Lake Hill

by Margareta Osborn

  ‘Lake Grace police station, please?’

  It took only a few seconds to connect to the station, but it was an eternity for a mother seeking her daughter. Finally Harry’s deep, reassuring voice came over the line.

  ‘Harry! It’s Julia Gunn from Lake Hill.’

  ‘I was planning to come see you this arvie,’ he said. ‘Did you find your money? We’ve nailed those buggers up at the caravan park for a few other thefts. They were selling the stuff for money to buy ice.’

  Julia broke in. ‘I need to report a missing person.’

  ‘Crikey. We haven’t had one of those since old Paddy Blake went walkabout in ’93,’ Harry said. ‘I’ll come out to you. Be there shortly.’

  The phone went dead. Julia slowly replaced the handset on the wall. She walked back to Chloe’s room and realised suddenly that Harry wouldn’t consider Chloe was missing if she’d taken all her stuff.

  The room was so bare. There was nothing to mark the fact her daughter had ever been there. Tears welled again and there was no way of stopping them.

  Tyres on the gravel outside had her up and groping for a tissue. She hoped and prayed it was Chloe, coming back to say she’d made a mistake.

  But it wasn’t her daughter. It was Rick. And he was carrying a huge bunch of flowers.

  ‘Isn’t it incredible news about Ernie and Montana?’ he said, voice booming with happiness. ‘Thank God I know who I’m dealing with. Ernie’s great. I love him like a father myself.’ Then he saw her unhappy face. ‘What’s wrong? What’s happened?’

  He dumped the flowers on the table and moved to take her into his arms. She sank against his chest, her body shuddering with the force of her sobs. He held her like she was the most precious thing on earth.

  ‘Julia, honey, what’s wrong?’

  His arms clamped tighter and she could feel his lips on her hair, whispering something, trying to calm her down.

  Finally she found the strength to untangle herself from his hold. ‘It’s Chloe. She’s gone.’

  To her shock, Rick laughed. ‘Hell, you had me worried for a minute.’

  Julia shook her head. ‘You don’t understand.’

  ‘She’ll be right. She’s probably just waltzed off somewhere. When the going gets tough and all that. To tell you the truth –’

  ‘No.’ Julia put her hands out to stop him.

  He tried to take her in his arms again. ‘It’ll be okay, honey, we’ll find you another cook. Hell, the way Montana’s going she’ll be running the whole farm soon, so I’ll come and cook for you myself. Betty made sure I could bake scones and cakes.’

  He laughed again and she cried harder.

  ‘Julia? It’ll be okay. I’ll fix it for you.’

  ‘You can’t fix this, Rick.’

  ‘Of course I can –’

  ‘No, no, no … you don’t understand!’

  She pushed him away and he hesitated, then stepped back, a frown on his face as he saw she was serious.

  ‘What? What don’t I understand?’

  More tyres crunched on the gravel and blue and red lights flashed against the wall. Harry hadn’t hung about. But Julia was focused on the man in front of her. On his rugged features, those beautiful grey eyes. She knew with her next words she would lose him forever. Especially now that she’d lost their daughter a second time.

  She heard heavy footsteps on the verandah and then a light knock at the door. They both ignored the visitor, staring at each other.

  She saw the mistrust return to Rick’s eyes. ‘What don’t I understand, Julia?’

  She took a deep breath. ‘Chloe’s gone.’

  ‘Yes. I understand that. But what’s that got to do with me, with us?’

  ‘Everything.’

  ‘She’s just the cook.’

  ‘She’s also our daughter.’

  There, she’d said it.

  ‘What?’ Rick looked confused.

  ‘Chloe is our daughter,’ she said firmly and clearly.

  Rick half-shook his head, nonplussed. ‘You’re saying that Chloe, your cook, is our daughter? As in you and me?’ He pointed to himself then Julia.

  ‘Yes,’ she said.

  Rick’s stunned gaze swivelled to Harry, who was standing in the doorway.

  The policeman stepped into the room and said gently to Julia, ‘I think you’d better start at the beginning.’

  ‘No!’ said Rick. ‘Why are you saying that kid is my daughter?’

  Julia’s anger rose to consume her whole body. ‘It’s thanks to your mother you don’t know anything about it!’

  ‘What has Elsbeth got to do with this?’ Rick was shouting too now.

  ‘Everything!’

  ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, people.’ Harry stepped between them, his hands raised in a placating gesture. ‘How about we stick to the facts of the case at the moment? You can sort out this other stuff later. Julia, why do you think the kid’s missing?’

  ‘It’s not stuff,’ said Julia, sitting back down with a thump. ‘It’s my life.’

  ‘Right, so you had a child.’ Harry was writing in his notebook, glasses perched on his nose. ‘Then what? How did she end up here however many years later?’

  ‘Twenty,’ said Rick, his voice quiet. ‘She’d have just turned twenty.’ He turned to Julia and his anger burst out again. ‘You knew we had a child together for twenty fucking years and never told me? Fucking hell, Julia! Didn’t you think I had the right to know?’

  Harry frowned. ‘Rick, this attitude isn’t going to get us anywhere. I’m going to have to ask you to settle down or leave. I need to find out why Julia thinks this girl is a missing person and you’re not helping.’

  Rick’s fists clenched and unclenched as he took in long, deep breaths.

  ‘That’s better,’ said Harry. ‘Now sit down and be quiet. You can ask all your questions later. It’s my turn for the minute.’

  Rick found a chair as far from Julia as possible, but where he could still hear the conversation.

  ‘So, tell me why you think this person is missing,’ Harry asked Julia. ‘What’s her name?’

  ‘Chloe,’ said Rick.

  Harry gave him a stern look. ‘I’m talking to Julia.’ He faced her again. ‘Her full name, please, and when you noticed she was missing?’

  ‘Why are you being so official, Harry? You know Chloe as well as I do.’

  The policeman glared at Julia now. ‘I’m here in an official capacity. So we’ll do this my way. Now, her full name and when you noticed she was missing, please?’

  ‘Her name is Chloe Murray.’

  ‘But your surname is Gunn. And wasn’t Rupert’s Clark?’ Rick interjected.

  ‘Yes,’ said Julia. How to explain it all …

  ‘So –’ Rick began.

  ‘You have had your last warning!’ Harry said, sounding formidable. ‘Shut the hell up or leave.’

  Rick slumped back into his chair, his face thunderous.

  ‘Right,’ said Harry, focusing on Julia. ‘When did you notice Chloe Murray was gone?’

  ‘This morning. I went into her bedroom and all her stuff is missing.’

  Harry glanced up from his note-taking. ‘So, she’s taken everything with her, all her clothes, belongings?’

  Julia nodded. ‘All except her bracelet. And a note.’ She pushed both items towards Harry. ‘They were on the kitchen bench.’

  The bluebird bracelet that had linked her to her daughter, to that tiny baby she’d had to leave on Sylvia’s doorstep all those years ago. The words I’m sorry rebounded around her head and she felt sobs welling again.

  Harry examined the note and bracelet. Then he stood. ‘Could you show me her room?’

  Julia nodded and led him out the back to the boxroom. It was empty. And cold. Just like Julia felt now.

  ‘Did she take her bag and her phone? I’m assuming she had a mobile?’

  Julia nodded.

  ‘Keys? Car?’

  ‘She didn’t have a car.’
<
br />   ‘So how’d she get here?’

  ‘To Lake Grace? I don’t really know.’ Julia realised she’d never asked and the girl had never mentioned it.

  ‘To the cafe then?’

  ‘She got a ride from a tradesperson and walked up the drive.’

  ‘How’d she get around?’

  ‘She borrowed my car if she was going to town, and she walked over to the Grange.’

  Harry looked up from his scribbling. ‘What was she doing at the Grange?’

  ‘She worked there,’ said Julia. ‘I told you that last time.’

  Harry’s eyes met hers. ‘Hmmm … I see.’

  ‘You don’t see. You think she’s just left, don’t you?’ The words were out before Julia could stop them. ‘But she can’t have. I’d promised to tell her who her father is on Christmas Day. She desperately wanted to know, so why would she take off before then?’

  Harry didn’t say anything, just walked back into the cafe’s dining room. Julia followed, and saw that Rick was pacing up and down along the picture window. His expression was severe, his body language closed.

  The policeman sat down again and motioned for Julia to do the same. Then he took a deep breath, as if he was going to say something she wouldn’t want to hear.

  ‘Julia, people are allowed to leave for no reason. Chloe is twenty. Unless there’s a legitimate concern for her welfare, something out of the ordinary that doesn’t fit her normal pattern of behaviour, I can’t file a missing person’s report at this stage. Had she said anything at all about leaving?’

  Julia didn’t want to admit it, but finally she nodded.

  ‘Right,’ said Harry. He didn’t sound impressed. ‘How about we try her phone? Have you done that?’

  ‘I don’t know her number,’ she said, mortified.

  ‘What the hell?’ Rick’s voice was as hard as a slap.

  Harry tapped his notepad thoughtfully. Then he said, ‘Tell you what – I’ll head back to the office, make a few calls, have a scratch around and see what I can come up with. You don’t know much about this kid really, do you? How long ago did she arrive?’

  Julia counted back. ‘About six weeks or so?’

  ‘Do you know any of her relatives, friends, associates?’

  ‘The lady I left her with …’ Julia’s voice broke, and she glanced towards Rick before forcing herself to go on. ‘I gave birth to Chloe just after I turned seventeen. I couldn’t keep her – I didn’t have anyone to help me – so I gave her to a lady called Sylvia Murray, a friend and colleague. She passed away some years later, as did Chloe’s best friend, Lauren. Sylvia had a boyfriend, but –’

  Rick exploded again, cutting her off. ‘You gave away a baby? Like, just literally handed it over like a fucking present?’

  ‘I had no choice, Rick!’

  ‘Settle down, Rick,’ said the policeman again. ‘So, Julia. You haven’t seen Chloe for, what,’ he checked his notes, ‘twenty years?’

  Julia nodded.

  ‘Can you remember her mentioning anyone else? Anything we can check out?’

  Julia cast her mind back, realising all over again just how little Chloe had shared of her life. All she could remember was the arguments they’d had about Chloe’s father.

  ‘How about a deal? You tell me who my father is and I’ll keep quiet for a while.’

  ‘Christmas Day. I’ll tell you then. But you need to tell me everything about your childhood. Where you lived, what you’ve been doing since Sylvia died, and how you came to be here.’

  That’s why none of this made any sense! She just knew Chloe wouldn’t have left without finding out about her father.

  ‘Right.’ Harry took her silence to mean no. He hoisted himself to his feet. ‘I’ll put out a broadcast on the local police channels, get the troops to keep a lookout for her. I’ll need a photo. You got one?’

  Julia’s mind went blank. She frantically cast her eyes around, finally landing on the noticeboard behind the counter. Pinned to it was a smallish picture of Ernie and Chloe in the kitchen, both grinning maniacally over the first sponge she’d cooked without it sinking.

  Julia jumped up and grabbed the photograph.

  ‘That’s the only picture you’ve got?’ It was Rick again, disbelieving, sarcastic.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, head held high. ‘I didn’t know she was going to leave!’

  He looked at her with such disgust. She sat down and turned to Harry instead.

  ‘Right, I’ll head off and do a bit of rummaging around,’ the policeman said. ‘The concern I have for you two is whether I can trust you not to kill each other while I’m gone?’

  Julia glanced over at Rick, who was staring out the window again. She wondered how two such extreme emotions – love and hate – could be one step away from each other.

  ‘I’ll go too,’ Rick said, still not looking at Julia. ‘I need to check in on Charlie.’

  ‘No doubt you two will need to talk though?’ Harry said, glancing at Julia with a hard expression.

  Now he hated her too.

  ‘Yes.’ Rick’s voice was strong, firm. ‘But I want to calm down first.’

  Both men moved to the side door.

  Harry was the only one who turned around. ‘I’ll get back to you, Julia, as soon as I can. In the meantime, perhaps ring someone to come and be with you for a while?’ He gave her what he must have thought was a reassuring smile. It came out more like a grimace.

  Finally, Julia was alone. She gazed at the huge bouquet of roses and bright gerberas wilting on a nearby table. Then she sank her head into her hands and wept.

  Chapter 30

  Julia sat there for a long time. Hours probably. Eventually, when it seemed she had no more tears left inside her, she wandered outside to the seat that looked across Lake Grace. The water was mesmerising as usual. A grey colour now, thanks to the clouds hiding the sun, its surface rippling under a light breeze. Beyond, soaring mountains reached for the sky. Everything was as it should be, yet her heart felt like a stormy sea. She purposely avoided looking towards the dot in the water that was Rick’s island.

  After a time, she drifted back inside. Glancing at the clock, she realised most of the day had passed. She sat down again and picked up the little bluebird bracelet, wishing she could turn into a bird herself and take flight from this whole mess.

  A figure appeared in the window, wearing an emerald workshirt, jeans and cowboy boots. Rick. He was back.

  She shrank into the chair. What was he going to say to her? She felt such shame: about what she’d done to her baby in the past; and whatever it was she had done now to drive her daughter away.

  At her first glance, she thought Rick looked years older. The lines around his eyes were deep crevices, his skin was grey with despair.

  He sat down just inside the room and said quietly, ‘Tell me everything.’

  She took a deep breath and placed her hands on the table to steady herself. She owed him this.

  ‘That night on the beach, and the week we had after, I was only sixteen. Not eighteen like I told you.’

  She heard his intake of breath. Peeking from under her lashes, she could see he was scrutinising his hands.

  ‘We left Lakes Entrance like I told you – Mr Norten ran my father out of town. It all happened so fast I had no chance to tell you, and I didn’t know how to leave you a message.’

  She paused, feeling the pain of that time all over again. Then pushed on.

  ‘I found out I was pregnant soon after. As you may recall, my father was a religious fanatic. He was physically violent, mentally abusive. He couldn’t abide that his daughter was going to be an unmarried mother. He flogged me so badly I feared for my baby’s life. I ran away from home and went to stay with a woman I’d met. Her name was Sylvia Murray.’

  ‘You just left our daughter with someone else. How? Why?’ Rick’s voice was ragged.

  ‘I was seventeen, Rick! I had no money, no family support. I was terrified. My mother wouldn’t h
ave helped me. There were so many years of harassment and abuse. I thought I was doing the right thing.’

  ‘Well, that really worked out well,’ he said sarcastically. ‘Why didn’t you come to me?’

  She looked away. ‘We tried.’

  ‘Who tried?’

  This was so hard. She didn’t want him to be hurt any more than he already was.

  ‘Who tried, Julia?’

  ‘We … that is, my parents and I …’ She could barely get the words out. ‘We … we visited Elsbeth.’

  ‘My mother?’ His voice was so hostile.

  ‘Yes, your mother.’ She was starting to feel angry too now. ‘In Melbourne, in a hotel. We told her about the baby, but she didn’t believe us. Said we were lying, that you’d gone to Canada and wouldn’t be coming back … She had us kicked out.’

  She glared at him, daring him not to believe her. But he’d turned his head to stare vacantly at the lake. It was shimmering like a mirror now the sun had come out, reflecting its beauty back at itself.

  The silence went on, until she couldn’t bear it any longer.

  ‘Can’t you see, Rick? I was traumatised. I didn’t know what else to do.’ She knew she was begging but couldn’t help it.

  More silence. Then, ‘Go on. What happened next?’

  ‘My parents wanted me to give the baby up for adoption, but I didn’t want her going to some random stranger.’

  ‘Hardly random,’ he scoffed. ‘They vet the parents. The checks are exhaustive.’

  ‘I thought I knew better,’ she said, feeling all the weight and arrogance of that decision now. ‘I discharged myself from the hospital early and took Chloe to Sylvia’s house. I left her on the front porch, then rang Sylvia to tell her the baby was there.’

  ‘You left our baby on someone’s doorstep?’ He was staring at her in horror.

  ‘I was watching her every minute, Rick, I promise.’ She tried to explain. ‘I thought I had it all worked out. Sylvia wanted a baby, and I had a baby –’

  ‘Which you clearly didn’t want.’

  His statement was shocking, and she shuddered that he thought that of her.

  ‘I did want her. I wanted her more desperately than you can ever imagine. But in my stupidity, I thought I was doing the right thing – for both of us.’