How About a Sin Tonight?
Page 26
Love is always worth it. By choosing someone over the other, we are trying to answer for ourselves throughout life. Of course we commit mistakes too, but what’s the use in repenting? If it was not because of my sin of trying to live with Mehfil by being with Reva, then how would I have defined myself? Wrong people happen to us so that we can define ourselves. Right people happen when someone else needs to be defined by us.
I have booked connecting flights for the next three months. I don’t want to touch earth before my baby is born. I want to fly constantly, even if it makes me sick. I want to stay among the clouds, the sun, the stars, and the moon. I can’t feel my stardom here. I don’t want to. I can see only one person among these celestial creations…
I love you, Mehfil.
She is not sure of the place, but she likes it. There’s no sky, since everything beyond a point looks pearly white. She can hear a running stream of water, birds chirping, someone worshipping somewhere, but she doesn’t see them. She can only see her papa on whose lap she has her head. As he caresses her head…
NISHANI FEELS
The most important thing which life didn’t allow me to have; death did. I’m thankful to Shahraan for that.
Funny, I tell papa, we remain so much committed to the memory of certain relationships that happens only in our heart, that he forget the ones which happen for real. By hating Shahraan, I had not allowed myself those relationships which would have altered this end of mine. But for you, papa, I don’t mind it, for otherwise, I would have craved for you like repentance craves for redemption; here, there, and everywhere. But tell me, papa, was I a bad person when I had life in me?
If you are dressed, people judge you on the basis of your dress. If you are naked, people judge you on the basis of your genitals. Bottom line: people will judge you no matter what you do; good, bad, or ugly, he tells me.
Before, it was only amid the silence between two heartbeats that I used to hear the sound of your presence, I tell papa, but now that death has taken care of those silly heartbeats, it’s you for real.
Forget life, now that you are in a better place, he says. And the best lap, I add. He is right though. I forgive Shahraan. I forgive Neev. I even forgive myself.
I don’t care what others think, but for me, there couldn’t have been a happier ending: me looking into my papa’s eyes and saying…
I love you.
The End
‘Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.’
—Nothing Gold Can Stay, Robert Frost
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A lot has happened in my life since my last novel came out. And I’m sure I wouldn’t have finished this particular book had it not been for the unconditional support of certain people and their unwavering presence in my life.
A warm heartfelt THANK YOU to:
My late grandfather—wherever you are, I hope I’m living up to your expectation with my storytelling.
My parents—for strengthening my soul by having faith in my faith and never, even for once, questioning it.
My sister, brother-in-law, and her in-laws—for being a constant source of inspiration.
Mr Arvind K. Rastogi and Mrs Anjana Rastogi—for your love and understanding.
Rajendra A. Pimple, Sanjeevni R. Pimple, and Alesha R. Pimpale—for your invaluable love, care, and support.
Arindam Dey and Rahul Saini—for just being there. At times, that’s all one needs.
My readers and friends from the real and virtual world—for appreciating my work and encouraging me all the time. I have learnt so much from each one of you.
Milee Ashwarya, Gurveen Chadha, and the team at Random House, India—for their indispensable support in shaping up the book in the best possible way.
Lastly, the city of Mumbai—for instigating dreams in ordinary hearts and thereby making them extraordinary.
A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR
Novoneel Chakraborty is the author of two popular novels: A Thing Beyond Forever and That Kiss in the Rain, which have been devoured by many all over the country. Based in Mumbai, he is currently working as a screenwriter. You can read his blog on life and inspiration at www.nbconline.blogspot.com, e-mail him at novosphere@gmail.com, or facebook him at www.facebook.com/novoneel