Nineteen
Page 20
He leans against the bar and turns his head towards me, he has anger in his eyes and I am waiting for him to blow. Liam can be just as head strong as me when he wants to.
‘She told me Jake, she told me everything. The only thing I can’t work out is where you fit into all this, I mean I know you weren’t the guy who attacked her but fucking hell bro, she fainted when she saw your face on TV the other day.’ His angry face has now morphed into confusion.
‘What?’ I bite out, not sure if I heard him correctly over the beat of the music.
‘What the hell do you mean she fainted when she saw me?’
‘Exactly that, we were in a bar in Italy, I got a little excited when I saw your face on a TV entertainment programme and then next thing I know she looks like she has seen a ghost and then passes out cold.’
He breaks eye contact and looks back towards the barman who is still busy serving others.
‘Why the fuck would she do that Jake? What the fuck did you do to her?’ his jaw is tense, he’s angry with me for something I do not have a clue about. He most definitely has feeling for her, a friend would not get this wound up.
‘Nothing happened…… well I…….’
Liam interrupts me before I can get anymore out ‘Tell me you didn’t fuck her Jake, just tell me you didn’t fuck Emma, then discard her like yesterday’s trash?’
‘WHAT?! God no! I found her that night Liam, I found her seconds before that bastard was about to rape her but I didn’t get there soon enough to save her from everything else and I blame myself every day for that I swear.’
He stares into my eyes for what feels like minutes, searching for my truth. He nods at me resignedly,
‘OK, I believe you, Nate told me something similar but I had to hear it from you. He also told me you have feelings for her and I’m telling you now, stay away from her Jake, she’s not your type of girl and I will not let you use her like you do every other woman. You may be older than me but this is not a threat it’s a warning. Stay away from her.’
My broiling anger is back in an instant ‘Why Liam? So you can fuck her instead? Let me tell you something little brother, if I wanted Emma she would be mine, there is nothing you or anyone else could do to stop me. I KNOW who and what I am, in fact, fuck you, I do not need to listen to your shit, I’m out of here.’
I storm from the bar without a second glance. How dare he warn me away!
‘Jake wait!’ a hand on my shoulder forces me to spin around and in my anger I raise a fist about to deck whoever has put their hands on me.
‘Listen, Emma’s a friend and I think a lot of her, I…… I just don’t think she could cope with your brand of bullshit that’s all. When Nate told me you had feelings for her I didn’t believe him, I mean you’re Jake, you don’t do feelings. I guess I just had to check it out for myself.’
He holds out his hand for me to grasp. ‘You’re my big brother, I don’t want to fall out with you and I shouldn’t have said what I did but Emma is a really cool girl who’s had a shit time, I was just looking out for her as a friend. We are nothing more Jake, so if you really do like this girl, I won’t be the one to stand in your way. Just don’t hurt her bro.’
I grasp his hand in mine, pulling him in to pat his back. I never could stay pissed at the little squirt for long.
‘She probably doesn’t even remember me anyway. We barely know each other, it’s not like you were cock blocking me little bro, it’s not going to happen anyway and like you said, Emma is too good for the likes of me.’
He gives me a great big shit eating grin and looks over my shoulder at someone approaching.
‘Well Big bro, here she comes, let me introduce you and we can know how she feels about all this.’
He moves away from me to walk towards the VIP exit but I’m frozen to the spot.
Emma is here, not only is she here but I’m about ten seconds away from being introduced to her like we’ve never even fucking met before.
This is all kinds of fucked up.
I manage to breathe, run my fingers through my hair and turn towards the exit.
All I can think about is what if she doesn’t know me or maybe she does and wants nothing to do with me. I have never felt this overwhelming sense of panic ever before in my life and the sensation churns in my gut, turning my thoughts into pulp.
I garner every last ounce of resolve I have left in me and look up to see Emma, stood within touching distance talking to Liam.
Every single cell in my body freezes in reaction to seeing her. She has her hair loose and long, the tousled waves caressing the sides of her breasts. The exquisite, baby blue, lace dress she is wearing only serves to highlight the spellbinding colour of her eyes.
Whatever he is saying to her is making her smile, then her smile drops and her head turns slowly in my direction.
My heart stutters in my chest when her eyes meet mine, my blood slows and I have to flex my fingers at the sensation of pins and needles coursing through my hands.
All I want to do is touch her, hold her, keep her safe, tell her I’m sorry and beg for forgiveness.
The startled look on her face stops me from doing any of those things, in fact it makes me want to run and I have to physically restrain myself from doing so.
If this is what having ‘feelings’ for someone does to you, I want to run kicking and screaming back to my old ways, as this shit hurts.
She breaks eye contact from me and turns back to Liam, her now ashen face reflecting in the lights of the club. Shaking her head, she glances quickly in my direction before tugging her arm out of Liam’s grasp and walking away from him.
She’s doing it again, running away from me as fast as her legs can carry her, only this time it guts me.
I stand rigid; feeling like someone has just taken a sword to my chest, causing my soul to spill out on the floor surrounding me.
I have to let her run. Her instincts are right to make her do so, she sees me for what I really am and who am I to disappoint?
I’m feeling more than a little apprehensive about attending the opening night at Accede.
Going over everything at the club with Nate has settled my nerves somewhat in regards to my job but the butterflies in my stomach are doing cartwheels at the very thought of finally being in the same room as Jake.
It takes around five and a half hours to get up to date with everything in my new office. Nate seems cool, calm and collected about opening night but I feel like a bottle of fizzy pop that has been shaken and at any moment my head my pop off, causing all the bubbles to come gushing out.
I need to get a handle on this before I jeopardise everything. I want to do an amazing job for Nate and in order to do that I can’t let this stuff get in the way but I desperately need to have an hour to myself to get back on track.
Nate pops his head through my office door a few minutes later.
‘Rhian is here to take over, head home for a bit and relax for a couple of hours before you are due back in, I don’t want to be accused of overworking you. Liv would have my nuts for breakfast!’ he grins before turning to leave.
‘Oh hey Nate, before you go can I have a quick word?’
Nate stops in his tracks before walking into the office slowly, trying to gauge what I am about to say.
‘Sure Em, everything alright?’ his face wears a look of genuine concern.
‘Oh yes, everything is fine, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you taking this chance on me and to check if you wanted me to come in any earlier tonight as I know we are going to be full to capacity, so I figured you might need all hands on deck, so to speak.’
‘You’re not due in until 4am Emma, go home, relax, get some sleep, I have a feeling you are going to need it. Tonight is going to be crazy for all sorts of reasons and I need my people fully alert to manage that OK?’ he gives me a small smile before adding ‘So scoot, Liam is waiting for you to take you home, if you want to kick him out though, just tell him he can stay at mine, t
here is plenty of room. I don’t want him taking advantage of your kindness.’ He gives me a knowing look before leaving the room.
Oh heck another person who thinks that Liam and I have got it going on, I am going to have to make him have words with everyone and set them straight. I do not want anyone getting the wrong idea, a little voice tells me to stop lying, I do not want one person in particular to get the wrong idea.
Liam and I arrive back at my apartment and he dives into the shower before I even get a chance to protest, so I grab some chicken salad from the fridge and take it out onto the terrace.
It still feels so surreal being here, I have some amazing friends around me, I have a job to die for and I get to live in a place that I could never afford to rent on my own.
Life is good, no scrap that, it’s better than good. I have not had this sense of completeness for so long that I forgot how enjoyable life could be.
‘Jules, what are you making us to eat? I could eat a scabby horse!’ Liam shouts out from the bathroom, obviously finished with his shower.
‘I don’t know Liam, what did your last slave die of?’ I shout back my retort, rolling my eyes at the cheek of him.
He bounds out of the shower, wearing only shorts, his hair and upper body still slightly wet and lands at my feet eyeing my chicken salad like he’s about to pounce.
‘She didn’t do what I commanded of her Jules, you don’t want to suffer the same fate now do you?’ his face is dead serious as he stares me out, then in the blink of an eye, my bowl of salad is snatched out of my hand and he legs it back inside whooping out in victory.
‘You snooze you lose Jules!’ he mumbles around a mouthful of my food.
I huff before getting up out of my chair and walking towards him at the breakfast bar.
‘You know, Nate said I could kick your arse out if you pissed me off, so hand over the food Liam or your backside will be packed off to Nate’s before you can say ‘My Little Pony’ ever again and that, my friend, would be a fate worse than death, as Liv and Nate are seriously loved up and I’m going to share a secret with you.’ I bend over and whisper in his ear ‘My best friend is a screamer, so good luck with getting any sleep over there.’ I smile slyly before ripping the bowl out his hands and running to my bedroom, shutting the door on his bewildered face.
Hah! Take that clever boy!
After rushing my food to make sure Liam did not try to steal it from me again, I take a leisurely shower and decide I need to try and get a few hours rest before heading to work tonight or else I am going to have a seriously long night ahead of me.
Just as I jump into bed and pull the sheet over my body, Liam knocks once before striding into my room.
‘Well Mr Fox, please come in.’ I say sarcastically before flopping back into my pillows.
‘Play nice Jules, I just had to make my own food and you know I can’t cook. A bag of Doritos dipped in peanut butter does not a healthy boy make.’ He pats his toned, lean stomach before launching himself on the end of my bed.
‘For God’s sake Liam, I’m trying to get some rest here, some of us have to go to work tonight!’
‘Calm down, calm down, I just wanted to ask what time you were going to get to the club that’s all. I’m heading in with the guys when my parents arrive, so we should be there from 10.30pm onwards if you wanted to come in early and keep me company?’ he gives me one of his lopsided smiles, the one, he has come to learn, I can never resist.
‘I’m not due in until 4am Liam and I’ll be in then until close which will be tomorrow lunchtime, I’m not sure I have enough stamina to come in any earlier, please don’t look at me like that.’
Now he has turned on the whole puppy dog face, add that to the smile and I know my resolve is weakening.
‘I tell you what, let me get some sleep and I’ll text you once I’ve woke up and I’m all ready to come in, if it’s any earlier, I’ll come hang out with you for a bit. Deal?’
A beaming smile breaks out across his face ‘Deal Jules but god you run a hard bargain.’
He drags himself up off the bed, leans over to kiss me on the cheek and then he’s gone, closing the door softly behind him.
I adore my newest friend but bloody hell, he wears me out.
I grab my iPod from its dock on my bedside table and pop in my ear buds, hoping some chill out music will help me drift off quickly.
The haunting voice of Florence and The Machine fills my ears, the song building slowly until the crescendo takes me away with it, the words ‘Never Let Me Go’ following me into dreams.
I wake to the shrill sound of my alarm. My sleep fogged brain taking a while to ascertain its location.
Knocking the incessant sound off, I roll over to glance out of the open window. It’s fully dark now, the club has already been open since 9pm and I bet it’s a huge success.
The guest list Nate showed me is massive, add that to the patrons who would undoubtedly be queuing around the block to get in and you can safely say that Accede would be bouncing tonight.
Remembering what I said earlier to Liam about coming in early, I grab my phone and send him a text.
Just woke up will b with u in about 90 mins
Rising from bed, I run my hands through my hair and glance over at my built in wardrobe.
What should I wear? I wish I had the sense to ask Liv to pick something out for me; I’m useless at this kind of thing.
Groaning slightly, I drag myself up out of the bed to peruse my pathetically stocked closet.
Hanging inside the door with a note attached is a beautiful, baby blue, lace dress.
Saw this and knew it would look amazing on you! Wear this tonight and leave your hair down!
Love you. Liv xxx
I bloody adore that girl and know I would be lost without her. Grabbing my phone to thank her I can see Liam has replied.
Jules hurry! I need 2 b saved from all this family shit, come rescue me & I’ll buy you lunch 2moro!
I laugh out loud, Liam can be such a drama queen.
OK Princess, I will come rescue u ;-)
Within seconds he texts back.
Did u just call me a Princess??!!??
That makes me belly laugh, I can see his face now, all perplexed and pissed off.
Throwing my phone on the bed, I go to the bathroom to freshen up before dressing in my beautiful gift from Liv and doing as she requested, styling my hair into loose waves and leaving it down.
After applying minimal make-up, I grab a quick bite to eat before calling for a taxi.
I text Liam and Liv to let them know I am on my way, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Tonight is going to be fine, more than fine in fact.
My friends are going to be there, I am going to spend time with them before impressing Nate with my awesome managerial skills and Jake Fox will not even notice me, let alone remember me. I mean it has been months.
Outside Accede, I text Liam to say I have arrived before making my way to the staff entrance, situated just around the corner from the main doors. The queue to get in does indeed go around the block and I expect all those waiting, will be there a very long time.
Entering the club is like walking into a different world. Everyone here tonight looks like they have fallen straight out of the pages of a glossy magazine.
To say I feel a bit awkward is an understatement but I push those thoughts aside. This is my work place, I belong here.
Walking as confidently as I can towards the VIP area, I immediately spot Liam through the throngs of clubbers. He is talking to someone with his back to me.
As soon as he sees me his face lights up, he pats whoever he is with on the shoulder and walks around him straight towards me.
Giving me a tight hug he looks me up and down before saying ‘Wow Jules, you scrub up real well you know.’ The cheeky grin on his face makes me slap his upper arm.
‘You can call me Emma sometimes you know or I’m going to find an unfunny nickname for
you!’
He laughs at me before his eyes turn a serious, although he still has that small, lopsided, grin on his face.
‘Well Emma, I have someone to introduce you to. Meet my brother Jake, although I think you two already know each other.’ He looks away, back towards the person he was previously been talking to.
I cannot help myself from turning to look, I have wanted to see Jake for so long it feels almost unreal that I finally get to.
My eyes immediately land on someone I never expected to see. His striking blue gaze disarms me completely and in an instant, I get a flashback back of that night, of those eyes looking at me filled with lust, holding me captive.
I remember everything.
I remember the fall, I remember dancing, I remember his lips almost touching mine.
I can vividly see him with his tongue down the throat of some stunning woman who appeared out of nowhere.
I can feel the shame I felt, knowing I was just being played with and then it hits me like a lead weight.
I remember running, screaming for help, the cold, wet, dark alleyway and the cement beneath my cheek.
The memories crash over me like a tidal wave, washing away the confidence I have so carefully been building, forcing me abruptly into the darkness.
Those beautiful blue eyes can see into my heart and soul and yet still he rejected me. They have also seen me broken.
Standing here now and looking over at the most stunning man I have ever seen, I can see the pity in them, frozen on his face as plain as day.
I can literally feel my strength being drained away from me.
I cannot cope with this, so I escape, I turn and run as fast as I can through the crowds, hoping to get to the sanctuary of my office before anyone catches up with me.
How can a pair of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, envelope me in darkness and yet still I yearn to walk towards them, to find the light that must reside within their depths.