by Rena Marks
“I’ve known you all this time while you all pretended—to me—that each of you were Pax?”
Happy winced. “Well, technically. But we could hardly tell you that Xeno Sapiens have strange differences compared to humans. And that Pax’s differences meant he could break off into shards. Aspects of his personalities. Six of us come through at once, sometimes. This six. We’ve called ourselves the Sextet.”
“You all kept this from me.” Obviously she knew there were differences, dammit. His intelligence was unprecedented. Though he didn’t look as strange as some of the Xeno Sapiens, his fucking skin color had a touch of aqua. His eyes were unusual with their amberish, gold color. His pupils, elongated instead of round.
“Looks like Pax kept something from us.” One of the shards—aspects—whatever, stood staring down at the doll, which stared ahead frozen.
“Focus,” the first one who’d spoken to her growled.
“What other secrets are there in this laboratory of horrors?” Serena asked.
The one who called himself Happy held out his hands. “None. I swear. That’s it.” It was like as if by unspoken agreement, they’d all agreed to let him talk to her. Of course. He was happy. They probably thought she’d get along best with him.
“Really? So that one”—she pointed at the aspect who stared at the doll—“knows you’ve been intimate with me? That was you that satisfied me the first time after we discovered the feeling of the nerve endings in my skin, correct?”
He nodded, uncomfortably. The shard who had been staring at the doll stared accusingly at Happy.
“And Mr. Sexy over there—”
“We call him Lust.”
“Whatever. Who’s aware that Sexy has been pleasuring me also? Who’s aware that the most impatient one of you all has been pleasuring me?” She pointed at that one, for effect. It had him uncomfortably pulling at his tie—only to realize he didn’t have it.
“You’ve all been—touching her?” Pax had the nerve to snarl as he pushed himself from the arms of the one who held him.
“All except for you, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes,” she muttered. “You’ve been fucking a sex doll with my face.”
“Not just your face,” the one next to the doll said. He peered between the doll’s legs.
“Shut up, Taut,” Pax said.
“I need all of you to get away from me,” Serena said, stepping backward.
“Serena.” One of the aspects reached out and took her arm. She hissed in shock and pain and he dropped her arm like it was a burning stick.
He stared at her, his eyes wide and horrified. “I’m so sorry, Rena! I forgot none of us have put on the bubble suit.”
She clutched her burning elbow to her body. Slowly she backed out of the room, aware of all their eyes on her. When she cleared the door, she took a deep breath, reached out and slammed the door shut as hard as she could.
She went and huddled on her bed, telling the computer to set it to cooling and letting herself lay with her injured elbow under her, where it could sit against the mat.
Then she settled back to listen to the shouts coming from the other room. Wishing she could make out the words and not just the sounds.
Chapter Seven
Pax:
ALL AROUND HIM, the aspects were raging. This was so fucked up and he couldn’t even pretend it was all them. It was him also. They were him.
And he’d starting the yelling. As soon as the door slammed, he’d accused them of touching her. Then they all accused each other of touching her. No one could make out any of the arguments going around the room.
“Stop,” he said wearily.
“Stop?” Happy asked angrily. “You’re just jealous because you were too chicken-shit to touch her.”
“I know.”
All the voices stopped.
“You know?”
“I was jealous. I am jealous,” he corrected. “And dammit, you all know what Robyn warned us about. That Serena might have a misplaced case of hero-worship.”
“Who says it’s misplaced?” Happy said. “Robyn called it a case of hero-worship. She never said misplaced.”
“Are you sure?” Impatience said.
“I was there,” Happy said distinctly. “She told us back when we moved Rena from Medbay to the lab that we’d be her only link to the rest of the world. And it might cause a case of hero-worship.”
“Of course, it’s misplaced,” Pax snapped.
“No, it’s not. Robyn never meant it was misplaced. She never meant we were misplaced,” Happy said, looking at Pax as he spoke. “I think you don’t feel worthy of Serena. You don’t feel whole. It’s why you hide us like we’re some kind of…alien growths. We’re here, Pax, and we’re here to stay. We’re a part of you. A very normal part for our species, whatever species that may be. Instead of accepting us and allowing yourself to feel less isolated, you hide us and keep us separate from you. You created that thing”—he pointed at the frozen doll splayed out on the bed—“and kept it as your dirty little secret instead of letting us all share it. Instead of letting us share your blame of it being a dirty little secret. Do you know why? Because if we all enjoyed the sexual pleasure with a doll, it’s not such a dirty secret anymore, is it? It becomes acceptable. Normal. And you can’t punish yourself with acceptable and normal. Pax has to punish himself for not being whole.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Pax has to punish himself for having shards. You can’t let us pop out. You have to fight it every inch of the way and suffer with birthing pains instead.”
Is that how they saw him? As always punishing himself and, therefore, them? Fuck if it didn’t make sense.
“Birthing pains?” Taut asked.
“During our meeting, Robyn measured them. She said it’s akin to the final stage of childbirth, but without any preparation beforehand. The pain hits suddenly and it hits hard. She’s surprised Pax doesn’t pass out from the shock of going from ground zero to twenty.”
“Pax,” Taut said, his voice soft. “Is that really what you want?”
“No—I, uh—”
“I won’t come out anymore,” Taut whispered. “I won’t have you suffer that way and then resent me for it. I’ll stay inside until I cease to exist.”
“Taut,” Happy said, reaching for him. “No.”
“Yes.”
Happy pulled him to him, hugging him like a brother. Pax saw him deposit a kiss onto Taut’s cheek. Fuck.
This was Pax’s job. To love his aspects unconditionally. But he couldn’t because to love his aspects…he’d have to love himself.
He’d have to love himself.
“I will, too,” Vain said, distracting him from his thoughts. “I know I’m one of your least favorites—”
“No,” Pax said.
Everyone froze.
“No one’s going anywhere,” he said. “Come here.” He yanked Taut from Happy, and hugged him to himself. Over his shoulder, he spoke to everyone else. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t treat any of you like real people. I’m sorry I treated you like—like…”
“Mutant freaks?” Happy asked.
“Shh,” Impatience snapped. “Let the man apologize. Go on, Pax.”
Pax sighed. “Like mutant freaks to be ashamed of. I was projecting the image of my own self worth onto you. That wasn’t fair and I’m sorry.”
“So we’re free to come and go as we please?” Impatience asked.
“Within boundaries,” Pax said. “Common sense boundaries. No bursting out if the outer world can see. Or during times when it might freak out the other people in the room.”
“We know the boundaries,” Impatience said quietly. “We pushed them because we were irritated at being hidden.”
After the intense hug, Taut pulled away from him, but stayed in his personal space as if seeking comfort from the few inches between them.
“Truce?” Pax asked them, looking around at each individual.
“Truce,” echoed around the room.
; “Now what are we going to do about that?” Impatience asked, one eye on the sex doll.
Pax winced. The thing was filled with his sperm. “Closet?”
“Yeah.” Impatience picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. They all grimaced at the passive flop she made.
Pax wondered what he’d been thinking when he created her. She was the height and weight of Serena…but now, in shut-down mode, she appeared heavy, her arms and legs dead weight. Like a dead person. He’d been fucking a mockery of Serena.
When Impatience returned, Happy stated the next problem. “How do we fix this with Serena?”
“Which one of us loves her the most?” Impatience asked.
“We love her equally,” Happy said. “We are part of the same person.”
“But will she accept all of us equally?”
“How can she not? As a sextet, there’s no use denying that we are rather lovely to look at.” There was utter silence after Vain’s matter of fact comment. He was studying a cuticle.
“Holy hell. Are you for real?” Envy asked.
“What?” Vain asked, confusion strewn across his face.
“Much as I’d like to laugh at that statement, it’s actually true,” Happy said. “I don’t see why she should have to choose.”
“All of us together are overwhelming,” Pax said. “Especially since she just found out about us. We need to talk to her one on one. The way we did before. But now she can call us our true names.”
“I’m not going by Grumpy,” Impatience snarled, glaring at each one of them.
Pax felt a small smile touch his lips. “She doesn’t even think of you as impatient, much less grumpy. She thinks you’re simply short-tempered with situations, but never impatient. Not with her.”
“She’s just in love. Give her time,” Happy said, bumping Impatience with his shoulder. Impatience actually calmed.
“I can talk to her first,” Impatience said. “Work out a system so she knows each of us will visit her. Each of us will give her our name beforehand so she doesn’t feel tricked by us. And those of us, ahem, who, uh, have been dallying with her sexually…”
Vain snorted. “What are you, the Mother Superior? Who says that?” His voice was high pitched. “…dallying with her sexually…”
Impatience snarled and Pax started laughing.
“How the fuck do you all stand each other?”
There was even more laughter at his question. When it died down, they all stared at each other soberly.
“I agree,” Happy said. “She’ll be nice to Impatience. He’ll get right to the point and not dick around.”
“She does tend to like your personality,” Pax murmured.
“Plus she’s pissed at Happy for being the first one to touch her and not tell her,” Taut said.
“I think Impatience is right. He’s the one for the job,” Vain said.
“Let’s get you suited up,” Pax said. “The rest of you can hang out back here with me, like the coward that I am.”
“Like the cowards that we are,” Taut grinned. “Glad I don’t have to face her.”
Serena:
When the doors opened, she’d been lying on her side across the bed. One of them came across the room and pulled up a chair. He turned it backward, straddling it.
“Gonna pout all day?”
Short-tempered bastard.
“As long as I feel like it.” She narrowed her eyes at him. All the times she’d defended this one for being short and to the point and this is who they sent out to her? She knew exactly who he was, but she decided to play as if she didn’t care. “Which one are you?”
“Sometimes they call me Grumpy.” He rolled his eyes. “If I have to choose, I prefer Impatience. I do get impatient putting up with their shit.”
She raised her eyebrows, saying nothing. She knew what he was doing. Trying to align himself with her and pretend he didn’t think as they did. But he forgot one little detail.
He had Pax’s face.
So she didn’t respond, ignoring him for a bit.
Impatience—the emotion, not his name—made him bristle. “Look, we were wrong. We know that now. But may I tell you how it came about?”
She nodded because, quite frankly, this ought to be good.
“When you were unconscious and submerged in the gel, we were running out of time. The bio-film skin wasn’t ready for organic substances. It was created for prosthetics, robotics”—he winced—“things like that.” He paused. “Obviously.”
He looked a little uncomfortable as he referred to Pax’s sex doll. Did all of these…parts of Pax feel his same feelings? Was he ashamed of the sex-bot? Then why the hell had Pax created it?
“We couldn’t get it to attach in samples in the lab until week three. You couldn’t survive for longer than a month and we already dreaded taking that much time and making you go through the painful process of having to be awakened and removed from the gel. We didn’t want to traumatize you further and have six look-a-likes staring down at you every day. We honestly thought we were doing you a favor.”
“Like the sexual favors?”
He tugged at his tie. He’d been shirtless when he’d emerged from Pax so sometime between now and then, he’d gotten dressed. And bubbled.
“Uh, yeah, about that…”
She almost laughed out loud. She’d forgotten that Mr. Short And To The Point had almost been somewhat clinical over bringing her orgasms in the beginning. He’d gotten better, but…she schooled her face so he’d continue to talk.
“Apparently, since we’re all essentially Pax, we all have the same basic ideas. Each person thought he was being unique in his relationship with you. We just didn’t realize that everyone was acting out on it. We were all surprised to find that everyone had chosen to be intimate with you. I can’t help but feel a tiny bit of jealousy that you find all of them attractive.” He raked his hand through his unruly hair. “I mean, I know we all look the same. But surely you prefer some personalities to some others?”
“It’s kind of hard to describe,” she said gently. “I thought you were all one person. One attractive, sexy…but moody person. You don’t really prefer one over another when you believe it’s all one person.”
“I’m going to guess that…like me, every aspect wanted to feel special.”
“You are special, Impatience. Now that I know you’re you.”
His eyes shifted up to her face. “That’s the first time you referred to me. The first time you didn’t think I was Pax.”
She smiled at him. “I’m pleased to meet you, Impatience. I’d be glad to continue our friendship.”
“We’re at”—he coughed into his hand—“a little more than friendship, aren’t we?”
Considering he’d strummed her clit numerous times? He knew her body better than she knew his? “Uh, yeah, we’re a little more than friends. But it’s sort of hard to label, isn’t it? Let’s just take one day at a time while I get used to the fact that I know many more people in my world than just the original Pax.”
“About him—”
“He’s the only one who hasn’t touched me. He’s the only one to run off with boners so he could create some—some kind of—” she wasn’t sure how to describe the sex doll.
Impatience winced at the word boner. “He’s thoroughly embarrassed. Trust me, he feels for you. If he didn’t, we wouldn’t all have this attraction toward you. But give him a chance, will you? Get to know him like we do?”
“He’ll have to work for it.”
“Understood. Just remember he’s a bit socially”—he coughed into his hand again—“awkward.”
That was rich. She covered her smile. “I understand, Impatience.”
“Good, good.” He stood up abruptly, as impatient as ever. “I’ll get back there and relieve some of their worst fears.”
“Impatience?” she called out.
He paused, turning to look back over his shoulder at her.
“We’re not q
uite sure what this relationship is,” she stated. “But don’t you think it would be a bit…proper to kiss me goodbye? I think all of this”—she gestured down the front of her body at her bio-film skin—“taught us that life is fleeting.”
Slowly he turned, something indefinable scrolling across his face.
“And I appreciate you,” she continued. “I appreciate that you were the one to come in here and break the ice for the rest.”
“Me?” he whispered. “I wouldn’t think that I would be one of your more favored aspects—”
“You are.”
He leaned down, hands on the bed on either side of her. His firm lips came down onto hers. She could feel the pressure as he lingered over her mouth, kissing her. But, of course, she couldn’t taste him, couldn’t lick him the way she wanted. But as far as a kiss went…this wasn’t bad at all. This made her want more.
Then he stood. “One day,” he whispered. “One day we’ll figure out how to get you away from the bubble. And I’ll kiss the hell out of you then.”
She slowly licked her lip, remembering the feel of him. “I look forward to it.”
Chapter Eight
THE LOT OF THEM left her alone for a bit as if they’d reached an agreement to allow her process the new information. It was as if they could rest now that they knew she was okay with everything. Or, at least she assumed Impatience reported their conversation. At the same time, she wondered what it would be like when a new one arrived. Would there be a moment of awkwardness? Would they just assume she was okay with him since she was okay with Impatience? Or would they react like individuals and expect their own forgiveness? And where did that leave her relationship with Pax?
She realized why they took turns keeping her company while pretending to be Pax. It was crazy that she hadn’t thought of it before because she distinctly remembered waking up during the night and feeling his presence some nights. How in the world did she think he’d slept when he was with her 24/7? But who would have ever thought that multiple people emerged from Pax? It was a crazy thought.
But she was still angry with him. Frustrated, maybe. How the hell could he have created a doll in her image to relieve himself when she was right here? Available? He was the original person—and the one she knew the least well. All of the aspects, as they called themselves, had been more open with her than he ever had.