A Little Help from Above

by Saralee Rosenberg

  “Oh wow.” Shelby’s eyes welled up. “It is sort of the same story.”

  “That’s what I’m saying. I know how it feels to fear regret. And to love someone so deeply you don’t think you’ll be able to breathe unless they love you back.”

  “I had no idea you felt that way…At least your story has a happy ending.”

  “Yes, it does. Although take my word. There were plenty of times I had my doubts.”

  “Why?”

  “You of all people should know why. You made Daddy and me miserable. You’d run around the house screaming how much you hated me, and that I messed up your life, and what right did I have trying to pretend I was your mother…. And I’d say to myself, maybe she’s right. Maybe I made a mistake thinking I could take over where my sister left off. Maybe they would have been better off without me…You could really hit below the belt, my dear.”

  “I was only ten.”

  “Shelby, you were never ten.”

  She nodded, understanding for the first time the pain Aunt Roz must have endured, waiting all those years in the wings, then finally getting to be in a warm, committed relationship with the man she loved, only to be treated like the enemy by his daughter.

  “But that’s all in the past.” Aunt Roz lifted Shelby’s chin. “Like you said. The story has a happy ending.”

  “I am so sorry.” Shelby started to cry. “Truly sorry.”

  “It’s okay, dear.” Aunt Roz hugged her. “Somehow we survived. It’s like that nice song I used to sing from…what was the name of that show?”

  “See Saw?”

  “Yeah, See Saw. Remember? ‘It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.’”

  “‘It’s not how you go, it’s how you land,’” Shelby sang. “I don’t remember the rest.”

  “Me, either. I’m just saying what’s important is we’re together again, we’re here for each other, we can be in the same room and not start a world war…”

  “It is great.” Shelby sniffed.

  “And another thing. Your mother would be so proud of you right now. The way you overcame all your mishegas to help Lauren. The way you’ve been such a big help to us. Visiting every day, making sure the doctors and nurses did everything they could for us…she would be kvelling from ear to ear.”

  “I know.”

  “She loved you girls so much. You were her whole life.”

  “Did she…” Shelby started. There was something she was desperate to ask, even if she didn’t hear the answer she wanted. “Did she love Daddy, too?”

  Aunt Roz sighed. “To be honest? Not right away. But she learned to love him. Just like he learned to love me.”

  Shelby took Aunt Roz’s hands. “I think he made a wonderful choice when he married you.”

  Aunt Roz’s newly healed jaw dropped. “Thank you, dear. I never thought I’d live to hear you say that.”

  “Well thank God you did,” Shelby kissed her stepmother on the cheek. “Thank God.”

  Having Eric home was not at all what Shelby expected. The boy who used to burp and fart in her friends’ faces, the boy she used to call Porky Pig, was now a frail, quiet man of twenty-eight who looked as if he’d just returned from battle. Which he had. For the toll from his years as a cocaine addict was markedly clear. He was a shell of his former self.

  Shelby even found it difficult to converse with him, as his attention span was limited and his interest in small talk only marginal. Nor did he seem to comprehend the enormity of what had happened to his parents, evidenced by the fact he continually commented on how nice they looked. The equivalent of mentioning to a Vietnam vet it looked like he lost a lot of weight, thinking he’d appreciate the compliment.

  “Don’t worry,” Irma assured her. “He’ll come around. It just takes time.”

  “But there’s so much I need to share with him,” Shelby argued. “About the accident, and the whole business with DES, and me being Lauren’s surrogate, and finding Matty…”

  “Fine. You’ll tell him everything. Just not all at once.”

  “And what do you suggest that I say about who his real father is? In case you were wondering, he was right under your nose the whole time?”

  “That I would handle a little more delicately, dear. It’s possible he suspected it all along, but even so, it will be a big shock to his system. Maybe your father should be the one to handle it.”

  “No way,” Shelby snapped. “My father had twenty-eight years to handle it, and didn’t.”

  “Then I suggest you build up to it. Eric is very vulnerable now, and I’m not sure your style is well suited for breaking unexpected news.”

  “That is so not true,” Shelby argued. “That’s why newspapers pay me the big bucks!”

  “Well then let’s just say this isn’t the time to be cold and blunt.”

  “Are you suggesting I don’t know how to use discretion?”

  “I wasn’t even aware you knew the word.”

  Shelby wanted to clobber Lauren. Here she’d spent time ordering in a delicious dinner so the three siblings could sit around a kitchen table and get nostalgic. At the same time, she also wanted an opportunity to speak to Eric about his true birthright while he could seek comfort in the confines of his family.

  Instead, Lauren, giddy with excitement, was monopolizing the whole conversation, going on and on about Danny, Danny’s son, Danny’s practice, Danny’s love of antique cars…

  “And what does good old Danny boy think about you being a mother of twins?” Shelby decided to lay her cards out on the table, along with the pasta primavera.

  “He thinks it’s great. He’s a child psychologist,” she explained to Eric. “He loves kids.”

  “Yes, but have you discussed my pregnancy in terms of how it might affect your relationship?”

  “Shel, c’mon. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything. We just started dating.”

  “I know. But I also know how you get when you fall in love. You don’t see anything. You don’t hear anything…”

  Eric pushed his food around on his plate.

  “I’m not in love, okay? We’re just good friends. Which is fine because I’m not ready for another serious relationship now, and besides, he’s not sure he wants more children…”

  “Excuse me?”

  Lauren swallowed hard. “What I mean is, right now he’s very happy with his one child. But he did say maybe one day in the future he’d want a bigger family.”

  “Eric, pay attention.” Shelby shook his arm. “Did you hear what your sister, the brain surgeon, just said? She’s not even legally separated from her husband yet, but she’s already dating a guy who said flat out, no thanks to more kids, oh and about those twins your sister is carrying for you, what’s her refund policy?”

  “Shelby, stop! He said nothing like that. You’re making too big a deal out of this. I still want the babies if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “Yes, but what if a few months from now you realize you’re hopelessly in love with him, and he refuses to commit to you because you’re the mother of two?”

  “I think I can get him to change his mind,” Lauren whispered. “I still have a few months.”

  Shelby gripped the table and repeated the most inane comment she’d ever heard. But before she could rip into Lauren about her moronic plans to convince Danny Siegel he should be the next Mr. Brady Bunch, Eric finally spoke.

  “It’s been a long day for me and I’m kind of tired. I’m going to go upstairs now.”

  “No wait.” Shelby added more pasta and salad to his plate. “Can’t you hold out for another few minutes? Lauren and I had something important to talk to you about.”

  “I told you I don’t like white sauce.” He pushed her fork away. “You’re worse than Mom.”

  “Sorry,” Shelby retreated. “It must be my maternal instincts kicking in. Eat, bubbeleh, eat.” But when Eric was not amused, Shelby tried to remember if he’d always been a picky eater, or if his appet
ite was just suppressed from his drug days. Trouble was, with the ten-year age difference, they’d spent little time together. Not to mention her resentment of his getting much of their father’s attention didn’t help matters.

  “What did you want to talk about?” Eric stabbed a piece of lettuce.

  “Um…how do you feel about being an uncle?” Shelby smiled.

  “He’ll be great,” Lauren piped in. “As long as he’s nothing like Uncle Marty.”

  “Wasn’t he the worst?” Shelby said. “On Mommy’s birthday he’d wait to see if we invited him out to dinner so he’d get a free meal at a fancy restaurant. But not once did he buy her a card.”

  “Did it ever occur to you he might not have had the money?” Eric sniffed.

  “Oh, please. He always had plenty of money for booze and Belmont Raceway.”

  “Why are you so judgmental?” Eric glared. “You don’t know what’s in people’s pockets, and you don’t know what it’s like to have an addictive personality.”

  Lauren and Shelby looked at each other. Even during his most stoned-out period, Eric had never been this sullen and cross. Obviously, he was still grappling with his demons and they’d have to tread lightly.

  “I’m sorry, Eric,” Shelby apologized. “Perhaps I did misjudge him.”

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake. Stop placating me, Shelby. And stop talking to me like I’m a mental case. I’m a big boy now. If you’ve got something to tell me, spit it out.”

  “Fine!” Shelby was tired of walking on eggshells. “Brace yourself. It’s really big.”

  “Shel, I don’t know…”

  “No, Lauren. The charade has gone on long enough…You ready, Eric?”

  Eric stared at his plate.

  Shelby took a deep breath. “Larry Lazarus is your father.”

  There. She said it. But where was the gasp, the look of horror? This was a major headline.

  “Well, duh.” He shrugged. “Of course he is.”

  “You knew?” Lauren’s mouth opened. “Was I the only Lazarus out of the loop?”

  “What do you mean did I know?” Eric looked at them as if they were crazy. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because we didn’t know you knew.” Shelby was a little confused herself. If her father and Roz swore they never told Eric he was born their brother, and not their first cousin, then who did?”

  “Why wouldn’t I know?” He looked angry. “How stupid do you think I am? Larry Lazarus is our father, and Roz Lazarus is our mother. It’s not a difficult concept.”

  Lauren and Shelby’s eyes opened wide. It was worse than they thought. As far as he knew, he’d been born to Roz and Larry, as were his older sisters.

  “Eric, honey…” Shelby started.

  “No wait,” Lauren butted in. “He’s right. We’re one big happy family. Let’s leave it at that.”

  “Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Eric slammed his fist down.

  “Okay, fine. But you have to listen good because this gets a little complicated.” Shelby took his hand. “Daddy was married once before, to a woman named Sandy. He and Sandy had two daughters, who so happen to be Lauren and me. But when I was ten and Lauren was four, Sandy got cancer and her younger sister, Roz, moved into our house so she could take care of us. While Sandy was dying, Roz and Larry fell in love, and they conceived you. Sandy died in early December and you were born that May. At the time, we thought you were our cousin Eric because Roz was our aunt, and you were her baby. Then a year later, Larry and Roz got married and we were told to call you our stepbrother because our daddy was adopting you. But the truth of the matter was, you were really his son.”

  Eric’s eyes told the whole story. He had absolutely no idea. “Holy shit.” He kept shaking his head in disbelief. “Are you sure about this? Why didn’t they ever tell me?”

  “They didn’t tell us either,” Lauren cried. “Shelby figured it out by herself.”

  “See, the problem was,” Shelby continued, “they never wanted us to know they were fooling around while Daddy was still married to our mother.”

  “I remember hearing stories about an Aunt Sandy. But no one ever told me she was your mother,” Eric looked mystified. “I just assumed Mommy was.”

  “You mean you never wondered why I didn’t call her Mommy?”

  “Not really. You were such a bitch I figured you just liked pissing her off.”

  “Come to think of it, what did you call her?” Lauren asked.

  “Nothing.” Shelby sighed. “I really was a bitch, wasn’t I?”

  “Was?” Eric and Lauren said at the same time, then laughed.

  “I gotta tell you. This is bizarre,” Eric said. “To be living all these lies your whole life…”

  “What do you mean, all these lies,” Shelby asked. “Do you know something we don’t?”

  Eric laughed. Not just a chuckle, a knee-slapping belly laugh that brought tears to his eyes. Shelby and Lauren stared at him, then at each other. Was he still tripping?

  “What’s so funny?” Lauren furrowed her brow.

  “I’m sorry.” He wiped his eye with his napkin. “I was just struck by a funny thought.”

  “Please share.” Shelby hoped she didn’t sound too much like a twelve-step leader.

  Eric collected himself. “Before I came in I was so worried about how I was going to tell you a secret that I’ve kept to myself for a long time. But then after hearing this, it’s like what the hell? Big secrets run in the family.”

  “What’s yours?” Lauren winked. “That you’re gay?”

  Eric flinched.

  “You didn’t know we knew?”

  He shook his head.

  “Well, duh,” she mimicked him. “When Allen paid more attention to you than me at our wedding, I knew something was weird.”

  Eric blushed.

  “Plus”—Shelby cleared her throat—“from what I could tell when I came home, you never had a girlfriend, you never read Playboy, and you liked shoe shopping even more than I did.”

  “Oh.”

  “Actually, I think I knew before you did. So that’s old news. What else you got?”

  Eric folded his arms. “This one you’ll never guess in a million years. I have a companion. His name is Jamal. We met in rehab, fell in love, now we live together and are totally clean.”

  “That’s great, Eric.” Lauren touched her heart.

  “I’m not finished.” He held up his hand. “And since we both wanted to have a family…we decided to hire this woman…to be our surrogate.”

  “Oh my God. Are you serious?” Shelby grabbed hold of his hand.

  “OH…MY…GOD!” Lauren squealed. “Are you pregnant?”

  Eric nodded.

  “This is unbelievable. When?”

  “End of July, early August.”

  “This is unreal. Shelby’s due in mid-July! Mommy and Daddy will flip out. They’re going from zero to three grandchildren…”

  “No.” Eric laughed. “Make that four.”

  “Twins?” Lauren gasped.

  “Yep,” Eric winked. “And we are soooo excited.”

  Shelby was shaking. “How in God’s name are you going to tell them?”

  “I was thinking…maybe you could tell them.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Because. You’re the one in the family who breaks big news stories every day.”

  “Not this big!”

  “You have to tell them,” Lauren said. “They’ll be so happy for you.”

  “Ya think?”

  “I don’t know,” Shelby said. “Jamal’s last name. It wouldn’t by any chance be Goldberg?”

  “Not even close.”

  “Is he white?”

  “Nope.”

  Shelby looked at Lauren. “All in favor of keeping this a secret, say aye.”

  “Aye!!!”

  I’ll be honest. This wasn’t the scene I envisioned when I said I wanted the three children to be together a
gain. Naturally I’m thrilled they’re all finally speaking to each other. But who could ever have imagined such craziness? Eric turned out to be a little fageleh who’s using a surrogate like Lauren did with Shelby. Shelby’s carrying twin babies for Lauren, but in the meantime is getting involved with a married man who doesn’t know what the hell he wants. And Lauren is getting a divorce, but first she’s dating a man who DOES know what he wants. No more children.

  God help me. I’m way in over my head.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Shelby was still in shock. A few weeks ago she had no idea that Matty Lieberman was alive. Now she was flying to Portland, Oregon, as his date. Even better, his wife, Madame WASP, had asked for a divorce. So when the legalities and the fireworks were all over, Shelby’s one true love would be open for business.

  She was so glad she’d discussed her second thoughts about making the trip with him. He had actually laughed when she confessed that she felt bad about inviting herself. “What else is new? You always used to talk my mother into letting you stay for dinner, letting you sleep over, letting you go with us to the Jersey Shore. I can’t remember. Did we ever invite you first?”

  But then Matty got serious and said he had a confession as well. At first he wasn’t crazy about the idea of Shelby tagging along. He really wanted time alone to do a marital postmortem, or at least meet up with some old friends to get plastered if the mood struck. “If you came with me, I’d have to be on my best behavior, and to be honest, I’ve just spent the past ten years on my best behavior.”

  He assured Shelby that he loved the idea of going away with her so that they could fill in the blanks on all the missing years. What he didn’t relish was a reunion that took place under his mother’s watchful eye. “I know her. She’ll be listening through the wall with a paper cup.”

  But then after more pondering, he changed his mind again. If your life was falling apart, who better to talk to than your oldest and dearest friend? Besides, if Shelby didn’t join him now, he’d have to spend the entire week explaining to his mother why.