Unholy Pleasures (Half-breed Series Book 4)

by Debra Dunbar

  “Powdery mildew, correct?” she asked.

  “Nope. A light case of powdery mildew shows up as white or light yellow spots on the top of the leaves. As it progresses, there will be blotchy areas on the canes and a white web-like covering with white powdery spots. You might think at first it’s some kind of spider mite, but if you touch the white stuff, you’ll realize it’s not webbing or egg sacks, but a mildew. It usually reacts well to spraying, but an advanced case can take over the fruit. And it can remain in the plant over winter in buds, so any infestation needs to be re-treated in the spring.”

  “This has yellow spots,” she countered. “How do you know it’s not an early case of powdery mildew?”

  “Because there’s no powdery white webby stuff. And look, the spots are on the underneath of the leaves. See how these are more furry and less webby? And it’s hit the mature leaves in the central part of the plant. Look at the fuzzy gray stuff here. That’s a sign of downy mildew. This is one that hides out in leaf debris, so even though a good dose of fungicide usually knocks it out, cleaning up fallen leaves and trimmings is important in order to keep it from springing back up in this or a neighboring vine.”

  The elf threw up her hands. “I can’t remember all this stuff! There are too many diseases and pests for one elf to remember.”

  “Nonsense. With enough experience, this will all become easy. And you’re not likely to have twenty different diseases at once, either. Most of the time it’s one or two, and if you don’t recognize it right away, you do research. The best part of being with humans is we record everything, and it’s all available at the touch of a finger. You’ll need to be able to sort out the bullshit from the legitimate information, but research and looking things up is how we get around having to memorize everything about everything.”

  “Like the archives?” she asked. “But only certain elves are allowed access. Will the humans allow me to read these tomes?”

  “Are you kidding?” I pulled out my phone and typed in a URL, turning it around to show it to her. “I hope the angels taught you to read as well as speak English, or you’ll have to rely on audio, which isn’t as quick to sort through.”

  She took the phone and swiped down a few times. “There are even pictures.”

  “Yep. And see how different the downy mildew looks from the powdery mildew?”

  “Yes! I wish I’d been given this when I came here. Why did no one tell me this was available?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Because humans all know how to find this stuff on their computers and phones and tablets, and even physical libraries. Everyone figured you knew that, too.” I was beginning to think the angels probably weren’t the best ones to be teaching the elves how to get along in the human world. Most of them probably didn’t know how to work the toaster either.

  “Let me know your number and I’ll text you the links. Just tap them with your finger and they’ll take you right to the site. And if there’s ever something you’re not sure about, take a picture with your phone and send it to me, and I’ll help you identify it.”

  She handed the phone back to me, a huge smile on her face. It was the first time I’d ever seen her smile, the first time I remember ever seeing an elf smile, not that I’d seen many elves in the course of my life. It completely transformed her from this cold, aloof being to someone who glowed with life and breathtaking beauty. When they were happy, elves were pretty darned appealing.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  And it was the first time I’d ever heard that from her. She wasn’t treating me like I was dog crap on her shoe, and she’d actually thanked me. Clearly Hel must be experiencing an unexpected frost.

  “Knowing how to identify the disease or pest is the first part of the problem. The next step is being able to eradicate it.”

  She shuddered. “It feels horrible. Every time I try, I feel sick, and I never manage to get it all.”

  “Because you need to get over the fact that you’re going to feel sick. You’re pulling the disease from the plant into yourself, because as an elf, you’re better equipped to destroy it. If you destroy it while it’s still in the plant, the vine won’t survive, but a case of downy mildew isn’t going to kill you. This is the ick part of your job where you’ll just have to buck up and deal with it.”

  She shook her head. “I need to do this for eight hours a day, five days a week for the rest of my life.”

  “That or find a different job, or go back to Elf Island. Hey, it’s better than cleaning toilets or pumping septic tanks.”

  Hallwyn straightened her shoulders and shook out her hands, as if she were prepping to sprint the mile. “So what do I do first?”

  “Touch the plant, feel the disease, and pull it from the vine. Make sure it’s all out of the plant and inside yourself. If you can block the plant while you eradicate the disease within yourself, then you can keep touching it, otherwise disconnect from the plant first. The next step is to heal the plant, but that might be beyond your capabilities. And at this point, I think the management at DiMarche will be satisfied to just have the downy mildew gone.”

  She grimaced, then put her fingers on the plant. Her hands glowed with a golden light, the fuzzy gray fungus vanished from the leaves, but the leaves still bore spots and were a brownish-yellow. Hallwyn, on the other hand, looked pale and gray, her mouth pinched and stomach heaving. She dropped her fingers from the leaves, and the golden glow extended throughout her body, lighting her up from the inside. Slowly the glow faded and the elf swayed. Then she vomited.

  Was I a bad person that I was glad she’s spewed her lunch all over the ground? I was only a half-elf and I struggled to keep from puking each time I healed a plant. It was sort of comforting to know a full elf had the same problem.

  Attempts to repair the damaged vine weren’t as successful. Evidently all elves had some ability to heal, but not many could reconstruct the damaged leaves, stems and fruit. I wondered if I’d been given that ability as part of my elven heritage, or my demon side? Either way, Hallwyn being able to at least knock out the fungus and various blights would be a huge help to the vineyard. We also discovered that Hallwyn didn’t have the ability to eradicate pests, so the leafrollers and mites would be up to me or the chemicals to take care of. Still—if she could keep the vineyard free from black measles, Phomopsis, and different mildews, it would be a huge help.

  We went down the row, checking each plant before circling to the next row. Hallwyn might have been dry heaving with each act of healing, but she had more stamina than I did and we were able to complete four rows before the encroaching darkness forced us to quit.

  “I can see very well in the dark,” she told me. “Perhaps I can stay and do more.”

  “Tomorrow. In the morning.” I told her. “Don’t push yourself too hard this first time. You’ve got eight hours to do this tomorrow.” If she could do the healing, then maybe I could come through and try to repair what vines I could.

  She nodded and we walked back to the parking area together, me to head off to my trailer, and her to drive like a blind toddler to whatever rat-hole apartment the Jobber had rented for her, no doubt charging her double the going rate.

  “What…what are you eating for dinner?” I couldn’t help asking. She looked so darned skinny, and I kept remembering her expression as she ate that strawberry, as if it were potentially poisonous.

  She hesitated. “I don’t get paid for another two days, so whatever is in the cabinets or the refrigerator.”

  “And what exactly is in your cabinets and refrigerator?”

  “I have a jar of pickled vegetables and some packets of dried fruit.”

  Irix was going to kill me, but I couldn’t let her go home to sweet gherkins and banana chips. I waved for Hallwyn to wait then pulled out my cell phone.

  “Babe? What’s for dinner?”

  He sighed. “When you call me ‘babe’ I know you’re about to tell me something unpleasant. I grabbed a sausage and pepper quiche, and a
salad on the way back to the trailer. Am I eating alone tonight? If so, I hope it’s because you’re out getting laid.”

  Crap. I was pretty sure Hallwyn heard the last part with her excellent elven hearing because she looked rather uncomfortable at Irix’s last statement.

  “Um, no. I’m bringing a friend back for dinner tonight.”

  “A threesome? One of your co-workers?”

  “I better get going,” Hallwyn said, edging backward toward her car.

  “He’s teasing,” I told her before turning back to my phone. “No, it’s Hallwyn, the elf I told you about. All she has at her place is pickles and a bag of dried fruit until she gets paid. I’m bringing her home for dinner—I mean to share dinner with us, because we’re not going to eat her or anything.” I beckoned to Hallwyn who was still taking slow steps toward her car.

  “Amber.” Irix’s voice held a stern warning. “It’s bad enough that you’re working with an elf. You don’t have to bring one home for dinner. She’s not a stray puppy. You know this is a horrible idea.”

  But Hallwyn was a sort of stray puppy from my point of view. She thought I was a human with a magical gift, and one dinner wasn’t going to cause her to suddenly realize I was a half-elf.

  “Hallwyn, don’t go. Wait. It’s quiche and salad, and if I know Irix there’s something amazing for dessert. I promise it’s just dinner, then you can go home.”

  “Amber!” Irix snarled over the phone.

  “I don’t know what quiche is,” Hallwyn told me, knotting her shirt in her hands and eyeing her car a short sprint away.

  “I promise you’ll love it. Come on. You need to start fitting in with human society, and this is a good way to dip your toes in the water. Plus, quiche and salad is way better than a jar of pickles.”

  “Amber! Amber, I forbid you from bringing that elf home.” I’d pressed the phone against my boobs, hoping that Hallwyn hadn’t heard that last bit.

  “Okay, but I’m leaving right after dinner. And no one touches me or I will fireball them.”

  Crap, maybe Irix was right. Although one look at Hallwyn’s face and I realized that she was scared. All alone, fresh off Elf Island with only the teachings of a bunch of clueless angels to guide her. Poor thing.

  “I promise,” I told her. “Irix, we’ll be there in a few.” I hung up the phone and waited while Hallwyn looked back and forth between me and her car, her face pinched with anxiety and indecision.

  “I will dine with you, Amber, and your boyfriend. But there will be no threesomes and no teasing of a sexual nature.”

  I held up my hand. “I promise. Come on. It’s just a short walk away.”

  The elf walked beside me, still twisting her shirt in her hands. I climbed the rickety steps of my trailer, turning to her just before I opened the door.

  “Oh, and FYI, because you probably should know. My boyfriend Irix is an incubus.”

  Her green eyes were huge and she swallowed hard, glancing backward, no doubt judging the distance between the trailer and her car. “No touching. No discussions of a sexual nature. And no pheromones.”

  “I promise,” I told her, opening the door and ushering her inside. I promised, but that didn’t mean Irix would. I’m sure he’d be the absolute gentleman. Unless he thought I was in any danger, then all bets would be off.

  Chapter 20

  My head was pounding with a headache as I walked to work the next morning. Dinner had been…tense. Hallwyn ate the salad like a half-starved rabbit, no doubt because Irix had gotten the vegetables at a local farmer’s stand on the way back from his day of hunting and they were just-picked fresh. The quiche confused her since at first she thought it was a sweet pie, but once she tasted it, she went through three slices. I don’t know where she put it all, especially because she had two helpings of oven-warmed apple strudel with ice cream after. And wine. And coffee after dinner.

  The whole time Irix glared at her like he was two seconds from ripping her head off. I think if the elf hadn’t been so hungry, she would have turned around and run right out the door. As it was, she dashed off right after finishing her second of strudel and coffee. Leaving me with a very pissed-off incubus.

  I got a royal ass-chewing, then he stormed out, leaving me to stand amid dishes and empty wine glasses, wondering what to do with the rest of my night. I needed energy. As much as I hated the thought of going out alone and picking up a sexual partner after our fight, it’s what I needed to do. After lecturing Hallwyn about how “work” wasn’t always fun, I couldn’t slack off and add fuel to the fire by expecting Irix to recharge me whenever he got home.

  So I cleaned the dishes, grabbed a quick shower, changed, and went to the interstate to find the nearest truck stop and bang some random guy in his cab. My heart wasn’t in it, even though my body was, and by the time I got home, Irix was in bed, asleep.

  I was just glad he’d come back, so I slid in beside him, careful not to wake him and deal with the cold-shoulder treatment. Then I tossed and turned all night, staring at the ceiling and walls until it was time to get up and go to work.

  Jorge was at the sheds, handing out clipboards and assignments. I stopped to say hi to all my co-workers before I headed back to the winery and noticed Rosa munching on a double-chocolate cookie.

  “Are you back with us today?” she asked, strolling over with clipboard in hand.

  “No, I just came by to say hi. Where’s Hallwyn?”

  “That elf?” Rosa shrugged. “No idea. She usually arrives in the pickup with Jorge. Maybe she got in early and headed out, or maybe she’s sick today. Don’t know. Don’t care.”

  “Where’d you get the cookies?” There was no way Rosa would be caught dead buying those things, and as far as I knew I was her only supplier here in the field.

  “Hush.” The woman quickly looked around. “They were in my golf-cart this morning, all wrapped up in a plastic grocery-store bag. It was one of those small packs that you get at the convenience stores. Do you think Manny knows?”

  About her cookie addiction? “Probably not. Maybe it’s a secret admirer.” Remembering what I’d said last night, I assumed that Hallwyn had come in early to work and left the offering in Rosa’s golf cart. The elf was more observant that I’d thought, and clearly had a good memory. Maybe Irix was right and I should be more careful.

  She snorted. “Right. That sommelier hasn’t looked twice at me, and the guys in the field are all married.”

  I shrugged, looking down at my phone as it vibrated in my hand. Rosa peered over my shoulder at the message.

  “You’ve got the elf in your phone contacts? Are you trying to add her to your conquest list? Is she the next one we’ll see coming and going from your trailer?”

  Yeah, everyone thought I was a total slut. Figures. “No. I helped her out with something the other day and I think we’re kind of friends. She’s not so bad.”

  “Well, she wants you in field twenty, row twelve. Need a lift? I’m going by there.”

  I’d been worried how I was going to get there and back in time for my shift to start, but Rosa’s offer solved half that problem. And I wanted to get there, because that was exactly where we’d been working last night. Was she trying again to repair the damaged plants? Did she need me to take care of those leafrollers ?

  “I’d appreciate a lift, thanks.”

  I climbed in beside Rosa and held onto the frame of the golf cart as she raced down the narrow dirt path that separated the fields, pulling the cart over as we reached the correct row. Instead of continuing on, Rosa climbed out of the cart with me and headed toward Hallwyn, who was hugging herself and pacing back and forth. Drat. With Rosa along, I could hardly work any of my own magic. Maybe after we spoke to Hallwyn, I could convince her to go away.

  “Amber, it’s back. It’s back.” Hallwyn had been crying again. Was she one of those who cried all the time? That sort of thing drove me nuts. And the fact that the elf’s face wasn’t blotchy and red as she sobbed annoyed me even more.<
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  “Wow, those vines are even worse than they were last night,” Rosa commented. “What did you do to them? You’re supposed to be helping, not causing the disease to go into overdrive.”

  And now Hallwyn was crying even more. “I didn’t! There was no disease left at all in these plants last night. None. Why is it back? What happened? I’ll never be able to get rid of it. I’ll be fired and have to go back to Elf Island or become a sex-slave breeder for a hideous hairy human with bad breath and warts on his skin.”

  Rosa and I exchanged astonished glances. “Is she always like this?” the woman asked me.

  “I’ve got no idea,” I responded. “I’ve only known her a few days and we’re not exactly besties or anything.”

  “Stop crying.” Rosa patted the elf awkwardly on the shoulder. “Maybe if you try again it will work. Here, have a cookie.”

  Hallwyn choked back her sobs and took the offered cookie, gagging and spitting out the bite she took. “It’s too sweet and tastes like chemicals.”

  “I think I hate her,” Rosa commented, eyeing the elf’s reaction to the coveted treats.

  “The downy mildew was gone,” I assured Hallwyn. “I checked myself, and it was gone. Apixt or her sister must have come back and re-infected the plant.”

  “What, what, what?” Rosa’s head swiveled back and forth between us at whiplash speed. “What do you mean ‘Apixt or her sister’? Are you saying there are two women walking around with a box of fungus and leafrollers and slapping it on our vines, on purpose?”

  I really wished Rosa would go away. “Since when have you ever seen all these diseases and pests, many of which require completely opposite conditions to thrive, infecting a vineyard all at once and to this degree? Yes, it’s on purpose. And it’s not some women, it’s a pair of plague demons doing this.”

  Rosa stared at me, then munched thoughtfully on another cookie. “Two years ago I would have thought you were crazy, but since I’m working side-by-side with pointy-ears here, I believe you. So do these plague demons just show up out of nowhere?”