How About a Sin Tonight?

by Novoneel Chakraborty

  ‘Shut up. I didn’t leak any video.’

  ‘Positions everyone,’ they heard Fanny say. ‘Shahraan sweetheart, just maintain your intensity and the pelvic thrust should be more fun. Reva darling, sizzle the way you usually do. Muah. Let’s rock!’

  As the dance started with full gusto, they came close for once and Shahraan managed to whisper in her ear, ‘Half of what you are is because of me. Don’t you ever forget that.’ As he held onto her shoulder and Fanny shouted ‘seven-eight-nine thrust,’ Reva shrugged off Shahraan’s hand as if it was an unwanted touch. The entire rhythm broke.

  ‘Cut it!’ Fanny noticed it first. Everyone gaped at Reva with a collective what’s-wrong-with-you look, as she walked off rubbing the clandestine tears off her cheeks. The music came to an abrupt halt.

  Fuck you guys, Fanny thought. ‘Tea break,’ he said aloud.

  Inside Shahraan’s vanity van, Nitu Sridhar, his publicist met him.

  ‘I think,’ Nitu began in her usual confident self, ‘It was good we didn’t respond for a few days. Now let’s click some photos of you and Reva together. Perhaps cuddling or kissing or walking hand in hand. I’ll build a counter thesis to what’s going on in the media. People always love to move on. Enough of you guys fighting. What’s next? Next would be the much talked about couple of the tinsel town realizing their true love. People will forget the slap issue like this.’ She snapped her fingers. ‘Moreover, we’ll also have ATM’s interview where he’ll state the slap was part of the script. And the leak was sabotage. If Reva can also confirm it, then the domestic violence case against you also gets nullified.’

  ‘I was thinking along the same lines. Perhaps Reva can put up pictures on her social networking account as well,’ said Shahraan and looking at an acknowledging expression on Nitu’s face added, ‘Let’s do it.’

  ‘Now?’ Vikrant, whom Shahraan had asked to be present, sounded appalled. For him, any publicity was good unless it affected the film schedule.

  ‘The shooting won’t be stalled. Take my words for it. A few casual pictures and we’ll be done.’

  ‘Very casual,’ Nitu chipped in. Shahraan stretched his hand and Krishna dutifully placed his Blackberry on his palm.

  Need to click some pictures. Let’s be professional. Shahraan sent the message to Reva who was alone in her van adjacent to his. There was a prompt response.

  Professional about our personal life?

  Come to my van ASAP.

  A couple of minutes later, Reva was sitting beside him. Arijit and Bijoy were also summoned inside the van to capture a few candid moments between the two.

  Arijit asked them to come close and look at each other with a normal smile. It was difficult at first, but then they were actors. He smiled. And she desperately wished nothing had gone wrong between the two. When he clasped her hands, she knew this was only a temporary crisis they were in. She clasped his hand tighter. Arijit asked her to kiss him on the cheek. She did so. And it struck her so many days had gone by without intimacy. She felt his stubble with her tongue for no particular reason. As they relaxed, Shahraan rubbed his cheeks. They exchanged a glance. He wanted to forgive her and start afresh. Arijit asked him to take her hand and kiss it looking at her. He did so. The way his lips touched her hand, it seemed like an application for an apology to her. He never wanted to hit her, but he also knew a verbal apology wasn’t possible for him; call it male chauvinism or whatever. She looked at him and smiled back; something about the smile brought back memories of him driving his four-wheeler acting school with Mehfil sitting behind. In the last two years, whatever he felt with her, somehow he knew he would have felt the same with Mehfil even though the two women were fundamentally different. Or was it that he was indeed ageing? A lonely life at forty-six can be a good proposition for life to trick someone in ways more than he could anticipate.

  ‘Fantastic,’ said Arijit as he clicked them yet again.

  ‘Shahraan,’ said Nitu, ‘Krishna said later tonight you are scheduled to attend Minister Damodar Shankar’s son’s wedding.’

  Shahraan glanced at Krishna who nodded at Nitu.

  ‘Reva and you should go there together. The more you two are seen together in public, the better.’

  Shahraan instinctively glanced at Reva to find her staring at him. Whatever feelings she had on her face seemed enveloped, but he knew those were things which were meant for him and only him.

  ‘We can do that.’

  ‘Hold it,’ exclaimed Arijit and framed Shahraan. As the latter remained still for the sake of the photograph, his eyes fell on Bijoy who was looking from behind his back holding onto a few lenses.

  ‘One minute,’ Shahraan frowned looking at Bijoy. ‘Wasn’t he there during the shoot?’ Shahraan stood up. The suddenness of it took everyone by surprise. Krishna was the first one to get the cue.

  ‘Arijit sir, you too had those pictures. Right?’ Krishna asked.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ Arijit responded, ‘But nothing has ever leaked from my office. I trust Bijoy completely.’

  Everyone looked at Bijoy whose hands holding the camera lens were shaking in a funny manner.

  Fifteen minutes later, Bijoy was fired by Arijit. How would I know those copies would be circulated in the internet like some epidemic and not be posted in newspapers as I inferred from the asshole Manoj Shreshtha’s talks? And how would I know the guy didn’t exist! Bijoy thought. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he started his Activa from the parking lot. Everything looked blurred around him. Then he saw something. He rubbed his eyes and stared at the maroon-coloured Tavera on the other side. It had a ‘middle finger’ sticker on its back. It could be a coincidence but… Bijoy shouted at the car parking staff inquiring about the car’s owner.

  ‘It’s Neev Sir’s car,’ said the parking staff.

  That took care of the coincidence for Bijoy. He let go of his Activa and ran inside the studio. It was his best chance to save his job.

  Neev was shooting on another set in the same studio for the promo of his new television series which was scheduled to go on floor in a week. Krishna waited till the particular shot was over. As the production people scattered setting up the next shot, Krishna approached Neev. His face read only one thing: contempt.

  ‘Shahraan Sir wants to meet you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Now.’

  ‘As you can see, I’m busy right now. I shall be there when I’m done.’

  ‘I’ve had a talk with the production. It will only take five minutes. Not more.’

  Had Krishna not been Shahraan’s secretary, Neev would have punched him straight in his vocal cord and taken care of the condescending tone that Krishna could so boisterously afford to come out with before him.

  ‘What is it about?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  While walking off the television set, he heard him report to Shahraan over the phone that he was coming. Why was he made to feel like a fugitive all of a sudden?

  Only Shahraan and Reva were inside the van apart from Bijoy who was staring at the floor, standing in a corner like a convict. Shahraan gave Reva a curt glance and said, ‘I want to talk to him alone.’ He said it conclusively.

  Reva was too dumbstruck to even consider that Neev went to the disgusting length of first buying the photographs and then turning them into some kind of video and then floating it on the internet. And what was that bullshit about togetherness he was talking about on the phone the other day? she wondered.

  ‘I’ll stay right here. The video involves me too.’ She was surprised she could still speak with confidence. Shahraan’s silence confirmed her wish. The next minute, Neev stepped into the van. Krishna preferred to remain outside. That switched on Reva’s panic button. When Krishna leaves Shahraan alone, it usually isn’t a good sign.

  ‘Hey big boss, how are you?’ Neev greeted Shahraan exhibiting his fake beaming face to utmost sincerity. Shahraan didn’t care to stand up from his chair. It was Neev who took his hands and mana
ged to shake them with his.

  ‘Where were you this Tuesday around three in the afternoon?’ Neev heard Shahraan’s query.

  ‘What is this about?’

  ‘Just answer him, Neev,’ Reva chipped in. ‘Please,’ she added.

  ‘I was driving back home from the gym. Why?’

  ‘When did you meet him?’ Shahraan only glanced at Bijoy once. Though Neev had registered his presence while entering the van, he didn’t think he was important.

  ‘Who is this guy?’

  Shahraan averted his eyes from Neev to Bijoy and the latter spoke up. ‘I was the one by the city mall bus stop.’

  Neva looked genuinely confused.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘I gave the kid the pen drive who went to your car to deliver it.’

  ‘Kid? Car? Are you drunk or something?’ Neev almost barked out at Bijoy. The latter again stared at the floor.

  ‘Someone had bought the slap photographs from Bijoy on Tuesday around the time when you said you were driving back home in your car. He identified the middle-finger sticker on your car by the studio parking.’

  ‘There are so many cars with that sticker. I am sure he is mistaken.’

  ‘Yes, but none of those cars, I am sure, belong to someone who is related to us in some way,’ said Reva. Though she appreciated the different Neev the other day on phone, but with him she also knew one thing: you never know!

  ‘What? You too think I pulled off this garbage? C’mon! Why would I do it?’

  ‘I assume—and rightly so—you didn’t take your break up with Reva in the right spirit,’ Shahraan remarked.

  ‘You knew it would put Shahraan and my relationship under strain.’ Reva didn’t want to say it, but she did. It turned her husband’s accusation against Neev sound all the more true. When it came to the kill, she chose what was best for her.

  ‘Did you see me?’ Neev could have killed Bijoy with his stare.

  ‘I didn’t.’

  ‘Then? Just because an asshole saw a Tavera and not me means I was in it? Moreover—’ Neev paused as if something struck him and then added, ‘Alright. You want proof it wasn’t me? Here you go.’ He took out his HTC and dialled Nishani. He put her on speaker. She picked up after four rings.

  ‘Hey baby.’ She sounded groggy.

  ‘Tell me you remember I’d taken your car this Tuesday instead of mine.’

  There was a pause as the three pairs of eyes in the van looked at each other with anticipation.

  ‘I was at home all day on Tuesday. If you are saying you took my car, then you would have. But why do you ask?’

  Neev cut the line without another word.

  ‘So you don’t have any alibi to where you were during that time. And we have someone who we think saw your car and dealt with you,’ said Shahraan as a matter of fact. ‘Tomorrow morning,’ he continued, ‘I’ll call a press conference where you’ll accept two things: one, the slap was part of the script; and two, you leaked the video on the internet. I don’t care what reason you state for the same. And you’ll do so if you want to work in the industry. I hope you won’t test me on this.’

  ‘Accept what? I have not done anything.’ Neev’s anger and sheer frustration of not being able to make two adults understand one simple thing made him stand up. It was an aggressive stance. He moistened his lips and turned to Reva. ‘Now please don’t deny I was talking to you that day while driving precisely during that time. How can I talk to you as well as buy the photographs and do all this shit. I am not a robot.’

  That was the real reason why Reva decided to stay in the van. She didn’t want the discussion to take the course which would expose her vulnerability towards Neev.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Reva responded, wondering if her lie was convincing enough.

  Neev simply stood there, wide mouthed and hands on his hips, with an expression tantamount to the man who worked hard at seducing a girl in the pub only to realize she was a he in the end.

  ‘See Shahraan Sir, Neev sir said he was driving the car.’

  Neev gave Bijoy a loathsome glance.

  ‘Bijoy, move out,’ said Shahraan. Bijoy scampered out the way school kids empty a classroom after the last period of the day.

  ‘What is he saying?’ Shahraan still maintained his poise.

  ‘I don’t know.’ Fear shook Reva. She had long back promised Shahraan that she’d have no contact with Neev whatsoever. A man, when he becomes a husband, somehow tends to believe his wife’s past is his own even if he wasn’t there in her life back then.

  ‘You don’t know? Wow! I have a feeling this one is a deliberate attempt by you two to frame me.’ Neev faced Shahraan now and said, ‘You want to call a press conference? I’m okay with it. I won’t apologize there. I shall tell everyone how desperately your legally wedded wife wants to talk to me during the night without your knowledge. Now if you two have played enough of your shit games, then please excuse me.’ Neev left in a furious state.

  Whatever proximity took place between them during the candid photo shoot had been wasted within a span of a few minutes. Shahraan leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes. In the short silence that followed, Shahraan realized it wasn’t Mehfil, it wasn’t Reva, and it wasn’t him as well. It was love that took advantage of his life; once when he was a simple boy with a big complex dream and later when he was a complex man with a simple, well-defined desire.

  ‘Let’s talk, Reva, before we decide not to listen to each other ever.’ Shahraan spoke with a sense of profound calmness.

  Being dumb about stating the truth in all its nakedness was her favourite sin for which only repentance was possible, not redemption. Reva walked out without saying a word.

  Sitting in her van a minute later, she messaged an apology to Neev. That was all a sinner could do. Apologize all her life! To the world, to oneself, till a time came when the apology becomes a promise for further apologies.

  Nishani was sitting up against the wall on a strawberrycoloured furry floor mat in the flat that she shared with Neev, while he lay stretched in front of her with his head on her lap. Every time he lifted his head, she helped him drink some of the blended scotch. Her ears were oblivious to the constant abuses Neev was showering on Reva.

  ‘I was there for her even after she’d thrown me away like a paper napkin. And still she lied to my face. She is the queen of all bitches.’

  And you are a born fool, Nishani thought. She was neither concerned about Neev’s condition nor about Reva’s plight. She was running for a bigger mission and that was in danger. Yet again. She had to stop Shahraan from having the press conference he promised Neev, else the whole Shahraan’semotional-debacle dish would remain half cooked. All she had to do was scratch the wound Shahraan’s and Reva’s relationship suffered in the evening.

  ‘Neev, was Shahraan really serious about the press conference?’

  The bathroom suite attached to the master bedroom at Mehfil Mansion was a sprawling space where relaxation happened naturally. There was a bathtub, a jacuzzi, and a shower cabinet—all at some distance from the other. Reva was inside the bathtub. That was the only place these days where she thought she could let her emotional guard down. She didn’t want peace anymore. It was a spiritual justice she was after. She heard the bathroom door open. A turn of head told her Shahraan had come inside dressed in a bathrobe.

  ‘Sorry, I thought it was empty,’ he said and half turned to leave. The combination for the number lock of the bathroom was only known to the two of them. Either could come in anytime.

  ‘I don’t mind,’ Reva clarified. Shahraan’s hand played with the knob as his mind toyed with a decision. He locked the door and came inside. Reva watched him take off his bathrobe and enter the shower cabinet. Soon, cold water was cascading down his well-chiselled nude body. Reva thought Shahraan Ali Bakshi showering nude in front of her was definitely a dream. She being his wife was a bigger dream. And she carrying his baby in her womb was the b
iggest dream of all.

  Right after the shoot, she’d gone to Dr Shashtri because she’d missed her period and it was he who gave her the good news. It’d been so long since she had something genuine to smile about that for a moment she didn’t know how to react.

  Kaash had locked himself in his flat for the last two days. No light, no air, no connection to the outside world. It was his way of preparing himself for an important role. He’d picked up the practice from his first film itself. But every time he thought he got the scene alright, it gave him the creeps. The nude scene with Reva could have been spicy for others, but for him it was just another scene without any emotional connect. He pushed her into committing the real act because he felt like it and he knew she would comply. They always kept it at an animalistic level; from depravity to decadence to delight. But this particular scene was about making love with his wife played by Nishani. The thought of being with her in one bed sheet simply didn’t let him stay in the character since it wasn’t about sexual attraction anymore. It was about an emotional attachment. He didn’t want to flash even a meagre amount of his inner vulnerability to Nishani lest he gets caught red handed. He feared his feelings may be granted a voice in that case. And it’s feelings with a voice that never allow anyone to be the way they always were. He believed that as people evolve, their voices only become menacing in nature. He wondered why he couldn’t simply go to her and tell her he loved her? It was so damn simple. But he couldn’t do it. He picked up his mobile phone from his bed, switched it on, and called Arunodaye. He would request him to chop the scene.

  ‘What else am I telling you?’ Neev chided. ‘They want me to apologize and announce it was I who’d leaked the video in the internet. I am fucked both ways.’

  ‘But you could have shown Shahraan the missed calls Reva gave you that night. He wouldn’t have been sympathetic towards her.’

  ‘What do I care how is he to her? If he kicks her out, I’m not going to shelter her. Not anymore!’

  ‘But don’t you want the girl who brought you to such misery get some too?’