The 57 Bus
Page 16
He slept in the lower berth of a metal bunk bed. The top berth had no mattress and he used it to display the vocational and educational certificates he’d earned at Chad, the squares of colored paper arranged in orderly lines.
Beside them, he placed a printout of the poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
He had another two birthdays still to celebrate behind bars, his nineteenth and his twentieth. Sometime before his twenty-first, a Crown Victoria cage car would take him back to Alameda County Juvenile Hall, where he would be processed and then released.
After that, he would finally complete the journey home he began on the afternoon of November 4, 2013.
After that, the next chapter of his life would finally begin.
1001 NO-LONGER-BLANK WHITE CARDS
In January 2016, just before going back to school for their sophomore years of college, Sasha and Michael got together at Maybeck to play the index card game. The game was still fun, the in-jokes still funny, even if some of the references had been lost in the mists of time. Sasha could still effortlessly layer a lisp over a Russian accent when the cards required it. Michael still wore a gray beanie, which was good because there was still a card that said Steal Michael’s beanie.
“Have you ever heard of a little word called they?” Sasha remarked after pulling Lunesta Sleeping Pills, a card that used he/she pronouns (Player must play with his/her forehead on the table). It was an old line, one that dated from when Sasha was first trying to get people to remember gender-neutral pronouns.
Except now it was a joke instead of a reminder. Nobody needed reminding except the card, which had been written before Sasha was Sasha.
A couple of days earlier, Michael and Sasha had digitally scanned the full stack of index cards for posterity. As they went through the deck, they’d paused over the ones that mentioned someone named Luke.
One featured a drawing of a pen and a bottle of ink. Luke’s Fountain Pen, it said. Draw a card.
It was kind of a weak pun—not nearly as good as many of the cards that came later. But after talking it over, the two decided to leave the Luke cards in the deck.
After all, Sasha said, they were part of the historical record.
A lot had changed since the beginning of high school, including Sasha’s name, pronouns, and style of dress. But in all the important ways, Sasha was still Sasha. They still loved cats, cartoons, games, and hats. And they were still, as they’d once written on their blog, the biggest bus nerd u will ever meet.
Now that love of buses had become an academic focus. They had decided to major in urban planning and hoped to eventually get a job designing or improving public transit systems. “I might take public transit even if I wasn’t in love with it,” Sasha explained. “But the reason I’m studying it is because I have this personal love for it.”
That love, well, you could ask Sasha to explain it, but you’d be wasting your time. They could no more explain loving buses than they could explain loving the color purple. “I’m an autistic kid with a special interest,” Sasha said, and smiled. “That’s probably the best answer I can give.”
SOME GENDER-NEUTRALITY MILESTONES
2007
Nepal’s Supreme Court orders the government to issue citizenship ID cards that allow people to describe themselves as “third-gender” or “other.”
2013
Australia gives citizens a choice of three official genders: male, female, and X.
Germany gives parents a choice of three gender options when filling out a newborn’s birth certificate: male, female, and indeterminate.
2014
Facebook begins allowing users to self-identify as something other than male or female.
Denmark gives its citizens the choice of three official genders: male, female, and X.
2015
The White House designates a gender-neutral bathroom for visitors and staff.
Target announces they’re removing gender-based signs from their toy and furnishings aisles.
Malta and Nepal join the list of countries offering their citizens the choice of an official third gender.
The Oxford English Dictionary adds the gender-neutral prefix Mx. to its lexicon as an alternative to Mr., Ms., Mrs., and Miss. It also adds the word cisgender.
Disney removes the gender categories from its Halloween costumes.
The Washington Post updates its style manual to allow writers to use the pronoun they to refer to an individual, calling it “the only sensible solution to English’s lack of a gender-neutral third-person singular personal pronoun.”
The American Dialect Society chooses the singular gender-neutral pronoun they as their Word of the Year.
Amiko-Gabriel Blue, a resident of Ashland, Oregon, goes to court to legally change their gender to “neutral.” The request is denied but afterward the judge tells a reporter, “I would have been happy to do it if I thought it was legal.”
2016
North Carolina passes the Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act, requiring people to use public bathrooms according to the biological sex on their birth certificate.
Merriam-Webster adds the words cisgender and genderqueer to the dictionary.
The Obama administration directs the nation’s schools to provide students with access to bathrooms and locker rooms that match their chosen gender identity.
A retired US Army sergeant named Jamie Shupe receives permission from an Oregon court to legally change their gender to nonbinary, becoming the first US person to do so.
2017
After losing, according to Politifact, an estimated $500 million dollars in revenue and the chance to host the 2017 NBA All-Star game, North Carolina lawmakers vote to repeal the state’s Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act, known as “the bathroom bill.” But while the replacement legislation eliminates the requirement that people use the bathroom for the gender they were assigned at birth, it keeps state legislators in charge of future bathroom policies.
The Trump administration eliminates the Obama administration guidelines that directed schools to provide transgender students with access to bathrooms and locker rooms matching their gender identity.
The Showtime drama Billions introduces Taylor, television’s first nonbinary character.
The MTV Movie and TV Awards become the first major acting awards to eliminate gendered categories for performance. Emma Watson won the all-inclusive category Best Actor award, which was presented by nonbinary actor Asia Kate Dillon.
SOME NUMBERS: US JUVENILE INCARCERATION
(Figures are the most current available as of 2016)
Number of juveniles held in correctional facilities on any given day: 54,148.
Average cost of juvenile incarceration for one twelve-month stay: $146,302.
Percentage of juveniles who are African American: 16.
Percentage of incarcerated youths who are African American: 41.
Percentage of African American youths who do their time in an adult prison: 58.
Number of people currently serving life sentences without the possibility of parole for crimes committed as juveniles: 2,570.
Cost of incarcerating one juvenile for life: $2.5 million.
Percentage increase in the likelihood that a person will be incarcerated as an adult if they have been incarcerated as a juvenile: between 22 and 41.
Percentage of confined youths who have witnessed someone severely injured or killed: 70.
Percentage of confined youths who report having been physically or sexually abused in their lifetime: 30.
Percentage of confined youths who have been sexually
assaulted while in custody: 9.5.
Percentage of confined youths who have attempted suicide: 22.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
So many people have been so generous with their time, expertise, recollections, and insights as I was researching this book that it would take another book just to thank them properly. Here are a few of them.
Sujatha Baliga, nuri nusrat, Kate McCracken, Anna Blackshaw, Maria Dominguez, and Darris Young shared their knowledge and insights about the legal proceedings. Bill Du Bois patiently fielded my incessant inquiries, as did Teresa Drenick and Nancy O’Malley. Assistant superintendent Brian Hopson at Alameda County Probation Department and assistant superintendent Craig Watson at N. A. Chaderjian Youth Correctional Facility were gracious guides through their respective institutions.
Staff at both Oakland High School and Maybeck High School took time to talk with me despite having their own demanding jobs to do. A heartfelt thanks to Matin Abdel-Qawi, Arianna Caplan, Carlitta Collins, Earnest Jenkins III, Tiago Robinson, Jesse Shapiro, Orlando Watkins, Amy Wilder, and especially Kaprice Wilson at Oakland High School. Grateful thanks also to William Webb and Trevor Cralle at Maybeck.
This book started out as an article for The New York Times Magazine, where Dean Robinson, Jessica Lustig, Bill Wasik, and Jake Silverstein improved it in countless ways. Both at the Times Magazine and later through his own outfit, the Verificationist, Rob Liguori pinned down facts and contributed observations of his own. Without him, there would be no sandwich. Any remaining errors are my own.
Filmmaker Lonny Shavelson generously gave me access to interviews and raw footage from his wonderful documentary about nonbinary people, Three to Infinity. Important parts of this book were seen through his eyes.
The description of the Oakland High basketball team’s pregame huddle is taken from Playing for Sasha, Playing Against Hate, a short film by the Oakland nonprofit Not in Our Town. I discovered the still-timely quote from John P. Altgeld in the fascinating book Juvenile Justice in the Making by David S. Tanenhaus. Many young people took time to talk with me. Some were quoted, some were not, and some asked not to be named, but all helped make this book what it is. Thank you to Michael Birkhead, Carrie Carpenter, Teah Cory, Ian Gonzer, Eve Irwin, Thomas Kelly, Cherie, Healy Miller, Emarieay Prescott, Willie Scott III, Sabrina Tern, as well as Andrew, Nemo, Liam, Lidell, TC, Jeff, J., and Pancha.
Every writer should be lucky enough to have an agent like Erin Murphy and an editor like Joy Peskin—smart, savvy, committed, and kind. They have been guiding beacons throughout.
I’m grateful to both Alex Gino and Nicholas Henderson for reading and commenting with tremendous sensitivity and thoughtfulness. Thanks also to Nancy Elgin and Chandra Wohleber for going over the text with a fine-tooth comb.
My husband and son were always there to talk things over with me during the three years I spent researching, writing, and ruminating. Their love, wisdom, and humor made everything easier, and their expertise on many matters was indispensable.
No words are adequate to describe my debt to the two families whose stories are at the heart of this book. Their grace, kindness, and compassion were an inspiration to me throughout. Sorry you had to put up with me for so long.
CREDITS
Excerpt from “Hir” included with the permission of Alysia Nicole Harris and Aysha El Shamayleh.
Excerpt from the Division of Juvenile Justice 2010 Youth Rights Handbook included with the permission of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation.
About the Author
Dashka Slater is the author of the picture book Firefighters in the Dark. She lives in Oakland, California, with her husband and son. Baby Shoes was inspired by her son’s first pair of shoes, which stayed white only a few minutes longer than the ones in this story. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Author’s Note
Monday, November 4, 2013
Oakland, California
PART 1: Sasha
Tumbling
Pronouns
1001 Blank White Cards
Luke and Samantha
Gran Turismo 2
How Do You Know What Gender You Are?
Genderqueer
Gender, Sex, Sexuality, Romance: Some Terms
Sasha’s Terms
Becoming Sasha
Bathrooms
Bathrooms Revisited
Skirts
Running
The Petition
Clipboards
Best Day Ever
Dress Code
Sasha and Nemo
PART 2: Richard
Book of Faces
First Day
An Old Friend
Oakland High School
Miss Kaprice
The Princess of East Oakland
The Best Mother Ever
Hopes and Prayers
Where He Left Off
How It Was Before
Fighting
Arrested
Now It’s a Good Day
If
Murder
Working
Stripped
Trust Issues
Resolve
PART 3: The Fire
Monday, November 4, 2013
The 57 Bus
4:52 p.m.
Fire
Watching
The Man with the Mustache
Phone Call
The Rim Fire’s Revenge
The Ten O’Clock News
Locked Out
Maybeck
Shyam
I Knew My Baby
The Interview, Part 1
Miranda Warning
The Interview, Part 2
The Interview, Part 3
A Man in a Kilt
This Is Real
Booked In
Surgery
Still Kinda Dying
Charges
Direct Files
Court Date
Reeling
The Desk
Under the Influence of Adolescence
Life at Bothin
Not Visiting
The First Letter
Into the Briefcase
Skirts for Sasha
The Second Letter
Let’s All Take Care of Each Other
Homophobic
What They Sent
No H8
Y’All Don’t Know
The Circle
Skinned
God Is Good
Does It Have to Be Me?
Back at Maybeck
Worst Days Ever
Reunion
PART 4: Justice
Binary
Cruel and Unusual?
Back at Juvie
What If?
Not Ready
What to Say
Always Okay
We the People
Pretty
Dancing
Ripples
Ass Smacking
Restorative Justice
Not Wanting To
The People vs. Richard ____
Tired
Department 11
Maybe
Suitcase
A Prayer
Bargaining
The Deal
The Fine Print
A Structured Environment
Look Where His People Went
Victim-Impact Statement
Nerd Fraternity
How It Ended Up
Mail Delivery
Chad
Opport
unity
Then and Now
Risky Thinking
Progress Report
A Level of Maturity
Andrew and the Binary
Birthdays
1001 No-Longer-Blank White Cards
Some Gender-Neutrality Milestones
Some Numbers: US Juvenile Incarceration
Acknowledgments
Credits
About the Author
Copyright
Farrar Straus Giroux Books for Young Readers
An imprint of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010
Text copyright © 2017 by Dashka Slater
All rights reserved
First hardcover edition, 2017
eBook edition, October 2017
fiercereads.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Slater, Dashka, author.
Title: The 57 bus / Dashka Slater.
Other titles: Fifty-seven bus
Description: First Edition. | New York: Farrar Straus Giroux, [2017] | Audience: Age: 12–18.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016050815 (print) | LCCN 2017029126 (ebook) | ISBN 9780374303259 (ebook) | ISBN 9780374303235 (hardcover)
Subjects: LCSH: Fleischman, Sasha. | Thomas, Richard, 1997– | Assault and battery—California—Juvenile literature. | Hate crimes—California—Juvenile literature. | Asexual people—California—Violence against—Juvenile literature. | Victims of crimes— California—Juvenile literature.
Classification: LCC HV6618 (ebook) | LCC HV6618 .S56 2017 (print) | DDC 364.15/55092279466—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016050815
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eISBN 9780374303259