How to Play Dead
Page 29
Finally, we reach the doorway to the new section of the building. Everyone is cheering and Adele pushes me forwards gently as someone hands me a pair of scissors. I stand back and look at the now-huge crowd gathered outside. At the women in the windows, waiting for their freedom. I think about Alice and what she has endured, and about every woman and man who has used SafeMe over the years.
At the back of the crowd I see a black limo, the back window slightly lowered. I turn and snip the cord in front of me and the plastic sheet falls away from the newly erected sign that fills the side of the building.
The Sheila James Family Centre
The logo is a blue bunny rabbit, and Janice and Sally are handing out blue rabbits, just like Bobby’s, and blue rabbit pin badges, as a huge blue rabbit balloon suddenly appears above the building. Adele laughs.
‘Well done, Ria. This will make a real difference.’
I look through the crowd and the black limo pulls away. I nod. No one will ever forget Sheila now.
‘Yes. It will. It already has.’
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank everyone at Corvus Atlantic Books, particularly my editor Sara O’Keeffe for her insight, and Susannah Hamilton and Poppy Mostyn-Owen for their guidance. Also, Kirsty Doole and Jamie Forrest for their publicity and marketing superpowers, and the whole team for their help.
I cannot thank my friend and agent Judith Murray enough for her guidance, advice and patience. None of this would be possible without her and I am eternally grateful. Thank you to everyone at Greene & Heaton for your dedication and help.
I want to thank my fellow writers for the opportunity to try out stories and learn from their experiences. Special thanks to Anstey Harris who has listened endlessly to me over the years. I cannot list you all here, but you know who you are.
In writing this book, much of the research came from talking to survivors of domestic abuse and their families. I want to thank every survivor, and every member of a family who has survived, for their bravery at speaking out. This story is not about you, but hopefully contains an understanding of what you have been through.
Thank you to Refuge and Women’s Aid and to those people who work in refuges, in outreach and in independent living, making the journey back from domestic abuse more bearable. Again, this story is not about any one of you but hopefully I have captured your spirit.
Funding for domestic abuse services has fallen sharply in the past five years. Funding cuts have hit at the heart of women’s and men’s safety and austerity has made it almost impossible to provide enough specialist services for people suffering domestic abuse. Police funding has also been cut making it even more difficult to prosecute perpetrators. I want to thank everyone who is still fighting to reinstate this funding and services and shame on those who took it away in the first place knowing that it will cost lives. My hope is that this story highlights the complexities of domestic abuse and helps in some small way to keep people safe and form support networks.
Thank you to my friends who listened to me as I talked the story through. To my children and my grandchildren who I love very much. To my brothers who never doubted that writing was a life for me.
As always, biggest thanks to my partner Eric for his love, support, patience and for making me laugh endlessly. I couldn’t have done this without you, love.
Book Club Questions
What emotions did the ending evoke? Was anyone brought to justice? (Please feel free to let me know via Twitter, Facebook or Instagram #HowToPlayDead)
The story of How to Play Dead revolves around Ria and her strength. Did you feel that Ria had any weaknesses?
Did you think Ria and Danny had a strong relationship? Why could she not tell him what was happening?
After reading the story, what does the title ‘How to Play Dead’ mean to you?
The story is set in a women’s refuge. Is this how you visualised a safe place for women? Has your view of women’s refuges changed?
The female characters in the story are all very different people but have a lot in common. Do you think that their suffering unites them, or divides them?
The women in the story have all been affected in some way by abusive behaviour, either personally or vicariously. Do you think they are survivors? How have their lives changed?
Ria’s parents made mistakes. How much did that influence her life and her decisions? How does it affect her relationships? How does it influence her own parenting?
The early incidents in Ria and Alice’s life with Alan take place in the 1980s. They were fifteen and he was twenty-five when they met. Do you think this kind of behaviour was more acceptable then? Why did Dougie and Dawn allow it?
Did you believe that Ria did not initially associate Alan with the messages? Would you associate something that happens today with events long ago?
When Ria was attacked, why did she not report it to the police? Why did Tanya, Sheila and Sally not report all their abuse? What does this say about domestic abuse in general?
Tanya was able to leave work at lunchtime. The door to their home was not locked. Why did Tanya not leave Al?
When did the turning point come for Tanya when she realised that she was trapped?
Some of the men in the story are perpetrators, but not all. Did you think that the balance reflected real life? If not, did you believe that the extra insight gained by the reader from looking inside a women’s refuge gave a more realistic picture of perpetrators that is usually hidden from view?
Sheila was an older woman who had been married to Frank for a long time. Did this make his treatment of her more – or less – acceptable? Did his social status affect your view?
Did Sheila’s fate shock you? Two women per week in England are killed by a partner or ex-partner. After reading How to Play Dead did you believe these statistics more?
Donelle complained to Ria that her boyfriend was both attentive and difficult. Why do you think she continued with the relationship?
‘Dickpics’ or cyber-flashing has been normalised by the media reporting that it is a common occurrence. Is it really sexual harassment? Or is it something people can just ignore? Is it stalking?
The violent and abusive men are all referred to as perpetrators throughout the book. The police repeatedly state that they can’t investigate without knowing who Ria’s stalker is. Alan is both a stalker and a domestic abuse perpetrator. Are they really the same thing, or does society separate them out according to whether the victim is known to them or not?
How has this story made you feel about domestic abuse and its criminality?
Helplines and advice
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, domestic violence or gaslighting, or anything in this book has affected you, please call one of the helplines below. Domestic abuse is a crime. If you are in immediate danger always call the police, and always dial 999 if it is an emergency. They have a duty to protect and help you.
24hr Domestic Violence Helpline – run in partnership between Refuge and Women’s Aid. Freephone: 0808 2000 247 (24 hours)
Refuge – refuge.org.uk
Women’s Aid Federation of England – womensaid.org.uk
The Hideout – website for children and young people witnessing domestic violence. thehideout.org.uk
CRUSH – CRUSH is a structured programme of group support and empowerment for young people in the age range of 13 to 19. 0800 014 9084
Love Don’t Feel Bad – aimed at 16 to 25-year olds, Love Don’t Feel Bad explores what is and isn’t a healthy relationship. lovedontfeelbad.co.uk
Scottish Women’s Aid – 0800 027 1234 scottishwomensaid.org.uk
Northern Ireland Women’s Aid Federation – 24hr Domestic and Sexual Violence Helpline: 0808 802 1414 niwaf.org
Broken Rainbow – National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans (LGBT) Domestic Violence Helpline. Freephone: 0800 999 5428 brokenrainbow.org.uk
FCO Forced Marriage Unit – Helpline: 020 7008 0151 (o
r 0044 20 7008 0151 if you are overseas) fco.gov.uk
Honour Network – Karma Nirvana – Helpline: 0800 599 9247 karmanirvana.org.uk
ManKind – Helpline: 01823 334244 mankind.org.uk
Men’s Aid – Helpline: 0871 223 9986 (8am to 8pm daily) mensaid.co.uk
Abused Men in Scotland (Mon-Fri 9-4) – Helpline: 0800 800 0024 abusedmeninscotland.org
The Dyn Project – Helpline: 0808 801 0321 dynwales.org
Table of Contents
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Chapter One: Day 29
Chapter Two: Day 28
Chapter Three: Day 27
Chapter Four: Day 26
Chapter Five: Day 25 Tanya: Diary Entry: Saturday
Chapter Six: Day 24 Tanya: Diary Entry: Sunday
Chapter Seven: Day 23 Tanya: Diary Entry: Monday
Chapter Eight: Day 22 Tanya: Diary Entry: Tuesday
Chapter Nine: Day 21 Tanya: Diary Entry: Wednesday
Chapter Ten: Day 20 Tanya: Diary Entry: Thursday
Chapter Eleven: Day 19 Tanya: Diary Entry: Friday
Chapter Twelve: Day 18 Tanya: Diary Entry: Saturday
Chapter Thirteen: Day 17 Tanya: Diary Entry: Sunday
Chapter Fourteen: Day 16 Tanya: Diary Entry: Monday
Chapter Fifteen: Day 15 Tanya: Diary Entry: Tuesday
Chapter Sixteen: Day 14 Tanya: Diary Entry: Wednesday
Chapter Seventeen: Day 13 Tanya: Diary Entry: Thursday
Chapter Eighteen: Day 12 Tanya: Diary Entry: Friday
Chapter Nineteen: Day 11 Tanya: Diary Entry: Saturday
Chapter Twenty: Day 10 Tanya: Diary Entry: Sunday
Chapter Twenty-one: Day 9 Tanya: Diary Entry: Monday
Chapter Twenty-two: Day 8 Tanya: Diary Entry: Tuesday
Chapter Twenty-three: Day 7 Tanya: Diary Entry: Wednesday
Chapter Twenty-four: Day 6 Tanya: Diary Entry: Thursday
Chapter Twenty-five: Day 5 Tanya: Diary Entry: Friday
Chapter Twenty-six: Day 4 Tanya: Diary Entry: Saturday
Chapter Twenty-seven: Day 3 Tanya: Diary Entry: Sunday
Chapter Twenty-eight: Day 2
Chapter Twenty-nine: Day 1
Chapter Thirty: Three weeks later
Acknowledgements
Book Club Questions
Helplines and advice