Accidental Sire

by Molly Harper

  How the hell do I know all of this?

  I glanced at Jane, who did not seem to be aware of any sort of psychic turmoil in the room. I opened Morgan’s campus newspaper article about the fire on my tablet and highlighted the street address. I showed it to Ben.

  “Thanks,” he said, smiling. “You saved me the trouble of looking it up.”

  “You kids and your newfangled devices,” Gabriel harrumphed.

  “The building is owned by a rental company. The renter is listed as New Life Endeavors Inc. for the last three years,” I said. “It’s an LLC registered through Delaware, which is not super-helpful. You don’t have to include the names of the applicants on public paperwork.”

  “Sort of a dead end there. What else do we know about the building?” Jane asked.

  I bit my lip. “Remains of three vampires were found in the basement. But they still haven’t been identified.”

  “Four of the friends on Ophelia’s list are missing and cannot be accounted for,” Jamie said.

  “The list that was given to Tina, whom Meagan also suspects of padding the undead-student numbers to scam extra funding from the Council,” Dick said. “Which is pretty smart, when you think about it, using our own paperwork against us. We tend to think humans are too scared of us to steal from us, so we get a little lax . . .” Dick realized Jane was frowning at him. “OK, Tina was clearly wrong, and stealing is not a nice thing to do.”

  “And now Tina is dead after a mysterious car accident,” I said, steering the conversation back on track. “Which seems convenient.”

  Jane and Dick took a step back to observe the neatly lettered timeline Dick had created.

  “Great, so we think that Tina arranged for you to be turned by a friend of Ophelia’s. And then that friend, possibly more than one friend, may be the remains in the basement. And that she might have paid that vampire to turn Meagan with money she stole from the Council?” Jane tilted her head as she stared at the whiteboard.

  “Why would she do any of this?” Gabriel asked.

  “Tina has what I would call an unhealthy reverence for vampires. I mean, subservient and fawning to the point that even I can’t enjoy it,” Ophelia said. “I don’t doubt she’s involved, but I doubt she came up with this on her own.”

  Jane’s cell phone buzzed in her pocket. She checked the screen. “I’ve got to take this. I’ll be right back.”

  “So we’re dealing with a Renfield?” Ben suggested. When no one responded, Ben hunched his shoulders and raised his voice to a tinny whine. “Yes, oh, mysterious and powerful master of the dark, let me do your bidding while I munch on these tasty bugs!”

  “Never do that again,” I told him.

  “Fine, but you get my point,” Ben said.

  “That was the least sexy thing I’ve ever seen you do.”

  He threw his hands up. “OK, I won’t do it again.”

  “Really, really unattractive,” I added, smirking.

  “I’ve got it!”

  “Now that we’ve established that Ben is no longer sexually attractive to Meagan,” Gabriel interjected, “I think we need to focus on trying to find Tina’s Dracula.”

  “And how do we do that?” Jamie asked.

  “Well, who would be our prime suspect?”

  “Dr. Hudson,” Ben said. “He’s been way too excited about our ‘special-ness.’ Proud, like he had something to do with it.”

  “Also, he’s the only one we can think of,” I agreed.

  “Well, all of the Council’s resources are already devoted to looking for Dr. Hudson, so way to go, us,” Dick said.

  Jane reappeared at the door, a grim expression on her face. “The resources of the Council have located Dr. Hudson, or at least a seedy motel room registered in Dr. Hudson’s name. The UERT is standing by; we should get there ASAP. Ray’s going to fire up the helicopter. He’s very excited.”

  “Helicopter?” Dick said. “Where’s this seedy motel?”

  “Cooter Holler. We’re going back to the Possum’s Nest Lodge.” Jane sighed.

  “Aw, man. Really?” Dick groaned.

  “Apparently, it’s on some sort of sleazy vampire Zagat guide for best places to hide out.”

  Dick grumbled as he slid into his jeans jacket. “Finn isn’t sleazy. He’s just . . . OK, he’s a little sleazy. But the motel has to be a coincidence.”

  “I’m going with you,” Ophelia said, rising to her feet. “I hired Dr. Hudson. I once made him cry over a misfiled requisition form. He’s terrified of me.”

  “Where she goes I go,” Jamie said. “There are fewer casualties that way.”

  “Georgie, you’re in charge.”

  “What?” Gabriel, Ben, and I were all equally offended.

  “I just want to see what happens,” Jane said, shrugging.

  “I’m standing right here,” Gabriel said, raising his hand.

  “And you didn’t tell me for two weeks after you first suspected Ben and Meagan were hooking up, so clearly, your judgment is impaired.”

  Jane stood in front of Ben and me, gripping our arms gently. “You two stay put. Don’t do anything silly or heroic. I would be seriously annoyed if I came back to find you injured or maimed.”

  “Understood,” I said, giving a little salute.

  The vampires not under house arrest poured out of the front door, toward the thumping sound of helicopter blades. A black military-issue helicopter landed on the front lawn and whisked Jane and Company away.

  “That is normal,” Ben said. “Just another day in the life of Ben Overby.”

  “Our life is weird.” I sighed.

  “But awesome,” Ben countered, kissing me. “You have to admit, it’s a little awesome.”

  “I admit nothing,” I said, kissing him back.

  “Well, this is getting gross,” Georgie said with a gag. “Overby, in the parlor for ‘Halo,’ now. I can’t witness that sort of spectacle for too much longer without losing my lunch.”

  Ben wiggled his eyebrows. “Duty calls.”

  Gabriel pointed to their retreating backs. “I should go with them. Georgie’s on her last budgeted controller, and she can get . . . enthusiastic in two-player mode.”

  “I’ll just finish up some of Jane’s paperwork, get things organized for tomorrow,” I told him.

  “You’re the best assistant she’s ever had, you know,” Gabriel said.

  I slid into my impromptu desk chair at the dining table. “Really?”

  “Well, the last one was criminally insane, so you were bound to be a step up.”

  “You’re an undercover smartass, aren’t you, Gabriel?”

  He nodded and walked toward the parlor, calling over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.”

  I finished all of my filing and reports, with my ears perked to see if I could hear Gabriel’s cell phone ring with news from Jane. And I kept staring at Dick’s timeline. Something was bugging me, like an itch at the back of my mind. Despite the very detailed, organized timeline, something was missing. And I had this weird sense of foreboding, like somehow missing that thing was going to come back and bite me on the ass.

  Fitz whined, pawing at the back door. I craned my neck to see him sitting by the door, thumping his tail against the floor. I tucked my KidPhone into my coat pocket. I stuck my head into the parlor.

  “I’ll let Fitz out to run a little bit,” I told Ben. “We haven’t had any good bonding time in the last couple of days. I think he’s taking it personally. You stay here, continue to let Georgie own your ass at ‘Halo.’ ”

  “All your base are belong to me,” Georgie said, without looking up from the enormous flat-screen.

  “Just be careful,” Ben warned me. “Stay within sight of the UERT guys. They’re all around the perimeter. Which, again, is a totally normal thing to say to your girlfriend befor
e she walks her dog.”

  “Awesome life,” I reminded him, kissing him.

  “Weird, awesome life.”

  I stretched my arms over my head as we walked out to the back garden. Fitz bolted into the woods, barking. I waved to the UERT member standing near the kitchen door. “I’m just taking him for a walk. We won’t go past the cow pasture.”

  He nodded. “Stay alert, miss.”

  I took off after Fitz, whistling for him. Despite the punishing pace I was keeping, I felt my limbs relax. I smiled against the wind, gleeful to finally be out of the house, alone, just for a little bit. I’d been cooped up under the Council’s watchful eye for way too long. OK, it was only a couple of nights, but the UERTs made it drag.

  My generation had a short attention span.

  Fitz came flying out of the tree line, leaping at me. I dodged at the last minute, and he rolled into the grass.

  “Ha!” I shouted as Fitz lumbered to his feet. “You missed! You finally missed!” He gamboled toward me and took another running leap. “Sonofabitch.”

  Fitz’s paws landed on my shoulders, knocking me flat on my back. His big, warm, sandpapery tongue slapped across my cheeks. “Aw, Fitz. I love you, but you’re murder on my laundry. And my eye makeup.”

  We rolled around on the grass for a while. My attempts to escape the tongue proved to be futile. But I knew, eventually, that it was time to go back. Ben was probably getting all twitchy with worry.

  It had been a good idea to get out of the house. That weird, itchy nagging at the back of my head was all but gone.

  But now it was there again, because I was thinking about it again. I lay back in the grass, staring at the stars.

  What was wrong? Was it Dr. Hudson? His research? His banana-balls crazy colleague Dr. Fortescue, who seemed to drop off the face of the earth after telling my college’s administration to go eff themselves?

  Fortescue. The first time I’d heard the name was when that lulu from the nope list called. The guy who’d screamed at me, demanding a meeting with Jane, claiming to have made huge strides in research that would benefit vampires.

  “Oh, crap.” I jumped to my feet so quickly it startled Fitz into a sharp bark. “Come on, buddy, we need to call Jane.”

  We’d moved farther into the back property than I’d realized. I couldn’t even see the lights of River Oaks. I jogged toward the house, Fitz nipping at my heels, barking happily, completely ignorant of my distress. I hit the Jane button on my phone, but it went to voice mail.

  I could just see the porch lights shining in the distance, welcoming me home, when I sensed something off. I could smell something out of place in Jane’s garden. Instead of the fragrant night-blooming flowers Iris had planted for her, I could smell something antiseptic. Like bleach. It reminded me of the R&D floor at the Council—

  My head snapped up, and I scanned the dark yard. Dr. Hudson? Had that bastard managed to sneak out of Cooter Hollow before Dick and Jane got to him? A cloud slid over the bright half-moon, making it harder for me to spot any movement.

  And then there was an odd noise, something you didn’t hear very often around River Oaks.

  Thump-a-thump.

  Suddenly, Fitz sent up a howl somewhere in the dark. His bark was more aggressive than anything I’d ever heard from him before. He actually sounded like he was capable of hurting someone.

  “Fitz.” I jammed the phone into the back of my jeans, missing my pocket entirely and wedging it between my butt and the belt loops. I ran toward Fitz’s bark, tripping over something soft and cold. I landed on my face in the grass and scrambled to my feet. I nudged the squishy object aside with my foot and realized it was a body. One of the UERT members. He was missing his tactical gear, and there was a bullet hole near his chest. His skin was crackled and discolored from silver poisoning.

  “Shit!” I hissed.

  Thump-a-thump.

  Wait.

  Why wasn’t anyone responding to Fitz’s bark? Were all of the UERT guys dead? Were Ben and Georgie and Gabriel OK?

  “Fitz!” I yelled, dashing after him as he ran toward the house. “Hold on!”

  Just as I got close enough to the house to call for help, I saw the outline of a man, backlit by the floodlights in Jane’s eaves. He was wearing UERT gear, but the antiseptic smell rolling off him was damn near gagging me. Dr. Hudson? He seemed too stocky to be Dr. Hudson.

  Fitz skidded to a stop between us. He growled, ears bent back and hackles raised as he advanced on the man, the human whose heartbeat seemed so out of place at Jane’s house. The man raised his arm, and I could see a flash of metal in his hand.

  “Fitz, don’t,” I commanded him. “Stay.”

  But Fitz was already gathering for the leap, ready to launch himself at the shadow.

  Psst!

  “No!” I screamed as the shot hissed out through a silencer. Fitz yelped and slumped to the ground. “Dr. Hudson, you asshole!”

  I dropped to my knees, pressing my hand against the wound in Fitz’s chest. His blood spilled, sticky and warm, over my hand as he whimpered. “Fitz, please, just—please.”

  The asshole in question slid the tactical screen from his helmet. “I’m not Dr. Hudson, but I’m sure that sort of language isn’t necessary, Miss Keene.”

  “Dr. Fortescue?” I asked, tears streaming down my cheeks. That explained the heartbeat. The very human mad scientist was holding a pistol, pointing it at my chest. And I suspected it was loaded with silver bullets, given the UERT member’s reaction.

  He grinned, cherubic cheeks spreading over teeth that were too white and perfect. “The one and only.”

  I took a deep breath to scream for help, but I heard the hammer on the pistol cock back.

  “I wouldn’t do that, Miss Keene.”

  “You think you can shoot me before I get to you?” I asked, my fangs sliding out. I had to be strong, be brave. Fitz’s breathing was slowing to nothing underneath my hands. But I had to make Dr. Fortescue think I was badass enough to kill him where he stood. “I can hear your heartbeat. I’ve got news for you, pal. That gun won’t work on me. It will sting, but I’ll still get to you before you can get off more than one shot.”

  “Yes, but these are silver bullets, which will affect you. Given your reaction to silver, do you really want to take the chance?” He smirked when I recoiled. So much for my poker face. “Now, come along.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “You’re my intellectual property, my dear. I’ve come to collect what’s mine.”

  “What?”

  “It was my work that turned you into the remarkable specimen you are today. There would be no you without me. You would have died on that lawn, your bones crushed and your organs jellied. Then again, you wouldn’t have had your bones crushed and your organs jellied if I hadn’t arranged that, too, but details, details.”

  “What?”

  “Your little accident,” he said. “I arranged it.”

  Even though I knew my “accident” had likely been a setup to put me in the position of being turned, it was pretty infuriating to hear it out loud. I did not like Dr. Fortescue.

  “I needed you to be in distress when I had one of my ‘carriers’ nearby save the day.”

  “Carriers?”

  “Oh, I’m getting ahead of myself. We’ll get to that later. You know, I was hoping for the matched set, but I guess I’ll have to settle for just you.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  At this point, I was being intentionally obtuse. Like Jane said, when faced with a villain, keep him monologuing. Maybe Ben would come out to check on me. If he wasn’t dead inside with a lot of people I loved.

  That wasn’t a helpful thought. I needed to focus on something else, something that would help me get some sort of control of this situation. Ophelia. What
would Ophelia do? OK, no, I wasn’t capable of doing what Ophelia would do in this situation. The gouging alone would be problematic for me. Georgie. What would Georgie do?

  Georgie told me once that people underestimated her because of her cuteness, and that was their mistake. They thought she was vulnerable, helpless. They relaxed their guard, and then she moved in for the kill.

  “Your little friend, Ben Overby. I was hoping to collect him, too. It would have been interesting to see how his test results compare to yours. But you are the purer of the two samples, so I’ll content myself with you.”

  Playing dumb was my only option. How did he know about Ben? Jane had been so careful to keep Ben’s turning private. Damn it. I supposed Dr. Fortescue had met up with Dr. Hudson at some point. I hated Dr. Hudson.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please, just let me go, and we’ll talk to Jane, and I’m sure we can get this whole misunderstanding worked out.” I widened my eyes to creepy Internet kitten levels. And I blew my floral neovamp breath toward him in a long, slow exhale. He was going to be putty in my damn hands.

  Or I would overcorrect and end up with another science-vamp stalker.

  He jabbed the gun toward me, making a tsking noise. “Please don’t insult my intelligence, Miss Keene. I will tolerate a lot from you but not that.”

  “What makes you think that I’m coming with you?” I asked him.

  Fitz’s breathing was barely audible now, his chest making weak little movements under my palms.

  Stall, stall, stall. Please, someone, come outside and look for me.

  I stared at the long barrel of the gun, flexing my fingers. Could I grab it? If I got shot in the hand, would the silver poisoning spread throughout my body? Was he buying the whole innocent act?

  Dr. Fortescue pressed the barrel of the gun against my temple, forcing me to stand. “Make one quick movement, and I will shoot you in the head.”

  That would be a no, then.

  Dr. Fortescue nudged me backward, forcing me toward the back of the property. I glanced over my shoulder at Fitz’s still form. I checked the windows of the house, still bright. I couldn’t see anyone moving inside. Did that mean they were dead? Would I ever see Ben again?