Let There Be Love: The Sled Dog Series, Book 1

by Melissa Storm

  She took a deep breath and tried to relax her posture. Did he really mean those words? Would things be different from here on out? “You’re right. I do.”

  “And I’m going to do better, I promise. Only, please come home, Lauren. Please.”

  “How can I trust you when you don’t trust me? You go to these ridiculous lengths to protect your secret past, and then you accuse me of burning down your shed. Intentionally, no less.”

  “I know, I know.” His voice cracked, and he hung his head.

  Lauren thought she may have spied the beginnings of tears, but Shane quickly hid his face in his hands and rubbed them away.

  “I’m not used to it. That’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth, the first of many I came to tell you if you’re willing to hear them.”

  She didn’t know which question to start with. Not used to what? What other truths did you come to say? Does this mean you do care about me after all? She sunk to the floor beside him, deciding to let him start wherever he needed to. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”

  His hand twitched toward hers, but then he pulled it away and set it on his injured knee. He looked straight ahead at the stairwell as he spoke. “People don’t like me, and they haven’t for a long time. I don’t know why you’re different, but for whatever reason, you put up with my temper. You help make me feel happy, and not just because you’re great with the dogs. You stand up to me. You challenge me. You make me laugh, and you make me the best dinners I’ve had in ages. Which I also miss, by the way.”

  He laughed softly, but it got stuck in his throat on the way out. He looked to her as if he wanted her to say something more, but she needed to hear more if she were really, truly going to forgive him for everything that happened two nights before, everything that had happened since they first met that January day outside his kennels.

  “I…” He started again but faltered, swallowing back an apparent lump in his throat. “I want to be honest with you, because you’re right. We are friends, and I do care about you. I didn’t want to, but it’s too late to change that now.”

  “Go on,” Lauren urged in a whisper.

  “I hid my past from myself, too, Lauren. Yes, I have—had—the shed filled with her things, but I almost never go out there. That night, after the tavern with my old buddies, I was missing her so much, so I did. I had to see the shed to feel better. They asked me questions, talked about what had happened, because they all knew. The mushing community isn’t as big as you might think. Everyone knows everything about everybody. I think that’s part of why I began enjoying having you around so much. It was like a fresh start. You didn’t know, and I felt like if you found out, you’d hate me just as much as I hate myself.”

  He stopped again, cleared his throat, looked to her as if begging to not have to say more. But she needed to hear this, and she could tell he needed to say it, too.

  Lauren placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would give him the courage he needed to go forward.

  Another deep breath. “Three years ago, I had a wife and a daughter, but I never made them a priority and I didn’t deserve them. I was always thinking about the dogs, working them, running any race that would take me. I was one of the best, but I had to be the best. And that takes a huge time commitment. I gave the sport my everything, which meant there was nothing left for my family.”

  He choked on a sob again, but this time, he let the tears cascade down his cheeks. “I wasn’t surprised when my wife left me, but I hadn’t expected for her to be so angry, to seek revenge like she did.”

  Shane turned to look at her. His normally stormy eyes shone clear and bright. “She took my daughter, too. She did everything she had to… to make sure I lost custody, to make sure I was out of both of their lives for good. And I haven’t seen my little girl since. I’ve been living three years now without my heart, but the place where it’s supposed to be still aches so much.”

  Lauren laid her head on his shoulder. It was a tender gesture, an intimate one, but it also felt right. “Thank you for telling me,” she said. “All I ever wanted was for you to be honest with me, to let me in.”

  He rested his head against hers, and they sat in silence until their individual rhythms synchronized. His heart, her breath, moved as one harmony.

  “Will you come home?” he asked at last.

  “I will,” she said. More and more, home had begun to feel like a person instead of a place. Would he one day feel the same about her, too?

  Tonight was a start.

  Her name was Rosie, and she had just turned four years old when Shane saw her last. Shane filled Lauren in on the details as he drove her back home to the cabin that night.

  “I don’t know where she is or even what her last name is anymore,” he explained, the words seeming to come easier as each new truth was revealed. “For all I know, Isabel could have changed it on me.”

  “But now that I know, I can help,” Lauren pointed out. “I can help you find her again.”

  “What makes you think she’d even want to see me, or remember me, for that matter? She was so little, and I failed her. No, I deserve what I got.” He used the buttons on his steering wheel to flick on the radio, but Lauren reached forward and shut it off.

  “No, you really don’t deserve any of this. You’re a good man, Shane. And, trust me, your daughter will want to see you. My dad kept a huge part of his life from me, but I would give anything to have him back even if only for a day. Girls need their fathers. Rosie needs you, just as much as you need her.”

  “But how can I get her back, Lauren? It’s impossible.”

  “I don’t know yet, but we’ll figure it out.” She reached over to clasp his shaking hand in hers. “Together.”

  They drove in companionable silence for a while as Lauren worked the various tidbits she’d discovered about Shane into this narrative. The old court summons must have somehow pertained to the divorce or the custody hearing. His temper and intense commitment to the dogs were also likely tied to what had happened with his ex-wife. Shane mentioned having been in the shed the night of the fire, so it was quite likely he’d left a space heater on or a candle unsnuffed—either of which could have easily caused a spark.

  There were still a couple things she couldn’t reconcile, but maybe now he’d be willing to tell her.

  “Shane?” she ventured.

  “Hmm?” Just like that, some of the tension returned. It would take time until he was fully comfortable, if he ever got there with her. She hoped that one day he would.

  Since she’d already disrupted his calm, she went ahead with the first of her questions. “Why did you name your dog after your daughter?”

  “Briar Rose?” He laughed. This seemed to be an easy question at least. “I didn’t name her. Rosie did.”

  Lauren chuckled, too. “After herself?”

  “Well, she was two at the time, and wanted a dog of her own. When we asked what she wanted to name her new pet, she had exactly three suggestions: Doggie, Poopie, or Rosie. So we compromised and named her Briar Rose and eventually switched to just calling her Briar.” His eyes seemed to glaze over from the memory, as if he was watching it play out before him as they drove.

  Lauren laughed again. “Sounds like my kind of kid. But then why didn’t Briar go with Rosie when she moved out?”

  “That dog loved my little girl, and my little girl loved her. I know they would have liked to be together, but Isabel didn’t want any part of my world left in hers.” He leaned back into the bucket seat as if all his energy had suddenly been sucked clean away. “I always hoped she’d change her mind and come back for Briar,” His voice grew shaky again. “But after months passed, I realized it wasn’t going to happen. I couldn’t stand having the dog around the house whimpering waiting for her little human to come home. It reminded me how much I missed my girl, too, so eventually I decided to put Briar Rose outside with the others, and that’s where she’s been ever since.”

  So that’s why Briar Rose
was so different!

  She wasn’t even a sled dog. It also explained why Lauren had instantly bonded with the former pet. They were both looking for someone to love after losing the person they each loved most in the world. “Can I ask one more question?”

  “Shoot,” he said. She hated to keep asking him to relive these painful moments, but at the same time, she knew it would be easier for the both of them to get it all out at once.

  “Why do you have all those nice suits in your closet but then never wear them?” She glanced toward him just in time to see him smile. Another easy question. That was good.

  “I knew you were snooping through my closet that day.” He smirked but didn’t seem angry. “Sometimes I wear them for endorsement deals. You have to understand that up here, mushers are a bit like celebrities. I do make prize money whenever I win or place high enough in the bigger races, but most of my earnings come from these types of deals. I haven’t had any since my injury, though.”

  “What else?” Lauren asked.

  “What do you mean what else?”

  “You said sometimes you wear them for that reason, implying that there are other times and other reasons.”

  “Okay, Nancy Drew.” He laughed, and she joined him. “Of course, I can’t get anything past you.”

  “Well?” she asked when he didn’t continue on his own.

  “I have some family money.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t any big deal. “Honestly, I think it’s part of why Isabel fell for me in the first place. She liked my money more than she ever liked me, and she never agreed with my decision to walk away from the business and take up mushing instead.”

  “What kind of business?” Lauren pried, unable to picture Shane doing anything other than running those dogs.

  His lip curled into a sneer as he spat, “Big oil.”

  She must have worn a look of disgust across her face, too, because Shane said, “Yeah, exactly. It never felt right, and I figured just because I was born into it didn’t mean I had to live out my entire life there.”

  “So you quit?” she supplied.

  “I quit, and let my brothers and sister fight it out without me.”

  “And Isabel didn’t approve of that situation?”

  “Heck no. She thought she was marrying one of Alaska’s wealthiest heirs, and thought me walking away meant I didn’t love her or our daughter, that I didn’t care about providing a future.”

  “But that’s crazy!” Lauren argued on his behalf.

  “I can understand where she was coming from, though.” He shrugged again. “She married with the assumption that our life would go one way, and suddenly I zigzagged another. The thing is, I still make pretty good money and a comfortable living. Only now I can live with myself over it.”

  “Can you, though? You’re always so mopey and angry.”

  “Yeah, but not about that.”

  She glanced toward him again and watched as his features crumpled into a mask of sadness. This poor man had lost so much, and he thought he deserved it, too. How long would he have to atone for his sins before he could find peace again? Lauren would make sure it was the shortest period of time possible. She would help deliver him from his guilt, his grief, his loss, because he didn’t feel he was worthy of fighting for himself.

  “We’re going to find her, Shane,” she promised. “You have my word.”

  Stepping back into the cabin at 1847 Thornfield Way truly felt like coming home.

  “I made some changes while you were gone,” Shane said as he hobbled in after her. “Not as many as I’d like, though. Knees kept slowing me down.”

  Lauren glanced around the living room, which still looked much the same to her. “Is there something I can help with?”

  “Yes. Tomorrow, though. I barely slept the last two nights, and considering how exhausted I am, we’re lucky I managed to get us back in one piece.”

  She stepped deeper into the room and noticed the carpet had been vacuumed, maybe even washed. Turning back toward Shane with a goofy smile on her face, she said, “Didn’t sleep, huh? Does that mean you missed me?”

  He crossed his arms over the crutches. “Haven’t I opened up enough for one night?”

  She raised an eyebrow at him, and he laughed.

  “You know I did. That’s why I came to get you back,” he said through a smile.

  She gave him a quick hug. “It’s just nice to hear, is all.”

  Shane let out a monster-sized yawn, trying and failing to speak through it. “I… very… know.”

  “Fine, fine. Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  As much as Lauren looked forward to seeing the dogs again, she, too, craved a good night’s rest after two nights tossing and turning on Scarlett’s sofa. Back at home now, she slept like a rock or a log or something else that doesn’t move very much, snoozing straight through to morning when the smell of freshly fried bacon wafted into her room.

  “Rise and shine!” Shane crowed from the doorway, where he stood with a precariously balanced tray of eggs, bacon, and orange juice, waiting for her permission to enter.

  “What’s all this?” she asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes while hoping he couldn’t smell her morning breath from where he stood.

  “Me making an effort to be a better friend, especially since I have a pretty big favor to ask you.”

  “That favor must be huge,” she mused. “Are you going to have some breakfast, too?”

  “Believe me, I already did. There was at least four times this amount of bacon when I got started.”

  “Well, have a seat.” Lauren pulled her legs into a crossed position and invited him to sit at the foot of the bed, then took a huge gulp of orange juice to hopefully sweeten her breath. “What can I do you for?”

  Shane took a dramatic sigh. So she was getting breakfast and a show. Not a bad way to start the morning.

  “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this,” he whispered as if confiding a secret. “But the house is kind of messy.”

  “No! Really?” She rolled her eyes before taking a huge bite of scrambled eggs.

  “Always so funny, even first thing in the morning,” he said with a sarcastic chuckle. “The fire in the shed was kind of a wakeup call. By the way, the fire marshal told me it was an electrical fire. Turns out I left the space heater on and it caught the curtains.”

  “I figured that out, but good to hear you admit it.”

  “Nothing gets by you, does it?”

  “Nope,” she said before biting clean into a crispy strip of bacon.

  “You know how sorry I am about that, but it’s actually good it happened.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, the wakeup call,” he reminded her. “But not a nice one like a good-looking friend serving you breakfast in bed.”

  She rolled her eyes again. “What kind of wakeup call, then?”

  “The kind where I realized all this stuff isn’t just a fire hazard, but an emotional one, too. If I can’t clear out the clutter of the past, I’ll never be able to move forward into the future.”

  This was the first time she’d heard him talk of a future outside of the context of mushing. Did this new future include her?

  “You sound a bit like a fortune cookie, but I think I understand. You want me to help you clear out this mess, right?”

  “If you wouldn’t mind?” His voice cracked, which she found hysterical coming from her burly and bearded friend.

  “Of course I’ll help. On one condition.” She stopped laughing and took another thoughtful bite from her eggs. “Actually, make that two.” She sucked down the rest of her orange juice, knowing the waiting was driving him crazy—and liking that fact very much.

  “Well? You going to make me wait until we both grow old?”

  Now he made jokes about them growing old together? Interesting.

  Lauren wagged her fork at him as she detailed her side of the deal. “The first condition is that you bring Briar Rose back inside. She’s a pet,
and she belongs in the house.”

  He nodded, briefly glancing toward the window as if he could see the kennels from here. “And the other?”

  “Promise you’ll help me find her.”

  “Briar Rose?”

  Lauren sighed. “You know who I mean, Mr. Wise Guy.”

  “What if we can’t?”

  “We can.”

  “What if we—?”

  “We will.”

  Shane stole her last piece of bacon, but she decided to let that slide. “How can you feel so confident?” he said.

  “Because now you’re not alone in this anymore. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I tend to dig my heels in when there’s something I want.”

  Shane raised a hand to his chest in mock surprise. “No!” he cried.

  “Yes, Mr. Wise Guy, and I want this as much as I want to learn the truth about my father. Maybe even more, because there’s still time to make things right for the two of you.”

  She linked her fingers through his for a quick squeeze, but when she tried to pull away, he held tight.

  “So,” Shane said after a few charged moments, finally letting her hand go. “Is Mr. Wise Guy my new nickname, then?”

  Lauren laughed. “That okay with you, Mr. Wise Guy?”

  “I’ve got to admit, I’ll miss you calling me Mr. Grump, but I’ll take it. I’m just glad you’re home.”

  After breakfast, Shane helped Lauren work the dogs. He fed them and cleaned their kennels while she focused on exercising them. Shane’s injury made him slow, but the little tips he offered Lauren as they worked helped her use the time more efficiently than ever. Finally, she was properly trained for the job she’d held just shy of six weeks.

  After this shared morning routine, they turned to their new chore of tidying up the house and finishing demolition of the shed. As much as she could, Lauren searched for clues amidst the debris and clutter. Whenever she found something that might help her locate Shane’s missing daughter, she committed the details to memory, including where they’d filed it or which rummage bag they’d relinquished it to.