“But, Craig, I don’t see how that’s even possible!”
“We can do this, Maddy. And besides, I can’t wait to see where you come from and meet your family. Won’t they be excited to meet me too?”
“Um, yes, of course.” I’m sure that the universe will forgive me for this little white lie. I’m sure that if my family actually knew he existed, they would be excited. So now I have to introduce my family to the guy I am dating, who is also my boss, sell them on a reality show, and put together a sizzle reel that’s going to impress Craig… and save Wolf County.
No problem.
Scene 003
Int. Maddy’s car—morning
Well, here goes nothing.
If Craig and I are going to head to Wolf County this weekend, I have to tell my parents. I don’t know why I’m so anxious about this. Oh wait, yes I do: one, they have no idea that I am dating my boss; two, I haven’t brought a guy home since, well… Brian; and three, we’re going to try to sell them on the idea of cameras following their friends and family everywhere for national TV. Oh God.
They are going to be full of questions. Which is why I’m calling now, fifteen minutes before I arrive at the set, so I’ll have to hop off the phone. Not the best evasion strategy in the world, but it’s all I’ve got right now.
The phone rings and I hear my dad’s booming voice. “Maddy? Is that you?”
Who else would be calling from my number? But Dad doesn’t trust the caller ID.
Seconds later my mom picks up a different line. “Hi, Maddy!”
“Hi, Mom. Oh good, both of you are there. Guess what?”
“What, dear?” they say in unison, which makes me smile.
“I’m headed back up to Wolf this weekend!”
“You are? That’s great, but you were just here. What’s going on?”
“Well, actually I am bringing… a coworker… a friend. It’s sort of a business trip.…”
Pull it together, Maddy.
“Oh, okay,” Mom says.
I can just see their confused glances across the living room.
“Look, we’re going to explain everything when we get there. It’s actually very exciting. But I want Craig to explain.”
“Craig is your… friend?”
“Well, yeah… actually we’ve been seeing each other.”
“Madelyn Rose Carson! We had no idea you had a boyfriend. How long has this been going on? Why on earth haven’t you mentioned him?” I can hear the hurt in her voice.
That’s a very good question. Why haven’t I mentioned Craig?
“Whoa, Mom. He’s not my boyfriend. It’s really new actually. And this is more of a work trip anyway. There’s a project we’re working on… about Wolf. We want to talk to you about it in person, and Craig wants to tour the town.”
“Wait, you and Craig work together? You’re dating someone in the company? You know that’s about as smart as bringing strawberries into a bear cage, right?”
Yup, my dad loves skipping right to the bottom line.
Luckily, by this point I’ve pulled into the studio lot, but something tells me I’m not going to be able to hop off the phone. I stop the engine and take a deep breath.
“Well, it sort of just happened, guys. I didn’t plan on it. He’s not an actor or anything. You’ll like him. He works with Hogan directly. One of the suits.”
I assume this will allay her concerns, but again, she doesn’t miss a thing.
“He works directly with Hogan? Madelyn Rose. Does that mean you are dating your boss?!”
Suddenly, I jump a mile high as someone knocks very loudly on my car window. I look up and see Adam’s beaming smile through the glass. How does this guy seem to pop up out of nowhere all the time? I point to my earpiece to let him know I’m on the phone, but he does provide a perfect excuse.
“Look, Mom, it’s all good. Please don’t be weird about this when we get there. I’ll explain everything. I’m so excited to see you again, but I gotta go. I just pulled into the office and one of my coworkers needs me.” Adam is now leaning against my car. The top of his well-defined backside is right at my eye level through the window.
There’s a pause as if neither of them is quite ready to let this go. Dad finally says, “Okay, we’ll see you this weekend.” And Mom adds, “We’ll make up the guest room for Craig.” A not-so-subtle hint that we will not be sharing a room. I can’t help but laugh as I get out of the car.
“Your boyfriend say something funny?” Adam asks.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I was talking to my parents.” I grab my notebook, my bag, and my coffee cup and take off with a purposeful stride. Adam’s long legs allow him to catch up to me without even exerting himself.
“You in a hurry?”
“Well, I’m late, actually.” Meaning, of course, that I am only three minutes early. “I have to get a lot done since I’m going out of town.” I am not sure why I feel the need to share this and invite the inevitable follow-up question.
“Oh really, big weekend plans?”
I hesitate for a second. “Just going to visit my family.”
“Ahhh.” Adam makes a knowing, sympathetic sound.
“No, it’s fine. I love my family. They’re awesome. But it was a little last-minute and I’m sure they’ll have a million things planned for… me.” I almost slipped and said “us.” I know Adam won’t be shy about asking more about “us,” and I don’t want to invite any more questions about my love life.
“So how about next week we go get that drink you owe me, and you can tell me all about them.” I look up at Adam, wondering if his persistence is impressive or annoying, and I completely forget to look where I’m going. Which is why I trip over the big yellow speed bump that has always been there, that I have seen and treaded over carefully with no problems for years. But today, in front of Adam Devin, I trip right over it. My JanSport backpack wasn’t fully zipped and it flies out of my hands, papers skidding everywhere. I would have gone sprawling after them if not for Adam’s quick reflexes. He catches me by the waist and pulls me in to him, steadying me against his chest.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” The less said on my end, the better. I can feel the redness of embarrassment heating my neck and flushing my cheeks. There is no way I’m looking up at him from this proximity. I’m no geometry expert, but that angle would lead to nothing but trouble. Not that my nose pressed into his chest inhaling his clean soap scent is necessarily better for my equilibrium.
Adam gives me a slight squeeze and then sets me loose. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
I’m standing there like those kids in ski school who are slightly dazed after their first high-speed run down the mountain.
“Oh, yeah… you know, thought you’d wanna see a demonstration of gravity,” I mutter to give myself a second to recover from the head rush. I watch him picking up my papers, stuffing them back into the bag.
“Ha! I know that movie…” He thinks for a second. “Real Genius, right? Val Kilmer?” He grabs my spiral notebook and that snaps me out of it.
“That’s the one.” I’m so busy collecting my stuff from him, starting with that notebook, that I don’t really appreciate his movie trivia skills as much as I should. The last thing I need is for him to see any of my lists. “Thanks, I got this.”
“No problem.” He smiles, handing me my stuff. “So, next week? We can go near here if you want. I’d love to get you down to Venice. There’s this awesome café that looks out over the water. But that’s too much of a drive after work.”
I think it’s his assumption that I will say yes, even though I’ve been clear that I am not available, and that helps me find my backbone. This is a man who clearly isn’t used to taking no for an answer. “Well, first, we don’t know that you actually won the bet, so I don’t owe you a drink. And anyway, Adam, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to get a drink together. I wouldn’t want anyone to misunderstand,
thinking that it was a date or something.”
“Why can’t it be a date?” Adam says with that same confident smirk on his face that I have seen so many times in close-up shots during filming.
“Because (A) I don’t date actors; (B) I’m definitely not breaking rule A for you; and (C) I already told you, I’m seeing someone.” That came out a little bitchier than I had intended, but his arrogant assumption that women everywhere will fall all over themselves for him gets under my skin. You’re barking up the wrong tree here, buddy.
“Interesting rules you’ve got there.” Adam’s smirk stays in place as he looks me up and down. “A and B have got to go. C… well, that’s fair, but you did say it was casual, right?”
Did I? I don’t even remember. I guess it’s not a total lie. Then again, Craig is meeting my entire family in twenty-four hours. But since I haven’t come up with a witty reply, I wait for Adam to fill the silence.
“This isn’t just some game to me, Maddy,” he says, as if reading my mind. He seems more serious, and I can hear the New Yorker twang in his voice. “I dig you. I respect that you’re seeing someone. Lucky guy. But I know you won’t regret giving me a chance.”
He grabs my hand and squeezes it before he strolls off toward his trailer. It was totally innocent, but I still frantically look around to see who may have been looking. It would have been exactly like a scene from a soap opera, except that he’s serious. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. He raises his hand in a backward wave but keeps walking. Which tells me two things: one, I’m still watching him walk away, and two, he knows I’m still watching. Damn it.
As if things couldn’t get more complicated, I am barely through the door to the studio when my phone buzzes with an e-mail from Hogan’s assistant, Hudson, wanting to schedule a dinner with Hogan in two weeks. I don’t see how I can go for an entire meal without fessing up to Hogan that I’ve been dating Craig. But first, I’ll have to tell Craig about Hogan. And even before that, I have to get through this insanely busy day and a weekend in Wolf with Craig. I take a big deep breath and e-mail him back confirming that, yes, Thursday the 13th works for me. Then I take another breath and head to set.
Scene 004
Int. Maddy’s living room—morning
Craig’s text sets off “La Cucaracha” (I have got to figure out how to change these alerts!) to let me know he’s outside at 5:30 the next morning. Having been packed and ready to go for thirty minutes, I was sitting on the couch taking deep breaths to calm my anxieties about the weekend. Matthew’s 3:00 a.m. text didn’t help:
Matthew: I can’t believe you’re bringing your boooooyfriend up the one weekend I’m out of commission. Was that on purpose? I gotta meet this guy. DO NOT leave town before I see him. In the meantime Mike knows what to do.
I feel like a bad sister that I totally forgot that Matthew is doing a twenty-four-hour relay mountain bike ride for charity this weekend. But part of me is relieved that it won’t be two on one with my brothers and Craig all weekend.
Me: Don’t worry, bro. I’ll be at the finish line… with Craig. Go easy!
I really don’t know what my brothers are going to make of Craig, and vice versa. All I keep picturing when I see Craig in Wolf is something akin to Billy Crystal in City Slickers. Or that John Candy traipsing terrified through the woods in The Great Outdoors. My first clue was how fascinated he was about our garbage rules, which I happened to mention last night when he called to ask if he should pack his summer blazer for dinner. Answer: no.
Start close-up on Craig’s hand nervously tugging at the Armani tie, cut wide to show him pacing back and forth across the same strip of carpet in his office.
CRAIG
What do you mean they don’t collect your garbage at your house?
MADDY
Well, we can’t leave our trash out on the street like you can in LA. The bears will come scavenge it.
CRAIG
Bears????
MADDY:
(patiently)
Yes, Craig. Bears. They don’t really hurt people unless they feel threatened, but you don’t want to encourage them to hang around the neighborhood.
CRAIG
Will I see a bear? Should I go buy bear spray?
MADDY
Usually they stay away from people.
CRAIG
(covering his disappointment)
Oh. Okay.
Seriously, if a bear doesn’t try to maul him, he’ll be heartbroken. Of course, in Craig’s head it’s just a stunt. I can imagine he thinks if things get too scary, he could just yell, “Cut!” or perhaps e-mail someone in the stunt department, and the bear will immediately take five.
As I gather my bags and head to the car, I laugh out loud, imagining the visual of Craig raising up one finger to a big mama bear because he’s got an incoming call. Sure enough, even though it’s not even 6:00 a.m., he’s talking animatedly into his Bluetooth as I get in the car. As he leans over to kiss me, I also get an earful about the promotions campaign surrounding the new season of The Wrong Doctor. National billboards and media buys in local markets. I’ve seen the pictures of Billy and Adam that will appear on those billboards, and let’s just say, I think it will be an effective campaign.
Craig arranged for us to catch a commuter flight up to Fresno, and then we’re renting a car for the forty-five-minute drive up the mountain. As much as I’m starting to get into seeing Craig, and I like talking to him—especially when we find topics outside of Hogan and the company to talk about—I don’t know if I could handle a five-plus-hour driving trip with him. Or anyone, for that matter. I love the drive when I’m by myself, listening to music with the scenery whizzing by. Besides, I would rather not stew for five hours anticipating my parents’ reactions. A quick flight will be so much better.
We get to the Burbank airport for the 8:15 flight and, thank you, Southwest, we’re taking off right on time. It’s a no-muss, no-fuss airline with no first class, and I can tell this is not Craig’s favorite way to fly. He is seated in the middle seat, having politely insisted that I take the window, and now is holding himself perfectly still so he doesn’t touch shoulders with the bigger guy sitting on the aisle.
“Nervous flyer?” I ask, mostly to make conversation. I know that’s not what he’s reacting to.
“Not at all. I fly all the time.” It works. He relaxes a little into his seat to prove what he’s saying. “You?”
“I don’t love flying, but I’m not going to freak out on you or anything. I like to understand how things work, and I’m always surprised these things get off the ground.”
“You should take flying lessons.” Craig looks really enthusiastic about this idea. “Seriously. I bet it would really help you love to fly. We could take lessons together.”
As I settle in to look out the window at the thin clouds around us, I actually fantasize about Craig and me taking flying lessons together. Being trapped in a small plane, our lives in each other’s hands. I’m trying to picture things we might do together in the future, meeting the family, flight lessons, maybe a vacation—I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a proper vacation—spending the night together. It’s been five dates now and we haven’t even slept together yet. Janine thinks that’s crazy, but I don’t know what to think. A part of me, truthfully, is relieved. I don’t know how I feel about Craig yet, and I’m comfortable and grateful to take things slowly. But at the same time, I wonder maybe if he were more assertive, I would respond. Of course, I’m not nearly as open about stuff like this as Janine, who flat-out asked me yesterday, if this was “the weekend.” I explained that the separate-rooms situation at my parents’ house would make that difficult and that besides, we’re taking it slow. This was met with a big eye-roll.
“Slow, Maddy? We’re not in eighth grade. It’s time to check out the goods. Oh God, I can’t believe I am saying that about our boss. Gross.” Then she added all sorts of melodramatic gagging noises. But the truth is, she has a point.
Maybe it is time to “check out the goods.” I don’t realize I’m laughing out loud at that absurd expression, until Craig turns to look at me. “What’s so funny?”
Rather than answer, I spontaneously lean over and kiss him.
“Wow, Maddy.” I’m not sure what I expected, him to stick his tongue down my throat in this cattle car in the sky? It’s not exactly a romantic setting, I get that, but it’s still hard not to be offended by how shocked Craig looks. “What was that about?”
“Maybe it’s the altitude.” I try to laugh it off. “I was just thinking, our first sleepover ever is going to be at my parents’ house. That’s sort of weird.”
“Well, I’m assuming I’ll be in the guest room, right?”
“Yes. My parents’ house, their rules.” Maybe I just need to be the one to make the first move… “But when we get back to LA, there are no rules, right?” I raise my eyebrow as suggestively as I can. “We could pick up Chinese food and compare notes from the trip…”
It’s Craig’s turn to lean over and kiss me. “I like the sound of that.”
My stomach does that weird dropping thing, and I don’t think it’s just because we’ve started our descent.
Scene 005
Ext. Henry’s gas station—morning
We’ve been in Wolf County for less than ten minutes before we manage to have our first awkward situation. When we stopped at Henry’s Gas and Grill to fill up, Craig went inside and, unbeknownst to me, tried to order an “extra dry cappuccino.” I learn of this when Henry comes trailing after a sheepish Craig, laughing heartily and saying, “You weren’t kidding. You really were going to buy Maddy Carson a cappuccino.” I’m mortified as Henry comes around and gives me a warm embrace with a stage-whispered, “Where’d you get this guy?” Mercifully, there’s the loud click marking the full tank and we can make our escape, but not before Henry calls after us, “And how the heck can a drink be dry, anyway?”
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