The Nanny's Secret Child

by Lorraine Beatty

  His reflection in the mirror mocked him. “You really stepped in it this time, Montgomery.” His thoughtless comment about Julie’s skill in running his home had been one of his more boneheaded moves. He’d meant to compliment her, express how his life had been upside down without her there. All he’d done was relegate her to hired help. He didn’t blame her for being hurt. She’d given him the cold shoulder ever since.

  Today was his brother’s wedding. He would marry the woman of his dreams and become a father. His heart twisted with conflicting emotions. He was happy for Linc. His brother was a terrific guy, and he deserved to be happy. But his happiness only highlighted Gil’s growing desire for a complete family, a woman to stand by his side and help raise his daughter. A woman who loved them both.

  Picking up the can of shaving cream, he sprayed a glob onto his fingertips. “You are a selfish jerk, Montgomery.” He’d asked the Lord to return his child to him and vowed to never ask another thing. One of those negotiating prayers people made when they were desperate. Well, his prayer had been answered, and now he was whining because he wanted more.

  Julie had a life of her own. So did he. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends. As soon as he had a moment today, he’d pull her aside and ask her forgiveness and try to express his gratitude in a more personal way. From the heart and not his practical, clueless brain.

  He wanted things to return to the way they were. He missed her laughter, her intelligent conversations and her questions about his work. And yes, he missed her home cooking, too. So sue him. Coming home to a house without her presence left him feeling abandoned. He never wanted to feel that way again.

  Clean shaven and dressed in his tuxedo, Gil put Ruffles in her cage and headed out. Julie had taken Abby to the church early to get her dressed and fix her hair. All he had to do was show up and stand beside his brother.

  With a few minutes to spare, Gil went in search of Julie when he arrived at Peace Community Church, only to find he wasn’t allowed in the bride’s room. He sent a message for Julie to step out. She searched his face with worried brown eyes.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, I just wanted to see how Abby was.”

  A bright smile lit her lovely face. “She’s adorable.”

  As if hearing her name, his daughter pushed out of the door and stood in front of him, holding out the skirt of the frilly dress. “Isn’t it beautiful, Daddy? It’s my favorite dress ever.”

  “You look like a real princess.”

  She touched the flower ring in her hair. “Julie fixed my hair. Isn’t it pretty?”

  “It is.”

  Julie nudged Abby back into the bride’s room, her bright smile revealing her pride and delight. “She’s going to steal the show from Gemma.”

  “I agree. Julie, I wanted to talk to you for a second.” Her smile faded, and she stepped back.

  “Later, okay? I’ve still got things to do here. I’ll see you at the reception.” She turned and went back in the room, closing the door behind her.

  There was no way he could misinterpret her actions. The topic was closed for discussion. He’d have to try a different approach. Right now he had a wedding to participate in.

  Chapter Eleven

  Julie took her seat in the sanctuary, a pew midway down the aisle and on the end so she could have a clear view of Abby as she scattered her petals. The church was empty. Guests would be arriving soon. She’d delivered Abby in her sweet white dress sprinkled with tiny lavender flowers and a wide lavender sash to Francie. She’d looked adorable. Dark hair pulled up into ringlets, baby’s breath wreath on her head. Sometimes it was hard to reconcile the timid, withdrawn little girl with the happy one she saw now. For all her anxiety over remaining in Gil’s home, seeing her daughter grow more confident and happy made it all worthwhile.

  The church looked lovely, decorated with large white floral arrangements and puffy lavender bows accented with baby’s breath. The old church with its beautiful stained glass windows, dark wood moldings and historic architecture needed little else to enhance it. A sense of peace permeated the building. If she ever got married, she’d want it to be in a church like this. A small, intimate wedding with only the important people to witness it.

  Her gaze drifted around the space, landing on the altar awaiting the happy couple. Out here in the pew, seated alone, the chasm between her and the Montgomerys was more evident than ever. No matter how comfortable she felt with Gil and Abby, how accepted by Francie, she could never be a part of this family. As Gil had pointed out, she was the nanny. Hired help they appreciated.

  It was her own fault. She should never have started on this fool’s journey. Di was right. She’d created her own mess, and she’d have to live with the consequences.

  She barely noticed when the guests started to arrive. She kept her gaze forward and moved only to allow others into the pew. It wasn’t until Nancy Scott took a seat beside her that she had to pull out of her troubled thoughts.

  Thankfully the music started, eliminating the need for small talk. Every aspect of the intimate ceremony was perfection. Julie’s gaze locked on Gil as he and Linc stepped to the pastor’s side. Linc looked nervous, his eyes trained on the back of the church, waiting for a glimpse of his bride. Gil looked breathtakingly handsome in his tux. It emphasized his broad shoulders and lean length. Her mouth went dry. He met her gaze and her cheeks warmed, unable to keep from smiling. He smiled back and winked, bumping up his attractiveness another level. The tux only made him more irresistible. Not that he needed any help.

  She glanced away as Gemma’s sister, Beatrice, came down the aisle in a simple pale lavender tea-length gown and took her place at the front. Abby and Evan came next, and Julie bit her lip to keep from exclaiming her delight. They looked adorable. Evan in a little tux, holding the ring pillow as if it were glass, Abby daintily tossing petals with great care. She’d never been more proud of her little girl. But she couldn’t tell anyone. Couldn’t share her pride because no one could ever know.

  Thankfully the bridal march sounded and the guests rose to their feet, distracting her enough to regain control of her emotions. Gemma was a stunning bride. Her cream-colored lace gown skimmed her trim figure and flowed softly around her ankles. She came down the aisle alone. Julie had heard through the rumor mill that Gemma’s parents wouldn’t be attending the ceremony. Her heart went out to the woman. Family discord could skew many happy moments.

  The ceremony was simple and sincere. Linc looked at his bride with a love that brought an ache to Julie’s heart. She would never know what it felt like to have a man gaze at her with such adoration.

  Francie had invited her to the reception at the main house. She’d tried to decline, but Gil’s and Abby’s pleading made that impossible. The wedding ceremony might have been small and intimate, restricted to family and close friends, but the reception had been thrown open to the whole town. That meant that she could slip away after paying her respects. She’d never been good at making chitchat in large crowds.

  The wedding party would be staying at the church for pictures, so Abby would be coming to the reception with Gil. Julie decided to go on to the Montgomery home. Maybe she could slip away and take a walk through the lovely old oaks that surrounded the property until Abby and Gil showed up. Then she’d go home and try to put this day behind her.

  * * *

  Gil caught a glimpse of Julie as she left the church. He wanted to talk to her, to be close to her. She looked amazing today. The deep blue dress that skimmed her figure made her dark eyes sparkle. He’d seen the admiration in her eyes when she looked at him. What woman could resist a tuxedo? Too bad they were so uncomfortable, or he’d wear one every day just to see that look in her eyes every moment.

  The photographer called everyone together, and Gil pulled his thoughts away from Julie. He’d track he
r down at the reception. Abby had made her promise to stay until she arrived, so he had a good chance of getting her alone to talk. He wasn’t going to let the sun go down today until he’d explained his thoughtless comment.

  An hour later he and Abby pulled into the drive of the main house. Cars already filled the drive and the space around the cottage. Gil dropped Abby off at the front walk, then pulled his car around to the back. Tents had been set up on the side lawn near the small pond on the property. The whole town had shown up to celebrate his brother’s marriage to Gemma. It did his heart good to see the support and affection for Linc.

  He rounded the corner of the main house, his gaze searching out one slim dark-haired woman. He started in the house but didn’t see her. Abby was too busy playing with Evan and a few of her school friends. After wading through the never-ending sea of well-wishers, Gil began to worry that Julie had gone home. He couldn’t leave the reception. His mother would be furious, but he needed to talk to Julie.

  Making one last sweep of the front yard, he strolled toward the cottage. His mother had a large flower garden in the area between the main house and the cottage. The azaleas were starting to bloom, and the wisteria arch Dad had built for her was dripping with the lavender blossoms. A faint creaking sound from the garden stopped him. He knew that sound. Dad had tried everything to stop the noise, but he’d never been able to.

  The creaking continued. Gil stepped onto the path leading to the arbor, and found what he’d been looking for. Julie sat in the old swing, one hand clutching the chain as she moved back and forth.

  “The last place I looked.”

  Julie jerked around. “What?”

  He joined her on the swing. “When you’re looking for something, it’s always in the last place you look.”

  She chuckled. “That’s because you stop looking.”

  “You’ve found my mother’s favorite spot. She calls it her thinking place.”

  “I can understand why. It’s beautiful and soothing here.”

  “Did you need soothing today?”

  “In a way. Weddings are always times to look back on our past.”

  “Or forward to our future.”

  “It was a beautiful wedding. Linc and Gemma looked so happy.”

  “They are. He’s a lucky man. And she’s got herself one special guy.”

  “Weren’t Abby and Evan adorable?”

  “She did a great job. I was very proud of both of you. You looked beautiful today.”

  She scanned his torso in appreciation. “So do you.”

  He nodded to acknowledge her compliment. “But I didn’t track you down to talk about the wedding.”

  “Gil...”

  “I want to explain about what I said yesterday. It didn’t come out the way I intended.”

  “So I’m not a good nanny?”

  “No. I mean yes, of course, but you’re more than that. Julie, you have to know how important you are to us. You went way beyond the scope of a nanny. You are special, Julie. I don’t think I could have reconnected with Abby without your help.”

  She shook her head. “You would have gotten there. I just helped things along.”

  “But the difference is you cared. You didn’t have to do that. You could have come in, drove Abby to and from school, watched over her until I got home then left. But you didn’t. You care enough to find ways to reach Abby. The dog, the father-daughter dinner and talent show, that was all you.”

  “I didn’t want to see you and Abby living so far apart. She needed her father, and it was clear how much you loved her.”

  Gil reached out and trailed a finger down her cheek. “I’ve never known anyone with such a caring heart. Not just for Abby but for me. Everyone. I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.”

  “I missed you both, too. But I can’t stay forever. You know that.”

  “Abby won’t be happy when you leave.”

  “I’ve tried to prepare her. We talk about it, and I assure her that I’ll keep in touch.”

  “Are you sure you have to go to Paris?” The smile in her eyes faded, and she rose from the swing, sending it bobbing on the chains.

  “It’s something I’ve worked toward for a long time.” She turned to face him, catching her hair in the branches of the climbing rose covering the arbor.

  Gil jumped up, gently trying to untangle her wavy hair from the thorns. “Hold still.” He stepped closer, slowly pulling the silky strands away from the bush. Her soft whimpers as he tugged on her hair tore through him, and he stepped closer. When the last strand was freed, he brushed her hair from her face, letting his hand linger in the waves. “All better.”

  She lifted her gaze to meet his, her lips slightly parted in a thankful smile. “My hero.”

  “It’s the tux. It makes women think we’re heroic. Even if we’re just ordinary guys trying to find our way around.”

  Julie touched his bottom lip. “You are the most confident man I’ve ever known. There’s nothing ordinary about you.”

  The look in her brown eyes bolstered his courage. Whatever the outcome, he needed to hold her one more time. He slipped his arms around her waist. When she didn’t resist, he tilted his head and captured her lips. Her arms encircled his neck as she returned the kiss. Her fingers slid into his hair, and he tightened his hold. He couldn’t tell whose heart was beating. All he was certain of was that Julie was meant for him. She was part of him.

  Julie ended the kiss, inhaling quickly. “I’d better go.”

  Gil understood her confusion. His emotions were doing somersaults, too. Before she could move, he cradled her face in his hands and placed one more tender kiss on her lips. “We’ll talk again later.”

  She nodded, then hurried down the path, disappearing into the distance.

  Something had changed between them. But he couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

  * * *

  Julie stared out the front window of the Square Cup Coffee Shop Monday morning, enjoying the arrival of an early spring. The azaleas in the courthouse square were ablaze with vibrant shades of pink, coral, red and lavender. Spring had always been her favorite time of year. Her most cherished memories had occurred in the spring.

  She closed her eyes. And now she had another one to add to her catalog. Gil’s kiss had shaken her and opened a chamber in her heart that had been sealed shut for a long time. The fierce tenderness of his kiss, the sense of belonging she’d found in his arms, had sent her scurrying away, like Cinderella from the ball.

  Her emotions had been suspended between supreme joy and deep anxiety. If she were free to love Gil, her joy would keep her floating on air forever. But she wasn’t free. She was trapped in an impossible situation with no honorable way out.

  “Welcome back,” DiDi said as she slid into the chair across from her and smiled.

  “It’s good to be back. I really missed this place.”

  “I like that. You didn’t miss me. Just Dover?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I’m afraid I do.” DiDi scowled. “How’s Maryann? Did you tell your folks about Abby and about your little nanny project here to check on her?”

  “Maryann is touch and go right now, but she’s getting the best care possible. My folks and I have talked everything out. I told them about Abby. They’re thrilled but sad at the same time.”

  “Understandable. I’m glad you reconnected with them.”

  “It went better than I ever imagined. It feels good to be back in the family. I’m only sorry they can’t meet Abby. They would adore her.”

  “You’ve always known that was how it had to be.”

  “I know. But that’s when the idea was abstract. Now it’s very real.” Julie shrugged off the sober thoughts. There was no way she could go back and chan
ge the past. She had to move forward.

  DiDi leaned toward her, looking directly in her eyes. “Facing the truth is always best and far less painful. You might think you’re protecting others, or hiding your shame, but all that does is complicate matters.”

  She lowered her gaze to her coffee. The truth of her friend’s words penetrated to her core. She knew she was right, but how would she go about straightening out the mess she’d made?

  “Julie, you’ve got to come clean. You’re in too deep to keep this quiet any longer. You’re going to hurt the man you love and your little girl.”

  “I don’t love Gil.”

  “So now you’re lying to yourself about that, too?”

  “Even if I am, I’ll be leaving soon. Another week, tops. Then it’ll all be in the past, and no one needs to be hurt at all. Why can’t you understand?”

  “That’s just it. I do understand, and look what keeping pointless secrets does. It hurts everyone.”

  “It’s not pointless.”

  “That may have been true that first week, but now it’s a big old elephant following you around everywhere you go. Sooner or later someone is going to notice, and the truth will come out. Wouldn’t it be better if you took charge and revealed the truth on your terms?”

  Julie wrestled with the situation the rest of the afternoon. Telling the truth now was too risky. But keeping silent had its own risks.

  * * *

  Tuesday afternoon Julie sat in the family room, replaying the memories she’d collected over the past weeks. Except, the house felt empty without Gil. She missed his strong presence and the sound of his deep, commanding voice that always made her feel safe and protected. She had to be realistic. Her fairy tale was ending, and the sooner she accepted that the better.

  Gil and Linc had flown to Houston this morning to meet with Al Thompson, the general contractor who had expressed concerns about the stability of Montgomery Electrical. He’d texted that the meeting had gone well, and he was confident things would turn around for their business. He’d thanked her for her suggestions and said they’d be home later today. She was pleased she could help, but it wasn’t his gratitude she ached for. She wanted his love. But that was something she didn’t deserve.