Hopeless Heart (Regency Romance)

by Rebecca King

  Georgiana dutifully did as she was told and slowed the horse to a fast walk.

  “Where do we go now?” She looked behind them as she asked and heaved a sigh of relief when she saw it empty of other traffic, in particular Will.

  “Are you alright?” Simeon asked curiously having watched the swinging emotions on her face.

  “Yes, fine,” Georgiana assured him. “Let’s go back, shall we?”

  “But I had hoped that we were might have a picnic while we are out,” Simeon protested. “There is a wonderful spot just up ahead.”

  “No, thank you,” Georgiana said firmly.

  Suddenly, she was in no mood to pander to the demands of any man, including Simeon. Although it galled her to admit it, she had risked enough for one day–enough of her life, and enough of her reputation. A picnic alone with Simeon was going too far even for her. The only problem was that she had no idea where they were.

  “Where do we turn around?” she asked eyeing the road ahead.

  “Let’s have something to eat first,” he persisted. “We have to enter the field to turn the curricle around. If we are going so far as the field-”

  “No,” Georgiana said firmly. Rather than wait for instructions, she did exactly as he had told her and swung the curricle into a field a little further down the road. She quickly re-joined the road so that they were heading back to Mecklemerry.

  “There,” she said with no small measure of relief. “See how easy that was? Now we can get back before our absence causes yet more gossip.”

  It was evident from the thunderous look on his face that Simeon didn’t like to be thwarted. He hadn’t uttered a word but the sudden tension in him was distinctly hostile. She half expected him to ask for the reins back, and that left her in a quandary. If she gave them back to him then she would be at his mercy and he was apt to stop off somewhere for the picnic he was so determined to have. However, this wasn’t her curricle. Did she have the right to keep them if he wanted to take control again?

  “Give me the reins back before we join the main road,” Simeon demanded with a sulky pout as soon as the village came into view.

  Aware of the other people on the road, and the safety of the village up ahead, Georgiana did just that and took the opportunity to put as much physical distance between them on the seat as possible. It was then that she took the opportunity to take a sneak peek at him.

  Unsurprisingly, he looked like a mardy child who had just been told to go to bed early. There was also something else lurking in his gaze, something more. There was a hardened glint there that was faintly sinister. She shivered and suspected she was being warned about something only had no idea what. Whatever it was she was seeing made her distinctly uncomfortable, and confirmed that her decision not to take a picnic with him had been the right one.

  By the time the carriage rumbled to a stop outside of her aunt’s house they had drawn the attention of several locals who stopped what they were doing to watch them. Uncomfortably aware that they were making a spectacle of themselves riding out alone together, Georgiana kept her gaze lowered and willed Simeon to get them to the house quickly.

  “Thank you,” she murmured politely when he handed her down. To her dismay, he insisted on escorting her to the front door. “It was wonderful, thank you.”

  Simeon nodded. Rather than speak, he lifted her hand pressed a lingering kiss onto the back of it. It appeared that his earlier sulks had vanished because there was no trace of discontent in the friendly gaze he kept pinned on her. In fact, unless she was mistaken, there was a slight hint of mischief. It was as though he was deliberately trying to make her uncomfortable.

  I need to be wary around him.

  She realised then just how easy it would be for him to destroy her reputation completely. Quickly yanking her hand away, she pushed open the front door and turned toward him to block him from following her.

  “I should like to call upon you first thing in the morning,” he promised huskily, standing far too close to her for comfort or propriety.

  Georgiana backed into the house warily, and half-closed the door to stop him from coming closer. “What for?” she asked but found herself staring into thin air.

  Stupefied, she peered around the edge of the door in time to watch him clamber quickly aboard his curricle and drive away.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “It looks like you have an admirer,” Ruth said from her position beside the window in the study.

  Georgiana entered the room, a worried frown marring her brow.

  “You don’t seem too happy about it,” Ruth murmured. Strangely, she didn’t appear pleased about it either.

  “I have a problem,” Georgiana sighed as she stood beside her aunt. Together they watched the people hurrying past the house for several moments before Georgiana broke the silence. “I seem to have enraged the gossips in the village by going out with him today.”

  Ruth nodded but didn’t speak at first. It was clear that she was choosing her words carefully.

  “What is it?” Georgiana prompted.

  “I have heard snippets of the rumours going around about you. While most people are discrete about it, some of my closest friends and confidants have told me what they have overheard.”

  “And?”

  “It appears that the village thinks Will is a scorned lover whose association with you has cast you into disgrace with your parents, hence you have come here to live with me.”

  “Oh, how ridiculous,” Georgiana snapped dismissively, her voice full of the contempt. “Who on earth sets these rumours into motion?”

  “It doesn’t matter who starts the rumours, Georgiana. The fact that they are being discussed is enough to sully your reputation. You didn’t help matters by going out with Simeon today. He is a highly eligible bachelor around these parts. Now that has raised eyebrows but it won’t cause a scandal because of his connections and eligible status. Still, you were seen with Will here the other night, and out with Simeon today. It won’t take much for a young woman to get a certain reputation.”

  “I am sorry,” Georgiana whispered. “I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

  Ruth snorted. “It isn’t my reputation I am worried about. Those in the village who wish to cast aspersions on my character have to contend with the sterling reputation I have built up in the thirty or so years I have been here. Nearly everybody of my acquaintance would dismiss their attempt to slander me as ridiculous. It is you I am concerned about, Georgiana. Once people start to question your morals, it is extremely difficult to live and breathe around these parts without risking their gossip. They will turn seemingly innocent situations against you at a moment’s notice. Truth has nothing to do with it.”

  Georgiana contemplated what to do for several moments. She was edging on total ruination and that would make her continued stay at her aunt’s house virtually impossible.

  “I shall make sure it doesn’t happen again with either Simeon or Will. Unfortunately, Simeon has said that he intends to call upon me in the morning and left before I could refuse him.”

  “You are angry,” Ruth commented when Georgiana flopped heavily into one of the chairs in the room.

  “I am,” she admitted. “I am sick of having other people dictate my life; people like Cecily, Papa, Will, and then Mrs Atterton with her gossip mongering. Now Simeon is not giving me the change to decide what I want and just tells me what he is going to do. When I came here I had hoped that everything would settle down but no. Here I am being dictated to by the gossips and have to stop doing what I want to do in case I upset anybody. I am sick of it, Ruth. Absolutely fed up of it all. Is there no place I can go where I can simply be myself without someone passing judgement on me? I wouldn’t mind, but I haven’t done anything wrong.”

  Her voice was far sharper than she intended but her frustration was a heavy burden she needed to off-load before she went mad from the stress of it all. The disgust at having come all of this way just to be faced with th
e same kind of situations was ridiculous.

  “I will deal with Simeon,” Ruth sighed. “I own this house and if he calls by here, he will have to take tea with me. It is highly inappropriate of him to come here and take tea alone with you. Will has agreed to stay away, so he doesn’t cause a scandal. I can’t permit Simeon to do what Will has done and get away with it.”

  “He has?” Georgiana’s voice was full of hurt at the thought that Will would willingly agree to avoid her.

  Ruth nodded. “He plans to leave soon,” she added, and watched her niece’s reaction carefully.

  Georgiana blanched, but nodded. It was unsurprising, really. He had to go back to Cranbury eventually. She had just anticipated that she would be glad to see him go. The reality was that she wasn’t. She dreaded the moment when she learned he had ridden out of her life for good. Tears gathered on her lashes but she rapidly blinked them away and stared absently into the fire.

  “I can sit in my room for the next two weeks,” Georgiana offered sarcastically. “That should make everybody happy.”

  Ruth shook her head sadly. Rather than admonish her, she leaned forward. “Do you still intend to try to dress as a man?” she asked thoughtfully.

  Georgiana stared at her unsure if she had heard correctly. “Well, yes, I suppose so,” she stammered warily.

  Ruth nodded. “Well, there is no time like the present is there? While you should not go about it around these parts, in a town like Marshampton, people won’t notice if you adopt your disguise well.”

  “Pardon? Are you telling me to go and live in Marshampton for a while?” Georgiana stared at her aunt. “Alone?”

  “Well, I can’t come with you,” Ruth said flatly. “I am not suggesting you live there. Of course I would never throw you out of here. You are welcome to stay for as long as you want to. I have said to you that I wish you would make the move permanent and I mean it. However, you need to get away from all of this, especially Will while he is here.”

  Georgiana frowned. She had no idea what her aunt was up to but her suggestion went against everything she had just said. One minute she was warning her against ruining her reputation by encouraging the attentions of two eligible bachelors but in the next moment was suggesting Georgiana travel alone to a town to dress as a man.

  “I don’t understand,” Georgiana murmured.

  “You need to go to Marshampton. There is a very nice hotel there which is quite reputable. Mr Parker can take you in his carriage.”

  “What? Henry has a carriage?”

  “Yes, my dear. He caught the post chaise the other day because he didn’t want to drive all the way from his son’s house. His own conveyance is rather old, but it is still perfectly serviceable. It would be best for you to take a day or two away from the village.”

  “If you are sure,” Georgiana mused. Now that she understood Ruth’s plans she fully supported the idea to take a few days away. “I confess I have never stayed in a hotel before.”

  “What about when you had your season in London?” Ruth asked.

  “Oh, Papa paid rent on a house for a few months. It all worked out quite well, and gave Mama the opportunity to host a few parties of her own, in spite of Papa moaning about the expense all the time.” She threw Ruth a rueful grimace. “Papa was secretly relieved when I said I didn’t want to have another turn in London, although Cecily objected vociferously.”

  “I don’t doubt it,” Ruth murmured without malice. “So go and enjoy a stay in a hotel. Add it to the list of adventures and take it as a small holiday of sorts. A day or two away will give you the time and peace you need to make your mind up about both Will and Simeon,” Ruth advised.

  “I don’t really have any choice about Will,” Georgiana replied, making no attempt to hide her sadness.

  “What about Simeon?” Ruth asked with a frown.

  Once again, Georgiana sensed her aunt had concerns about him too. “I like him but there is something about him that troubles me.”

  Ruth nodded, completely unsurprised. “You should proceed with caution there. Being absent tomorrow morning when he calls again is probably the best thing for you both. While you are gone, consider what you want to do about him. If you don’t wish to encourage his affections you really ought to distance yourself.”

  “That means no more curricle driving,” Georgiana said quietly.

  Ruth agreed. “No more curricle driving.”

  Georgiana nodded. Her gaze was drawn to the window. Her eyes widened when she saw a large, aged carriage rumble to a stop outside of the gate.

  “Er?”

  “That’s Mr Parker. Quick, go and pack,” Ruth urged as she jumped out of her chair and hurried to the door. Sensing Georgiana’s hesitation she paused in the doorway and looked back at her. “Hurry! There is no time like the present. It is only for a few days. I have to go and sit with Mrs Merriweather again because she is still poorly so you may as well go and enjoy yourself in a hotel now while Mr Parker can take you there.”

  Georgiana did as she was told. As she climbed the stairs she realised why her aunt was so insistent she leave now. Ruth needed to return to Mrs Merriweather’s house and, given what had happened the last time she had left Georgiana alone in the house, wanted her gone. The prospect that her aunt didn’t trust her to be by herself was disappointing, and she resolved right there and then to do everything possible to restore her aunt’s faith in her.

  An hour later, Georgiana sat inside Henry’s carriage with the vague impression that she was being spirited away. It was worrying and a little thrilling, not least because there was an air of secrecy about what she was doing which added to her little adventure. If she was honest, Georgiana was a little relieved that she wasn’t going to be alone in the house again, not least because it was incredibly boring living by herself. There was nobody to talk to, to share things with. There was no other physical being to take away the loneliness.

  “Penny for them?” Henry prompted when he realised how quiet she was.

  Georgiana looked at him. “I am just mulling over how much I have changed since being here.”

  “Oh? How so?”

  It helped Georgiana that Henry had to keep his attention on the road. It rendered her capable of saying what she wanted to say without fear of embarrassment.

  “Before I got here, I had hoped I might just stay with my aunt for a few weeks.”

  “Before you went home,” Henry added when she fell silent.

  “No. I didn’t plan to stay with my aunt for long because it doesn’t seem fair on her. I intended to buy a home of my own,” she replied.

  “And now you don’t?”

  “I am not sure,” she said with a sigh. “I have just realised how much I have changed. It has only been a few weeks but already, looking back on my life in Cranbury feels like I am looking back on the life of a completely different person. I am not the same was I was the day I left.”

  “You have spread your wings and started to learn who you are,” Henry replied with a knowing smile.

  Georgiana nodded. He was right. She had grown up, taken control of her life, and was now dealing with the difficulties it brought her, albeit with her aunt’s help. Will and Simeon were effectively nothing more than teething troubles. She knew they were both men who would move on in time, and would take their troubles with them. It was down to Georgiana to make sure she never made the same mistakes again as she had with either man.

  Not only that, but a few weeks ago she wanted to throw herself headlong into her list of adventures, and would have done so recklessly. Now, she had no intention of making life harder for herself by willingly causing a scandal. She realised she needed to be discrete and was prepared to wait for the right opportunity to present itself.

  Three weeks ago you would have done anything to encourage Will’s affections; for him to see you as a young woman. Now you don’t want him around you if he doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, she mused with a quiet sense.

  That was her
biggest achievement of them all.

  The following morning, Georgiana sighed and rolled over in bed. She was warm, relaxed, and had nothing to do with her day other than rest and decide what she wanted to do with her life. She stared at the ceiling she contemplated that.

  She recalled her conversation with Henry yesterday. He had said that she had grown up, and he was right. She had. Had she grown up enough to buy a home of her own? Did she really want to?

  “I am restless at Aunt Ruth’s house because it isn’t my home. I am always conscious that the contents belong to her. Maybe I should live alone? I will get used to the quiet and solitude, eventually. Maybe I should like to try gardening, or poetry, or a spot of painting?” They were all things Cecily deemed a lady should never do but Georgiana didn’t see why she shouldn’t at least try them.

  She had no idea how one went about purchasing a house, or if it was even possible for someone of her age, but she wasn’t going to find out unless she made a few enquiries. With that firmly rooted in her mind, Georgiana threw the covers back and went to dress.

  Several hours later she ambled down the main street of the town. A rather quaint yet curious tea shop lay ahead and drew her like a bee to a honey pot. Minutes later she placed her bag on the table at her elbow, ordered tea and cakes, then sat back to watch the pedestrians stroll past the window.

  Her morning had turned out to be quite a success. The house selling agent had, after only a momentary pause, given her details for several properties in the area for sale, all of which were close to her aunt’s home. Georgiana removed them from her bag and began to read them while she waited for her tea. She was so engrossed in them that at first she didn’t realise the maid had arrived with refreshments until a heavy tray was slid in front of her.

  “Thank you,” she murmured with a jolt as she looked up. Her start of surprise was quickly followed with a gasp of dismay when she saw a familiar looking man stalk arrogantly down the street.