Nineteen

by E. S. Carter

  This girl is stunning.

  I know the moment she spots me as her step falters for a second before she hitches her chin a little, straightens her shoulders and makes her way towards me.

  I cannot move. All I can do is stare.

  Even the swarm of people around her seem to part, making way for the angel in their midst.

  She stops a foot in front of me, a small smile gracing her full lips.

  All I can think is how much I want to see her eyes.

  ‘Hi’ my monosyllabic greeting is about all my barren mouth can speak.

  I step towards her and reach up to take the sunglasses from her face, baring those spellbinding eyes.

  She blinks slowly, adjusting to the bright sunlight but never taking her eyes away from mine.

  ‘Hi’ her voice sounds husky and unused and the small smile develops into a full blown grin, showing me her perfect teeth.

  Is there any part of this girl that is not utter perfection?

  I want to take her into my arms, mould her body against mine, feel every inch of her silky smooth skin, touch and taste every single part of her, until no place has been left undiscovered.

  I settle on taking her hand in mine, interlocking our fingers and directing her towards the boats in front of us.

  ‘I hope you don’t get seasick.’ Shit, I did not think this through properly.

  She looks up at me pondering her reply.

  Oh this is just bloody great, I bet she hates boats and does not know how to reply. I have fucked this afternoon up before it has even begun.

  ‘I was going to mess with you and say I had a phobia of the ocean but that seems a little mean, so I’m going to be honest and say, I love sailing, thank you for inviting me.’

  Her smile lights up her entire face; instantly relaxing the last of my nerves.

  ‘Thank God for that, for a second there I thought this afternoon was over before it had even began and I do not have a plan B.’ I give her a relieved grin and guide her towards the second row of boats, where the owner had said he is moored.

  I spot ours straight away; it is beautiful, if you can call a boat that and I am again relieved that this date is going as I planned.

  ‘This is us.’ We stop in front of ‘Never Say Goodbye’ and I watch her reaction as she takes in the majestic yacht in front of us.

  ‘Wow, is this yours?’ she seems a little overawed and her eyes are locked onto the boats name.

  ‘No not mine, I’ve hired it for us for the afternoon and before you ask, I don’t have a clue about sailing, I just wanted you all to myself for a few hours.’ I cannot help the heated look I give her, try as I might to reign in the desire I feel for her, it is downright impossible and the slight blush to her cheeks from my words, only makes me harder.

  Cool yourself down Jake, at this rate you will have her naked and spread out beneath you before this boat even leaves the marina.

  ‘Shall we?’ I guide her onboard, discreetly rearranging my hard on when she has her back to me.

  ‘Mr Fox, it’s a pleasure to have you sailing on the Never today.’ Max, the boat’s owner introduces himself to us. He is mid to late 50’s and exactly how you would expect the captain of a yacht to be. Tanned from spending his days out at sea, debonair with an older man’s charm and physically fit with a physique to rival mine even though he is twice my age.

  He takes Emma’s hand in his and presses a light kiss to the back of it.

  I cannot help but throw the suave, old, sea dog daggers. If it didn’t make me sound pathetic, I could quite happily growl at him to let her go. Instead I wrap a protective arm around her waist and let the dirty old dog know that we are ready to depart.

  ‘Of course Mr Fox.’ He replies while still eye fucking Emma. ‘Please make yourselves comfortable on deck, refreshments are available for you and you are free to explore the Never while I make the necessary arrangements to depart.’

  I give Max a curt nod, never taking my arm from around Emma and he leaves us to prepare the boat.

  ‘I can’t believe you arranged all this for us.’ Emma’s voice holds a mixture of amazement and excitement.

  ‘Like I said, I needed it to be just you and me. I have to leave on an early flight tomorrow and today is just for us. I’m selfish like that Emma, I don’t want to share you with anyone.’

  Her eyes fly up to mine, they show a little of her apprehension but they are also filled with something else, something I can’t quite discern.

  ‘Thank You Jake, its perfect.’ She looks away shyly and I swear I hear her whisper ‘I don’t want to share you either.’

  Sleep. That elusive five letter word that my body desperately needs but my overactive mind will not allow happen.

  I stare at the ceiling of my room for what seems like an eternity. I have been lying in my bed for hours and not managed more than an hour or so of restless sleep.

  I have thrown the covers off me, then pulled them back on, rearranged my pillows and changed sleeping positions that many times, I am starting to get annoyed.

  I tell myself that my inability to find slumber is because I am not used to sleeping in the daytime heat but that is an utter lie. My room has air conditioning and a huge ceiling fan, my insomnia has nothing to do with the temperature outside and everything to do with him.

  Jake.

  I try dozens of techniques to stop my mind from wandering to thoughts of a certain Fox. From reciting Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’, to listing the Capital cities of as many world countries as I can think of, I even try counting sheep!

  Nothing works, he invades my every thought. I feel as though a kaleidoscope of butterflies have taken up residence in my stomach. The fluttering of hundreds of wings sending shivers through my body, causing goose bumps to form on my skin.

  This is completely futile; I just as well get up than keep torturing myself lying here.

  Throwing on a pair of my favourite big, comfy, knickers (Liam called them passion killers when he spotted them in my luggage!) and an oversized tee, I poke my head out of my door into the hallway, my eyes quickly scanning for any signs that Liam may be up.

  It all sounds quiet enough and his bedroom door is shut. The coast is clear.

  I silently make my way into the kitchen and fill the kettle to make myself a much needed cup of tea, grabbing my phone from the counter where it has been charging for the last few hours.

  No messages, not a single one.

  Maybe Jake is still asleep, maybe he has had second thoughts, maybe I should have given him my number and not assumed he would just find it out if he wanted to.

  Maybe I need to grow the hell up and stop acting like a bloody schoolgirl having her first crush!

  The kettle clicks, steam rising from the spout and I stare aimlessly through it, day dreaming about how soft a certain pair of lips were against mine.

  ‘Whatcha doing Jules? You away with the fairies again?’

  I jump, startled by Liam’s words and the unexpected contact of his arm across my shoulders. I was so preoccupied with day dreaming about his brother that I never heard him coming.

  ‘For God’s sake Liam! Stop bloody scaring the shit out of me, I’ll have a heart attack one day and then who will you tease relentlessly?’ I shrug out from under his arm and proceed to make tea, holding a cup up to him in silent question.

  ‘Jules you know I’m a coffee man, tea is for wimps.’ He winks at me before reaching for his phone that lays beside mine.

  ‘I guess you expect me to make that for you?’ I ask sarcastically knowing the answer.

  He does not respond, just blows me a kiss before retreating into the living room.

  Bloody Fox men, damn them and their irresistible charms!

  Tea in one hand and scolding mug of coffee in the other, I walk into the living room to find Liam sprawled across the sofa with his feet up on the coffee table.

  ‘What did your last slave die of?’ I nudge his feet off the table and place his cof
fee on a coaster in front of him.

  ‘She didn’t do as I commanded Jules, I’ve warned you of this before’ He playfully waggles his brows at me before patting the cushion next to him, gesturing for me to sit down.

  ‘Anyone ever tell you that you are too funny for your own good?’ I place my tea next to his and plop down next to him, draping my legs across his lap.

  ‘I just got a text.’ He says out of the blue, looking over at me while I take a sip of my very hot tea.

  ‘That often happens when you own a mobile phone.’ I smirk over at him, wondering why he is sharing something so ordinary.

  He stares at me in silence for a beat too long, takes a deep breath and then adds ‘From Jake.’

  Those butterflies in my stomach morph into a herd of stampeding buffalo and I cannot hide the effect his disclosure has.

  Steadying my nerves I take another sip of tea before looking at him dead on, trying my hardest to convey a nonchalant demeanour.

  ‘OK and you are sharing that little titbit of information with me because….?’

  He never breaks eye contact with me, his eyes searching mine for whatever secrets he thinks I have hidden in them. I hate him scrutinising me like this, it makes me feel like a recalcitrant child.

  ‘Because Jules, he wants your address, apparently he’s taking you out today?’ he breaks eye contact and leans to retrieve his mug of coffee from the table.

  ‘Care to enlighten me as to why he might think that?’

  My silence obviously speaks volumes, although I cannot for the life of me think why I need to hide any of this from Liam, it’s his own brother I am going out with, not some psycho serial killer.

  Clearing my throat, I take another sip of my now cooling drink and look him dead on.

  ‘He asked me out for the afternoon Liam, not that it’s any business of yours, it’s not like I’m going out with a total stranger and he is your brother after all.’ My voice sounds stronger than I thought it would, so I decide to ask him a question instead of being bombarded by his interrogation.

  ‘Why is everyone so against Jake wanting to spend time with me? I know his reputation Liam, I’m not some naïve, groupie that thinks she’s hooked herself the ultimate badboy. Give me some fucking credit please. Being treated like a fragile, broken, doll is getting old.’

  Surprising myself with my mini rant, I get up abruptly and take my half consumed tea into the kitchen.

  ‘I don’t think you are broken Jules.’ Liam calls out to me, ‘I think you are one of the strongest, most genuine, open hearted people I have ever met. He’s my brother and I say this because he is my brother, he doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t deserve to even get the chance to break you, that’s what we all worry about.’

  I ignore his words; they have hit me exactly where it hurts.

  Jake is a player, he is not interested in me, even his close family believe this.

  Can I cope with being just one of his numerous flings, if that is even what he wants?

  Forcing away the thoughts that threaten to drag me down, I decide to do what I want for a change and I want to go out with Jake this afternoon. It’s just one afternoon, how much damage can spending a few hours with him do?

  So what if he thinks I will be an easy lay, I will not be no matter how insanely attracted to him I am.

  I am not easy or stupid, plus who says he even wants that from me?

  I stand in the doorway looking over at the sofa where Liam is still stretched out.

  ‘Tell him I’ll meet him there.’

  His head flicks towards me, a small frown on his face before he gives a slight nod and begins to text out a reply to Jake.

  ‘I’m grabbing a shower, forward the details to my phone please?’

  He nods again, not looking back at me.

  I begin to slowly walk away before a thought hits me deep in the gut.

  Oh dear God! I hope Liam is not behaving this way because of jealousy? No he can’t be, we do not have that kind of relationship at all, he is my best friend after Liv and more like a big brother.

  Still maybe we need to have a chat when I get back, I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially Liam’s, by obliviously trampling all over them.

  I am standing in a ridiculously cold shower, starting to freak out over what to wear when I hear a knock on the door before Liam strides in.

  I frantically grab my wash cloth to cover the most important bits and wrap my other arm over my boobs.

  ‘Bloody hell Liam, just because you knock doesn’t mean you can just enter! Have you not heard of privacy?’

  He lets out a deep laugh ‘Jules, I’ve seen it all before, besides I’m not even looking at that Tweety bird flannel you have placed across your nether regions.’

  I groan and remind myself that I cannot get out of the shower to slap him.

  ‘Jesus Christ Liam, you’ve not seen mine before and get your eyes up off my Tweety or I’m going to shave your eyebrows off when you sleep.’

  ‘Calm down, calm down. My eyes haven’t even travelled south, I saw Tweety earlier folded on the towel rail, I just figured you’d be using his poor, innocent, body to shield your lady bits and scare that sweet, little bird for life,’

  ‘Grrrr, get out Liam!’ I throw a soaking wet sponge over the shower door and laugh uncontrollably when I hear it hit its target.

  ‘No need to get violent Jules, I was only coming to let you know you have to be at the Marina by 4pm. We don’t want you late for you big “date” now do we.’

  Even though I cannot see him I just know he used his fingers to highlight the word date.

  ‘Message received, now get out or the shampoo bottle is coming over next and that might do some damage to your good looks if it hits you in the face, which is exactly where I’ll be aiming.’

  He chuckles, throwing the sponge back over at me.

  ‘Your aim is good but not that good Jules, now be a nice girl and extract Tweety from the horror you’ve inflicted on him these last few minutes.’

  He ducks out of the bathroom, closing the door quickly, just as the newly soaked sponge hits it with force.

  After a 45 minute ransack of my wardrobe and numerous texts to Liv about what I should wear, I settle on the long, white, embroiderie anglais summer dress she suggested. It is simple, does not scream ‘Shag me now!’ and highlights my tan, plus it can be worn anywhere.

  Just because we are meeting at the Marina does not mean we are going on a boat. The area is surrounded by restaurants and bars, he could just be taking me for a casual drink or a meal.

  Liv suggested I leave my hair down but I do not have the time to tame it, so I gather it to one side and twist it into a thick braid. Some mascara and lip balm are the only two items of make-up I can confidently use, so once I have settled on my outfit, I am ready to go with plenty of time to spare.

  Liam eyeballs me as I come out of my room but surprisingly has no smart comments to make.

  I gather up everything I need to take with me and throw it all in my bag, popping my sunglasses on my head before I lean over the sofa and place a light kiss on his cheek.

  ‘Don’t worry so much about me Liam, I’m a big girl now.’

  I ruffle his hair before making my way to the apartment door.

  ‘I am not trying to be a prick Jules, I’m sorry if I was. Have a good time. I’ll see you at Nate’s party tonight.’

  Serious Liam, who apologises, leaves me dumbstruck. I want to throw a witty retort over my shoulder at him but settle for a small smile and a wave.

  ‘See you later, save me a seat at the party.’

  He smiles in return and I know all is well between us, he is just trying to be a big brother to me, which is kind of ironic seeing that he is trying to protect me from his big brother.

  The Marina is bustling, crowds of holidaymakers mingle with locals and boat operators, the vibrancy of the scenery and people is contagious and my nerves begin to dissipate. That is until I see Jake.


  He is stood not twenty feet in front of me and even though he is also wearing sunglasses I can feel his gaze lock with mine. The intensity I feel just seeing him causes my steps to falter and reawakens the butterflies in my stomach.

  He looks like a God amongst men, even with shades covering his cerulean eyes, his masculine beauty pours from him, almost tangible enough to taste.

  He is wearing loose fitting, chambray jeans that have been rolled up a little, a pure white cotton shirt rolled up at the sleeves and simple, brown leather, thong sandals.

  He looks like he belongs here, like he has lived here all his life.

  This bronzed Apollo, who has not taken his eyes from me for a second, makes me feel wanted, makes me feel desired and a little like prey.

  I ignore the fluttering in my stomach and approach him with as much natural confidence as I can muster, stopping just an arm’s length away from him.

  ‘Hi’ his voice is smooth and he has a shy smile on his face. Before I can reply he reaches forward and gently removes my aviators. The bright sunlight does not distract from the man who stands before me, the man who has yet to take his eyes off me. This knowledge delights me and I cannot contain the joy from escaping onto my face in a huge grin.

  He takes my hand with his and entwines our fingers. This innocent touch sends sparks of electricity over my skin and warmth to my chest.

  He guides me towards a row of beautiful boats, stopping in front of one that is not the biggest or the most splendid but it is still impressive and has the most appropriate name, ‘Never Say Goodbye’.

  My heart stutters in my chest, the memory of the exquisite bouquets and thoughtful notes he sent me, washing over me and catching my breath.