by Anne Carol
Then the thought of her safety in Garden Valley struck me. She’d be without security. She and Christine would be out there unprotected. It seemed unlikely Beth would bring Garrick along with them. God, I can’t handle this. What do I do?
When I returned to the hotel room to regroup, I found Beth asleep on the sofa, with my mother-in-law cuddling Christine, who looked not only better but happy. “How long has Beth been sleeping?” I asked Sharon as I knelt down to kiss my baby.
“About thirty minutes.”
I lifted Beth off the sofa, careful not to wake her. “I’ll move her to the bed, and then I’m going to squeeze in a lie-down myself.”
Sharon nodded. “That’s fine. We’re just enjoying our granddaughter.”
Cradling Beth in my arms, I carried her to our bed, which was in a separate room in the two-bedroom suite. I closed the door and lay down beside her, falling asleep to the sound of her soft breathing.
The scent of tea rose, and a firm shake roused me from sleep. “Sweetie, you should get up and get to the hall.”
Sitting up with a start, I peeled my eyes open to see Beth dressed in dark jeans and a glittery blouse. Her hair was curled and her makeup done. “You’re coming?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, I thought perhaps you’d stay with your parents and Christine.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor. “Would you rather I stay?”
“No.” I grabbed her hand. “I want you with me, but is Christine—?”
“She’s fine. I just nursed her, and I pumped another bottle, so she should be good for a while.”
“Give me five minutes.” I climbed off the bed, kissed my wife, and headed to the washroom.
I loved how Beth followed me around backstage before showtime. When we were in the tuning room alone, her scent drove me wild. I could hardly concentrate. How many times had we made out—and more—in a little room like this? The way she stared at me now, I wondered if she was thinking the same thing. All I knew was that her lips were calling to me.
Setting the guitar aside, I raced over to her, cupped her face in my hands, and smashed my mouth to hers. We kissed deeply for a few minutes—her hands in my hair, mine gripping her waist—and I gently pushed her against the wall, pressing my body to hers. She gasped and pushed me away.
“No, David. Not here.”
“I need you, Beth,” I breathed. The desire was so strong I could hardly control myself.
“Tonight, I’m all yours.” She rubbed my cheek and gazed into my eyes.
“Promise?” The question came out strained and gruff.
“Promise. Right now, just get those axes ready.”
I knew she was just keeping me to task, but it felt like a rejection. “Okay.” I headed back to the guitar rack.
“Hey.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her. “We’re going to be fine.”
“It just feels like you’re running away from me.”
“I swear I’m not. I’m trying to do what’s best for our girl.”
“By taking her away from her father?”
She looked at me grimly. “We knew this would be tricky, and no, this isn’t ideal, but her health comes first.”
My shoulders dropped. “Of course. I just don’t like being separated.”
“You can’t have it both ways, David.”
Nothing like being punched in the gut. I turned my back on her, reaching for my Fender Telecaster, my favorite. “Why don’t you go out to the green room so I can focus?”
“Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Hmm…yeah I can tell.” She turned the doorknob. “I’ll leave you to it.”
Once her sweet scent was gone, I pounded my fist on my thigh. Beth…my sweet girl. She had no idea how hard this situation was for me. Hanging my Fender, I picked up the Gibson and shoved every thought of my wife and daughter to the recesses of my mind. This would have to become a habit over the next month, losing myself in the music and not thinking about my two girls in another city.
Before I took to the stage, Beth embraced me and kissed me senseless, which didn’t help matters, but I wasn’t about to refuse her affections. If she only knew how beautiful she was and how hard it was to leave her side, even to do something I loved.
It was near midnight by the time we left the concert hall, but I didn’t plan on sleeping when we got to the hotel room. I kissed Beth’s hand over and over in the limo on the way to our temporary home. The other guys were already on their way north, and I planned to catch a flight to Santa Barbara the following morning.
She tousled my hair. “You’re quiet.”
“Just thinking.”
“Writing lyrics in your head?”
“No.” Thinking about you.
“It’ll be okay, David,” she said, resting her head on my shoulder.
Do you even know how much I love you?
Everyone was asleep as we looked in on Christine, who was breathing normal, and then quietly headed to our room. The electricity between us sizzled in the air, and by the time we slipped under the covers, I was ready to lose myself in my wife.
Saying goodbye to Beth and Christine the following morning was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I smothered each of them with hugs and kisses. “Just know how much I love you, angel,” I said, cradling her face in my hands.
“I know,” she sniffed. “I love you, too.”
Christine squealed when I took her in my arms. Of course, she had no idea she wouldn’t see me for a while. It killed me to know I’d miss out on her milestones. My eyes stung with tears. “Please take pictures, and send me some if you can,” I whispered, my throat drying.
Beth wiped her cheek. “I will.”
“Oh, Beth.” I grabbed her in my arms and squeezed her once more before she and our little girl were gone.
After the door shut, I leaned against the door and cried out to God.
“Oh, it’s chilly out here. I’ll have to get Christine a jacket,” I said, shivering against the cool wind. I held the baby closer to me to keep her warm as we sat on the picnic blanket.
“It’s November in Northern California. Fall has finally arrived,” stated Susie as she handed a sippy cup to Ted, her eight-month-old. Ricky was playing in the sandbox, with Susie keeping an eye on him.
“No hint of fall in Los Angeles.” I rubbed my arms for emphasis. “It was kind of nice, actually.”
She knit her eyebrows together. “How hard was it to leave David?”
“It was like having my skin ripped off.”
“Nice imagery.”
“Sorry, but it’s the truth.”
It had been three days since we traveled north from L.A., and I was grateful Christine was on the mend. But being away from David left a crater-sized hole in my chest. I still struggled with my decision to leave, yet I knew it was the best thing for our daughter.
If only David would have been more understanding. Instead, he made me feel like a jerk for taking our child away. He didn’t understand that, even when she was back to good health, I couldn’t keep her around all the smokers and haul her from city to city with no set routine. She’d seen more hotel rooms and concert venues in her almost five months than I had in my first eighteen years. She needed to be a baby, to enjoy the great outdoors and to be spoiled by her grandparents. Not to mention, I was desperate for a breather.
So, hard as it was, I couldn’t regret pulling her from the tour. Unfortunately, Christine missed David as badly as I did. Or worse. She’d cried so much in the past few days that the skin around her eyes was red and blotchy. It broke my heart. The only reason she didn’t cry now was because she liked being outside—and around Susie and her boys.
Ricky, at three years old, had taken an immediate liking to Christine, barely giving Susie a chance to hold her before he was in her face, showing her a football.
“When can she pay wiff me?” he’d asked,
all innocent-like.
“Oh, sweetie, she’s too little to play ball. But you can give her a rattle or some toy keys,” I’d said, completely taken by his irresistible blue-eyed gaze. He was destined to become a ladies’ man, just like his father.
Being around Susie and the boys cheered me up, and I had a hunch she was happy to have me here. Working part-time at the camera store, in addition to mothering two children, kept her from making close connections. I loved how we could pick up where we left off, without any awkwardness. I’d missed that about my Garden Valley friends.
“I bet your grandma is excited to meet her great-granddaughter.”
“Oh, she is. I have to take Christine to the doctor first, to make sure she’s not contagious. I’d hate for my grandma to get sick. She’s had a few bouts of pneumonia.”
“You’re taking her to Aiden, right? He’s our pediatrician.”
“Yeah, we have an appointment tomorrow morning.” Aiden Masterson was the older brother to one of our classmates. The very handsome older brother—the one all the girls used to drool over back in high school. And now he was Garden Valley’s newest pediatrician.
“He’s good, a real natural.” Susie grinned. “Still pretty hot, too—and unmarried.”
I guffawed. “And, we’re both out of the running. What’s the point?”
She shrugged. “No point, I’m just amazed that such a specimen of manhood is still unattached.”
“Susie!” I laughed, and we continued chatting about high school and our speculations on where all the hot guys ended up. It was nice reminiscing and catching up with her. We talked for a long time, and then reality hit: the babies started fussing, and Ricky came darting over with soaked jeans.
Susie wrinkled her nose. “Uh oh! Ricky! Why didn’t you tell me you had to go potty?”
“I’m sowwy, Mommy,” he said, bowing his head.
“Aww, it’s okay, buddy. But we have to get you home and into some dry pants.” She smoothed back his dark hair and turned to me. “He gets involved with playing and forgets to ask.”
I nodded. “It happens to the best of us.” I patted his cheek, wanting to take away his embarrassment.
We picked up our belongings and put the babies in their strollers. On our walk back to the parking lot, Susie said with a wink, “Let me know how that appointment goes.”
“Somehow I don’t think you’re interested in a medical report.”
She stuck out her tongue and waved goodbye.
Just like old times.
David had called every evening, except this one. It was 10:00 and I’d all but given up. By now he was in the middle of a show somewhere in the Portland, Oregon area. His calls usually came in between sound check and dinner. Out of sight, out of mind. God, doesn’t he care?
I’d tried settling my thoughts as I gave Christine her bath, and again while reading her a bedtime story. But when she cried as I lay her in her crib, the tension returned. God, this is so unfair. Sure, I had my parents’ help now, but there was no replacing David’s presence. I missed him like crazy, but at least I understood the situation. Christine only knew he was gone, and I was at a loss on how to comfort her.
Insomnia kept me up that night, so I put on my headphones and listened to soft music while I read. I was surprised when my mom peeked into the room. Removing my headphones, I met her weary face.
“David’s calling.” She yawned.
I glanced at the clock. “After midnight?” I shook my head. “What an idiot.”
“Beth,” Mom warned. “Just get the phone. He’s anxious to talk to you.”
I padded into the other room and picked up the phone. “A little late, isn’t it?”
“Beth…” he breathed out. “I’m sorry. We had a photo session earlier, and I didn’t get a chance to ring. How’s Christine?”
“How’s Christine? What about me? Or do you care?”
“Sweetie, please don’t be cross. How is she?”
“She’s fine. Taking her to get checked tomorrow.”
“And how are you?” he sounded exasperated.
“Tired.”
“Yep, that makes two of us.”
“Right,” I snapped.
“Beth, what’s the matter?”
“Besides you calling late? How about your daughter hates me and only wants you? This girl is not sleeping well.”
“Play her some Joy Division. I can send you some tapes.”
I rubbed my forehead. “Excuse me? Are you joking?”
“Trust me. You can also try some Vinyl Fog. Should I send them?”
“No, I can run to Tower Records tomorrow after the doctor.”
Silence spilled over the phone line. “I hope you’re being safe. Nobody’s bothered you?”
“Not yet. I’m fine, David, don’t worry about that. Just get some sleep. I could sure use some.”
“Sorry for the late call. I love you. Goodnight, doll.”
“’Night,” I said and abruptly hung up. Only after I hung up did I realize I hadn’t returned the sentiment. Sighing, I touched the phone and whispered, “I love you too, David.”
Susie was right. He was still gorgeous. And watching this tall, built, blond stud checking over my baby girl made my heart swoon. Lord, keep me in line.
Thankfully Christine seemed to like him, too. I was getting the impression my daughter was more comfortable around males, possibly a result of her contact with band members and crew while on the road. Plus, she was a daddy’s girl.
Aiden, or rather Dr. Masterson, removed his stethoscope and turned to face me. Christine lay on the cushioned table in nothing but a diaper, sucking on a teething ring. “Well, her breathing is normal, and her cold symptoms seem to be mild. Just continue your home remedies: humidifier, liquids, fresh cool air, and rest, but she’ll be fine. It can take a few weeks for an infant to recover from a cold. Of course, if symptoms return or become worse, bring her back in.”
I sighed. “Thanks, Aiden—I mean doctor.” I smiled nervously.
He grinned. “You can call me Aiden. Hey, if you’re in town for a while, are you up for a night out?”
I must have given him a confused look, because he continued, “A bunch of us Garden Valley High gang get together once in a while for dinner. We’d love to have you and your husband join us. Susie and Rick sometimes come.”
“Oh,” I said, relieved he wasn’t asking me out. “Sure, that sounds fun. I wouldn’t mind a night out with adult conversation. And it’s just me. David’s on tour.”
His eyes widened. “You’re welcome to come solo. Can I give you a call?”
David would freak. But maybe not. I considered Aiden’s invitation as I dressed Christine. If it was a large group of people, including Susie and Rick, he wouldn’t care. Sometimes I wondered if he even missed us at all. Life on the road was all-consuming. Things were probably easier now that we were out of his hair.
Thinking about my husband reminded me I needed to run by the record store to get some music tapes. A few punk rock cassettes to lull my baby daughter to sleep. What kind of child was I raising?
While I paid for my purchases–two Joy Division and two Vinyl Fog tapes—the young man at the cash register pushed his scruffy blond hair back and studied me. I shifted uncomfortably and looked away. Great.
“Aren’t you…” Just spit it out, I thought, tapping my foot. “Oh! You’re Mike and Sharon Johnson’s daughter.”
Surprised, I met his gaze and smiled. “Yeah, how do you know them?”
“I go to their church. I’m the pastor’s son, Jack.” He dipped his chin and his face flushed.
“No way. I remember when you were a little squirt. Look at you now, all grown up!”
He gestured to Christine. “Yeah, my girlfriend…well, I want her to be my girlfriend, has a little boy. He’s the cutest thing.”
“Aren’t you sweet? Well, I hope I get to meet you all Sunday.”
“Yeah, sure thing. Hey, is your husband here, too? I noticed you bough
t a few of their tapes.”
“No, he’s still on tour. I had to take a break when the baby got sick. She’s fine, now, but I’m spending some time with my parents and grandma at least through the holidays.”
“Cool. Well, I hope I get to meet him someday. I play guitar in our new church band. I think he’s totally rad.”
“Thanks, Jack. I agree. Hopefully, he’ll be here for Christmas.” Christine started squirming in my arms, so I said goodbye and made my way to the exit.
I was glad my parents had traded in their 1970 Chevy for a new Impala, one that had a tape deck rather than an obsolete eight-track player. Once I got the baby settled in the car seat with her teething toy, I took the wrapper off one of the Vinyl Fog cassettes and put it in the slot. At the first guitar riff, I pictured my husband in his black leather pants, looking sexy and on fire as he performed. He was one good-looking guy in his concert duds.
I bet a lot of girls think that. And there’s no stopping him from doing whatever he wants with them.
My stomach tightened. He wouldn’t, I thought, reminding myself we were married and, though many rock stars ignored their marriage vows, David wasn’t like them. Still, knowing how women acted around rock stars, I said a silent prayer that he would remain faithful to me. In fact, I needed to make a habit of praying for his faithfulness. Grandma Claire had always encouraged me to replace worry with prayer.
Maybe it was a good thing Aiden invited me out. Not only was I looking forward to some grown-up time, but it felt good to be wanted, even as a friend. Yes, a little male attention would be nice, but it’s not like I was crossing any lines here. Hanging out with a bunch of old high school friends was perfectly acceptable.
Mom didn’t waste time asking me about the doctor appointment as soon as we got home. I situated myself to feed Christine, and then I gave her the lowdown.
“He’s not bad on the eyes, either,” I added, grinning.
She cocked her head and frowned. “Now, Beth, don’t go looking for trouble. You’re a married woman.”