Jim Rubart Trilogy

by James L. Rubart

  Ann marched over to a pine tree, folded her arms, and leaned her shoulder against it, her back to Cameron.

  "I'm not losing my mind!" Cameron flung his arms wide. "You have no way of understanding what I'm going through. Just because I'm not willing to tell you about all the demons I'm wrestling with, doesn't mean I'm not facing reality. And yes, the book gives me hope in the midst of the nightmare I've lived in since Jessie died—one that I'm living more vividly now than I ever have."

  Ann whirled back to face him, her eyes full of fire.

  "I know. You gave your heart away to Jessie and life stole her from you. So focusing on the book keeps you from the risk of giving your heart away again. Tell me, if you could do it all over again, would you have still loved her? Still swam in the beauty of that relationship?"

  She strode over to him and popped his shoulders with her palms, making him stumble back two paces. "Climbing is life, Cameron. Figure it out. At a certain point you'll have to go beyond climbing 5.10s and risk climbing 5.11s, 12s, 13s. Whether it's with me or someone else."

  "What are you saying?"

  "Brilliant video producer dies because he can't see the picture right in front of him. Film at eleven." She turned and strode toward the car. "You know exactly what I'm saying."

  Two emotions slammed into his heart at the same time. Betrayal, of Jessie; and his growing feelings for Ann. "I'm just not ready to go there with you, with anyone." He rubbed his head with both hands. "I can't—"

  "Won't." Ann turned, strode to the car, yanked the door open, and got in.

  He ground his teeth together. Nightmare. Wondrous. He couldn't tell which emotion was stronger.

  Cameron glanced at Ann as they bumped along the road, his car throwing up clouds of fine brown dust behind him. Was she crying? He couldn't tell with her face turned toward the window. There was no manual in the glove compartment for this kind of problem.

  What could he say? "Uh, I think maybe I could feel the same way about you. In fact I'm sure I do, but you're right about my mind. It feels like microscopic drops of acid are being dropped into my mind burning away my memories. And why would you ever want to be with a guy with that problem? And I'm not over Jessie, but I think maybe kinda sorta want to pursue a relationship with you." No, would not happen.

  After riding in twenty minutes of silence, Cameron said, "I'm sorry, Ann, I—"

  "Forget it. My fault." She turned and gave a big smile that didn't reach her eyes. "We're wrong for each other on so many levels. We couldn't ever be together. But I needed to get what I told you out in the open, but now that it is, I'm truly good. Trust me. You and I as friends is the way it's supposed to be, and it's the way we'll go forward from now on forever and ever, amen."

  "What do you mean we couldn't ever be together?"

  "You know why."

  "Enlighten me."

  "My whole life centers around Jesus."

  "So."

  "Yours doesn't at all. It's not exactly a match made in . . . you know."

  Cameron rapped his fingers against his steering wheel. "It never was a problem for Jessie and me."

  Ann arched an eyebrow and looked at him. "Oh, really?"

  "Yes really. We worked through it."

  "No you didn't. You worked through nothing." Ann pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "You never saw how much it ate at her, knowing she wouldn't see you in heaven."

  "How do you know there is a heaven?"

  "Don't change the subject, Cameron."

  "How can you be so sure heaven is real?"

  Ann's gaze bore into him. "How can you be sure it isn't?"

  They rode the rest of the way in silence. Ann was right. Friends only would work. He'd make that work. For both of their sakes.

  "So are we still on for tomorrow?" Cameron pulled into the parking lot of Ann's hotel and helped her carry her gear to the trunk of her Prius.

  She shut the trunk and smiled. "Sure. I have a little more research to do today, and if I find what I'm looking for, tomorrow I'm going to blow your mind."

  CHAPTER 35

  Cameron sat in the corner of Java Jump Start just before ten on Monday morning, debating whether to order a third latte or go for straight black drip when the bells on the front door jangled. He looked up. Ann. She swept inside, stopped, and glanced to the left then the right.

  When her eyes found him, the corners of her mouth turned up a millimeter. She waltzed toward him, as if she knew without a doubt he'd be sitting there ready to hear what she'd discovered.

  She twirled in a tight circle and, while still two paces away, tossed a bundle of papers toward him, spinning them like a Frisbee.

  "Hey!" Cameron lifted his coffee and leaned back as the package smacked onto the dark walnut table and slid to a stop with a third of the papers hanging off the edge.

  "Time to connect the dots." Ann grinned at him, hands on hips, sunglasses dangling from a cord around her neck.

  "Apparently you're providing the pencil?"

  "I am, and the pencil is a number ten out of ten. I found what I was looking for. And you will like it. A lot." She bounced on the balls of her feet and rubbed her hands together like she was starting a fire.

  He looked back and forth between her and the bundle. "You've found something."

  "More than something." She plunked down into the seat next to him. "Open it."

  He untied the twine holding the papers together and spread three pamphlets and ten or so pages of notes out on the table along with two maps—one of the world and one of the night sky. The world map was marked in seven spots with dots of red ink.

  Leaning back in his chair he took a sip of his coffee and gave Ann a little smile. "We know the seven spots on this map are the only seven spots in the world where I'd find a certain kind of stone."

  "Right."

  He looked from the map of the world, to the map of the night sky, back to the map of the world. "Unbelievable." He rapped his knuckles on his forehead and grinned at Ann.

  "What is?"

  His hands shook as he drew lines between the dots.

  "What's unbelievable?" she repeated.

  He looked up and her eyes told him she already knew the answer. "That I didn't think about doing this earlier."

  After he finished connecting all the dots, Cameron held up the map and studied the pattern.

  "You've already done this exercise, haven't you?"

  "Yes. But I thought you'd like the rush of doing it yourself." She smiled.

  "Now we look for the constellation that matches the pattern of the stones."

  "Go on."

  "And once we figure out which constellation it matches, it gives a major clue as to where we're going to find the Book of Days."

  "Congratulations, Cameron, you've just won the daily double."

  He smiled and compared the pattern to the picture of the night sky. Five minutes later he looked at Ann. "I'm not seeing it."

  She had a smug look on her face.

  "You're already ahead of me on this, aren't you?"

  "Miles."

  "And you've enjoyed the last five minutes of me flaying about, yes?"

  "Immensely."

  "So now that the fun is over, you're going to tell me what you've known for the past twenty-four hours."

  "Past fourteen." Ann slid an acetate drawing of the pattern of the stones and laid it over the map of the night sky. "Do you see the pattern of the stones matching any of the constellations?"

  "No, that's what I'm saying. There's no match."

  "So what's your next guess?"

  "Maybe it's not a constellation. Maybe it's latitude and longitude, maybe—"

  Ann shook her head. "No, I took three astronomy classes in coll
ege, I actually did okay in them and if you—"

  "Great idea. I'm clueless when it comes to astronomy, but I have a friend at UW in the astronomy department. I can e-mail him this pattern. He'll probably get back to me within half a day with the possible constellations this pattern could represent. If he can't give us anything, we'll move on to the latitude-longitude theory." He kept his eyes riveted on the map.

  "Cameron."

  "Because it might even be a combination of constellations we're not seeing."

  "Cameron."

  "Have you tried—?"

  He was interrupted by a rolled-up newspaper hitting him in the head.

  "Ow!"

  "You're making me feel like I'm in a Three Stooges movie. Didn't you hear me? Now be quiet and listen."

  He rolled his eyes.

  "Buddy, you roll your pupils at me again and I'll whack-smack you so hard, you won't remember tomorrow." Ann looked like she was trying to keep the grin off her face but failed.

  Cameron gasped. The exact words Jessie used to use when they were bantering back and forth and she wanted to make a point stick. His stomach roiled. "I have to get out of here for a moment."

  "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing."

  "Where are you going, Cameron?"

  "Be right back."

  He walked down Main Street to the end of the block and stood staring at the summit of Broken Top, feeling like its jagged ridge was a picture of his mind. Maybe his heart as well. A heart in no condition to be opened up to anyone. But Ann was blowing up his steel-enforced walls with everything she said and did. He'd hardly slept last night as he wrestled his emotions for Ann into submission. Until a moment ago they'd laid dormant, but now they swam through his head like a school of maniac dolphins.

  No. It wouldn't happen. He would reconstruct the walls. For Ann's sake. For Jessie's. He drilled his fingers into the back of his neck, trying to massage the ropes of tension into surrender.

  He took two strides back toward Java Jump Start, then did a 360 and clipped back the way he had just come. A few seconds later he turned again. He clenched his jaw and marched toward the coffee shop. There was no debate. The argument was over.

  By the time he got back to Java Jump Start, his walls were back in place and thicker than ever.

  "Are you going to tell me what you know?" he said to Ann as soon as he plopped down beside her.

  He couldn't decipher the look on her face. "Are you going to tell me why you left?"

  "Can we get this thing done?"

  She stared at him for a full ten seconds. "Sure." She scooted her chair closer to the table and leaned in. "No problem."

  "Sorry."

  "For what?"

  "For being . . . for not . . ."

  "Don't worry about it." She tapped the table with her pen. "Let me show you what I think. I was stumped for a while too because I assumed it would be one constellation. But it's more than one; it's a combination just like you guessed. Whoever put this mystery together apparently wants us to work a little harder, but not much. Do you want me to show you, or do you want to take another run at it?"

  "Run." Cameron went back to work and within two minutes had the answer. "It's a combination of Vela and Pyxis."

  "Yes."

  "So now we figure out what these constellations have to do with the areas of the world where the stones are or what it has to do with the legend of the book, and we're on our way to discovering its resting place."

  "Or it leads us to another part of an elaborate goose chase someone has cleverly devised that will never get us to the end of the rainbow."

  "True believer, aren't you?" He smoothed out the map of the night sky. "Since you've had some time to think about this, what are your theories?"

  Ann bobbed her head and smiled slightly. "Three ideas so far. One, of course is what you just said; that the pattern points us to Vela and Pyxis and something about those constellations is a clue. Two, it's a map or pattern you lay over each area where the rocks are found and it guides you somehow. Or three, and the most likely, it's the model of a four-dimensional portal we can build with cereal boxes and a roll of duct tape that will instantly transport us to the nearest Book of Days."

  "Can we stay serious for a moment?"

  Ann crossed a leg underneath her and leaned in. "If you're ready to get serious, I'm more than ready."

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  She waved her hand at the map, the papers, and the table. "Do I really have to convince you this whole thing is a hoax? Don't you know, right here?" Ann tapped his chest.

  Cameron didn't answer.

  "If you're excited about this connect-the-dots exercise because it means we're drilling down to the answers to an elaborate puzzle, great. If you think we're close to exposing a game that's been perpetuated on Three Peaks, fine. But that look in your eyes tells me you really and truly believe the book could exist."

  "It could."

  "How, Cameron?"

  "Are the stones real?"

  "Yes."

  He raised his eyebrows, leaned back in his chair, and flipped open his palms. "Well?"

  "Come on. I can show you evidence Kennedy was shot by seven men or the CIA or the Mafia, depending on what stack of facts I want to haul out. I can prove to you, not in theory but using photos and conversations and hardcore evidence, that we never landed on the moon."

  "And your point is?"

  Ann glared at him.

  "Maybe you're right. But does it really matter? Say it's all faked. You're curious. I'm curious. It means we both want the same thing: to find out where this thing leads. It's a great story either way. And I have to hope this book is genuine."

  "Why?"

  He closed his eyes. "You know why."

  "Why?"

  "Can't you imagine for a moment it's real?"

  "No." She took a sip of Cameron's coffee. "Did you see that movie The Game with Michael Douglas? It involved an elaborate setup that took him all over the globe hunting down clues and putting his brain through a psychological blender. Coincidences and patterns were in place that looked impossible for someone to have set up. Things were real and then they weren't, upside down, right side up."

  "I saw the movie."

  "Did you know it's based on real life? That there really is a 'game' where Mensa-level intellectuals race against each other? It's like a PhD-caliber scavenger hunt sponsored by guys like Bill Gates. Teams of four to six people get clues they have to solve leading them to the next clue. A lot of time the clues are so intricate and choreographed they're like small theatrical productions, with hired actors to pull it off."

  "What are you driving at?"

  "Someone has created an elaborate game out of this Book of Days legend. He's probably waited years for someone to discover it. And we're about to win. But we won't win the chance to see our past or our future. I think the only prize we'll get is the chance to say we figured out the clues and have some mysterious game architect pat us on the back."

  "Taylor Stone's clues."

  Ann nodded. "That's where I'd place my bet."

  "So Taylor is the architect?"

  Ann shrugged and raised her eyebrows.

  "You're saying Taylor traipsed all over the globe planting rare rocks to concoct—?"

  "No, I'm saying he searched until he found something unusual—those rocks—and tied it all together."

  "Why take all the time and energy and money to concoct something like that?"

  "I don't know, Cameron! Maybe he got bored. Let's just follow the bread crumbs. I don't believe—you do—but like you say, it doesn't matter." She grabbed her purse and stood. "Listen, I have to go."

  "Go? Now? You can't go; we need to figure out what the constellations mean. Whe
re do you have to go?"

  "I have a massage appointment. I'll be back in an hour and a half max."

  "Massage? How can you get a massage when we're in the middle of all this?"

  "If I don't work out the kinks after rock climbing, I'm sore for days." Ann flipped her hair and laughed. "Plus massages make me more beautiful."

  "You're already beau— I mean you look fine."

  "Thank you." She smiled.

  "When will you be back?"

  She sniffed out a laugh. "I just told you, in an hour and a half or less."

  He lied and said, "I remember." He mashed his forefinger into his lips. Concentrate. He needed to concentrate better.

  Ann sat back down, a concerned look on her face. "You're right; I do know why it's so important for you to find this book. I nailed it yesterday after the climb, didn't I? I saw it in your face then and I'm seeing it again right now. You truly are losing your mind, aren't you?"

  Cameron held his breath till he had to let it out. "Yes."

  "And the book will heal you?"

  "That's my hope."

  She squeezed his arm. "I'm sorry, Cameron."

  "It's okay."

  Why couldn't he tell her the truth? Okay? No. It wasn't. He didn't want to wind up in an assisted-living facility in two years, ten years, forty years—ever. He wanted a life!

  Ann wove her way up the street around tourists in bad hats worried about nothing more than finding another summer adventure.

  How should she navigate the one she was on with Cameron?

  She'd suspected his mind was slipping more than he'd let on, but she hadn't been around him for an extended amount of time for years and didn't know how the stress of Jessie's passing might have affected his brain.

  No wonder he was so desperate.

  The bells on the spa door jangled as she stepped inside and stopped. "All right, God, I get it. He needs me to help him find this thing—whatever it is—so I'll do it, with everything in me. It doesn't mean I have to believe the book is real."

  As soon as the front door of the coffee shop closed behind Ann, Cameron squeezed his temples, as if the pressure could jump-start the memories deep inside his brain. A soft groan escaped. He was losing it. Come on! Remember!