Always For You (Always Love Book 1)

by Tawdra Kandle

  With no little pride, Rilla moved aside the blanket from the bundle in her arms, and we all leaned in to get a better look at the newest Wallace.

  “His name is Noah James.” She spoke with pride. “Noah, meet your grandma and all your aunties.”

  His small face was red, but he wasn’t crying. Instead, he seemed to be surveying us with interest, as though he were faintly surprised to be in a world inhabited by other people.

  We took turns holding him, and when he lay in my arms, I stared down into his deep blue eyes. “Oh, Rilla. Oh, he’s beautiful. He’s perfect.” I bent to touch my lips to his cheek. “And he smells so good!”

  She laughed. “I know. I just want to keep breathing him in, like a drug.” She looked up at Mason. “Is Piper on her way?”

  “She sure is. I called Millie right away, and they’re heading up here.”

  “Good. I can’t wait for her to see her little brother.” She leaned back on the pillows. “I feel like I could sleep a year.”

  “Baby, you’ve earned it. You were a freaking rock star.”

  Meghan glanced at me and then at Rilla. “We should go now and let you rest. Don’t worry, we’ll come visit at the house. And I’m going to make you up some meals to put in the freezer, too, so no one has to cook for at least a month.” She kissed Rilla’s cheek. “Congratulations, Mama.”

  Behind me, I heard the unmistakable clearing of a throat. When I turned, a man I recognized only vaguely stood in the opened door, along with an older woman I didn’t know. Both looked uncomfortable, as though they expected to be turned away at any minute.

  Rilla let out a long breath. “Dad? Gram? You’re here.” Her voice trembled, and suddenly the air in the room felt electrified. I didn’t dare move, lest I interrupt.

  And then Mr. Grant took one step inside. “I hear I have a new grandson. Seems to me a man ought to meet his grandson.” He took another tentative step, until he was standing by Rilla’s side. Stiffly, he bent and kissed her forehead. “Rilla.”

  Mrs. Wallace caught my eye and jerked her head to the side, toward the doorway. All of us except Mason and the Grants slipped out.

  “Never in all my life would I’ve believed that man would come to his senses.” Mason’s mother shook her head. “The days of miracles are not yet ended, girls. Believe me. Well, like I said, girls, hope is a beautiful thing, and there are no such things as lost causes. That man in there swore he’d never talk to his daughter after she married Mason, and yet here he is.” She sighed.

  “It’s a good news day, indeed.”

  Mrs. Wallace elected to stay in the waiting room so she could be there when Piper arrived, so I drove home by myself. I felt slightly numb, as though my mind didn’t know quite how to process everything that had happened over the past twelve hours.

  Rilla was a mother. Ali was going to have another baby. Meghan—well, I felt horrible for her loss, but still, she had Sam. She was married. She wasn’t alone.

  And then there was me. Definitely alone. No husband, no babies, no prospects. I had a house, co-ownership of a veterinarian practice, and a good friend who lived upstairs. Years of emptiness stretched out before me, days when I’d be the one in the waiting room, not the delivery room. Nights when I’d have to face going home to a quiet, lonely house. My throat tightened, and my chest felt constricted.

  By the time I got home, I was so wound up that my hands were shaking. I could hardly open the door. Smith met me there, his big smile of welcome fading when he saw my face.

  “Maureen, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Rilla? The baby?”

  I shook my head, but I couldn’t speak yet. I dropped onto the couch and covered my face with my hands. After a few steadying breaths, I found my voice.

  “I’m a horrible person, Smith. A horrible, terrible, bad person.”

  I felt the couch dip as he sat down beside me. “No, you’re not. Why would you say that?”

  “Because.” I sucked in a deep breath. “Because Rilla had a beautiful, healthy baby boy today. And Ali announced that she’s pregnant. Again. And even Meghan’s married, and settled, and—and I’m happy for them, God, yes, I am, I love them, so I’m thrilled, but for the love of Mary, when is it going to be my turn?”

  The words unleashed the flood I’d been holding back for the last hour, and now it gushed forth, tears flowing out of my eyes and down my face as my shoulders shook. My whole body ached, and I bent in half, rocking back and forth as I sobbed.

  “I’m the oldest, and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. I’m alone, and I’m always going to be alone. I’m going to be the crazy aunt they all have to come visit even though no one wants to see her, because she has stale cookies, too many cats and her house smells funny. Like moth balls.”

  “Maureen.” Smith wrapped his arms around me. “Reenie, honey, no. Calm down.”

  “Oh, you have no room to talk.” I kept rambling, a kind of stream-of-consciousness blubbering. “You were engaged. You could have married the beautiful Felicia and had all sorts of bouncing Boston babies and made your mom happy, but you didn’t. But still, you had the chance. I’ve never had the chance. I’ve never had someone care enough to give up anything for me. No boyfriends. No children. For God’s sake, I don’t even have a dog, and I’m a fucking veterinarian.”

  “Maureen, you’ve got to stop crying. You’re just—you’re upset. You’ve had a long day. You’re tired—”

  “Why not me?” I pushed his arm away and stood up. “What’s the matter with me? Why doesn’t anyone ever choose me? Why am I not good enough?”

  “Maureen.” Smith gripped my upper arms and gave me a little shake. “Listen to me. You are good enough. God, do you even hear yourself? And how can you not think—how can you not know—how important you are to me? How can you not know how long I’ve cared for you? How long I’ve fucking wanted you more than anyone else in the world? How long I’ve fucking loved you, Maureen? How long I’ve been so deep in love with you that I can’t think about anything or anyone else?”

  And then without any warning, he was kissing me. Smith was kissing me, and the world stopped. His lips devoured mine, aggressive, demanding and unrelenting, and his arms locked around me, pressing me so tight against him that I couldn’t feel where he ended and I began. Every pulse in my body beat in time with his heart, and at last, everything was right.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth beneath his, letting him in.

  I DIDN’T MEAN TO KISS her. Honestly, I really didn’t. But when she walked in the door, she looked shell-shocked, as though she was barely holding herself together. Right away, I was afraid something had happened with Rilla or the baby. Maureen had texted me a little over an hour ago that the baby had arrived safely and that she was waiting to see both him and Rilla before she came home. But still . . . all I knew was animal deliveries, and sometimes in those, things went wrong after the baby was out.

  But it wasn’t that, apparently, because when I asked her, Reenie shook her head. And then, she’d pretty much . . . exploded.

  That was the only way I could describe what happened. One minute she was silent and still, and then next she was crying, shaking, rocking and ranting. Most of it didn’t make sense to me. Some of it did, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t know how to answer her.

  And then she sobbed out the most idiotic part of all.

  “What’s the matter with me? Why doesn’t anyone ever choose me? Why am I not good enough?”

  It was at that point that something in me snapped, and I grasped her arms. Without planning it, everything I’d been holding back from telling Maureen came spilling out of my lips, as if some of her exploding had jumped over to me. And then, as I told the woman I loved how I felt—well, let’s be clear; I practically yelled it at her—I looked down into her face. Her huge brown eyes were wide with surprise, her cheeks were wet with tears and her lips had parted. There wasn’t even a question at that moment that I was going to kiss her.

 
; I’d been planning this kiss for a long time. A long fucking time, since that night in the library back in freshman year. And each time I’d thought about kissing Maureen, it was very much like what I’d described the night after her first date with Tim: slow, with building heat and intensity. But that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

  No, tonight slow was off the table.

  Instead, I consumed her. I took her mouth with mine, kissing her with complete abandon. I nipped her bottom lip and then sucked it into my mouth, using the very tip of my tongue to circle it until Maureen moaned. Sliding my hands to her back, I held her against me, my cock surging when I felt her boobs smash into my chest and her hips press into my body.

  She circled my neck with her arms, tilting her head so that I could get closer to her mouth. I walked her backwards until we hit the wall and then, using that as leverage to keep her pressed into me, moved my hands to her face, my fingers skimming her cheekbones while my thumbs drew small circles at the corners of her lips.

  I became aware with a jolt that Maureen was grinding her center against me, as though she couldn’t get close enough. I gripped her hips and lifted, nudging her thighs to circle my waist, and just like that, the point of her greatest need was right up against mine.

  Oh, yeah. Every coherent thought raced away from my brain as my body took over, rejoicing that at last, finally, the right woman was in the right spot.

  Maureen must’ve picked up on some of that, because her fingers dug into my upper back as she trailed open-mouthed kisses down my neck, her tongue darting out every now and then to taste and to feel. She murmured something, but I couldn’t quite hear it.

  “What was that, baby?” I molded my hands to the ass I’d been dying to touch for fucking ever, and she shifted in position, somehow bringing her even closer to me. And just that subtle movement lined her up even better, so that she was pushing herself along the hard column of my dick, where it throbbed under my jeans. Throbbed wasn’t a word I’d ever used, but yeah, tonight it applied. Every freaking part of my body was throbbing and on fire for this woman, and I couldn’t touch enough of her fast enough.

  “I said, you taste so fucking good. Like . . . like salty caramel spread over chocolate cake.” She lifted her head so that her eyes were level with mine. “Do you know how I like to eat chocolate cake with caramel icing?”

  I shook my head. All capacity for speech had fled at the sight of her molten eyes.

  “I like . . . to lick it all off first.” She teased my jawline with her tongue. “I like to lick it completely off, and then I go for the cake.”

  “Ah. You’re killing me.” I groaned. “Not going to stop you. I promise.” I slipped my hands further under her backside so that my fingers skimmed the hard seam at the center of her jeans. Growling in frustration, because I couldn’t feel her the way I wanted, I brought my lips to her ear, sucking the lobe into my mouth and tugging it lightly between my teeth. “Reen, I want to touch you. I want to get these fucking clothes off you. Bedroom?”

  She nodded, her eyes closed and head back. “Oh, yeah. Please.”

  Holding her close still, I stumbled down the hall, not bothering with the light. The door was open—thank you for small favors—and I went straight for that wonderful king-sized bed. Bending from the waist, I lay Maureen flat on the mattress.

  She started to sit up, but I used one hand to hold her down. “Let me. God, I’ve been imagining this for so long. Let me have this.”

  She relaxed her body, but her legs were still tight around me. I lifted one foot and eased off her boot, massaging her instep.

  She protested, trying to pull her foot away. “My feet are all sweaty and gross. I’ve been in those boots all day.”

  I laughed softly, drew off the sock and pressed my thumb back into her soft skin. And then I raised it up and kissed the top of her foot. “There’s not any part of you that’s gross, Reen. Every single inch of you is perfect.”

  She released the breath she’d been holding and closed her eyes. “Do me a favor. If I’m dreaming right now, please don’t wake me up.”

  Chuckling again, I reached for her other foot and repeated my ministrations. “If you’re dreaming, then so am I. But we’re not, baby. This is reality.” I let go of her feet so that her legs dropped, her knees bent over the edge of the mattress. Reaching for the button on her jeans, I flicked it open and drew down the zipper before I began pulling off the pants. “Lift up, Reen, just a little. That’s it.”

  I got her jeans down to mid-thigh, and then I forgot how to breathe. Under her very practical, work-a-day jeans, Maureen was rocking some sexy, silky, leopard-print bikinis, just a tiny slip of soft material that made me want to rip them off and pound into her.

  She opened her eyes and looked up at me, probably wondering why I’d come to a screeching halt in my mission to get her naked. “Are you okay?” Her voice was husky whisper, and it went straight to my cock.

  “I’m so far past okay that I’m not sure there’s a word that covers it. Look at you.” I trailed a finger along the delicate strip of lace along the top of the underwear. “You’re so beautiful. So perfect.” I leaned over, resting my hands on either side of her body on the bed, my lower half still between her spread legs.

  I pushed the cotton of her T-shirt up to reveal her lower stomach, and that was where my mouth touched her, in the narrow slice of skin between her rutched up shirt and the top edge of her underwear. I felt her tense and ignored it as I kissed over her tanned skin, coming closer ever minute to where I wanted to be.

  When I skimmed one finger under the lace, Maureen hissed in a breath, her hands flying to my head. “Smith . . . no . . . you don’t have to . . . I’m not . . .”

  I turned my head so that my mouth pressed into her palm. “I know I don’t have to. God, Maureen, I want to do this. I want to taste you.” Uncontrolled desire surged within me. “I want to suck you into my mouth and feel you come apart under my tongue. I want you to watch me with my head between your legs.”

  Without waiting for her to give assent, I dropped my mouth to cover her, feeling how wet she was even under the silky cloth. I gave her one long, preliminary lick. Her hips canted up, arching toward me as she moaned something unintelligible.

  Having my mouth on her, feeling the heat of her center, was incredible. But I wanted more. I dropped back and tugged her jeans the rest of the way down, kicking them aside when they hit the floor. And then I got rid of the sexy silky underwear. It was fucking hot that she had them on under her jeans, but now they needed to be gone and out of my way.

  I knelt between her legs, lifting her feet to the edge of the bed and gently forcing her knees to drop to the sides, spreading her wide open before me. Before she could protest again, I slid my tongue over her slickness, then found the small knob of nerves that made her raise up and press harder against me. I traced my tongue over her, learning fast what made her shiver, what made her gasp, and what made her moan my name.

  Her breath was coming in fast pants. I could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, and her hands were twisting the cotton of her bedspread.

  “Reenie.” I spoke softly, knowing my breath was teasing her pulsing, needy flesh. “Reen, lift up your head and look at me. Watch me while I make you come. I want to see your eyes when you fall apart.”

  I saw the movement of her throat as she swallowed hard, but she did as I asked, raising her upper body, leaning on her elbows, her eyes on me.

  I smiled, holding her gaze as I brought my mouth back down, this time easing my finger inside her as I licked and sucked.

  She gasped again, and I saw her fight the urge to close to her eyes. But she stuck with me, her lips falling slightly apart.

  “You’re so fucking tight, baby, and so wet. You have no idea, Reen, how amazing this feels.” I drew her clit between my lips and pumped my finger harder, faster. “Are you close, baby? Are you about to come?”

  “Yesyesyesyesyesyes.” She chanted, biting her lip. “Oh, God, yes
.”

  “Stay with me. Stay, Reen. Come for me. Come against my mouth. Let me see you fucking fall apart.”

  As if my words sent her over the edge, Maureen arched, her thighs forming a vise around my head, fingers digging into the bed as she held her breath, her body spasming. I stayed with her, murmuring and kissing and stroking until she’d collapsed back onto the mattress.

  I crawled up her still-trembling body, raining kisses as I pushed clothes out of my way, lifting her shirt gently over her head. I touched my lips to the tops of her breasts where they spilled out of her bra, and she moaned again.

  “You’re so beautiful, Maureen.” I ran two fingers under the cup, finding her nipple stiff and pebbled. Nudging the material of the bra out of the way, I drew the rosy peak into my mouth, sucking gently.

  “God, Smith. I . . . oh, God, that feels so good.” She threaded her fingers through my hair. “I’m not sure I’m capable of feeling anything else right now, but yeah . . .” She hummed a little in appreciation when I worried the nipple softly between my teeth. “Maybe . . .” Her hands slid under my T-shirt. “Um, Smith, why do you still have all your clothes on?”

  I rolled to the side, sat up and reached behind me to pull the shirt off over my head. “Priorities, Reen. My priorities were getting my mouth on you. Making you come. Plenty of time for clothes to come off now.” I tossed the shirt to the side, where it landed on top of her jeans, before I stood, toed off my shoes and shed my jeans.

  Maureen pushed up onto her elbows again, watching me. “Lose the boxers. I want to see you.”

  I smirked. “Demanding, are we?” I brought my fingers to the waistband of the underwear. “Want to see what’s underneath? Or are you just disappointed that I’m not wearing a pair from my specialty collection?”