Don't Feed the Mermaids (The Mermaid Files Book 1)

by Tiana LaGrone

  He rubs his hands together. “Of course I am.” He smiles big.

  I crouch down over the mound. I hold my hands over it, as if that’s going to give me a chance at success, and I recite the words: “Mermaid’s tail must die, and from your bottom half I pry, legs to walk the earth. What I set forth may no one break. Human life is yours to take.”

  Nothing happens.

  “What next?” Collin asks.

  “That’s it. We did everything the spell said. I told you this wasn’t going to work.” I have to admit, I’m sort of relieved.

  Even if what Rasmus says is true, I’m not ready to accept it. Botching my very first sea witch spell makes me feel at ease. I get up from the mound.

  A bolt of light flashes through the water. It hits Collin. His body seizes up and I scream.

  Collin has legs. I see them. Shit! The power obviously tore him down. I swim to him. His eyes are closed, so I check his pulse. He’s alive. I try to swim up with him, by pulling him but he’s too heavy.

  I hold his hands and float with him. Collin startles me when he groans. “Willow?”

  “It worked.”

  Collin grabs at his legs. He starts to move same as me.

  “I thought I was gonener.”

  “So did I,” I say.

  Collin stares at me with his big aquamarine eyes. His white hair flows around his face. I know why I’ve been avoiding him. I’m still hopelessly in love with him.

  We swim back to the wrecked ship. While Collin plays with his new legs and his new junk—both of which are stunning—I study the scrolls. There’s all sorts of useful information in them. Might have come in handy had I been able to use this info on the job. The scrolls contain a list of sea witch strengths, a list of sea witch weakness, along with information on how to capitalize on the former and overcome latter.

  “Should we go up?” I ask Collin.

  “Fuck yeah,” Collin says. He looks like someone who just bought a new car, eager to test-drive the thing on the open road.

  I know the time is slipping away. I have a six o’clock with North. With no phone and no watch, I have no idea if I’ve already missed the dinner. The only way I’ll know is if I head back to my car. So Collin and me are going up.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Collin and I break water. The sun is starting to go down. We swim to shore. The beach is peppered with people. As soon as Collin gets out of the water, people throw him strange looks. I notice a woman who can’t seem to pry her eyes off of Collin’s crotch. I turn and look at Collin myself. I see why. Because I’m still reeling over what happened, I forgot to consider the fact that while I’m wearing a bikini bottom, he is not.

  I grab Collin’s hand and pull him along through the sand until we happen upon a lady who’s face down. Next to her is a stack of towels.

  I snatch one quickly and wrap the towel around Collin’s waist. I tuck it in the right places so the towel will stay snug. No more Collin bits.

  Collin is out of it. His legs are strong, but they wobble a bit as he walks, and a couple of times he even stumbles. I have to help him get his bearings. It takes a bit before we make it to the car.

  As soon as I’m in the car and Collin’s beside me, I hear my cell chime. Three missed calls from North and a few texts asking me where I am, we were supposed to meet for dinner. And a text messages from Casey.

  “Shit!”

  “What’s wrong?” Collin asks, looking out the window. He’s preoccupied with taking in all there is to see. I don’t blame him.

  “I was supposed to meet this guy for dinner.”

  This gets Collin’s attention. “What guy?”

  “Oh,” I say shooing his question off as if it is a fly. “A client. See, I’m starting this private investigation firm with my friend Wolfie, and our first case is basically my last case at the bureau.” I continue babbling on. “The guy is April Villa’s brother.”

  “Oh,” Collin says. “And the two of you are strictly platonic.”

  “Sure, sure, yes, definitely,” I say, omitting the fact that I have been checking out North Villa ass and I know North Villa has been checking out mine too.

  “Good,” Collin says. He’s so possessive. The pilot light on our relationship has only recently just been lit, and who’s to say it’s going to stay on and he’s already acting jealous.

  I tap my steering wheel until a car slows down in my rearview. I see a couple of ladies dressed in bikini tops craning their necks forward. They want to know if I’m leaving so that they can snag my parking spot. I pull out of the spot and head towards home.

  Unfortunately, when I get to my apartment, North is sitting on the ledge of the fountain adjacent to my front door. I glance at Collin. His jaw tightens. I throw the scrolls and new clothes for Collin over my shoulder.

  Collin fiddles with the door. I reach over and show him how it’s done. “So this is your home he,” he says. “And that must be the guy behind us right.”

  “Yeah,” I say.

  North waits until I let Collin inside of the apartment.

  I come back out.

  “What happened to you?” North asks. I’ve been waiting for you for over two hours.

  “I’m sorry,” I say.

  “Who’s this guy you just brought home and why is he only wearing a towel?”

  Collin towers over North. I mean he’s at least five inches taller than North and wider too. “He’s my friend.” I’m not going to give him anymore information than that because Collin is illegal.

  Most people don’t know someone is a turned mermaid until something goes wrong.

  North follows me into my apartment. Suddenly I feel cramped. I can’t leave Collin alone. He’s only just turned, but I do need to make some headway with April Villa’s killer and here North Villa stands.

  “So are you going to help me find my sister’s killer or what?”

  “I am. A lot of shit has been going haywire in my life lately. I lost my brother, my job, and I’ve just found out some weird shit about myself that I didn’t know before.”

  “Like what?” North asks.

  “I’d rather not talk about it. Can we reschedule the dinner?”

  North looks like he’s just bitten into something sour. “I mean, maybe. I’m a busy guy. I’m wondering now if I should only cooperate with the bureau.”

  “Hey,” I say. “Cut me some slack.”

  “How about you cut me some slack? I’ve been around for you for the last couple of days. I’ve rearranged my life to accommodate you.”

  I begin pulling Collin’s new clothes out of the shopping bag. Collin sits on the couch with his legs relaxed open, luckily the towel is long enough to conceal what caught everyone’s attention on the beach. I hand him the clothes. “Hey, put these on,” I say to him.

  “I think I’ll wait,” Collin says. “Until he leaves.”

  “Can I talk to you outside, alone for a minute?” North asks.

  Collin stands up.

  “It’s okay, Collin. I’ll only be a minute,” I say. “Come on let’s go,” I say to North.

  Outside of my apartment, North sighs. “What the hell is going on?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Did the medical examiner say what killed your brother?”

  “Magic. Happened to someone else before. I have to find out do it. It was probably a sea witch.”

  “My sister was strangled. Magic particles were found by the bureau, but that’s all they know. There’s nothing special about someone being strangled by magic. It’s not a type of death deal that can be traced back to one particular person. So how do you know that your brother’s death was caused by a sea witch just because it was magic.”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I guess I just have a hunch.”

  He’s right.

  “My father says the bureau is pretty much set on the idea that your brother killed April. He’s pretty much settled on that. I thought maybe you and me could come up with something that would p
ersuade him to consider otherwise. He wants closure I guess, not only for himself but for my mother so he’s willing to go with the theory that it was your brother who killed my sister since that’s the only concrete theory there is. According to my father, the bureau plans to close the case any day now. My parents will get their funeral for April and the bureau will get their accolades, but April’s killer might still be out there, living their life, going unpunished for their crimes.”

  I pat North’s arm. He jerks back. His eyes narrow, “Willow who is that guy in there?”

  “I told you, he’s an old friend.”

  “An old friend with benefits?”

  “No, no! We used to go out,” I blurt.

  “So he’s your ex?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  Before I can say anything else, North is down the walkway, heading towards the gate. Moments later I heart the sound of his Ferrari speed off.

  I’m not sure how I feel. I mean, nothing actually got started between the North and me, but I wonder if it’s because it really didn’t get the chance or if that there never was a chance for anything.

  Once I’m back in the house, I busy myself in front of the Collin, showing him how to get his legs inside his clothes. He’s cute. He keeps grabbing ahold of me and acting like I’m putting him in a straight jacket or something.

  I hear a crashing sound.

  I look behind me. My patio glass has been blown out. There Amy stands. She holding a stick of some kind. She blows into the stick. An arrow shoots out of the stick and hits Collin right in the neck. He crumples onto the sofa.

  Chapter Twenty

  I sing my song. Amy stops. She tilts her head to the side like a dog does when they’re trying to figure out what you’re saying to them. I continue on. It’s a hum my mother taught me. But then Amy continues toward me. Songs don’t work on her type I guess.

  I keep a gun under the sofa cushion, but Collin’s slumped over on the sofa in an awkward way on account of the arrow. I try to move Collin, but he’s too heavy. Amy grabs me by the hair. My scalp is still sore from my encounter with Chief Goldman. I bite Amy’s arm. It does no good. She’s a golem after all.

  There’s only way to stop a golem. If I could just pry her mouth open and get the piece of paper out of her mouth that commands her, I’ll be able to stop her. But I’m in no position to do it. She has me by the throat. She throws me across the room and I slam into the closet door.

  I scramble to stand up. I hear Collin groan. Whatever it is that Amy hit him with is starting to wear off enough. I run into my bedroom and slam the door shut. I need time to think. I remember my own words, that I don’t need anybody’s help, that I can take care of myself. Funny how I could really use a bit of help right now. The scrolls are in the other room so I can’t even begin to try to use those, even if I the had the scrolls, it’s not like I’d be able to do whatever it is they say on them right now with Amy running around.

  Then I remember, I’ve got another gun. Since I live alone and I know I have enemies, and it’s a big city for goodness sake, I keep an extra gun in my nightstand. I retrieve it. I check the clip. It’s full of silver bullets.

  Amy storms the door and manages to knock the whole thing down. I shoot her. I load her up actually. She falls. She’s seems down for good.

  I catch my breath. As long as I can keep Amy out of the hands of the one who made her, she’ll remain stopped with the bullets. I think what happened earlier was that Amy’s maker came and got her from my trunk. The next move is to remove the slip of paper that commands her from her mouth.

  I tuck my gun in the back of waistband and make my way over to Amy. I hover over her and try to pry her mouth open. It’s locked shut just as it was before when I tried to get her mouth open earlier.

  I was supposed track down my friend Rabbi Spellman today to get her advice. See, she’s a Rabbi of a special ilk.

  I step over Amy’s body and make a mad dash for my cellphone. I’m sure that whoever controls Amy isn’t far behind since they obviously trail Amy when they send her out.

  “Hello? Willow?”

  “Rabbi, I need your help.”

  “I was heading out for a sandwich, but that can wait. Sure, what can I do?”

  My Rabbi friend, Valentina Spellman has a voice as soft as cotton. “I have a golem here, and I can’t seem to get her mouth open. Can you tell me what to do?”

  “Oh man, uh, you need a Rabbi to pray a special prayer over the golem. But I can’t do it over the phone. I have to place my hands on the golem’s body.”

  My heart sinks. “How fast can you get here?”

  Collin move’s a bit. He’s still out of it. “Um, without traffic, it’s going to take me about twenty-five minutes or so.”

  I wonder if it might be smarter to go to Rabbi Spellman instead, but I’ll need Collin’s help with carrying Amy to the car. I look over at the front door. I suck in a breath. And that’s when the door blows open.

  North stands in the doorway. His lovely smile makes it’s appearance again, but his legs dissolve into a pile of tentacles. His tentacles spread and wind as he makes his way towards me.

  I drop the phone. A tentacle of his is around my neck and two others bind my hands before I pull the gun from my waistband.

  My cellphone rings but I can’t answer it. I assume it’s Valentina. I try to say something but I can’t. No notes are coming out of this mouth either. I can’t sing my song anymore.

  North squeezes the tentacle he has around my neck harder. I can’t do anything. I can’t sing or turn my head. I’m losing consciousness I can feel it as the world begins to fade out. North releases my throat before I pass out, but squeezes several of his slimy tentacles around my body like bondage rope. He pulls me close to his face. His skin pulsates like tiny somethings want to tear through his face.

  He hisses. “Ah, got you. You fell for it. His face morphs.”

  It’s none other than an old catch of mine. Valerie’s sister, Kismet, the one who was supposed to be have been executed. I’m confused.

  And North. Was he ever really there? “Kismet, where’s the real North Villa?”

  “Same place you’ll be in a moment, dead. But first, let me tell you a little story.” With a few free tentacles, Kismet pushes the hair out of my face, and I shake my head to avoid them. A couple suckers stick on me. Kismet pulls the tentacles off and the suckers with them. Ouch. It stings.

  “So here’s the story,” Kismet says. “I took North Villa’s life long before I was supposedly caught. The singer deal got a little too hot, so I moved on to actors. North Villa was my first shot in the new venture. Until I ran into his sister. She caught me with my pants down so to speak. So I offed her.”

  “So all this time when I thought I was spending time with North Villa, I was spending time with you?”

  “Yes,” Kismet says. “You’re not as dumb as some think. Well, maybe. You should have figured this all out a long time ago.”

  “How I was I supposed to know that you had someone else to pretend to be you.”

  “Not just someone else. My sister. Valerie. And then I killed your brother, after I made it look like your brother killed April Villa.”

  I realize that sea witch I killed in Tanaka’s shop wasn’t Valerie at all. Well then who was it? “Who did I kill the other day then? If it wasn’t Valerie.”

  Kismet’s eyes widen. “I do not have the sight! No!”

  “What?” I ask.

  “I was born wrong without to sight to see others.”

  I think of my mother’s oracle. If she’s watching me right now, I’m sure she’s horrified. I hope she doesn’t do anything rash. I hope she doesn’t go to Rasmus for legs so that she can try to come save me.

  “Just kill me now and get it over with already,” I say. “I’m tired of your story already.” I yawn.

  “You killed my other sister, Noelle!”

  Sea Witch shit is one hot mess. I didn’t know that Kismet had another sister.

/>   Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Collin. He’s trying to get to me, but he’s much too weak. He falls down again. Whatever was in that arrow was powerful. Maybe it was sea witch ink. That stuff can knock you down.

  “I just gotta ask? Is the golem your too then?” I ask, remembering the story North, or should I say Kismet told me, back at North’s house.

  “Of course she is. I made her.”

  “Way to branch out. I see you’re resourceful. Too bad you got your sisters killed in the name of what ever it is you’re trying to accomplish in life. Mischief. Terrible, terrible mischief is all I can think of.”

  Kismet growls and her tentacles tighten around me. Again the world fades.

  And then it’s lights out for me.

  I open my eyes when I feel the weight of the floor beneath me.

  Collin has a bunch of Kismet’s tentacles in his hand. I war crawl to my bedroom and grab my gun and stumble back to where Kismet and Collin are and I shoot Kismet in the face.

  It takes three rounds to make her go down. I guess she was more powerful than Noelle. And Kismet, which must have been Valerie when we caught, she died quickly during her execution.

  Collin collapses on the floor beside Kismet’s dead body.

  Poor guy. There’s still one sea witch left in this. It’s me.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  After I sing a song loud enough to make the entire apartment forget about Willow’s sea witch show down, Collin and Wolfie help me clean up the mess which includes one dead sea witch and a one dead golem.

  Getting sea witch slime off of the floor can be quite the task. It takes a whole lot of elbow grease.

  I hope one day someone’s not mopping my ass up off of the floor.

  Wolfie saddles up beside me as I finish up my cleaning. He cuts his eyes at me. “Damn, ain’t that some shit?”

  “Tell me about it, bro,” I say.

  “And that white haired fool in there?”

  “He’s my hot date for tonight, Wolfie. Where’s Ginger?”