Eastwind Witches Volume 1: Books 1-3: Paranormal Cozy Mystery

by Nova Nelson

  Chapter Three

  I remembered why I didn’t bother with a social life as soon as I dragged my butt into Medium Rare the next day. I hadn’t drank that much, but because I rarely indulged anymore, the hangover was rearing its ugly head just enough that the bright, magicked interior lights made my eyes roll slightly back into my skull the moment I stepped in from the soothing of pre-dawn darkness outside.

  Tanner seemed slightly worse for the wear, too, and greeted me with a lethargic, “Hey, Nora,” as he counted out coins at one of the back booths, his head braced on a fist, smooshing half his face upward.

  At least I wasn’t alone. Because the only thing worse than a hangover is having one when your drinking buddy doesn’t.

  The lingering dry hum in my head caused me to spend most of the morning fixated on how old I was getting, but that lessened somewhat a few hours later when Ted walked through the door. Was my sense of mortality heightened? Of course. But at least I wasn’t as ancient as Ted. Did he have an age, or was he as old as time? Or, I guess, as old as life? Because time can exist without life, but life can’t exist without death, right?

  Oh, geez. I was getting philosophical again. That was one of my weird side effects of being hungover, like my mind was withdrawing inward to ignore all the negative physical sensations.

  Grim, who had entered only a half hour earlier after getting his necessary sixteen hours of sleep, stirred awake when I stepped over him to grab the coffee pot from its cradle at the corner of the countertop. I went ahead and poured myself a third cup of coffee before dishing some up for Ted, who made a pit stop by the counter before heading to his usual spot in the corner.

  “How you feeling this morning?” he asked cheerfully as I set the mug down in front of him.

  “Fantastic. You’re not here for me, are you? Because my head feels like maybe you are.”

  He sat up straight. “Huh? No, I’m just here for the usual. I started coming here long before you were ever in Eastwind. Heh.”

  Wow. Not what I meant. “No, I just mean, I feel like I’m going to die.” I waved it off. “I’m just being melodramatic. Sorry. Bad joke.”

  “Right. No. I got that. Also, need I repeat that I don’t ‘come for people’ per se? I just clean up after them. I am in no way a death omen.”

  “So brag about it,” Grim moaned from the floor by my feet.

  “I know, Ted. Don’t worry.” I forced a grin to satisfy him. “I’m just teasing you. You know, like friends do.”

  His hood fell back slightly, revealing the jagged bones of his nose. “Friends? Right. Friends. We’re friends.” He grabbed the coffee and cheers-ed me with it. “Here’s to you feeling better, friend, so that I don’t have to clean up your corpse! Heh.”

  “Well, that’s unsettling,” Grim said, as Ted marched over to his corner booth.

  I glanced down at him. “Which part?”

  “Take your pick.”

  As the groggy early morning customers cleared out or became more functionally caffeinated, the gossip began to flow faster than the coffee.

  “Nora,” said Hyacinth Bouquet as I passed her table. I stopped in my tracks. “More coffee?”

  “Huh? Oh, sure. But I was just going to say that I heard about last night. At Sheehan’s.”

  My mind flashed back to the look of disdain on Donovan’s face when he caught Tanner and me kissing by the bathrooms. “What about it?” I held my breath.

  “Seamus, that dumb screw-up. He was making lewd comments, and then Tanner stepped in and put him in his place.” She sighed and turned to her husband, who was reading The Eastwind Watch and, in my opinion, was giving off fairly clear signals that he did not want to be dragged into the gossip. “Isn’t Tanner just the sweetest boy, James?”

  James grunted, which was more than I’d expected from him. Hyacinth turned back to me, placing a hand on my arm. “Oh, Nora, you’re lucky he was there to stand up for you, but really, you shouldn’t be going to a place like that. As I’ve told you before, you’d be a hit at Lyre Lounge. And I think I remember something about Seamus being banned from there a while back, so you wouldn’t have to worry about him. Much better company at Lyre. And richer.” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “You wouldn’t have to work here anymore, if you found yourself a man at Lyre.”

  “Thanks, but I’m fine, and I enjoyed Sheehan’s.” I topped up her coffee with a smile and walked away before I said anything I regretted.

  My temper was still sizzling like a hot griddle from the interaction when two teen boys I’d only seen a couple times before entered like a hurricane—loud, obnoxious, full of themselves. They strolled in like they owned the place, and I cringed to think about who they would be in five or ten years when they were considered adults.

  But then I reminded myself that most teen boys were like this and they didn’t all turn out to be like Count Sebastian Malavic.

  Also, these boys weren’t vampires. I wasn’t sure what they were, but I was certain they were living, breathing manboys.

  I looked around for Tanner, hoping he would pick up the table—after all, he would probably hit it off great with the kids because he usually did—but he was nowhere to be seen. I thought about distracting myself with something else and hoping he would emerge from the back in the meantime, but then I realized I was just being silly and a little bit lazy.

  Would these boys tip? Not a chance. But it wasn’t like I needed the money. And as owner of this place, I shouldn’t be trying to shirk my basic responsibilities.

  “Hello, gentlemen. How are you doing today?”

  The two boys glanced at each other across the table, and a devious look passed between them. “Much better, now that you’re here,” said one with strawberry blond hair, and a round, freckly face punctuated by a pug nose.

  The other boy, who had pitch-black hair and was probably a much bigger hit among the teen girls of Eastwind, snickered at his buddy’s weak come-on.

  I decided to ignore it. “My name’s Nora, and I’ll be helping you today. What can I get you started to drink? Coffee, orange juice?”

  “Not thirsty anymore,” said the blond. “I already have a tall drink of water right here.” He motioned to me from head to toe, and I arched an eyebrow at him, cocking my head to the side.

  “Nice one,” I said dryly. “I’m sure that works well on the tweens. Now do you want something to drink, or are you just going to sit here occupying a booth forever so that I can’t make a decent tip off it?”

  The dark-haired boy cackled, and the blond’s face turned pink. “You want a tip? Here’s one. You’re prettier when you don’t speak.”

  My mouth fell open, but I snapped it shut. I wouldn’t let him get to me. I turned to his friend. “How about you? Coffee? OJ?”

  “Coffee please, ma’am,” he said, smirking.

  That was more like it. “Great. I’ll be right out with it.”

  When I turned to walk away, though, is when it happened, and I was pushed right over the edge.

  Two fingers and a thumb—I could feel each one distinctly—grabbed the back of my pants, pinching my butt.

  I gasped and whirled around, expecting it to be the blond, but the blond, for all his many apparent faults, redeemed himself slightly by looking absolutely horrorstricken as he stared at his raven-haired friend.

  “Get out.” I could hardly speak without yelling.

  “You can’t kick us out,” said the offender. I wanted to knock the smug look right off his face, but I, being an adult and the bigger person, miraculously refrained.

  “I absolutely can,” I said. “In fact, I’m doing it right now.”

  Okay, yes, I was looking forward to this part. When I owned Chez Coeur back in Austin, kicking out inappropriate customers was often the highlight of my week. So, as off-balance as the pinch had left me, I had my feet under me now. I knew how to do this part.

  And I loved it.

  I stepped back from the booth, allowing them just enough room to squeeze by. I
knew they were just kids—dumb ones, yet kids, nonetheless— but if they were going to try to make me feel uncomfortable, I was going to do it right back. They had to learn sometime, and too many women felt unsafe standing up for themselves.

  It was my moral responsibility to humiliate these kids, is what I’m saying.

  At least, that was my line of reasoning while I was mildly hungover, irked at Hyacinth, and could still feel the spot on my left butt cheek stinging.

  The boys didn’t move. My best guess was that they were scared stiff. Perfect.

  “Did you not hear me?” I said, raising my voice. “I’ll say it louder this time, so maybe you hear me. Sexual harassment does not fly with me. Now you two little punks need to leave before I make you leave.”

  Not gonna lie. I took quite a bit of satisfaction from it when the restaurant went quiet and all eyes became glued to the two kids who, minutes before, had entered in such a raucous way that they clearly wanted all eyes on them. Be careful what you wish for, I thought.

  “You can’t kick us out,” said the dark-haired one, doubling down like a real idiot. “I want to speak to your manager.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, fine.” I turned my back on them for just a moment before I spotted Tanner and waved him over, hollering, “Got a second? This boy who grabbed my backside wants to complain about me to you.”

  Tanner’s face broke into a grin. “I dunno. I think they should talk to the owner about that.”

  I nodded. “Ah yes, good call.”

  “Fine,” said the cocky dark-haired kid. “I want to speak with the owner.”

  “Certainly,” I said. “Oh Nora!” I called over my shoulder, and his face twisted with confusion before I added, “Oh wait. That’s me.” Then I leaned close and said quietly but firmly. “Get. Out.”

  This time, both the kids hauled out of there, and didn’t look back. The tinkle of the bell above the front door announced the conclusion of the drama, and I breathed a small sigh of relief.

  I can’t be certain, but I think it was James Bouquet who started applauding first. The rest of the diner followed suit almost immediately.

  Tanner appeared beside me. “You were absolutely right, Nora, you don’t need me to stand up to men for you.”

  “They were hardly men.”

  “Still,” he said. “Sorry that my desire to help you with Seamus last night made you think I doubted your ability to take care of yourself. I don’t. At all. It’s one of the things I like about you, really.”

  Sheesh. Tanner was like a foreign entity I might never understand. For a second I tried to imagine those words coming out of the mouth of any of the other men I’d dated, and it seemed laughable. “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I can take care of myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a little help every now and then.”

  He nodded and patted me firmly on the shoulder, maintaining the “friends” act before leaning close and whispering, “I’ll help you any which way you want, Nora,” then striding away to clear an empty booth.

  Tanner’s perfection would be the death of me.

  At least I knew Ted was around to clean up my corpse whenever that day came to pass.

  Chapter Four

  “Definitely not your best performance today,” Ruby said, as she put a kettle of water on the stove and began scooping out herbs for tea.

  “It’s been a long day,” I replied. The hangover from the night before had cleared up by the end of my shift, but I still felt like I’d run a marathon. My back and feet were killing me, and my brain was sluggish. I’d had little left to give when it came time for my evening lessons.

  “That’s what happens when you stay out too late with your boyfriend.”

  Grabbing the stack of rune stones we’d practiced with on the parlor table, I placed them back in their box. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “Then you’ve made an egregious error somewhere along the way.”

  A tall cabinet by the front door housed most of Ruby’s magical tools, and I set the box in its assigned spot. The exact location on the shelf wasn’t difficult to find since it was the only space devoid of dust. Ruby hadn’t employed much of these tools before I’d tumbled death-first into Eastwind, that much was clear. Magic seemed to work like that here, though. People only needed tools at first. They were like training wheels or the bumpers in a bowling alley. Some people used them forever because it was easier that way, but the really powerful ones stopped bothering with them at a certain point. While Ruby wasn’t the kind to show off, I suspected she was much more powerful than she let on. Yet she was the only witch in Eastwind I’d met who was more reluctant to use their magic than Tanner.

  “You think being cautious is wrong?”

  “There’s a difference between caution and avoidance, dear. I’m cautious when I taste my stew for the first time. It could be too hot, or maybe I added too much rosemary. Or maybe the meat is undercooked. But once I get that first taste and realize it’s ready and waiting to be eaten, you think I just sit around staring at it? No. You’ve tasted the broth with that poor, lovesick boy. He’s just right. I’ve known him since he was just a kid, back before those witches did away with his parents—”

  “Wait, what?”

  “And I can tell you, he’s as good as they get. Honestly, I think you’re being a little bit stupid. You think some other girl isn’t going to come snatch him up the moment she can?”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said, “you probably have a point. But go back to that bit about Tanner’s parents. I knew they were dead, but I’d never heard—”

  A knock, knock, knock on the front door caught my attention, but only halfway, since my mind was still lingering on the new information about Tanner.

  I grabbed the handle, and before Ruby’s shout of “For fang’s sake! Don’t answer that!” could register with me, I pulled open the door.

  The blast of cold whooshed by me and through me, and I only just managed to stay on my feet. It screeched through the downstairs, causing Grim and Clifford to jump up from their spot by the fireplace. Grim tucked his tail between his legs to shield his sensitive bits as his ears laid back flat against his head.

  I held my hands over my ears as the wind began to scream like an overheating tea kettle. But as loud as it was, it didn’t manage to drown out Ruby as she screamed. “Oh no, you don’t! Not in my house!” She closed her eyes and held her hands a foot apart, palms facing each other as she began chanting in a tongue I’d never heard.

  The wind whipped around her, coming dangerously close to flipping her robes up over her head and giving me an eyeful of no-thanks.

  She ceased her chanting and clapped her hands together three times, and the dry, freezing wind whipped past me again, nearly knocking me over. It flowed faster and faster past me until suddenly it was gone, and the front door slammed shut behind it so hard, I thought it might fall off its hinges. The contents of the cabinet against the front wall rattled on their shelves, marking the departure of whatever I’d just allowed inside.

  “That’s unfortunate,” said Grim.

  “You know what that was?”

  “No, but I’d put money on this being the beginning of the end for us all. What’s that, Cliff? Yeah, good point.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “He said every moment of our lives is the beginning of the end.”

  I glanced at Clifford as he flopped down again and placed his big, red head on his paws.

  “Do you really insist on learning everything the hard way?” Ruby said, straightening her frazzled hair.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t think about it. What was that?”

  She ran her hands down her tangled robes. “Not entirely sure. Probably a demon.”

  “A demon?”

  She glared at me, unable to hide her frustration. “Well, yes, Nora. What else do you think knocks thrice? We’ve been over this.”

  “We haven’t been over it being a demon! I didn’t even know those were real.”r />
  “Of course they are. Not like heaven and hell, biblical kind of demon, but an evil entity, yes. And you just let it in.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She chuckled dryly and turned to the counter where tea leaves and herbs had been blown in every direction. She grunted. “We’ll have to wait and see. Likely be another case of caution, not avoidance. Maybe it’ll be good practice. Would’ve preferred we iron out the wrinkles of your love-life in some less threatening way, but life has never been kind to me, so I don’t know why it would start now.” She peeked in the tea kettle and cursed. “The water’s gone. That thing drank all the water!” Turning to me, her eyes shut, she inhaled deeply before saying, “Okay, not to put you into a panic, but if you don’t clean up the mess you just made, we’re going to have a real problem, you and me.”

  I backed away slowly toward the staircase. Ruby without her tea did seem like more of a threat to my life than any unnamed evil entity. “Got it,” I said. “I’ll start on it first thing tomorrow. Promise.”

  Then I sprinted up the stairs and into my room. I needed a good night sleep if I was going to tackle a mystery like this with so many unknowns.

  As I set out for work in the pre-dawn darkness the next morning, there was still a good portion of me that hoped the incident the night before had been a dream.

  I knew better, though.

  So instead, I held out hope that it was just a fluke, a one-time thing that didn’t actually require any further attention. Problem solved because there was no problem. Sometimes evil entities just dropped by on their way somewhere else, right? Maybe it got the wrong house, realized that, and skedaddled back to the spirit realm, on its merry way.

  But then I opened the front door and saw Ruby’s garden, and any notion of a best-case scenario flew away like an owl feather on the breeze.

  The minimal light from the streetlamp was enough to show me that there would be hell to pay once Ruby woke up.

  Her robust herb garden just beyond the porch of her attached townhouse, the same garden that she tended daily with painstaking detail and affection, was completely shriveled. Yes, it was the end of June, and it wasn’t exactly ideal weather for most plants, but just the day before, her rosemary bushes had been just fine. So had her sage, and her wormwood, and all the rest.