Wickedly Twisted: Fairy Tales for Adults

by Davis, Lia;

  “Stop that now, men don’t bite their nails when they are nervous,” I hiss at her as quietly as possible. “You heard Friar Tuck, I can best the prince, I just have to focus.”

  “Archers, listen close. The rules are simple, you will be put into groups of two. You will have five arrows for each of the three targets set at various distances. The best score goes on to the next round until we are left with the winner. Please head into the arena and find your designated spot. Prince John is going to address the people before we start.”

  “Let us pray we don’t get the prince for many rounds. Maybe someone will get lucky and eliminate him first.” Will eagerly agrees as we join the others exiting the tent.

  The roar of the crowd shocks me momentarily, I have never done anything like this. For a brief moment doubt fills me. I stop at the post with my name on it and swallow the bile rising in my throat. I stare intently at the target, hoping deep breaths will help. A movement just to the right of the target catches my eye. My mother is waving a yellow scarf, trying desperately to get my attention, with tears of pride in her eyes. She smiles and nods when she knows I see her, and it’s exactly what I need to calm me down.

  Prince John rises from his chair on the dais and the crowd instantly quiets. “I was recently reminded by Prince Marion that we have broken tradition by not holding these games in a long time. In honor of his upcoming eighteenth birthday, we will host a series of contests ending with a ball in his honor.” The crowd cheers. It's not surprising they are so excited, food and wine will flow freely and these people need something good in their lives. “Archers, you are here because you think you are the best. If you are the last man standing, you will win twenty pounds.”

  The gasps ripple throughout the crowd. My heart drops into my stomach, I need to win that purse.

  Prince John takes his seat and waves to the servants to start the games. My foe is a toothless giant with a twitchy eye. He loses the coin toss, I elect to let him go first. It only takes three shots for me to see he is a novice and I will win easily. He finishes his shots, then I take a deep breath and line up my first shot. The red dot in the center draws my attention but I aim to the side and keep all of my shots just inside of his. There is no reason to show my hand too soon and garner unwanted attention.

  I knock out the next three contestants just as easily and head into the tent for the first break of the day. Will Scarlet is already sitting with a plate of food in front of her.

  “How have you fared so far, my friend?” A plate is put in front of me, I dig in greedily.

  “No one has come even close. I’m feeling good so far. Did you notice the prince is still in as well?”

  “There is still time, we have a long day ahead of us.”

  The tent flap opens and Prince Marion is ushered to the largest table, which happens to be next to ours. I know I should keep my face down and avoid attention but I can’t stop looking at him. Up close he is even more beautiful than I first thought. He smiles at one of the servants, large dimples giving him a carefree look.

  “You might want to control your face or people will think you have an ungodly interest in the prince. He is quite lovely though, isn’t he?”

  I drop my smile immediately, I had no idea I had reacted to him so openly. My parents are in love, I know what the feelings are supposed to be, I just never experienced them before. I have a feeling this squirming deep in my belly is not nerves about the contest.

  “I don’t know what you speak of.”

  “Oh really? You’ve had more than your share of boys interested in you, yet I have never seen you look at any of them the way you are right now.”

  “I’m simply sizing up my opponent. If you were taking this seriously, you would do the same.” I viciously bite into my chicken, looking anywhere but up. “Hurry up and finish your food before we have to go back out there.”

  She’s unimpressed with my gruff rebuttal. My mood lightens when she coughs and chokes a little on her bread. Serves her right for giving me a hard time. There’s nothing wrong with checking out the competition, is there?

  Chapter Five

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we are down to the last six archers. I’m sure you are as excited as I am to see who our victor will be.” Prince John nods at the remaining contestants. Will Scarlet, Prince Marion and I are left along with two of the castle guards and a farmer from the outskirts of the kingdom.

  We shake hands and take our places by the poles. My opponent, one of the guards, is a young looking man with a cocky grin. He wins the coin toss and elects to go first, fine by me. His arrows fly through the air and hit the target perfectly. On the next target, he hits all but one bullseye and on the furthest target he misses two. I am impressed, he has done better by far than anyone else I’ve gone up against.

  With my bow drawn, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, pausing just long enough to let my arrow fly. Not ready to show my skills too much, I purposely miss one on the second target and only one on the furthest target, guaranteeing me a spot in the next round.

  The guard is irate but keeps his composure as he leaves. I sit on the bench and watch the remaining two rounds. Will Scarlet is up against the farmer, she misses two in the second target and two in the final target. My leg is tapping subconsciously as I watch the farmer take his shots. I can’t help cheering when he misses one more than her, she is moving on as well.

  The farmer is gracious as he shakes hands with her and leaves. With a bounce in her step, she plops down next to me. “I was sure I was out that time. That’s the most I’ve missed all day.”

  “I’m just happy you are still here. Maybe we’ll be the final two, battling it out.”

  “One of us will have to knock Prince Hottie out first, and look, here he comes now.”

  The guard seems to be a few years older than the prince, it’s obvious they are friends. They are slapping each other’s back and making jokes. The prince wins the coin toss and elects to have the guard go first. The guard misses one on the second target and two on the third. He claps the prince on the back once more then stands back to let him take his shots.

  I know I should be watching the arrows fly but I’m distracted by the muscles tensing in his arms, the way his thumb strokes his cheek just before he releases each arrow. His full lips just slightly part with each exhale. The crowd cheers wildly, breaking me from my thoughts.

  Will Scarlet hands me a linen square. “You might want to wipe your brow, you’ve broken into a sweat.” My death glare sends her into a fit of laughter.

  “And now we are down to three. Prince Marion is in first place with only missing one shot. Robin Hood has two misses and Will Scarlet has four. As tradition dictates, Will has to best the prince to move to the final round and prove he is worthy.”

  “I have more worth in my little pinky than that blowhard has in his whole body.” Will’s whispered comment catches me off guard, my normal laughter escapes for a moment. She elbows me just as the prince glances over at us and gives me a curious look.

  I take my seat and watch as Will wins the coin toss and elects to have the prince go first. I’m not surprised when he hits all but one target. Will looks to me, I nod encouragement as she sets up. She misses the bull's eye once on the second target, this means she will have to get all five shots on the final target. Her first two shots find their mark, the third target misses by a hair's breadth. Not needing to take the last of her shots, she bows to the prince and comes back to the bench.

  “Not to distract you but he smells amazing. I mean, how is that even possible? We’ve been out here in the sun all day, I’m pretty sure the farmer smelled better than I did.”

  “I think you’ve been gone from your husband for too long. Now, have a seat and be my good luck charm.”

  I join the prince near the post. As Will said, his scent hits me instantly, and that unfamiliar tingle returns in my stomach.

  “I elect to let my guest pick if he would like to go first.”

&nbs
p; “I, um,” clearing my throat, I try again. “I choose to go second.”

  “You have both proven your skills today but I wonder how you can handle a little pressure. Please remove the first and second target. Add a target out further than the third. You will have two arrows with the first target and only one with the furthest.” Prince John smiles ruefully as he sits back down. He probably hopes neither of us win and he can keep the prize to himself.

  Prince Marion holds out his hand, for a second I stare at it. Remembering myself, I reach out and grab his hand. Electricity sizzles up my arm as his shocked eyes lock onto mine.

  “I apologize, Your Highness, I guess that’s God’s way of saying commoners shouldn’t be mingling with the gentry.” I let the line fall smoothly out of my mouth, barely holding back the bile.

  “Nonsense, my birth doesn’t make me better than you, just luckier.”

  Shocked, I pull my hand back and step away. Can he be telling the truth? Does he really feel differently than the rest of his class and Prince John especially?

  My throat dries as his thumb strokes his cheek ever so slightly before letting the arrow fly. He hits the center with both arrows on the first target. He takes a few extra breaths as he focuses on the final target. As the arrow releases, I close my eyes, afraid to see the outcome. Gasps from the crowd make my eyes fly open. Unbelievably, the arrow just missed the center of the bullseye. I have a chance.

  My face whips around to Will, I can barely control my nerves. She nods and takes a deep breath, signaling me to do the same. Much calmer, I get set and let them fly, and thankfully both hit the bullseye. It all comes down to the last shot.

  My eyes slightly defocus as I stare at the target, then the yellow scarf of my mother’s catches my eye. She and Joan are on their feet smiling as if I have already won. This is what I need, I need to remember what’s at stake. With one last look at the target, I close my eyes, put everything I have into the shot and let go. I hear the thud, and the crowd cheering. I peak one eye open then the other, scared to see who they are cheering for. Confused, I stare at the target. I only see the prince’s arrow. Shamefully I hang my head, not wanting to see my mother or Joan.

  I’m jerked to the side as Will throws her arm around me, cheering loudly in my ear.

  “Congratulations, Robin, I knew you could do it!”

  “What I did was miss the target altogether, how is that good?” I stare at her incredulously.

  “You didn’t miss, you went straight through the bull’s eye.”

  My jaw drops open, I have never done anything like that and definitely not from that distance.

  “I have never seen such skill. If you are interested, I’d be happy to talk to Prince John about making you a guard. I know my father will want the best archer in the land protecting his home.”

  Will nudges me. I’d like to say I’m dumbstruck by his offer, but part of me is frozen staring into his eyes.

  “He appreciates the offer, Your Highness, but he has a family to take care of and can’t possibly leave them.”

  “Robin Hood, Prince Marion, if you could join Prince John on the dais.” The servant bows and waits for us to lead. I hate seeing anyone bow to me, I did nothing to deserve special treatment.

  My feet shuffle slowly the closer I get to the stage. Prince John is bigger in person than I expected, not to mention my nemesis, Sheriff Nottingham, is standing behind him. If either suspect me of the robberies, I am going to be in serious trouble.

  “Congratulations to you both, you did wonderful.” I stare into the oily face of Prince John. My hatred for him solidifies as I can feel the elitism pouring out of him.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen you around these parts, have you travelled far to be here?” Sheriff Nottingham is studying me closely.

  “I mostly keep to my home in Sherwood Forest. No reason to venture far when you have a loving family, right?”

  He doesn’t say anything, and thankfully Prince John accepts this easily and turns to the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your champion, Robin Hood.”

  Never in my life did I expect to hear so many people cheering for me. Tears sting my eyes as I squeeze my father's bow. I know he would be proud of me if he were here today.

  The prince hands me the purse, “I hope we’ll see you at Marion’s birthday celebration next week?”

  “I have missed a lot of work today, if I can get caught up in time I would be honored to attend.” There is absolutely no way I am going as Robin Hood, not with the way the sheriff is looking at me.

  Prince Marion squeezes my shoulder, “Congratulations, the best man won today. I hope to see you at next year’s contest.”

  “I hope so as well, Your Highness.”

  I bow to both princes before heading over to my mother and Joan and getting swallowed up by their hugs. For the first time since my father left, I truly feel like everything is going to be okay.

  Chapter Six

  “The prince’s ball is in three days, I think you should use a portion of your winnings to buy a nice gown.”

  I roll my eyes at Joan for the tenth time this week. Scarlet made a big deal about me ogling the prince and Joan jumped on the opportunity to play matchmaker. Never mind the fact that I will never be considered worthy of him, I’m also considered an outlaw. Not very fitting behavior for a princess.

  “She’s right, dear, you have sacrificed everything to take care of this village. Take one night and enjoy being a seventeen-year-old girl.” My mother’s hand cups my cheek and she gives me her puppy dog eyes. She knows I cave when she does that.

  “Fine, but I’m not buying an extravagant gown that I can never wear again and you and Scarlet have to come with me.” I jab my finger toward Joan accusingly.

  “Have you ever known me to turn down free food? I’ll let Scarlet know she needs to dust off one of her gowns.”

  As soon as she is out the door, I grab my mother’s soft hand, so different from my calloused one. “Why should I bother doing this? He might as well be among the stars he is so unreachable. It sounds more like an evening of torture.”

  “There is no one too good for you, plus you forget who you are. You, my dear, are the best archer in the entire kingdom. There is literally no one better than you anywhere. Don’t sell yourself short, you are taking care of this entire village and still finding time to help me keep up with the house.” She turns my hands over so my palms are facing up. I barely feel her thumbs rubbing along my scars, they are so numb from daily labor.

  “I’m sorry, I know my hands are ugly.”

  “You see ugliness. I see bravery, determination, a will to survive. These hands can hunt for dinner, console a friend, protect your family. Don’t ever be ashamed.”

  “You have to say all of that, you are my mother. I appreciate it anyway.” She hands me a small bag of coins.

  “Now, let’s get you a gown and get you to that ball.”

  Chapter Seven

  “I still can’t believe they had material that matches your eyes perfectly. You are going to outshine every other lady at the ball.”

  Everyone has been struggling since the crusades began. The shop owner was so thrilled for customers buying more than just ribbons and baubles, she begged to make the gown more elaborate than anything I had in mind. She had tears in her eyes explaining everything she was doing and I understood almost none of it.

  I have to admit, the gown is beyond anything my imagination could dream up. The ice blue satin material is so soft, I am afraid to touch it and risk damaging it. Silver thread is stitched along the bodice, forming intricate flower designs. The silver ribbon and lace sewn throughout the gown ties in beautifully with the choker she made. I don’t recognize the beautiful woman staring back at me in the mirror. This is the woman I wanted to be when I was a little girl. It took a war to change all of that. This is the image I wish my father could see instead of the wizened soldier he is returning to.

  “Ladies, you all look lovely, the gentlem
en will be lined up to sign your dance cards.” Joan’s mother puts the last pin in her hair as she smiles at us. We were lucky the shop owner was so desperate, she gave us a phenomenal deal on Joan and Scarlet’s gowns as well.

  “I don’t know about you ladies but I intend to dance till the wee hours of the morning. These men might not be my husband but damn it if they aren’t going to entertain me.” Scarlet’s laugh is infectious, we all laugh till we cry. This is the most carefree any of us have been in almost two years.

  “Well, I guess it’s time to go. Remember, we are ladies again, try to act like it.”

  “You don’t have to tell me twice, I love having cleavage again. These beautiful breasts weren’t meant to be tied down.”

  “Joan, really, mind your tongue!” Her mother looks horrified at her joke. If she only knew the things we say when we are out on our raids. Something about facial hair and pants make you feel so free.

  “Okay, let’s go catch you a prince.”

  Chapter Eight

  The grounds around the castle are decorated like a fairy tale. The lanterns and ribbon intricately placed around the perimeter give everything a soft glow. Joan is thrilled to see the buffet table is at least ten feet long and overflowing with food. The band is getting set up on the makeshift stage but my ears perks up when I hear music a little further away. It only takes a short walk to discover the gentry are at a separate party just inside the castle walls. If the guards stationed at the entrance are any indication, commoners are likely not allowed inside to mingle.

  “Good evening, ladies. If your dance cards aren’t full, we would love to take you a turn around the floor?”

  Scarlet elbows me then hands her card to the good looking stranger. She grabs my card and hands it to his equally nice looking companion. He signs it with a flourish and smiles shyly as he hands it back to me.