“Nick-”
His name came booming over the paging system again, the request more urgent this time.
Nick was incredibly relieved. He was saved. “I have to answer this. Besides, Rico was stirring when I came out to take this call.”
She didn’t buy that completely, but she turned toward the boy’s room. “Don’t you walk out on me again,” she challenged.
Nick admired the lady’s nerve. Hell, he admired just about everything about her. Wistfully, he walked down the hall and took his call.
He lied to her. Rico wasn’t moving at all, and Laura was fighting the urge not to open that door and look out into the hallway to see if Nick had indeed disappeared.
She knew he was thinking about that, knew she couldn’t stop him if that’s what he wanted to do.
And she still couldn’t remember anything about what had happened to him and that boy who died.
The doctor said he was a high-school student, that it happened last summer and that Nick had been charged in connection with the teenager’s death.
She thought back to this time last year, saying goodbye to her last class of students, filling out paperwork, catching up on a million things that needed to be done around her apartment, waiting for the new school year to begin.
She thought about A.J. telling her to cut Nick some slack because he’d been through a rough time, thought about the bleakness in Nick’s eyes, the way she felt he was being arrogant in wanting her to recognize his name, when actually he was dreading it. Laura shook her head sadly. She had totally misread this man.
Now, what did she hear last summer about a high-school boy being killed? Unfortunately, that wasn’t a terribly rare occurrence in the city. And usually the cases that made news were the deaths of the very young—eight, ten, even younger. But Dr. Stephens had said Nick was involved in a high-school boy’s death.
She couldn’t remember. But she couldn’t believe Nick had caused a child’s death through his own negligence or some professional misconduct.
Behind her, the door swung open. Laura turned around, and was relieved to see Nick walk in.
“He’s not waking up,” she said accusingly.
Nick didn’t show any interest in arguing that point with her.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“I’m not sure.”
“Or are you just trying to change the subject away from you and whatever happened last summer?” she taunted.
“Maybe I am, but with good cause this time,” he said.
“What is it?”
He shrugged. “I just don’t like the sound of this.”
“Of what?”
“Whatever is going on with Rico. Laura, when he ran out of the shelter this morning, I was across the street.”
“Where we were standing last night?”
He nodded. Some emotion flashed in his eyes. He hadn’t forgotten. “I’ve been over and over it in my mind. I can’t be sure, but I think I must have stepped onto the street to cross when Rico ran in front of that car. Otherwise I don’t think I would have reached him in time to knock him out of the way.”
“Go on.”
“I looked both ways before I ever stepped off the curb. There was nothing coming. That car seemed to appear out of nowhere, and it wasn’t going that fast. I don’t see how the car could have gotten to Rico in time to run him down, because it wasn’t there when I stepped off the curb.”
Laura was hoping she didn’t understand the situation at all. “You mean...”
“I don’t think it was an accident. I think someone deliberately tried to run him down”
She swallowed hard, the muscles in her throat not wanting to cooperate. “To kill him, you mean?”
Nick nodded. Laura clamped a hand over her mouth and tried not to say anything for a moment. She might have swayed on her feet, might have made some involuntary sound; she couldn’t be sure. But the next thing she knew, Nick had her by the arms. He backed her up until she felt the bed behind her knees.
“Sit down,” he commanded.
She sat. He stood there in front of her, looking as strong and as sure of himself as she’d ever seen him, and she sensed that this was the old Nick, the one from before that other boy died, the one in command and in control.
“Oh, Nick,” she said, hating what had happened to him, hating what he thought was happening right now with Rico.
“Give it a minute,” he said.
His hands rubbed at the tension in her arms, then her shoulders. She sighed, leaned her head back against her shoulder, then, when one of his hands gave her the slightest bit of encouragement, let it fall forward against his chest. He rubbed her shoulders some more, his hands strong, the motion smooth and soothing.
Laura found herself close to tears again as she thought of the implications of what he’d suggested. “He’s just a little boy.”
“I know.”
“Why would anyone want to hurt a little boy?”
“That’s what we have to figure out.”
We? Did that mean he was going to stay and help her and Rico? Or had he simply used the word without thinking?
She wanted him to stay, and she thought he needed to stay, as well. Last night, one of the kids at the shelter told her Nick hadn’t been there in months. He’d simply dropped out of sight. She wondered if he was working at all, if he still had a license to practice.
She hoped that he did and that he could find a way to help Rico, and she hoped she wouldn’t make an absolute fool of herself over Nick in the process.
Much as she wanted to stay right there, with her face pressed against his chest, his hands gently working their way across her back and shoulders, she pulled away from him.
“Think about it,” he said, stepping back and standing up straighter, bracing himself against her. “Why would someone be after him?”
Laura shook her head, barely able to keep up with all that he was saying and all that was going on between them. Rico. For now she had to concentrate on Rico.
“He lives on the North Side of Chicago, not far from the projects. Kids get killed for no reason all the time.”
“In a drive-by, sure, but this didn’t feel like the work of a gang. They would have shot him.”
“I don’t know,” Laura said.
“I thought about the gangs first, thought he might have seen some drug deal or some hit, that they might be after him because of what he saw, but it doesn’t fit.”
“What else could it be?”
“I don’t know,” Nick said. “He must have seen something that frightened him. That must be the reason he isn’t talking. And I’m afraid this may be a lot more complicated than I thought.”
“Why?” He was keeping something from her, and she wouldn’t let him do that.
“When the hospital operator paged me, I had a phone call from A.J. Someone called her back to the shelter today because a policeman showed up asking questions about Rico. The policeman wanted the clothes Rico was wearing last night and the shoes.”
She went cold all over when it came to her. “Because of the bloodstains?”
Nick nodded.
“For evidence? Because they think some sort of crime was committed and he was in the middle of it?”
“Exactly,” Nick said. “But there’s one little problem. No one could find the clothes. They turned the shelter upside down. Those jeans and the sneakers have disappeared.”
Laura was still thinking about crimes and evidence, so she had trouble making herself consider the rest of it. The clothes were gone? She was so surprised she couldn’t say anything. This situation just kept getting worse, and like someone who’d fallen into a maze, Laura didn’t know what to expect next or where to turn.
Except to Nick. She always found herself turning back to him.
“The shelter is a busy place,” she said, looking for excuses, needing to find them. “There were all those kids, coming and going all the time. Someone may have simply stolen them.”
/>
“Maybe, but A.J. knows those kids. She checked her list of most likely thieves and came up with nothing.”
“Still, anyone could have just walked in off the streets...”
“No, there’s someone at the door all night long. He was already on duty when you went back inside last night. You and Rico were in that room, where the clothes were. You spent the night there, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but I took a shower this morning before Rico woke up. And I went to the kitchen for some coffee. Someone could have come in then. Or last night, when I was outside with you.”
“It’s possible,” he admitted.
“But you don’t believe lit.”
“I’ve seen a lot of rotten things happen to kids.”
“So have I, Nick.”
“And Tend to be a little cynical”
“Tell me something I don’t know. What do you think happened to Rico’s clothes?”
“There was blood on the clothes. Obviously, someone was hurt. And Rico was there. I think whoever hurt the person whose blood is on Rico’s clothes is after Rico now, to make sure Rico doesn’t tell anyone what he saw.”
That was so hard to believe. “I was just worried about him missing school,” Laura said. It was amazing the way things had gotten messed up so quickly.
“I meant to ask you earlier—did anyone come up with any information on his mother yet?” .
“No,” Laura said, wondering how she’d be able to restrain herself once she saw the woman again. “But she’s disappeared before.”
“And you said she does drugs?”
Laura nodded.
“Maybe Rico saw something to do with her supplier.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s a place to start,” Nick said. “Do you know the name of the detective working the case?”
Laura found her purse and fished a card out of the side pocket. “I talked to two different officers. One of them gave me his card.”
“Let me call him and see if he found out anything yet.”
She handed him the card. “Nick?”
He looked up at her.
“I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re going to help us.”
He considered that for a minute. Laura held her breath, hoping they were past arguing the point.
“I’m not making any promises,” he said.
“I didn’t ask for any.”
He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the door. His chin came up as he watched her, measured her reaction. Clearly he wasn’t sure what to make of it.
She took one step closer to him. “I owe you an apology. I think I misjudged you.”
She took another step toward him, and he reminded her once again of. those little boys at school. They were so good at sending out those signals: don’t touch me, don’t try to get any closer to me, don’t ask anything of me and you won’t be disappointed. They were so good at convincing most people how bad they were, that they didn’t need anyone or anything. And they all desperately needed someone to see through their act.
Laura could see all those emotions so easily in Nick now.
There was only one problem—he wasn’t a little boy. He was a man. Laura knew all about helping lost little boys, but frighteningly little about doing the same thing for a grown man.
A gorgeous, hurt, angry man, she amended. What did a woman do with a man like that, especially when she felt this compelling urge to touch him?
Touch, at its most basic level, was reassurance. She was with him, she understood something of what he was feeling and she cared about him. Those were the kinds of reassurances lost little boys needed most of all.
Laura wondered if she could treat Nick like one of those little boys. She meant to do nothing more than to reassure him, to thank him—a simple gesture with a simple purpose.
But it didn’t feel simple or easy anymore. And the urge to touch him only grew stronger.
She wondered if anyone ever touched him anymore, if he deliberately held himself away from everyone because of what had happened to him. She could just imagine Nick locking himself away from everyone.
Some of her kids in the classroom were like Nick—starved for the simplest touch, the smallest bit of encouragement. She gave all of that and more to them. Surely she could do the same for this man who’d done so much to help Rico already.
Knowing that a very big part of what was going on in this room had absolutely nothing to do with Rico or with hopeless cases or lonely people, Laura moved even closer.
Part of this—a big part, she feared—was simply one woman reacting to one man. It hadn’t been so long that she didn’t recognize the stirring of desire when she felt it—not once she got over the surprise, at least.
“Oh, Nick.”
“What did the doctor tell you about me?” he said, every instinct on alert.
“It doesn’t matter.” She believed that.
“How the hell can you say that?”
Obviously she’d touched a nerve. She tried to reassure him. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t true. I’m sure of that.”
Laura decided it was now or never. Before she lost her nerve, she brought one of her hands to rest softly against his chest, as a test.
He allowed it to stay there. She smiled, encouraged by the reaction. Maybe he wasn’t as far gone as she feared.
“Laura, you need to know that whatever that doctor said, I’m sure at least part of it’s true. I screwed up, and a teenager was shot to death because of it.”
Her other hand rested tentatively against his jaw. She felt heat coming off him, felt that smooth texture of a freshly shaved patch of skin, felt the way he tensed at her touch. She couldn’t decide whether he was surprised by the fact that she was actually touching him or whether he was even more worried than before.
“I don’t buy it, Nick,” she said, running on sheer instinct now. “Not for a minute.”
“It’s the truth.”
She moved forward, before she succumbed to the warning in his eyes. The hand at his chest she used for balance as she stood on tiptoe.
Laura hadn’t been so bold with any man before, but she liked this feeling. She suspected the only reason he let his lips touch hers was that she’d caught him by surprise. Nevertheless, it was working.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“For being here. For trying to help Rico and for helping me.”
“Laura.” He said it like a warning.
“Admit it, Nick. You are one of the good guys. You told me so yourself, although now I don’t think you quite believe it.”
“I can’t promise you anything,” he said.
“But you’re going to be here for Rico. You’re going to help me help him. I know it. I can tell by the look on your face when you’re with him. You care about him. You couldn’t make yourself walk away from him now if you tried.”
“Laura—”
“Thank you, Nick.”
She leaned forward, kissed him softly on the lips, intending to do no more than to apologize for being so harsh with him last night.
That was all she intended—to touch her lips to his. But the instant they connected, she felt something that set her heart racing, her mind reeling. It was electric and powerful and mystical all at the same time. It was a connection involving much more than his lips and hers.
He felt it, too. Her eyelids flashed upward, and she found herself looking into his eyes.
An instant later, his hands closed over hers in a grip that allowed no resistance. He pushed her away, then stared at her as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Didn’t you hear me? I said I screwed up and a teenager died because of that.”
At that moment he reminded her of a kid who’d just told her his deepest, darkest secret and was now waiting for the retributions he expected to follow.
“I heard you,” she said quietly and calmly
He looked incredulous. “You c
an’t say that doesn’t mean anything to you”
Obviously it meant everything to him. Laura wondered exactly what the last year had been like for him. If he had made a mistake, a fatal one, Laura was sure that he’d been harder on himself than anyone else could have been.
She also had a hunch about something else. “I don’t think it was your fault, Nick.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, you don’t even know what happened.”
“So tell me.”
He shot her a look that said “Go to hell” as clearly as any words could have. “You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”
“But I’ve found out a lot about you in the past twenty-four hours.”
“Laura.” He sighed heavily, then gazed at the ceiling, at the walls, anywhere but at her. And he still had hold of her arms. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t butt into my life like this.”
That hurt.
“Aw, dammit,” he said.
She caught him staring at her then and heat flooded her face.
“Laura...” He was almost begging her. “Don’t ask me to make any promises that I can’t keep.”
“I haven’t.”
He looked like a man backed against the wall. Painfully, he said, “I haven’t worked in almost a year.”
She couldn’t say that surprised her. “All right. Go on.”
“The idea of having that little boy depending on me to help him scares the hell out of me.”
She took a minute to think about that. He was scared. She’d never considered that. The mannerism she took for a damning touch of arrogance was actually fear?
She should have seen that. Nick had merely put on some tough-guy act, similar to what Rico had done so many times. How about that? She’d found a man who could admit to being afraid. She liked him even more for that. She knew all about being afraid, although she was sure it was a totally new emotion for Nick.
She smiled at him and wondered if he’d let her kiss him again. She doubted it. And she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that anyway. If she felt that adrenaline rush again, that power and excitement skimming through her veins, she wasn’t sure what she’d do. Never in her life had she felt so much from a simple kiss.
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