bit actually. He was talkative this morning," I chuckled a little, "He asked why you guys were so old."

  "What?" Kale furrowed his brows.

  "And... he told me what happened to him," I continued, "He has a group of ten, including him. And it sounds like he was playing with a baseball with two other kids in the living room of the house they were in and the window shattered. A few Infected got through and someone told him to go hide but he ran out the back door."

  "Why didn't he hide?" Kale asked.

  "He wanted his mom."

  "He should have stayed hiding."

  I rolled my eyes. Kale was impossible, "He was scared out of his mind. Give him a break."

  There was a huff behind my back as he stepped toward the fridge. Beckett traded and equally annoyed look with me, "Does he know how far he traveled?"