Love's Last Chance

by Jean C. Joachim

  Dorrie lay back on the couch, her foot elevated on the coffee table, and sipped a cool drink. Discussions about the volleyball game and disagreements about the menu for dinner broke through the hum of laughter and whispers, fighting with the music for Dorrie’s attention. Overwhelming noise, as usual. She smiled. Some things don’t change.

  She moved to stand up, John reached out his hand. One grimace of pain until she got her bearings, and she was able to walk with a limp to her room. “I’m going to read for a while.”

  “See ya later.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

  Dorrie lay down on her bed and closed the door, but she was unable to concentrate on her book and didn’t feel sleepy. Muted noise drifted in. Thoughts of Johnny raced through her brain. Unable to form any definite conclusions about him, she sighed. Tonight at the party. I’ll know then.

  The house would be filled with lots of women and men from neighboring houses making the rounds of the parties with the single crowd in Fair Harbor. She’d be watching Johnny like a hawk to see if the rooster in him still strutted through the henhouse. Dorrie finally drifted off to sleep.

  Awakened by tantalizing smells of food cooking, she pushed up slowly, testing her weight on her injured ankle. One slight wince at a quick, sharp pain then the joint seemed to hold. She shifted her weight to the other side and returned to the living room. Chrissy and Bella were making a big chicken stew to be served with rice. Simmering mushrooms, tomatoes, and carrots created a heavenly aroma.

  Dorrie showered then made two batches of brownies. After putting them up to cool, there was a knock on the door.

  “Everybody decent?” a familiar voice called out.

  “Come in.”

  “Damn, too bad.” Johnny entered shaking his head.

  Dorrie laughed. “Such a skin hound, Flanagan.”

  “Mind if I use your outdoor shower? Our indoor and outdoor are busy.”

  “Go ahead. The girls just finished.”

  “Thanks.” He tucked his small bag under his arm and went around to the back of the house.

  God, Johnny naked in the outdoor shower. Dorrie began to sweat. Her heart rate increased. Imagine being in there with him. A vision of water running through the hair and over the muscles of his chest and abs flashed in her head. She closed her eyes and clung to the counter top as her knees became weak.

  Curiosity got the best of her, luring her outside. She crept around the side of the house, walking soundlessly in the sandy soil. She heard the water running, and Johnny’s deep voice singing a tune she didn’t recognize. Then the water went off. She was about to sneak away, but a sudden, sharp pain in her ankle caused her to gasp.

  She stopped and held her breath. He didn’t hear me, did he? Couldn’t have. The door swung open and a strong arm reached out, circling her waist. He pulled her into the generous stall and shut the door. Losing her balance, Dorrie fell sideways, down onto the wooden bench. Johnny stood, chuckling, a towel fastened around his waist.

  “Did you come back here to see me?”

  She gulped and leaned down to rub her ankle.

  “Let me do that.” He knelt down on the sandy grass and took her sandaled foot in his hands. His fingers worked her muscles and tendons gently as his gaze traveled up slowly, stopping at her eyes. She stared at his chest, still wet and covered in a smattering of dark hair.

  “You look really good in a towel.”

  “I’ve been told I look even better without it,” he whispered, then burst out laughing.

  Dorrie covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her guffaws.

  “Johnny? You in there? You alone?” Mary called out.

  Dorrie held her finger to her lips, trying not to giggle.

  “Mary Manning, is that you? Are you volunteering to come in here when you know I’m stark naked?”

  “Didn’t say I wanted to come in…just wanted to know…” she stammered.

  “Why, Mary! I do believe you’re making a pass at me!” he called out.

  “No, no…I’m not, I’m just wondering…I mean, I can’t find Dorrie…and…”

  “Mary, shame on you! Let a man at least get dressed before you pounce.” Johnny clapped both hands over his mouth as he and Dorrie worked to swallow their hysteria. But they were unsuccessful.

  “Yeah, Mary. I’m in here. Eat your heart out,” Dorrie yelled before giving in to a fit of giggling.

  “Dorrie! You little slut!” But that’s all they heard from Mary.

  “It’s going to be all over in about thirty minutes that you were having sex with me in here.”

  “Is it?” Dorrie widened her eyes, feeling bold, throwing him a suggestive look. So let’s make it come true. What am I thinking?

  “Your reputation will be in shreds.” He grinned.

  “Will it? Dear me,” she clucked in mock concern.

  “What’s worse…you’re taking mine down with you!” His eyes danced with mischief and Dorrie doubled over with laughter.

  When she could breathe, she squeaked out, “What reputation? You don’t have one.”

  “Yes, I do…all bad!” It was a few minutes before they could start breathing normally again.

  “Shoo, out you go. Let a man get dressed.” Johnny opened the door to the shower and eased Dorrie out.

  She stuck out her lower lip in a pout. “You mean I can’t watch?”

  He leaned over and kissed her. “Nope. Scoot. If you don’t leave, I won’t be responsible for my actions,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

  Dorrie stopped in the doorway and closed her fingers around his neck and pulled his face to hers, fastening her mouth over his. Johnny clasped her to him, one arm circling her waist while the other hand closed the shower room door.

  Desire stirred Dorrie’s blood as she opened her lips to him. Johnny plunged his tongue into her mouth, capturing her, tasting her, demanding surrender. And she complied, melting against him, the back of the door pressed into her, her hands flattened against his chest, fingers digging slightly into his hard muscle.

  As forcefully as it began, it ended. Gasping for air, Dorrie pulled back, her chest heaving. Johnny’s eyes were filled with lust. He secured his drooping towel.

  “I told you I couldn’t be responsible. Now go.” He opened the door again, and this time, Dorrie made it through. Johnny added a playful slap on her behind.

  Testing her ankle, Dorrie found it to be less painful. She walked carefully back into the house and plopped down on the sofa.

  “What’s Mary’s problem? She snapped my head off,” Bella said, sitting next to Dorrie.

  “An attack of the green-eyed monster, I think,” Dorrie replied.

  Within an hour, the house was filled to the brim with old friends. Johnny handed out beer while Chrissy and Bella served the chicken stew. Brownies were piled high on a platter. Stan cranked up music and eating turned into dancing as the pots were emptied and dirty plates piled in the sink. Pierre got stuck with dishwashing while the revelers gyrated to old favorites.

  Strangers wandered in from other houses in Fair Harbor. Dorrie noticed some good looking men and some knock-out women. Some of the women were practically topless, shaking everything they had as an advertisement to any eligible man. Dorrie kept a close watch on Johnny.

  His gaze wandered from busty woman to busty woman as he provided beer for the house members and sold beer to strangers. Who could blame him? They’re practically naked. All the men were staring at the women. Dorrie wore a more modest halter-top in a green and blue print and white shorts. She checked her watch. Nine. Will he remember our date or go wandering off with one of these newbies? Who knows? The party mood left her, and she stole outside to sit on the stoop.

  She washed a couple of ibuprofen down with beer and leaned back against the house, reducing some pressure on her ankle. The swelling had gone down some, and it was not feeling nearly as sore. I won’t be dancing a tango, but at least I can walk.

  Mary burst through the door, opening it so hard it b
anged against the wall.

  “Damn bitches! Someone should call the cops. They’re dancing nude in our house!”

  “Calm down, Mary.”

  “Calm down! They’re like the Pied Piper. When they leave, they’ll take all the good men with them…including your Johnny.” Mary cast a wicked glance at Dorrie.

  “We’ll see. They can only handle one at a time.”

  “Haven’t you heard of ménage?” Mary shot back.

  “Please, Mary. Don’t get carried away.”

  Mary lit a cigarette and slid down next to Dorrie. “Hey! No smoking near me,” Dorrie said, fanning the air.

  Mary pushed to her feet and moved ten feet away. “Better?”

  “Not smoking would be better,” Dorrie mumbled, glancing at her watch. Nine-thirty.

  The smoke drove Dorrie back in the house. Johnny was dancing fast with one of the almost-naked women. He waved at Dorrie. Screw your eyes back into your head, Flanagan. Haven’t you seen breasts before?

  She saw him focus his gaze on her again with a questioning look. Yeah, you’re just dancing, right? She shrugged and opened the closet door. After rummaging around, she found two clean beach towels and tucked them under her arm. Ignoring Johnny, she left the house and took her time heading toward the beach. Her ankle was sensitive, so she proceeded slowly. Looking up at the twinkling of the bright stars in the black sky made her smile.

  As she approached the stairs, she was calmed by the smell of salt in the air plus the sound of the waves rushing in to shore. I love it here. If there weren’t so much drama, I’d stay longer.

  Climbing the steep steps was daunting. Dorrie started slowly and took them one at a time. Careful of her footing, she made her way to the spot she and Johnny had agreed on. Tossing out a towel, she lowered herself down, pulled on the sweater she’d brought, and leaned against bent knees, listening to the night sounds.

  It was past ten now. She couldn’t help but glance toward the steps, but no tall, shadowy figure appeared. Her heart was heavy. She sighed and lay back, looking up at the sky. After making a wish on the first star she saw, Dorrie wondered if beings on other planets had as much pain trying to find their mate.

  “Did you make a wish?” The deep voice startled her. Dorrie sat up.

  “Johnny?”

  “Were you expecting someone else?”

  “Frankly, I wasn’t expecting you.” She lay back down. He’s here, like he said he’d be. Not with one of those naked women.

  “I thought we had a date. Was I mistaken?” He approached her.

  Dorrie tried to read her watch in the moonlight. “Yeah, we did, about half an hour ago.”

  “I’m late. Yeah, about fifteen minutes late. I apologize…Queen Dorrie wants me to be on the minute, and I’m not. I bow to your superiority.” He spread out a towel next to hers and sat down.

  “You don’t have to get snide.”

  “Snide? I’m snide? Look in the mirror, girl, if you’re looking for snide. You wrote the book!”

  “I’m just saying…”

  “Look, I can go. If you don’t want me here, there are plenty of other ladies down there who’d love to be with me.”

  “Fine! Go, then!” Dorrie sat up and turned her back to him.

  Johnny ran his hand through his hair. They sat in silence for a while. He cleared his throat.

  “You still here?” Dorrie knew he was, but couldn’t stop herself from baiting him. What am I saying?

  “Why are you doing this? I couldn’t wait to be alone with you.” He touched her shoulder, sending a shiver up her spine.

  “Yeah?” Hope ignited a spark in her heart.

  “Yeah. So, I was a few minutes late. Maybe I couldn’t pull myself away fast enough without being rude. If that’s a deal breaker then we have nothing to talk about…and you’ve changed more than I thought.” He rose to his knees.

  She turned to him and put her hand on his arm. “Don’t go. I’m sorry. I was being stupid, petty.”

  “Sure were.” He sat back down.

  “Frankly, I’m surprised you showed at all.” What are you doing? Stop! You’ll drive him away.

  “Wow! Where the hell did that come from? Get the number of that truck.”

  “With all those…undressed women…” Make him admit he wasn’t interested in them? What if he was?

  “Hey, I believe in advertising, but that’s ridiculous.” There was silence again. “What did I do?” He raised his shoulders.

  “Nothing.”

  “So you thought I’d break my date with you to get laid by one of those chicks? That’s a low blow…one—that you thought I’d break the date, stand you up…and two—that you thought I like cheap women. Geez. I don’t know, Dorrie. Maybe this is a mistake.” He stood up.

  “Wait! Wait. I don’t think those things of you…but when you were late …and those women were all over you. What was I to think?” She reached for his hand.

  “How about having a little faith in me…in us?”

  “There is no ‘us’.”

  “There is.” Johnny sank back down on the blanket. “Come over here.”

  Dorrie peeked at him shyly.

  “You, come over here!” Johnny motioned, and she slowly crawled closer. When he could reach, he grabbed under her arms and pulled her onto his lap.

  “Much better,” he said. She folded her legs up underneath and rested against his chest. Johnny stroked her hair and planted a kiss on her head.

  “What should we talk about?”

  “The elephant in the room,” he said, softly.

  “What’s that?”

  “You think I dumped you, and I think you dumped me.”

  “Oh.” Dorrie didn’t want to talk. She wanted to stay in Johnny’s arms forever, not talking, not explaining, not examining anything, simply feeling. She began to make a small, steady noise, almost like a purr deep in her throat.

  “Can’t we just stay like this a while?”

  “Sure we can, babe. Whatever you want.” Johnny eased down until he was lying flat on the dunes with Dorrie still on his chest. He moved his hand to her back.

  Chapter Seven

  Time stood still for Dorrie. Cuddled into the warmth of Johnny’s body, she slipped her hand under his T-shirt to run her fingers through his chest hair. He stroked her back and played with the ends of her hair while peeling her sweater off. Contentment washed over her, and her fears melted away. She sighed, smiling in the dark.

  “Dorrie. Can we talk now?”

  “Okay. Shoot.” She rubbed her face against his chest.

  “Why did you dump me? Truth now. Whatever it is, I can take it. I gotta know.”

  Dorrie pushed off him and sat up cross-legged, facing him. He wants the truth. Can you give it to him? Can you find a way to say it that won’t reveal everything? Probably not. You owe him. Tell him.

  “Okay. Truth. Total truth. Where to begin…”

  “Stop stalling.” He closed his fingers around her hand. Moonlight caressed the masculine lines of his face, making Dorrie want to kiss him and more. She wanted to make love with him, to recapture that wonderful night they had shared. Gathering her strength, she faced his scrutiny.

  “It happened the weekend after we…after we made love.”

  “What?”

  “Shh, I’m getting to it. That was the most wonderful night of my life…and I expected more of the same the next weekend. My mistake.” She sensed him pulling away the slightest little bit. “Remember you wanted, no demanded, total truth.”

  “Okay.” He inched closer.

  “The next weekend, you spent Friday night with Hazel and Saturday night with Marsha. I got the message. You didn’t want me. It was like our night never happened.” She stopped to take a deep breath to calm her racing heart. Calm down. That was five years ago.

  He sat quietly, so unlike the Johnny she knew, and listened.

  “Then?” he asked.

  “Then, the next weekend you came to me…came to me and
said those words, those lovely words. Words I had so wanted to hear the weekend before.”

  “I remember. I said…‘you’ve got a nice way about you’.”

  Tears sprang to Dorrie’s eyes. Those words had meant so much to her and hurt her at the same time. Yes, special but not special enough. Only one of many for you, Johnny.

  After taking a shuddering breath, she nodded and went on. “That’s right. I never forgot.”

  “I meant them, too.”

  “Did you? After choosing first Hazel then Marsha ahead of me the next weekend…like we hadn’t…didn’t…I mean, I didn’t sleep with a lot of guys. I wasn’t a hook-up artist. Sleeping with you meant something to me, but not to you.”

  “It did. It did. I was an asshole back then. Sleeping with anything that walked. I’d never been with anyone like you…who cared about me. Who wanted me to care back. Scared the shit out of me.”

  “Yeah, you were an idiot.”

  “And so if those words meant so much to you, and that night meant so much to you, why did you turn me down?”

  “Do you remember what I said?”

  “I’ll never forget it. ‘If I’m not the Saturday night date, I don’t play’.” Johnny recited it as if he had said it a thousand times before.

  “I had to be number one, one and only. I couldn’t be one of many or even one of a few. You were my one and only, and I wasn’t…couldn’t…be…” Tears burst through her defenses and streamed down her face. Emotion choked her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, running his finger down her cheek to catch the teardrops. “Sorry I hurt you.”

  “I couldn’t compete with those girls. The ones with the big chests and the easy ideas about sex. It wasn’t me. Flat as a pancake, my skinny little dancer’s body couldn’t keep you interested. I decided you’d rather have a buxom woman with some meat on her bones. And that wasn’t me.”

  “Oh my God! Is that what you thought?”

  She nodded, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand.

  “That’s not true. You were the best I ever had. Skinny or not, you knew how to make love… like nobody’s business. It wasn’t just screwing. You were so sweet, soft, giving, and the way you looked at me…geez. I’ve never had that from anyone…before or since.”