Still, she couldn’t quite bring herself to pull away from him totally. Just another minute, she told herself. Another second.
She stood in the quiet, darkened room with her body pressed against his. One of his hands held her face against his neck. The other pulled her close in an iron grip.
Her body was doing treacherous things. Her pulse was thundering, her breathing ragged and shallow, her limbs turned to mush. She felt boneless and breathless in his arms.
“It’s all right,” he said.
His lips were a fraction of an inch off her right ear, his warm breath fanning it in a way she found incredibly erotic.
“It’s all over now.”
She imagined those lips against her skin and shivered in anticipation.
Did he feel it, too? Or was she making an absolute fool of herself? Laura pulled away from him just enough to try to figure that out. Was it her imagination? Her own wishful thinking? Or did his arms tense around her for a fraction of a second before letting her go? She couldn’t be sure.
But when she brought her head up off his shoulder, when he lifted his head, as well, their lips were about half an inch apart.
She froze. So did he, as if the two of them were held there by some intangible force. She was afraid to breathe, afraid of breaking the spell he’d woven around them.
She looked at those soft, full lips of his. She could have lost him today without ever knowing how it felt to be in his arms or to have his lips pressed against hers.
She wanted his lips on hers. She could just imagine the texture of them, the taste of his mouth, the way it would feel as the sensations shot through her body.
He was going to kiss her; she was certain. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her mouth.
Laura closed her eyes, blotting out everything but the image of his face, and tilted her lips up toward his, anticipation rushing like the finest and most intoxicating of champagnes through her veins.
He was going to kiss her.
And then he hesitated.
“Nick,” she said, his name sounding like a desperate plea.
Still he hesitated. She imagined that she could feel the struggle going on inside him, her own sense of urgency growing.
A kiss couldn’t possibly matter this much to her, yet this one did.
She could feel it. She could taste it. She wanted it so badly that—
He backed away, his eyes refusing to meet hers now, his jaw sensing to the hardness of steel.
Laura’s eyes flew open. Her face flamed. The temperature in the room dropped twenty degrees in half as many seconds.
What in the world had happened?
Laura found no reassurances, no clue to what was going through his head. Gone was that lost little boy. Surely she’d been foolish to imagine she’d ever seen anything like that in him.
The other Nick was back, the guarded man with the hint of arrogance who’d so irritated her in the hallway the night before. It was as if a wall had come down between them, as if he’d put on some sort of cold, uncaring mask that he wore at will.
Laura stepped completely away from him, folded her arms in front of her and rubbed her hands against the side of her arms. She was cold, and she decided he must have ice water running through his veins, because he didn’t seem to be feeling anything at all.
Laura thought about calling him some vile name. Childish as it was, she would do it—as soon as he tried to deny that something had happened in this room between the two of them. She was certain he would deny it, certain she had nothing to gain by bringing it up, except to further humiliate herself. Surely she didn’t need to do that; she’d done such a thorough job of it already.
But she wanted to know—what happened? What went wrong? Like one of those lovesick teenage girls who’d been out on one incredible date with the cutest boy in school, only to never hear from him again, she had to know why he’d backed away like that.
And where did he go? The man who stroked her hair so tenderly. The one who risked his life to save Rico. The one who promised her everything was going to be all right.
She was going to risk the humiliation again and ask. Then the door opened and a man in green hospital scrubs came inside.
Laura couldn’t do anything for a minute. She couldn’t tear her attention away from Nick, couldn’t harness her anger at what he’d just done to her. And then she turned to introduce herself to the doctor. But the doctor addressed Nick first, the look on his face one of surprise.
“I’m Dr. Stephens,” he said, extending a hand. “I understand you’re a doctor, as well?”
Nick nodded, hesitated, then extended a hand, also. “Dr. Garrett.” He looked even warier of this doctor than he had of her only moments before. “Dr. Nicholas Garrett.”
“And you’re in pediatrics?”
“Psychiatry.”
Nick, as cold and remote as she’d ever seen him, watched the doctor. The doctor watched him, then Laura watched as recognition dawned.
“Of course,” the doctor said. He withdrew his hand from Nick’s, then stared at him with intense curiosity, then something Laura couldn’t begin to describe.
Pity? Disdain? Contempt? All those possibilities ran through her mind, though none of them seemed to fit.
Pity? For someone like Nick?
She was thoroughly confused, and it took her a minute to respond as the doctor introduced himself to her. Laura explained that Rico’s mother was nowhere to be found and that Rico would hopefully be in Laura’s custody soon. The doctor went on to discuss a myriad of possibilities and likelihoods regarding Rico’s injuries with her. Frustrated and worried, Laura asked him to get to the bottom line and was relieved to hear that Rico was likely going to be fine.
They were still waiting for some test results to come back, but didn’t expect to see any problems. They were going to watch the bump on his head, but unless something unforeseen happened, he could leave the hospital tomorrow.
“Thank you,” she said, turning to Nick. “Anything else? I don’t even know what to ask.”
Nick shook his head, then thanked the doctor curtly.
“Well, I guess now we just wait for this young man to wake up. The nurses have orders to notify me when that happens, but I don’t think there’ll be any problem.”
“Can I stay with him tonight?” Laura asked.
“Of course. We’ll see if we can round up a cot for you.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
Laura watched him go, then faced Nick. “What was that about?”
Nick gave nothing away.
“That doctor... your name meant something to him, Nick. And then he seemed to recognize you. Why?”
“Ask him,” he said, moving away from her. “You’ll find out sooner or later anyway. Go out into the hall and ask him. I’m sure he’ll be happy to explain it all to you.”
“But...”
“I’m not going to talk about this with you. I don’t talk about this with anyone. If you want to know, you’re going to have to ask him. Or someone. It’s certainly no secret. Half the city of Chicago could probably explain it to you.”
“But Nick...”
“Ask him.”
Laura hesitated for a second, wondering if there was any right way or wrong way to handle this situation, wondering if this was some sort of a test.
She believed him when he said he wouldn’t talk about it with her. Obviously whatever this problem was it was too painful for him to discuss. Curiosity got the best of her, and she walked into the hall.
“Dr. Stephens?” she called after him as he made his way down the corridor.
“Yes?” He turned around.
“That man ... Dr. Garrett?”
“Yes?”
“You know him from somewhere?”
“We’ve never actually met.” The doctor looked uncomfortable.
“But you know him,” Laura insisted.
“Not exactly. I recognized him from the television news and the papers.”
&
nbsp; “Why?” she asked. “What happened to him?”
“He didn’t tell you? And he’s working with the boy?”
“No, he’s just—” She started to say he was just a friend, but that didn’t begin to describe him. “He was at the shelter last night and today. He knocked Rico out of the way of the car. He saved his life.”
“Oh, I see.”
“See what?” Laura asked, desperate now. “Because I don’t see anything. Who is he? Why does his name and his face mean something to you?”
The doctor hesitated. “I don’t know if I should be the one telling you this.”
“If you don’t, I’ll go find someone right now who will.”
“I don’t really know that much about it.” He tried to put her off.
“That’s all right. You know more than I do.”
Still the doctor hesitated.
“I have to know,” Laura said.
He paused for a minute, and she thought he was going to refuse to say anything else. Then finally he started to talk.
“There was a boy—a high-school student, I think—who died last summer. And Dr. Garrett was brought up on charges in connection with his death. Negligence, I think, or maybe professional misconduct.”
Negligence?
Misconduct?
Nick?
“No,” she said.
The doctor threw his hands up in front of him to hold her off. “I really don’t know any more than that, and it’s been almost a year since it happened.”
“I can’t believe that,” Laura said.
“It was in all the papers. I’m sure it couldn’t be that hard to find the information.”
Stunned, Laura stood there.
“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “I have to go. I have patients waiting for me.”
“Of course,” she said, grateful for some time alone to think this through.
She leaned against the wall, then saw a chair nearby and sank into it. She kept picturing Nick, his deep, dark eyes; rich, brown hair; those lips. She saw the bruises and the bandage on his face.
He could have been killed. Rico could have been killed. How many men would put themselves between a speeding car and a little boy they barely knew?
Laura swallowed hard, unable to reconcile the image of the man who’d nearly kissed her with the one the doctor had drawn for her.
She couldn’t do it.
With her eyes closed, her head bent, Laura thought about the people with whom she worked, with whom she fought and begged for something her kids needed. As a teacher she ran into selfish people, uncaring people, impatient ones, superficial ones, even negligent ones. She learned to figure out quickly who was a friend and who was a foe.
She thought about Nick, about how much she wanted to believe in him and in her ability to judge people. Could she trust her instincts now? Not just for her sake but for Rico’s.
She thought about the bleak look in Nick’s eyes, that fleeting impression she’d had of some lost, wounded little boy, then recalled the dangerously handsome man with more than a touch of arrogance.
Which one was real? Which one was the image? Which one was the man?
She had to find out....
Chapter 6
Nick stood there in the near darkness of the hospital room. With his back to the boy lying unconscious in the bed, he stared out into the rain and thought about Laura.
She would know by now, and he couldn’t say why that upset him. After all, he had dared her to go ask someone about him. She wanted to know what happened to him, and he certainly wasn’t going to explain the whole sordid mess to her.
She had a right to know, he thought. She loved the little boy lying in the hospital bed, and she wanted Nick to help him. Before he did that, she should know what happened with the last kid he’d tried to help.
Sooner or later, she was sure to find out. She might as well find out now, preferably before he kissed her.
Nick snarled at the thought. He wanted very much to kiss her. He should have done it when he first had the chance, because he wasn’t likely to get another one.
Strangely enough, he didn’t remember the last time he yearned for a simple kiss from a woman. And not just any woman would do. He wanted to kiss Laura Sandoval, teacher beyond compare, defender of little boys and men who’d somehow lost their way.
He wanted some of her optimism, her hope, her determination, to rub off on him. He wanted to try again, to put his life back together, if he could find the courage.
Nick wondered if he’d ever be able to hole up inside his apartment for days at a time again, not doing anything, not wanting anything, not feeling anything.
And he wondered if he’d ever get the chance to kiss Laura, then called himself ten different kinds of a fool. Why did it mean so much to know how she would react to him when she found out all his secrets? Surely she would be like nearly everyone else.
She would see him merely as a curiosity, and she would stare, the same way people turn their heads and slow down when they pass some gruesome car accident on the road.
Either she would hate him for what happened or pity him, and he didn’t care to be on the receiving end of either of those emotions.
Nick couldn’t let himself care that much about what Laura or anyone else thought of him. By now he should be immune to what people thought. He would go on living just as he had for the past year, at least in professional circles.
If he was in any sort of professional circle.
He paused as he considered that. Was he actually thinking of going back to work? Or considering what he would do with the rest of his life if he never went back to practicing psychiatry?
Did he even care what he did now?
Maybe he did. And Laura was responsible for that change in him.
“Damn,” he muttered. He could have happily gone on for a long time without caring about himself or his future, and she’d robbed him of that.
Nick meant to go, but he took one glance back at the little boy lying in the bed. What kind of trouble had Rico gotten himself into?
Even if Nick wanted to make it his business, he doubted Laura would let him near Rico again, now that she knew what had happened to Carter Barnes.
Nick was leaving Rico’s room, thinking about escaping back into that black hole otherwise known as his apartment, when the hospital paging system came on.
“Dr. Garrett... Dr. Nicholas Garrett ... please call the hospital operator.”
He flinched upon hearing his name broadcast through the hospital, and he could imagine a hundred pairs of eyes following him as he stepped into the hallway. How would he ever get out of this building? He wouldn’t be able to leave fast enough.
As he turned and headed for the nurses’ station and a phone, he nearly collided with Laura.
She pitched forward. Instinctively his hands shot out to catch her. Nick swore softly as his fingertips curled around the soft flesh of her upper arm.
He looked down at her, half expecting her to tense up on him, to be unable to hold in her displeasure at having him so near now that she knew the truth. But she didn’t do anything like that. There was no scorn or pity in her eyes, either. Instead her gaze, steady and direct, met his, her expression unreadable.
“Did you find out what you wanted to know?” he asked as he released her. He’d almost convinced himself she didn’t know.
“I found out something that’s very hard for me to believe.”
Nick wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He was stunned. Would she always show him something totally unexpected? He felt something that vaguely resembled hope.
Cautiously, he weighed his options, only then realizing how much he wanted her to believe in him. That need came to him now, staggering in its intensity, frightening him because of the possibilities that had just opened up between them. He cared about her opinion of him, which gave her enormous power over him.
She could hurt him so easily.
Nick wanted her to believe in him.
He stepped back, looked to the left toward the wall and fought the feeling. He’d told her himself that he was nobody’s savior. But he wasn’t the arrogant, uncaring, even sloppy doctor Carter Barnes’s parents had portrayed him as.
He had to warn Laura, to be fair to her and maybe to protect himself. “If you’re smart, Laura, you’ll forget all about me,” he said.
“And if I’m not?”
He swore. She grabbed on to his arm when he turned away from her.
“Did you think of that, Nick? Were you hoping that some bit of gossip would be enough to scare me off? Or did you wonder, just for a minute, what might happen if I wasn’t willing to believe it?”
He went so tense be was surprised his veins could take the pressure. He closed his eyes. Hell, yes, he’d thought about that. If that doctor and whatever he knew about Nick’s past weren’t enough to scare her off, then Nick would have hope. Real, true, honest reason to hope.
Damn her for making him hope like that.
“What did he tell you?” Nick asked. He had to know.
“Does it matter? I don’t think it’s true, and I don’t see why I should listen to gossip when you know exactly what happened and you’re standing right in front of me. I’d rather have the truth, Nick, from you, when you’re ready to tell me about it, not some half-forgotten memory based on nothing but TV news reports and the papers.”
He laughed sarcastically; he couldn’t help himself. “I’m sure that man’s half-truth was more than enough for most people I know to have tried and convicted me.”
“I’m not most people.”
She said it softly, almost seductively. He wanted so desperately to believe her, and Nick watched as she came alive again, the she-tiger who’d so fervently defended Rico and his mother to him last night. She was on his side now. How would it feel to have someone like Laura on his side for a change?
“Why don’t you tell me about it, Nick?”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can.”
“I don’t talk about it. Not to anyone.”
“You?” She couldn’t seem to believe that. “A psychiatrist who can’t bring himself to talk about his problems to anyone?”
“Ironic, isn’t it? My life gets all screwed up, and as a bonus I find out I have no faith in my own profession to help me.”
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