by Jon Chaisson
“Why isn't Governor Rieflin recruiting?” she asked.
“He's deliberately taking a non-secular view for the time being,” he said, shaking his head. It was a lame excuse and they both knew it. “He’s too busy trying to keep his council from doing anything stupid. His Spec Force Guards are still down at the Waterfront, and the BMPD are busy enough just keeping the peace, but his round table is a mess. That leaves us, Caren. It's what we do: Alien Relations. It's what we're supposed to do.”
Caren had been about to say something, but changed her mind. The BMPD rumors were right, the ARU had become a joke. Her job had gone from cultural peacekeeping to playing house sitter to petty grievances the BMPD should have taken care of. Denni certainly had raised the stakes, doing what she did. Which meant everyone here needed a hell of a lot more training.
“So...” she prodded.
“So just this afternoon, I’ve confirmed the Branden Hill chapter of Elders will begin taking on new milédayen-ne within the next few weeks. I've enlisted your teams one and two as part of the first wave of agents. I’m leaving it up to you as to whether you want to be ranked as a full-fledged Mendaihu agent…but we’ll be providing you everything you need to get to that point.”
A chill of excitement ran through her veins. She would take that next step, no doubt. She would follow in her parents’ footsteps, as she’d chosen so long ago. Taking this offer would not make her any more of a Mendaihu than she already was in spirit and blood, but it would make it permanent and official. She would do it because it was who she truly was. She would do it for the city she loved. And she would do it for Denni.
“Sa’im taftika, sir,” she said, and bowed towards him.
Caren returned to the office after returning briefly to the library to retrieve the file copies and datacrystals from Nick. Poe had given up on looking for Farraway and had gone down the street for lunch, and had returned no less irritated. “Hey there,” she said, dropping Nick’s packet on her desk. “Wondered where you’d gone off to.”
He gestured at the folders, frowning. “Anything I should know about?”
“Long story, I’ll tell you in a moment.” She took a moment to gather herself; he was in another cho-nyhndah mood again, so she had to tread lightly. He was getting better, but it was slow going. “First things first, some very interesting news: the Brendan Hill chapter of Elders are taking new milédayen-ne, and Farraway put the four of us on top of the list.”
“Oh, he's here?” he said, heavy with sarcasm.
“He is now,” she said, and explained his absence.
“Interesting,” he said. “I was wondering when he was going to bring that up. Mendaihu and Shenaihu training, I take it?”
Caren nodded. “Full escalated course, paid through the Unit.”
Poe frowned. “Not going to be intensive, is it?”
“Better than nothing, but I have no idea how it’s going to work, schedule-wise.”
He hummed, the corner of his mouth curling back in a frown. “And the folders?”
“Nick’s been busy,” she said. “Possible tangential link between yesterday and gang activity four years ago when he was on the South City PD.”
“You mean the tags, right? I saw them too, didn’t even think about them until recently.”
“I requested copies of his research just in case we need them.” She fanned the folders out in front of her, and felt an incredible urge to hide them away and forget about them. “I'm hoping we don't. Also, Farraway's putting extra detail on yesterday's victim, just in case he's as strong a Mendaihu as Nick thinks he is.”
Poe nodded, thinking that over. “An interesting turn of events,” he said.
Caren tilted her head at him. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, I'm just wondering if yesterday was just a one-off, or if there are more related attacks that aren't crossing our desk...say, if the PD or the Spec Force is covering them.”
“Goddess, Alec!” she snapped. “We've got enough crap to deal with! We don't need more!”
“Okay, okay...” he continued, waving his hand in the air. “Forget that. But still, we should find out if any other branches are reporting the same thing. Tags as well.”
“I get where you’re coming from…but I don’t see the point of it. Most of the ARU officers may have ascended to some degree, but they're far from adept. We can't have them depending on the ESD every time they have a suspicion. Hell, we should have seen them ourselves without it!”
“Caren, I’m not talking about —”
“We can't depend on the ESD all the time, Poe.”
“I know that!”
“We shouldn't have to depend on it at all.”
“Karinna...” he said between clenched teeth.
Caren stopped cold and stared at him.
He’d never called her by that name, ever.
Only then did she realize that she’d been reacting exactly in the way she shouldn’t have, reacting with pointless surface frustration. Her face burned with embarrassment. Hra khera, hra mehra...hra khera, hra mehra... she whispered, calming herself down. “Nyhnd’aladh,” she said quietly. But he had backed away, turning back to the paperwork that had been sitting on his own desk. “Poe?”
He turned slowly, regarding her distantly. “It's okay,” he said, forcing a smile. “Guess I had that coming.”
Shame washed over her. That wasn't fair! Now she felt guilty for an emotional reaction that he normally acted upon. She forced the shame away and focused on the folders in front of her. She didn't want this day to get any worse, and she'd be damned if it was going to end up like this, with neither of them talking. Frustrated, she distracted herself with the folders and started sorting through them.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Perception
Denni stood at the center of a wide and sloping field on a high plateau, looking through a gap in the tree line to the west, watching the sun as it sank below the far horizon. She’d wanted to arrive earlier in the day, but instead they’d landed just after the last meal of the afternoon at the Gathering Table. It would be another four hours before another feast would be ready, and there would not be many others to meet there. She wasn’t worried, though. They had all the time they needed.
“I recognize that shape,” Amna said, breaking the silence. She had moved some yards away, studying the shapes of clan sigils placed in small clearings across the field. She was pointing at the shape of a five-pronged Möbius strip of wheat-colored grass at her feet. It was the clan sigil of Ehramanis, her family. “My parents have something like that hung up on our wall at home.”
“Welcome to the Landing Field,” Denni said, joining her. “Do you know where you are?”
Amna looked up and smiled. “Trisanda,” she said quietly. There was no sense of awe or wonder emanating from her, just simple reverence. Denni admired Amna's respect for whatever earth she stood on. She simply drank her surroundings in, finding its beauty and treating it as a living, breathing spirit.
“Only a few of us can come here by Lightwalking at this time,” she said. “With some practice and a lot of patience, you'll be able to as well. We all will.”
Amna nodded, and glanced at her. “Things change when you come here,” she said. “You look different.”
Denni wore a simple and comfortable tunic and sandals. She found less restrictive clothes to be more her style here, both for comfort and mobility. In the small handful of times she'd visited Trisanda, she observed that her outward appearance meant little here. Amna must have understood that, for her own clothes had now begun to morph into a white blouse and a dusty brown calf-length skirt. She watched her own metamorphosis with much amusement.
Denni held out her hand. “Come on. There's someone I'd like you to meet.”
“Peace, Love and Light to you, eichi Amna Ehramanis,” emha Eprysia Kaalen said, bowing to her. “I am Ampryss.”
A little gasp escaped Amna's mouth. Her eyes went wide for a moment, but she refused to let
her jaw go slack. Instead she quickly bit her bottom lip, let it go a second later, and showed her the widest smile Denni had ever seen her give. She stared at this beauty of a woman, resplendent in a heavy black robe draped around her shoulders, a mass of fiery red hair framing a thin face and hanging down almost to her breasts. Amna's reaction had been nearly the same as Denni's, her vision of Ampryss being completely different from her perceived image.
“I am honored, Ampryss,” she smiled. Her words betrayed a slight tremor in her voice. “Honored to meet you. Peace, Love and Light to you.”
Ampryss guided them to the narrower end of the table, where most discussions took place. Denni glanced around quickly, curious to see who else who might be here. There were about twenty or so other Mendaihu and Shenaihu, all deep in their own conversation. They’d regarded her without much fanfare, apparently acknowledging her presence with minimal response, or not knowing who she was at all. She could not tell the difference.
Fesh piann, she reminded herself with a grin.
Dolan Usara arrived soon after, offering the three of them goblets of a sweet wine. Denni thanked him and offered him a seat. He stopped in place, about to turn back to his duties, and turned to face her. He gave her the oddest expression, starting with complete surprise and ending with excited appreciation. Denni smiled at his humble gesture of thanks, but glanced quickly at Ampryss. Had she spoken out of turn? The two times she'd come to the Table, Dolan was a quiet and friendly man who enjoyed company, but never participated in discussions. Ampryss did not react negatively to his presence; rather, she reached out and squeezed his hand as a sign of acceptance. He nodded quietly, flashing a brief smile at her.
“What brings the two of you to the Gathering Table, Dearest One?” Ampryss asked. “I gather all is well?”
“As well as can be,” she answered. “This is more of a continuation of our last conversation, emha. I wish to know more about the past and the future.”
Ampryss understood without asking for clarification of her words. “You are always welcome to visit your sehna lumia,” she said, and reached out to touch her hand. “As is Amna. No, Denysia, there are other things on your mind.” She grasped Denni's hand and squeezed tightly. “You question yourself, don't you?”
“I do, and quite often,” she blushed. “I'm not questioning my powers as the One, mind you. More of...well...”
“She doesn't feel like she's herself anymore,” Amna piped in.
Denni glared at her, her face crimson once more. “Amzi!”
“Calm down, you know I’m right.”
Ampryss let out a tiny laugh. “I completely understand, eichi. Once you have become more than what you once were, it takes time for the spirit to adapt. It’s an internal fight between adjusting — maturing, shall we say — and yearning to remain in its original form. The spirit craves change just as much as it craves stasis. All this is normal, and each spirit accepts it at its own pace.”
Denni nodded, but couldn’t make herself face Ampryss directly. She cherished her words, but they weren’t the ones she needed to hear. She’d willingly and joyfully accepted that her fate was to bring Love, Peace and Light to those around her. So why had this new fate of hers become so aggravating?
“You expect much,” Ampryss added after a few moments. “You're expecting those around you to fall at your feet, which is not what they wish to do. I can tell it is not what you wish them to do, either. Denysia, this is the most peaceful and balanced acceptance of an Embodiment that I have ever witnessed. It is as if you had changed them somehow, and well before they knew they had been changed.”
Despite her discomfort, she had to agree. She had expected them to bow in reverence, no matter how slight. She didn't want reverence, just recognition. It conflicted with her emotions, as she did not feel she was worthy of that adoration, no matter who she was or had been. No, she had merely expected someone to come and help her in her duties as the One.
Perhaps she was not yet ready to be the One of All Sacred.
“Perhaps...” Dolan Usara began, leaning ever so slightly forward. “Perhaps you need to read your own sehna lumia before you visit those of the Previous Embodiments and make that judgment, Denysia.”
She stared at him, more out of surprise than anger. Had he just read her thoughts?
“I can only guess what you're thinking, Denysia,” he added. “I merely read emotions, and yours are not guarded at all. Anyone who knows how to do it can read them clearly. I do not mean to insult you...I am merely informing you of a potential hazard.”
Goddess, he was right! She calmed herself quickly and nodded at him. “I’ll keep that in mind,” Denni said.
“You are still young,” he said. “Yet as the One of All Sacred, all of time belongs to you. Perhaps you feel as though nothing is new anymore, now that the One knows everything?”
“I know far from everything, Dolan,” she said flatly. “I’m learning something new every day, especially now that I'm the One.”
Dolan let out a laugh. “Interesting, Denysia...I never would have expected humility from the Dearest.” His smile warmed her unexpectedly, so much so that she recognized its familiarity. He was looking at her almost exactly like Dad would have...a proud, caring gaze, head slightly down and a crooked grin on his face. She nearly caught her breath as the memory of her father came rushing back to her. If he had felt this sudden rush of emotion, he did not mention it.
“Are you in need of a guide towards your sehna lumia, Denysia?” he asked.
“As a matter of fact, I am, Dolan,” she said. “I'd be honored to have you.”
“Honor has nothing to do with it,” he said. “I'm as curious about this event as you are. Whatever we can find we can work out together, if that's all right by you?”
Denni studied him then glanced at both Amna and Ampryss. Why would he be so interested in the Ascension of the One? Or perhaps no one here understood it, or had not bothered to, at least not to the degree she was aiming for. Dolan voicing his interest was enough for her to accept his offer. She reached out a hand towards his. Tentatively, he covered his hand over hers.
“Of course,” she beamed. “Shall we start?”
He nodded silently, a hint of excitement in his eyes. A second later, he took Amna's hand. She felt a spark of energy, some kind of...
We're traveling again, aren't we...?
Denni had just enough time to turn and watch Ampryss stand up from her seat and back away. She couldn't see the reaction on her face, but her emotion sensing told her that she had not been invited on this journey. Ampryss had accepted that fact kindly and turned back to her duty as Watcher of Worlds. Denni tried to cry out to her, but could not find the breath to speak. She turned back to Dolan, only to find his form phasing and morphing into something unfocused and unreal. She felt Amna's hand in hers, could grasp it, squeeze it, could even feel the flow of energy between the two of them, but she could not focus on her either. She had become a white mirage.
Then, at the edge of asphyxiation, she felt a breath within.
Do not fear death, it said. It is only the beginning of something new.
Then she felt nothing.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Dissonance
Kai walked into Caren and Poe's office and immediately felt the dissonant energies pushing at her. She wavered at the door, suddenly lightheaded, and reached for the doorframe to steady herself. The anger and frustration bled out of the two agents and pushed hard against their walls of protection, feeding on itself and growing worse. Kai had to react fast.
Piann nyhndah nehko aladh imhsha!
A cold and tense energy rippled out from her body as she spoke those words, tearing through everything in the room. Lights flickered, papers rustled, and the two ARU agents jolted out of their chairs, eyes wide.
She glared at them. “Pashyo, what in the Name of the One is wrong with the two of you?” She pushed herself off the door frame and moved to the center of the room. “You're just about to
bleed each other dry. This is a trying time, I know...but this is not how a Mendaihu acts.”
“I'm not quite a Mendaihu,” Caren muttered. “I’m sure you already know that.”
Kai stared icily at her. The temptation to knock some sense into her was so strong she had to force herself to remain calm. She couldn't even trust herself to say anything at that moment.
Poe, on the other hand, had said nothing, not even bothering to look at her. He was so fiercely trying to avoid confrontation by focusing on the work in front of him that she could feel that absence of Light clearly. Goddess, he's got nuhm'ndah in him.
“Fine,” she said. The both of you, come with me.” She grabbed both their collars and stepped into Light before either one could protest —
— and stepped back out, far away from their cramped office in Branden Hill. They stood atop the Crest of Breed's Hill, in the Wilderlands conservatory just north of Bridgetown. They stood perilously close to the outcropping of rock that dropped away at a sharp angle, jagged rocks eagerly staring at them from seventy feet below.
Poe nearly lost his footing as he whirled back at Kai. “What the hell are you —”
Shut up, Alec, and listen to me, Kai growled. Karinna, you will also listen. I will accept no interruptions.
“N....nyhnd'aladh,” Caren muttered, head bowed low.
No apologies here. Not now. This is not how a Mendaihu Gharra is to act. The both of you, sit down. This all ends now!
Poe's face whitened as he dropped to the ground. Kai had never gotten this mad before. She could have absorbed the residual energies whirling around their office, but she knew most of it had come from within. Poe had been playing victim to his errant emotions for too long now. He knew he could control them and chose not to.
Caren still held herself so tightly in check, despite the outward change in eagerness. She could have easily let that impenetrable wall she hid behind come down, and had chosen not to. She was afraid to let herself fully accept who she was...or even who Denni was. Even if she showed this acceptance, her spirit still pushed these truths away. Yesterday’s events had made that all too clear for her.