“I’m sorry, dear. He went out early this morning. He said he needed some fresh air. Did you try his cell phone?”
“Yes, but he didn’t answer.”
“Is everything okay with you two?” she asked, sensing my urgency as well as being very intuitive where her son was concerned.
“I just need to talk to him,” I said, too embarrassed to explain anything.
“Well, we’re going to church in a little while. I’ll tell him you called. I’m sure he’ll call you when we get home.”
“Thank you.”
While Brian was at church with his family, I was sitting next to my mother and brother tying to concentrate on my father’s sermon.
“Why wouldn’t he answer his cell phone? What did I do?” I berated myself throughout the entire sermon and couldn’t wait for church to end.
“Mom, would you mind if I skipped brunch this morning?” I asked, needing to talk to Brian.
“Delaney, we always have brunch together as a family after church,” she said, telling me in her own way that I was expected to attend our traditional Sunday meal.
“Please mom? I really need to talk to Brian,” I said, with desperation in my voice.
“Delaney, I think you may be getting too serious about Brian, and he obviously is very serious about you. You’re very young, and you have your whole life ahead of you.”
“I thought you liked Brian?”
“We do. He’s a wonderful young man. I just want you to take it slow. Be careful, and don’t do anything you may regret.”
“Mom, we haven’t done anything,” I said, embarrassed.
“Okay. I guess you could miss brunch this once. But, please eat something. You are way too thin.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said and headed off.
“Don’t you want a ride?” she called after me.
I knew my father would be talking to his congregation forever, and I needed to talk to Brian right then. “No, I’ll walk. It’s beautiful out today,” I said without looking back.
“Be home for dinner!” she called after me.
I half walked, half ran to Brian’s house, hoping he would be back from church by the time I got there. I had to make him understand that I really did want to kiss him, and that it had meant something to me.
By the time I made it to his house, I was determined to make him listen to me. I knocked on the door, still out of breath from my brisk walk.
Brian opened the door.
“I need to talk to you!” I said.
“Delaney, now’s not a good…”
I didn’t take no for an answer. I pushed past him, turning to face him. I reached behind him and pushed the door shut. He was going to listen to me, right then, whether he wanted to or not.
“Please let me explain.”
“Let’s go outsi…”
“NO, just listen.”
“Delaney…”
I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back against the door and said, “I know you think that I’m going to disappear again, or that Logan is going to come and sweep me away.”
“Delaney, we really should go…”
“Shut up, Brian! Please, let me finish.” I was determined to tell him how I felt. He had to listen to me. “I’m NOT going to disappear! And as far as Logan is concerned, that’s over! It was over before it actually started! Please believe that!”
“Okay,” he said, “Can we take this outside now?” he urged again, but I refused to listen.
“NO! I’m not finished. You need to know that when I asked you to kiss me it was because I wanted you to. I didn’t do it for you or because of what Molly said. I was confused about what she said, yes, but that had nothing to do with it. It was my decision.”
He stood there, not sure what to say or do, so this time I took the lead. I pulled him down to me and I started to kiss him. He was hesitant at first, and I assumed he still didn’t completely believe me, so I kissed him hard and longingly, wanting him to know I wanted his kiss.
He let me kiss him for a moment, unable to resist kissing me back, but finally he gently pushed me away. “Delaney, um” he said, out of breath.
“So, do you believe me now?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, looking very shocked.
“Good! Try to remember that the next time you storm off thinking I did something against my will.”
“Um, even if it was possible for me to forget this moment, which it’s not, I don’t think all of the witnesses would let me. In fact, I’m sure that I’ll be constantly reminded of this moment for many years to come,” he said, with a very strange look on his face.
“What? You lost me. What witnesses?”
“Delaney, turn around.”
I did as he said and almost passed out when I noticed, not six feet away, a room full of people. They were all stunned silent and staring right at me. I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move or make a sound. I was absolutely mortified.
Brian put his arm around me then and whispered, “I tried to tell you.”
Brian’s mom appeared then. “Delaney, we’re just having a little gathering after church. Don’t worry. We’re all friends and family here. Let me introduce you…” She saw the terror in my eyes and immediately changed her tactic, “On second thought, why don’t you and Brian go to the store for me? We’re…out of 7-up,” she said, looking over my head at Brian with a nod.
Just then one of their guests, I’m assuming a relative, walked over to me, grinned and then patted Brian on the back. “She’s a wild one Bri. You better watch her every minute!” he chuckled and then strode off into the kitchen.
I was still frozen in the same spot. The comment from his relative only added to my humiliation, but I could not have possibly blushed any deeper as every ounce of blood from my body already filled my face. Brian turned me back around and said, “It’s okay. Let’s go.”
He led me outside. I stopped at the edge of the porch steps, feeling completely humiliated.
Brian walked down two steps and then turned to face me. Standing two steps below me put us almost at eye level. I could tell he knew I was humiliated. He didn’t say anything at first, he just touched my cheek. “What did I just do?” I asked, finally able to speak.
“You just made me the happiest guy alive!”
“Oh, my God! Your parents, your friends and family. They all watched…” I was shaking.
“Delaney, it’s okay! You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I kissed…”
“Yes, you did. That was my favorite part, by the way,” he grinned.
“How can you be so calm? I just made a huge fool of myself. Oh, Dear Lord, why didn’t you stop me?”
“Delaney, its fine. There’s nothing wrong with showing a little affection. Trust me, I appreciated it!” he grinned.
“You have no shame!” I said, thawing.
“Why would I be ashamed of having the most beautiful young woman kiss me in front of a few friends?”
“I did more than that!” I said, reminding him of all I had said.
“So, I guess you kind of like me, huh?” he asked, grinning.
“No,” I said, realizing ‘like’ wasn’t a strong enough word for the way I felt about him. “I kind of love you,” I admitted, knowing it was true. I really did love him. It was a comfortable, safe love, and I felt very lucky to have him in my life.
I could see the absolute adoration in his eyes. My words were exactly what he was waiting for. He picked me up and kissed me with such desire that I was almost frightened by the intensity.
“Um, I’m sorry to interrupt…” his mom said, standing behind us on the porch.
“Not as sorry as me,” Brian said, teasing his mother.
“Well, I really did hate to interrupt, but did you two realize that you’re standing in front of the window?” she asked quietly, trying not to embarrass me anymore than I already was.
“Oh no!” I said.
“Are you okay, Delaney? It’s rea
lly no big deal. We really didn’t hear what you said…all that well,” she lied, trying to spare my feelings.
I started to laugh then, thrilled to be back in Brian’s good graces, and relieved to realize that I actually did love him. My life was finally beginning to make sense. I knew I still loved Logan. I knew I always would. But I also knew Brian was a good, caring person and that I loved him too, in my own way, and he loved me unconditionally.
“We’ll go get your 7-Up now, Mrs. Walters,” I said, grabbing Brian’s hand.
“Delaney, I don’t really need any 7-Up,” she smiled and gave me a wink.
“Oh. Thank you!” I said, knowing she had simply offered me an escape from my humiliation.
“Honey, I think if you’re in love with my son, then it’s okay for you to call me Christine.”
“Thank you, Christine,” I said, blushing yet again.
She hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Thank you for making Brian so happy. He loves you so much. You are a very welcome addition to our family.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Brian asked, curious.
We both ignored him, and then I said, “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon together. He finally walked me home just before dinner, as my mother had ordered. We were both just happy to be together. He didn’t say much and seemed deep in thought when we were standing on my porch.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked.
“That I couldn’t possibly love you more, and that I want you to kiss me again, like you did earlier,” he said, reminding me of my earlier humiliation.
I blushed again, and said, “The next time I’m about to make a huge fool of myself, please promise to stop me!” I said.
“I tried to stop you. You were just very determined to make your point.”
“You could have dragged me outside; you are a bit stronger than me, you know,” I said, grinning.
“I’m weak when I’m with you,” he said, looking deep into my eyes.
I smiled up at him and he leaned down to kiss me, but stopped half way, looking hesitant. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Did you really say that you loved me? Or was I just imagining it...again?”
“I love you,” I said, and closed the gap between our lips. As we kissed, I realized I did enjoy the taste of his lips and his warm breath. I sighed, which made him pull me closer to him and I could feel his desire and knew we had to stop. But as I was about to pull away, my mother opened the door and said, “Come inside, Delaney!”
Brian pulled away from me then, embarrassed at being caught in such a moment by my mother. “Um, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight,” he said, still out of breath.
“I’ll be right in, Mom,” I said, wanting to at least say goodbye in private.
“NOW, Delaney!” she said, leaving no doubt as to her meaning.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I smiled, apologetically.
Of course the lecture began the second I stepped into the house. “I told you this morning that you two were getting way too serious. You two shouldn’t be doing…that and especially not in front of the neighbors!” she said.
“So you’re saying I shouldn’t kiss my boyfriend?”
“Not like that! I think you two should take a break from each other before things get too serious!”
“We only kissed, Mom!”
“Yes, I saw what you were doing. So did the neighbors. It’s not proper and you weren’t raised that way!”
“We kissed. We didn’t have sex in the front yard!” I said, raising my voice.
She stopped and looked at me for a moment. “Are you two having sex?”
“NO! Not that it’s really any of your business.”
“Okay,” she said, but I wasn’t certain I had convinced her. “You are a beautiful young lady and I can see how Brian looks at you. He’s a nice young man, I know that, but he is a young man and young men have…desires.”
“I have desires too, Mom, but I know where to draw the line. He respects me and hasn’t asked me for anything. So please stop worrying!”
“Dinner will be ready in a half an hour. Maybe you should…wash up,” she said, as if I should go shower now because I had kissed my boyfriend and I needed to wash away my sins.
I ran upstairs to my room and closed my door. I headed to my window to open it and get some fresh air. I stuck my head out the window to breathe in the cool air, and that’s when I saw the car, Logan’s car.
It was parked across the street. My heart started pounding, my breathing coming faster and faster. He was here for me, I knew it! He had changed his mind. I was just about to run downstairs and into his arms when I noticed Valerie from across the street heading toward the car. She stood on the far side of the car, leaning into the window, and then finally she headed back into the house as the car drove off.
My heart fell. I was so sure that it was Logan. I closed my eyes, holding back the pain when my mom yelled that it was time for dinner. “I’m coming,” I called back. I looked out the window again, and there was no sign of the car. “You just wanted it to be Logan! He’s not coming back for you! Stop it!” I told myself. I knew I had to go on with my life and I knew that I was happy with Brian. I glanced out the window once more, sighed and then headed downstairs to dinner.
Over the next couple of weeks Brian made it a point to kiss me any time we were alone. “I’m making up for lost time,” he said, kissing me again.
“Brian, I need to breathe,” I laughed, pulling away from him. “So, what do you want to do tonight?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t wise to stay at his house with his parents out of town.
“I’m doing it,” he said, kissing me again.
“Brian, I think we should…” His lips were on mine again. I wasn’t ready for this. I needed him to stop, so I reminded him of his promise, “Brian, you said you would wait for me to be ready,” I said breathlessly.
He pulled back, “You’re right. I’m sorry. You really just don’t make this very easy,” he said, standing up and heading toward the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I need a cold drink. Do you want one?”
“I’m sorry. I promise I won’t make you wait...”
“I said I wanted a cold drink, not a cold shower. You don’t need to be sorry. I will wait Delaney, as long as you need. Forever, if I have to,” he said.
“Forever?” I asked, grinning.
“If I have to,” he said completely serious, then added, “oh, please don’t make we wait forever,” looking like he really was in pain this time.
I stood up and walked over to him. “I just need a little more time, okay? You’ve been very patient with me, I know that. I also know this is very hard for you.”
“In more ways than one,” he said, and then apologized. “I’m sorry; it’s just that you really have no idea what you do to me.”
“I think I do. I want you, too,” I said.
“Then why are we waiting?” he asked with a sigh and lightly stroked my cheek.
“I don’t know. It just has to feel right and be the right time.”
“Okay. You tell me when and I’ll be ready; day or night, anytime!”
I laughed and kissed him this time, exploring his mouth with my tongue. I was breathing hard then, and he pulled away from me. “This is not helping! I think you’re right. I think we need to go somewhere else…less private,” he said, closing his eyes, trying to regain some composure.
“Um, yeah, I agree. Let’s go to my house. My parents will definitely keep us from doing…anything,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Well, that’s true. Come on, let’s go before I go back on my word.”
When we got to my house, I found a note on the fridge.
Delaney,
Dad and I are going to the Larkin’s house for dinner. Seth is spending the night at Jeff’s house. We’ll be home around midnight. Have fun with Brian, but be safe!
Love, Mom
“It looks like there are no suitable Chaperones available tonight,” I said.
“No, I guess not,” he said, giving me a look that said we needed to go somewhere else, right then.
“You want to go to a movie?” I asked.
“Um, okay,” he said, obviously not interested in a movie. But he also knew that it would be too tempting for us to be alone. I knew he would wait as long as I needed him to, but I also knew that it was becoming increasingly more difficult for him whenever we were alone together.
“Okay, I better go get a sweater. The theatre is always so cold.” I headed upstairs and much to my surprise, Brian followed me.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I want to see your room. I’ve never been upstairs.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, you’ve been to the upstairs bathroom, once,” I smiled, laughing at the ridiculous rules my parents had imposed on us.
“That’s only because the downstairs toilet was broken, and the ‘house rules’ were lifted for a moment.”
“They certainly wouldn’t want you to pee outside! What would the neighbors think?” I said, laughing. “Their rules drive me crazy.”
“They just want to protect your virtue,” he grinned.
“Then they shouldn’t have left us alone tonight.”
We walked into my room and he said, “Wow, this is just what I expected.”
I laughed. “That’s exactly what I said when I walked into your room for the first time,” I said, and grabbed a sweater out of my closet.
He was standing right behind me, very close. I knew he had been exhaustingly patient with me. And I really wanted just one kiss before we headed out again, but I wasn’t sure that was such a good idea.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, his breath warm on my neck.
“I’m thinking that we better go now.”
He closed his eyes and stepped back. “Lead the way,” he said, doing his best to keep his promise.
I smiled at his obvious discomfort and said, “Brian, will I make you crazy if I ask for one more kiss before we go?”
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