Hanging With A Time Surfer

by Celine Chatillon

  "There, that's better, isn't it?” Loudly purring, Catriona tenderly stroked Shelby's inner thighs with her tongue. “All the pink on your face makes such a pretty picture."

  "Does it?” Shelby sighed. She wanted to sleep for a lifetime she felt so relaxed.

  "It does. Let me look for the key to these handcuffs. After the warmth fades you're going to want to lie down."

  "No, I can't lie down. We've got to get out of here. We've got to find Quentin and warn him about Barris and..."

  "Sh!” Catriona placed a paw on Shelby's lips. “Don't get excited. We can't go looking for Quentin—we'd lead Barris to him possibly. Quentin's a well-trained Time Agent. Undoubtedly he can look after himself. What we need to do first is to get to the control room and turn this crazy ship around."

  "Around? Don't you want to meet up with the Time Cops?"

  "Not particularly.” The cat woman shrugged. “I'm in pretty much the same situation as Quentin and Barris. Only I don't have a death sentence on my head. Still, I don't relish being imprisoned for life.” She crossed to a rack filled with metal scourging instruments and scavenged around for something useful. “If I can't find a key, perhaps one of these nasty things will help us break open the lock."

  Shelby frowned. Catriona wasn't a Time Cop? Could she be a former Time Cop? Weren't there any current members in this organization? It seemed there were just too many disgruntled ex-employees for her tastes. It sounded like the Time Regulation Agency needed someone with her business and organizational skills on board to whip them back into shape.

  Whip. The image of the cat-o-nine-tails lying on the floor beneath her dangling feet froze in front of her eyes. She'd never think about whipping anyone into shape in quite the same way ever again.

  "Here, this will have to do.” Catriona held up a long, thin, sharply pointed device. “I think I can pick the lock with this. It shouldn't be too hard."

  "Will you be able to reach the locks?"

  Catriona leapt to the top of the wooden rack contraption and pulled the chains over to her. “No problem. You'll be out of these in a few moments."

  Shelby felt the first cuff loosen. The second cuff loosened. Her hands slid out and she trickled to the floor like water gently tumbling over a waterfall. Catriona jumped down to cradle Shelby's limp body in her arms.

  "How did you ever learn how to pick a lock like that?” Shelby said breathlessly.

  "How did I learn to pick a lock? Are you kidding? I'm a cat burglar. It's part of the job."

  "A cat burglar?” Shelby smiled at the pun. “I thought you said the Time Cops were after you."

  Catriona rubbed the circulation back into Shelby's limbs. “They are, but not because I screwed up time or anything. Oh, no. I'm not a trained time surfer. I'm just a greedy burglar who stole a time device and began stealing treasures throughout time to sell further down the timeline to museums and collectors for a shit load of money. It's much easier than grave robbing, and it preserves historical artifacts as well."

  "Yes, I can see that. Very inventive, Cat."

  She purred. “Thanks. You think you can stand now?"

  Shelby wobbled to her feet. “Uh, yeah. I'm okay. Where's my robe?"

  They looked around the playroom and discovered it crumpled in a corner. Shelby slipped it on and sashed it then headed toward the cage room door. “This way?"

  Catriona frowned and shook her head. “I don't think you want to go in there. We're better off looking for an air duct and crawling out of here that way."

  "Why do people always have to escape via air ducts? Doctor Who, Star Trek they all had their air duct escape episodes. Why can't we just search for a normal exit?"

  Shelby froze the second her foot crossed the cage room threshold. The putrid stench of rotting flesh assailed her nostrils.

  "Oh, my God ... Is that what I think it is? Did he ... Are they?"

  Catriona wrapped an arm about her shoulders and turned her away. “Yes, it's rotting corpses. I was the only living thing in there. Barris keeps one or two party guests per orgy and locks them up in one of his cages and uses the poor person until he or she expires, trapped forever in his playroom of horrors."

  "So, there's nothing else in there but cages and...” She gulped hard. “And bodies?"

  Her companion nodded solemnly.

  "You're sure there's not another door? How did you get in there after the party?"

  "I don't recall exactly. I was knocked out by something ... something sweet smelling. The next thing I know, I'm in a cage and being rolled into here."

  "Rolled?” Shelby bit her lips in thought. “Could the cage fit through the front door?"

  Catriona shook her head. “No, it's wider than the passageway door now that I think about it. There must be another entrance like a service entrance."

  "Then we're going to have to go through the cage area. That's only place it could be.” Shelby pinched her nostrils shut with her thumb and index fingers. “After you."

  "No, after you.” Bold and fearless minutes previously, the Felinian's eyes mirrored her anxiety. “Okay, we'll enter together at the same time."

  Linking arms they took a step into the dimly lit chamber. Foul stenches rose from their right and left. Shelby led them bravely onward.

  "The door has got to be in here somewhere. How long does this horror chamber go on?” Shelby asked.

  "Who knows? When I jiggled my cage bars, the sound echoed."

  The fetid odors of death started to wane as they progressed through the long hallway lined with cages. Soon they hit a blank wall.

  Shelby shook her head and stomped her feet. “Oh, great. A dead end. Now what?"

  Catriona tapped the wall. “Listen. It's hollow. There's space behind it. This has got to be where my cage was rolled into the room. There doesn't seem to be another option."

  "Look for a switch or a button or a doorknob. Do they still have doorknobs in the forty-second century?"

  "Forty-second? I thought this was only the thirty-fourth century. And what's a ‘doorknob'?"

  "Never mind. Let's push and see what happens.” Leaning hard against the wall, Shelby hoped beyond hope that it would yield to their weight. Nothing. She slumped to the floor. “Crud. What's our next option?"

  "We could try to find an air duct? Go out through the front entrance?"

  "Possibly. But I thought I heard Barris lock it."

  Catriona smiled. “There's not a lock I can't pick."

  "Why didn't you say so in the first place?” Shelby sighed. “I didn't ask, did I? And I bossed you around. Sorry. Force of habit I guess. You sort of remind me of one of my former employees."

  "I enjoy taking orders from you, Shelby.” Catriona purred and wiggled her snub nose at her. “Can we get out of here now?"

  "With pleasure."

  Two steps later and the floor suddenly gaped open before them.

  "Ahhhh!” Before Shelby knew what was happening they were falling, falling ... slipping and sliding down a long metal tube toward who-knew-where.

  Chapter Twelve

  "First rule of running a party ship. Be sure to stock enough booze in your wine cellar."

  Quentin shoved the dusty bottle of Rigellian ale back into the rack and wandered down the aisles toward an opening in the dimly lit area. Deep in the bowels of Barris’ space vessel, he felt relatively safe for the time being. But where in the hell was the “playroom” Barris had said he was taking Shelby to? Knowing what he did about Barris and the deviant's true nature, he'd assumed the bastard stowed his torture chamber in the lower levels near the storage compartments so he'd have plenty of room—and sound proofing—to torture his victims in style.

  "Think, Takahashi. Wine cellar is below the main orgy pit and the laundry room is below the showers.” He circled a large pit full of soiled linen and pillows piled at the end of a long chute. “Perhaps if I head along this dark, sloping passage upward..."

  "Ahhh! Look out below!"

  "Shelby?” He stared abov
e his head from where her voice was coming from. “Shelby, is that you? Umph!"

  Before she could answer Quentin found himself flattened into the dirty clothes with Shelby's crotch straddling his face.

  "Yee-ow!” Catriona landed, feet first beside the happy couple then rolled to the floor.

  "Quentin I'm sorry. Are you okay?” Shelby attempted to remove her weight from his face, but he'd have none of it.

  "I'm more than okay,” he mumbled, holding onto her hips. “Talk about wonderful things falling from heaven. Tasty, wonderful things..."

  Shelby moaned as his tongue flickered across her clit. The fates seemed to have it in for the two of them. They seem destined to fall into bed with each other at a moment's notice during dangerous times. “Hmm, yes that's wonderful, but we can't stop for a little playtime now. We've got to turn this spaceship around."

  "She's right,” Catriona whispered, pacing around the laundry pile. “Barris is searching for you even now. We've got to get to the control room somehow without being re-captured."

  Quentin reluctantly helped Shelby extricate her pussy from his tongue and sat up. “What, he's got a crew of, let's say, a dozen or more? There's only the three of us. We're not going to be able to overtake them by force. We need to find my key chain and time surf out of here as soon as this crate lands."

  "Dammit, Quentin! You're always losing your key chain. Why don't you stow it up your cute ass or something?” Shelby stomped her foot in exasperation and stubbed her toe on something hard tangled within the dirty linens. “Ow! What the hell? I just stepped on something hard."

  "My key chain!” Quentin dove head first into the pile and popped up with his time travel mechanism in hand. “Talk about convenient timing. What were the odds we'd all wind up in the laundry room where our clothing had been tossed?"

  "I'd say the odds were in your favor all along.” A deep, friendly disembodied voice from somewhere under the heap spoke to them in a calm tone. “After all, it was I who retrieved it a few moments after you shed your outerwear, and it was I who followed it down here hoping to meet up with its owner."

  "Who are you—where are you?” Shelby began to dig down through the sheets and towels but came up empty handed. “Are you a ventriloquist?"

  "No, he's invisible.” Catriona crawled about on all fours and sniffed a large indentation in the laundry pile they hadn't noticed before now. “You're an invisible man from Exilla Seven, aren't you?"

  "Correct. And you're a Felinian? Beautiful coat I may say.” Catriona purred loudly and smiled. “Ivak Manstun at your service,” said the invisible man. “I take it you all are on the outs with Barris, too."

  "Nice to meet you, Ivak. I'm Quentin Takahashi.” Quentin slipped the time device into his robe pocket and stuck out a hand for their invisible companion to shake. “The ‘outs’ doesn't quite sum up the problem Barris and I have. He wants to turn me in to the Time Cops and collect the reward on my hide."

  "That doesn't make any sense.” Ivak sounded puzzled to Shelby, but who could really tell a person's emotions for sure without a face? “He'll have to turn himself in at the same time. I hear he has a death sentence waiting if the Time Regulators ever get a hold of him."

  "That's where I come into play. I'm Shelby Schwartz.” Shelby stuck out her hand but, instead of shaking it, Ivak kissed it. She giggled. His feather-light kiss sent shivers of delight dancing along her nerve endings. “How gallant you are, Mr. Manstun."

  "It's Ivak. We Exillans are all very informal people. It's probably due to the fact that we run around naked all the time."

  Shelby gulped. Whoa! She could have reached out and inadvertently shook just about any part of his anatomy by mistake. Catriona got on all fours and sniffed the air again.

  "Yes, he smells musky and sweaty and male like a naked Exillan in the prime of life. Being invisible does have its advantages. The whole galaxy is your nude beach."

  Ivak laughed. “Yes, it is. So, Quentin, how is Barris going to use this lovely human female here to keep his timeline from becoming obliterated?"

  "She's a Chosen One. Has the mark to prove it. He plans on using her as a bargaining chip to be left alone once he's turned me over."

  "It'll never work.” Ivak's voice sounded as if he were walking away from the laundry area. They rose and followed the sound of it toward the wine cellar racks. A bottle of champagne seemingly removed itself from a slot and popped open, slightly dribbling its contents onto the deck. The bottle rose to about mouth height and an ounce of the contents disappeared into thin air. “Want some?"

  "Thanks.” Quentin accepted the bottle and took a swig. “Catriona?"

  "No thank you. I need to keep my senses sharp,” Catriona replied. She sniffed around the wine racks as if making mental notes of the lay out.

  "Shelby? Want a sip?"

  "Nah, I need to keep sharp, too. I don't want to fall asleep and find myself tied up in Barris's playroom again."

  "Wise woman—and very talented too, from what all I observed from the locker room.” Ivak took the bottle back from Quentin and enjoyed another gulp. “You're very lucky she's your lifemate."

  "Lifemate?” Shelby's heart skipped a beat. Quentin suddenly looked very uncomfortable. She sighed. It was up to her to correct their fellow stowaway before things got out of hand. “Oh, no we're not married. We're just traveling together."

  "Pity.” The half-empty champagne bottle lowered to the floor. “You two make a handsome couple with or without clothing. Anyway, the Time Cops Barris made a deal with won't care about obliterating a human Chosen One. Barris’ plan is faulty."

  Quentin's eyes narrowed. He crossed his arms and frowned. “And how would an invisible man know they won't bargain to save the life of a human Chosen One?"

  "Because I work for the Time Regulation Agency, and the people he's dealing with don't. They're actually small-time scam artists using psychic papers to convince people they're the real deal. I've been tracking them for some time as well, but my first mission is to bring in Barris, and they've so kindly cooperated without realizing it."

  "What?” Quentin took a step back. “You work for the TRA? Hey, I didn't mean anything earlier by..."

  "Don't sweat it,” Ivak cut in. “I forgot to give you my title, didn't I? We Exillans are entirely too informal at times.” He cleared his throat. “Ahem, I'm Ivak Manstun, Chief Investigator for Covert Time Operations. And after I've apprehended Barris Falst I'll have to bring you in for questioning as well, Quentin Takahashi—you and your accomplices."

  "Shit.” Quentin slumped to the floor. His head dropped into his hands. “I knew coming here wasn't going to make my day.” He raised his wrists, ready for handcuffing. “I might as well turn myself in now. Get it over with, Ivak."

  "I don't mean to interrupt your self-indulgent moaning, but we have company,” Catriona hissed. “Barris has sent some of his heavies down here to look for us."

  Shelby's eyes grew wide in the semi-darkness. “How can you tell? I don't see or hear anyone."

  "I can smell them and hear the high-pitched whine of the turbo lift. You forget my senses were developed for hunting—and for being hunted. Come on, we've got to find a place to hide."

  "Let's just hit the button and time surf on out of here,” Shelby suggested. Quentin and Catriona stared at her. “What? Did I grow a wart on the end of my nose or something?"

  "We can't use a time device to open a hole in the time fabric without opening a hole in the side of the ship,” Ivak calmly explained.

  "That's okay. We won't be here and Barris and company will get sucked out into space. Baddies dead. Case closed."

  "You are one tough human female,” Catriona said in awe. “But we'll get sucked out into space as the time passage grows in size large enough for us to enter it. That's why you can only directly time travel through the time streams via planets and not spacecrafts."

  "Well said.” Ivak sounded impressed.

  Quentin uneasily shifted his weight from foot to foo
t. “I hate to break up this mutual admiration society, but we need to get off this level, right?"

  "Yes, that makes sense,” Ivak agreed.

  Shelby headed toward the laundry chute and the others followed. “We can go up the way we came down."

  Catriona's fur bristled. “Crawl inside that awful tube? Back to that room of death?"

  Shelby nodded. “They'd never to think to look for us there. Any of us."

  "But its sides are steep and smooth. My claws will never grip a hold of its surface. My fur will make me slip and slide."

  "I'll go first.” Quentin jumped on top of the laundry pile. “Human feet are fairly sticky and we can use our fingers and toes to grip onto any small ledges inside. There are some distinct advantages to being related to primates."

  The sound of a turbo lift door opening and deep voices commanding others to search in certain directions echoed off the metal bulkheads.

  "After you, ladies,” Ivak said. “I'll take the rear position. That way you won't have to worry where you're placing your hands on me in case I slip."

  Quentin scrambled up the tube about twelve feet and wedged himself against a slight ledge. “Hurry and crawl up to me here,” he whispered. “We can't move around too much while they're nearby."

  "This couldn't be easier.” Reks’ deep, hissing voice drifted across deck. “It's like catching a mouse in a maze. We might as well relax a few moments and enjoy ourselves."

  A couple of goons with him laughed boisterously. The sound of bottles being uncorked echoed up the laundry chute.

  "Yes!” Shelby whispered as she positioned herself at Quentin's side in the chute and helped Cat to do the same. “They'll get too sloshed to even think of crawling up this tube."

  "Shh!” Ivak scolded under his breath. “Don't bet on it. Barris hires some of the meanest thugs in the galaxy. Drunk or not they'll get what they're gunning for."

  Suddenly, the invisible man sneezed a long, earsplitting sneeze.

  "What the fuck?” Reks cried out. “That sound ... It came from over near the laundry."