Never Change

by Anne Carol

  “Hi, David.” Her wobbly voice raised the hairs on the back of my neck. The nurse wheeled me to her side. Brooke stood and moved her chair so I could be close to Beth. Her cheek, red with tear stains, begged to be touched.

  “Have you been crying, angel?”

  She smiled. “Just a little.” She wiped under her eyes. “You scared me. How did you fall, anyway?”

  “I tripped.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Tripped? Over what?”

  “When I saw you clutch your stomach and leave the stage, I panicked. Went after you and caught the mic stand with my foot.”

  “Oh, no!”

  “Thought you were in labor.”

  Her mouth upturned in a half smile. “They were Braxton Hicks contractions. False labor, basically.”

  False labor caused this chain of events? Goodness. “That’s a relief. So, no baby tonight?”

  She shook her head. “No, but the doctor wants me to stay off my feet as much as possible. Just to be safe.”

  My jaw tensed. “Promise me you’re telling me everything? There’s no danger?”

  The squeeze of her soft hand sent shivers down my back. “It’s just a precaution. I won’t keep anything from you. I promise.”

  I sat back in the chair, my muscles relaxed. “Our life is about to change, isn’t it?”

  A glow touched her expression. “Yeah.” She gestured to my mid-section. “Not sure how you’re going to set up the nursery with bruised ribs and a sprained ankle.” Her hand drifted to the side of my head. I flinched when she found the bump. “And that’s quite a goose egg.” She shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

  I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Love me, have my baby, spend eternity with me.”

  “Nice to know the concussion hasn’t affected your charm.” She grinned.

  “Never,” I whispered, wanting more of her.

  Her eyes wandered to my lips. “You don’t want to know the thoughts going through my mind right now.”

  My eyes widened. “What? Tell me…”

  My engine revved, seeing the way she gawked at me, and I was ready to move in for a deep kiss when the sound of footsteps broke our connection.

  “Time to get back to your room, Mr. Somers. Your wife needs her rest, and so do you.”

  A foul name floated in my mind for this nurse. How dare she interrupt us like that?

  Beth smirked at me. “Go on. Do as the nurse says and I’ll see you in the morning.” She cupped my cheek, which I nestled into her palm.

  My recovery was short-lived as I had an urgent project ahead of me: last minute touches on the nursery. Between Dad, Martin, Pete, and I, we had the baby’s room painted, furnished, and decorated in less than two weeks. Beth kept her feet up and spent time reading parenting books. Whenever she got up to offer us tea, I insisted she stay put. She called me overprotective, but I didn’t care. Every time she was on her feet for more than ten minutes, she breathed heavier and had a strained look on her face. It made me cringe.

  I massaged her back every night. It was my only opportunity to touch her, as the doctor had advised no lovemaking in these final weeks. We were back to the early days of our relationship—hugging, kissing and a lot of cuddling. Of course, I wanted all of her, but I knew she was uncomfortable, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her or our baby. The time was so close now. I could hardly believe our little one would soon be here.

  One night as I rubbed her lower back, Beth grew quiet, before finally asking, “David, do you think we can visit Michael’s grave tomorrow? I want to plant some flowers.”

  “Of course, if you’re up for it.”

  She paused. “I’ve been thinking a lot about him lately. I don’t ever want to forget our first baby, even if he was tiny enough to fit into the palm of my hand. I’m afraid…I guess I’m afraid we’ll forget him once this baby is born.” She rubbed her belly.

  “We will never forget.” I put my hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t you worry about that.” The strawberry scent of her hair made me linger, and I tucked her into me, wrapping my arms around her. Whenever she spoke about our lost baby, my only instinct was to hold her and love on her. I wanted to protect her from the grief, even though I knew that was impossible.

  “Wonder what kind of parents we would have been back then, at eighteen and nineteen?”

  “Clueless,” I said, instantly regretting it. “I mean, not that I didn’t want the baby.”

  “I know what you mean, David.” She patted my leg. “We were young and still kids ourselves. Honestly, I kind of feel clueless now. I’m both excited and nervous.”

  “I am, too. But isn’t that normal? Aren’t most new parents anxious?”

  “Yeah. Brooke was, and Susie admits she was a clumsy first-time mother, and yet they’ve managed. I think I’m most nervous about touring with the baby. If she’s fussy about traveling, it’ll be a nightmare.”

  “We’ll deal with it when the time comes. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll just have to adjust, because—like it or not—her daddy is a musician and I’m not about to go on the road without my wife and child.”

  “Oh, David,” she sighed. “What if something bad happens when I’m giving birth?”

  “Shh…everything will be fine. I’ll be there with you. Your mum and my mum will also be there. You won’t be alone.”

  “I know. I just remember the pain of the miscarriage, and I dread experiencing that again. It was horrible.”

  My eyes teared up at the memory, and my heart dropped to my stomach. “You have every right to be feeling this way, and I can’t promise you it won’t hurt.” I held her close. “What have you done before when you’ve felt helpless and scared?”

  “Prayed, read the Bible. I did that lot when you were in rehab.”

  “Then why don’t we do that now?”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. I have those same fears.”

  “You’re worried about giving birth?” she teased.

  I chuckled. “You know what I mean. I’m anxious about the birth…something going wrong, seeing you in pain. It’ll tear me apart, even though I know something wonderful will come of it.”

  “Just please don’t pass out.”

  “I’ll try not to.” God, please don’t let her suffer too much. I couldn’t take it.

  We held each other silently for a moment, and then I reached into my side drawer and pulled out a copy of the Bible. I flipped to the marker in Psalm 122 and began reading: “’I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth…’” After I finished, I placed my hands on her belly and prayed over our baby.

  We followed this routine for the next two weeks until the morning our world changed forever.

  I couldn’t sleep anymore. It was still dark out, but the cramping sensation was too much to bear. My arms tightened around my squished pillow as I bit my lip, holding back my cries. Finally, I gave up and carefully slipped out of bed. Somewhere on my way to the bathroom, a gush of liquid drenched my bottoms.

  Is this it, God? I clamped my legs together and inched my way to the toilet. “David, wake up!”

  “Huh? What’s going on? Beth?” A loud thump sounded. “I’m coming!”

  “Did you fall?” I called out as I lowered myself to the toilet. Once I determined my water did indeed break, and that I didn’t have an accident, a slew of emotions came over. A drumming in my chest began, and my hands shook. This is it.

  “David!” Tears came out of nowhere, and I wiped my eyes, not wanting to alarm him.

  He soon appeared at the threshold, looking disheveled in his T-shirt and plaid boxers. “What’s wrong, love? It’s 5 a.m.”

  “My water just broke.”

  Terror filled his eyes, and he ran his hands through his already messed up hair. “So this is it?”

  Another cramp traveled over my lower half, making me grip my stomach. �
�Ah!” I gritted my teeth and nodded. “C-Call your parents. And my bag is packed and by the door already.” Thankfully I’d been prepared.

  He scrambled away, and it didn’t take a minute before I heard his gravelly voice, “Mum, it’s time. Can you come round spit spot?”

  I laughed at his British slang, which made my bladder give way. My lightheartedness evolved to tears, however, when another contraction hit. Today would be a day of laughter and tears, it seemed.

  David appeared in the bathroom, rubbing his eyes, and handed me a pair of clean underpants. “Mum says to make sure we keep track of how far apart the contractions are.”

  “Oh, yeah.” My body trembled as I took in what was about to happen. It was surreal.

  David reached into the cabinet below the sink and grabbed a maxi pad. He tenderly kissed my cheek as he handed it to me. “It’s going to be okay, angel.” A tear trailed down my face, and he brushed it away with his thumb. “I’m going to get dressed, and then I’ll help you into some clothes.”

  I nodded, swallowing a lump. “Thank you,” I whispered, shocked at how calm he was. Question was, how long could he keep that up?

  Oh, God, please be with me, I silently prayed as leaned over the sink and brushed my teeth. Keep me and the baby safe, and please keep David calm and clear-headed.

  I was washing my face when David returned and handed me a pair of sweatpants and a Vinyl Fog shirt. “Mum and Dad should be here any second. Garrick will meet us at the back entrance. I know it’s early, but I’d rather not take risks.”

  “Good idea,” I muttered, not about to argue with his logic. Having Garrick as a buffer, in the event a paparazzi or crazed fan spotted us, gave me great comfort.

  Once I wrestled myself into the T-shirt, I tossed my hair up in a bun, and then let David help me into the sweatpants. He kept mumbling, “It’s going to be fine, it’s going to be fine.” I wasn’t sure if he was reassuring me or absentmindedly talking to himself.

  My soiled pajamas sat in a heap on the bathroom floor, but I figured I’d deal with that later. Getting to the hospital took precedence over dirty laundry. Dressed and ready to go, I swallowed hard and said, “So, shall we do this?”

  “Yes.” He cupped my face in his hands and grinned. “Let’s go have a baby.” He gently kissed my lips, lingering a moment, and then he bent down and kissed my big belly. “I get to meet you soon, Baby Somers.”

  When he stood up and faced me, I smoothed out his furrowed brow. “Whatever happens today, please try to stay calm. You’ve been wonderful so far.” But the color was already draining from his face, and his eyes shone with moisture. I shook my head. “I’m kidding myself, aren’t I?”

  “I’ll do the best I can, angel. Don’t forget you’ll have both mums, your aunt, and cousin along. Plenty of back-up.”

  “Hallelujah.” I rolled my eyes. My parents had arrived a week earlier to help celebrate David’s twenty-third birthday. They were staying with Uncle Ned and Aunt Ellie and would be around for another three weeks. Mom was looking forward to being by my side during labor, though I’d requested only David be in the room for the delivery.

  The doorbell chimed, and David jumped. “They’re here! Let’s go!” He spun around and charged away, leaving me standing there, enduring another contraction. It wasn’t long before he turned on his heel and came back.

  “Forget something?” I squeaked out, before taking a deep breath.

  He gripped his forehead. “My head, apparently. I’m sorry, love. Come on, let me help you.” He circled his arm around my waist and guided me toward the door.

  “Thanks.”

  Next to the door sat my suitcase, handbag, and David’s acoustic guitar. “You’re bringing your guitar?”

  “Of course,” he said as if it was a dumb question. “I thought it’d be nice to play for you.” He couldn’t contain his smile. “And I wrote a song for the baby.”

  I pressed my hand to my chest. “Really?”

  He nodded and opened the door. Charles was waiting on the porch. “Margaret’s already phoned the hospital. They’re expecting you.”

  The drive to the hospital was quick, and we were met at the back door by Garrick and a nurse, who promptly set me in a wheelchair and ushered us up to the labor and delivery ward. I was happy to have a private room, which David had arranged to avoid unwanted publicity.

  I changed into my hospital gown and lay on the bed, where the nurse hooked me up to a fetal monitor. She took my vitals, asked me about my contractions, and then did a quick internal examination. David paced the room, rubbing the back of his neck the whole time. He was making me nervous, so I finally told him to go fetch a cup of tea.

  Shaking his head, he walked to my side. “I’m not leaving you.” His voice was stern.

  “David, it’s going to be a long day. Get some tea, and while you’re out there, send the ladies in.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Fine,” he said rigidly. “But I won’t be gone long.”

  After he left, I relaxed against the pillow, only to tense up as another contraction hit. “Breath through it, honey,” the nurse said, approaching the side of the bed.

  Practicing my breathing exercises eased my pain, which helped me regain composure just as my mom, Margaret, and Aunt Ellie strolled into the room.

  “Well? How’s it looking?” Mom asked.

  The nurse responded, “It’s early yet. She’s at five centimeters.” She turned my way, “You’re welcome to get up and take short walks during this stage, but you should also try to rest between contractions.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “I’ll go ahead and remove the fetal monitor so you’re free to move around.” She took off the belt from around my abdomen. “I’ll be back to check you in thirty minutes. Ring the button if you need me sooner. Do you have any questions?”

  “I can’t think of any.” I can’t think, period. Thank goodness Margaret’s a nurse.

  As soon as she walked out, David returned, toting a steaming cup of tea and a plastic cup full of ice. “How are you?” He came over and handed me the cup. “You’re supposed to stay hydrated.”

  “Thanks.” I took the cup and dumped some ice chips into my parched mouth.

  “Beth, why don’t you get up and walk for a bit?” Margaret said. The other ladies uttered their agreement.

  David took both my hands and helped me out of the bed. Upon standing, I wavered, but he kept me steady. “Are you sure you want to walk?”

  “Yes!” I grumbled, already tired of his overzealousness.

  “Don’t get angry,” he replied defensively. “Just making sure.”

  My mom said in a low voice, “Be easy on him, Beth.”

  Margaret waved her hand and chuckled. “Oh, you should’ve heard me when I was in labor with David. The colorful language that came from my mouth!”

  “Mum!” David was clearly appalled. “I’ve never heard you utter a profane word.”

  “You’d be surprised what childbirth can bring out in a woman,” Aunt Ellie pitched in as the five of us embarked on a walk to the end of the corridor. Sounds of women moaning and shrieking came from some of the other rooms, making me tighten my grip on David’s hand. In response, he started rubbing my back. “How are you feeling?”

  “Scared.”

  “I wish I could ease your mind, love.”

  We approached the window of the nursery, where a dozen tiny babies lay in cribs lined up in rows. Some babies were sleeping, others sucking their fists, and a few were wailing with red faces. I touched the window and my heart filled with longing for our baby.

  “See what we’ll get soon?” He bumped my arm and winked at me. “Just think about that part.”

  I stroked his arm. “You remind me.”

  “I will.” He kissed my forehead.

  I whimpered through another powerful, mind-numbing contraction. David and our moms were stationed near my bed. My faithful partner sat as close as possible, never letting go of my hand,
while my mom paced the floor and talked me through my breathing. Margaret, meanwhile, stood beside David and gave her son the bulk of her moral support. He was struggling to keep it together during my contractions. Every time I hit the worst part of one, I couldn’t help crying out, and he’d, in turn, run a hand through his hair repeatedly. During the calm intervals, which were growing shorter, I watched him, hair disheveled and sticking up. It really bothered him to see me in pain. My David, so protective.

  Jenny, Brooke, and Aunt Ellie took turns popping in to check on me. Jenny had arrived at the worst time, just after I’d thrown up. I’d never seen anyone reverse out of a room so fast. Fortunately, she braved another visit, where she distracted me from my pain and fear with her quirky stories. After a particularly bad contraction, she hugged me and said, “You’re doing great, cousin.” Then she turned to David and asked, “How are you holding up, Dad?”

  He wiped his brow and said, “She’s doing all the work. I’m proud of her.”

  “Aren’t you a sweetie? I knew you’d be good for my cousin, from the first day you met her.”

  He gazed at me. “I’m sure glad she gave me a chance.” David leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You feeling okay?”

  “For now.”

  “When the next one hits, just squeeze my hand. I can take it.”

  He didn’t have to wait long. The pains were coming closer together and with increasing intensity. At the first twinge of the next contraction, I gripped his hand and squeezed it with all the power in me, until the worst was over.

  When I loosened my hold, he promptly wrung out his hand. “Just remember that I need this for my livelihood.”

  “Sorry. Did that really hurt?”

  He grimaced. “Not much. I just never knew you were so strong.” He stroked my brow and kissed my forehead. “My sweet girl,” he whispered.