Beautifully Awake

by Riley Mackenzie

  “Oh, he thinks we need to talk. Make sure I didn’t get the wrong idea, even though he had all week, but avoided me like the plague instead.” Sierra’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, and let’s not forget the best part. He was worried I might be getting plastered and offered to make sure I got home safely.”

  “He wanted to come get you?”

  “No. Send a car.”

  “So I guess we’re going with he’s a big dick, huh?”

  “Yeah … guess so,” I mumbled, taking a large sip of my margarita.

  “Well, that was definitely not convincing ... you want to see him, don’t you!”

  “Give me a good reason I should want to see him. He kisses me and then pretends it didn’t happen. No, I’m pissed. Pissed at him for being such a jackass, but even more pissed at myself for letting it get to this point. What was I thinking?” Saying the words out loud just refueled my anger. I sipped from my glass, but instead of being soothing, it constricted my chest and added to the burn.

  An hour later, Rosa’s filled up with its usual Friday night crowd. The rest of our girls crew filed in and helped polish off a table full of delicious Mexican appetizers. I lost count somewhere after the sixth pitcher of margaritas. Not that I participated in drinking any of them. It seemed Dr. Jack Ass not only set my thong on fire but also gave me raging reflux to boot. So, I joined Sierra with a matching wine glass instead.

  Most of the girls from work were single and mingling at the bar when Guy strolled in.

  “Hey doll. What are we drinking?” He grinned and bent down to plant a friendly kiss on the top of my head.

  “Margaritas seem to be the crowd favorite. Guy, you remember my friend, Sierra?”

  “Of course, great seeing you again. I must say, pregnancy agrees with you, you look awesome.”

  A subtle blush crossed Sierra’s cheeks at his suave words. Sierra didn’t blush. Ever. The power of Guy’s charm was endless.

  “How was your work dinner?” Relief rushed over me that he showed up alone.

  “Boring as shit. Weird too. Usually it’s just a pharmaceutical rep or two giving their spiel trying to sell their product, but the damn CEO of the company was there, totally kissing Colton’s ass. It’s a fucking clamp. Looks just like one of the fifty we already use, but I thought the guy was going to suck Colton off when he said he would give it a try ... crazy ... but who am I to pass up a free steak at Capitol Grill?” Residents lived for free meals.

  Sierra watched me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat again at Guy’s mention of Chase. It didn’t help he used the words suck off and Colton in the same sentence. Then Sierra did what she does.

  “So Guy, Lil tells me you’re from California. Miss it?” Sierra poured a margarita into a clean glass and handed it to Guy.

  “Only in the winter. Philly is a fun town, but dude, I don’t know how you people get used to the cold.” He shook his head and drained his glass

  “Oh. That’s easy. Not all of us are blessed with a body like that.” She waved her hand up and down the length of Guy. “God’s doing the rest of us a favor by limiting bathing suit season.”

  Guy coughed on his margarita and the three of us laughed.

  “Touché ... and thanks for the compliment—I think.” He looked right at me. “But from where I’m looking, I think he’s doing a serious disservice to the male population keeping the two of you lovely ladies covered up five months of the year.” He flashed those adorable dimples.

  “You’re a keeper! I like you. You’re welcome at ladies’ night any time, dude,” Sierra added.

  I was glad she was getting a taste of the fun, flirty banter I had told her about. Suddenly, Sierra’s eyes shifted above my head. Her mouth dropped open like she was going to catch a fly at any moment.

  “Lili, can I have a word with you?” The deep gravelly voice was unmistakable. Goosebumps rose over the flesh of my arms, and a shiver ran down my spine. His voice alone had my body completely under command. A command that was not familiar. I slowly turned my head to look over my shoulder.

  “So you must be Dr. Colton?” Sierra wasted no time.

  “Yes. And you must be the best friend I’ve heard so much about.” He answered Sierra, but his stormy gaze never wavered from his target. Me.

  My stomach fell into my lap and heat began to pool from my core. Suddenly, the two emotions that had been completely consuming me since I met this man were waiting for a puck to drop to face off, anger vs. desire. Emotions I steered clear of for the past three years.

  My mind silently supported the well-deserved anger, while my traitorous body succumbed to desire. What did this man want from me? And why the hell was he standing in this bar?

  Maybe his medical groupies fell over themselves to kiss his brilliant ass, but that was not me. Would never be me. It did not matter how riddled with unfulfilled desire I was, I would never willingly hand anyone that power.

  Unlike our previous interactions, the tension was glaringly obvious; a dense fog smothered our table. It was choking. Guy’s eyes pinballed between his boss and me, while Sierra sat cross armed, studying Chase. This was the moment that life decided to push pause.

  I had no control of my physical reaction to this man, but I had the power to push play.

  “Um. Chase. This is Sierra Baldwin. Sierra, meet Dr. Chase Colton.”

  Chase barely broke his gaze. He silently shook Sierra’s outstretched hand. Sierra played it well. Her body language read calm and cool, but my best friend’s eyes screamed what-the-fuck. I explained the “intensity” factor to her pretty well, but I had a gut feeling we would revisit that topic again in the very near future.

  “Lili. A moment.” He motioned with one hand toward the door, his unapologetic eyes bolted on me.

  “Ohhkaay.”

  “Excuse us.” Chase pulled my chair out, making room for my exit. Presumptuous much?

  “Hey Chase. The lady is off the clock. Can’t whatever it is wait until Monday? Why don’t you pull up a chair and have a drink?” Guy leaned back and waited for Chase’s response. He didn’t respond, at all.

  “Um … it’s okay, Guy. It’s fine. I’m sure he just needs to go over a few things. Um, we’ll be right back.”

  Guy and Sierra exchanged inquisitive glances.

  “Why are you here, Chase?” I pushed through the front door into the humid night air, looking up at the cloudless midnight blue sky. Lord help me.

  “We need to talk.”

  I spun on the heel of my ballet flats and tightened my arms around my waist trying to tame the butterflies. I was tempted to ask what the hell was wrong with the past seven days.

  “We do?” I sarcastically questioned.

  “You know we do, but I would rather not have this conversation here. Let me take you home. My car is right around the corner.”

  My eyes narrowed and I frowned.

  “Why would I leave with you, Chase?”

  “You don’t have to, but I want you to. I owe you an explanation.”

  Damn straight he did.

  “Damn straight you do.”

  He reached for my hand, but I backed away slightly, breaking the connection. The heat from his fingertips sent shivers up my arm. He sensed my trepidation, because his eyes morphed from intense to something softer, something genuine. My stomach lurched and I knew I was screwed. But it didn’t stop me from remaining pissed.

  “This is crazy!” I snapped. “You had all week to say something. You’re the one who walked away. You’re my freaking boss, for god’s sake. I don’t do this ...we can’t do this.”

  Sierra interrupted by walking out the door, providing a much-appreciated pause. I needed to regroup, unsure if I believed a word coming out of my mouth.

  Sierra’s eyes cautiously tried reading the situation. “Hey, Lil. You okay?”

  “I’m fine. Are you leaving?”

  Chase stood ruminating with his hands snaked in his pockets, eyes locked on me the entire time.

  “Dodd just calle
d and surprised me. He got an earlier flight back from his meeting. I’m gonna shoot over to the airport and pick him up. You mind?” Her expression screamed “you sure you want me to leave you here with this dick?”

  “No, I’m fine. Go pick up your husband. He’ll be psyched to see you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She gave me a peck on the cheek and uttered a curt “good night” in Chase’s direction. She walked across the street and hopped in her SUV. If I weren’t so distracted by this man in front of me, I would have sworn she waddled.

  “Now there’s no reason to stay. Can we go?” Chase shifted his weight between his long legs as if he were losing patience. His chiseled face was focused and determined. He was seriously off the charts breathtaking; however, I was no lovesick nursing student ready to bow at his command.

  “No, Chase,” I clipped. “This, whatever this is, can’t happen!” I pointed back and forth between us, silently regretting every word that escaped from my lips. My inner turmoil was causing a relentless havoc. My attraction for this man was overwhelming.

  “Calm down. Just let me take you home. Your ride just left and you’re not cabbing it home alone.” I might not live in his upscale part of town, but it was a far cry from the hood. He was unreal.

  My irritation bubbled to a head, and I snapped, “It’s fine. Guy can drive me home. I’m sure he won’t mind. He lives in my part of town.”

  “Like fuck he will.” Chase clenched his jaw so tight I thought he was going to pop a vessel in his neck. “He’s been drinking, and there is no fucking way you are getting in a car with him.” He was dead serious.

  “He had a margarita. I’m pretty sure he’s fine.” I defended Guy, even though there was nothing to defend. Guy was a giant by normal people standards. It would probably take a pitcher of Rosa’s house margaritas to impair Guy’s big toe. Besides the fact, Guy wasn’t stupid.

  “That’s one drink too many.”

  Oh-kay.

  “Chase, what do you want from me? Why are we even talking about any of this? As far as I’m concerned, we have a professional relationship. End of story. No more sushi dinners, no more call room ... anythings.” My face flushed.

  He took a step toward me and gently lifted my chin. “Blue, look at me. You know you don’t believe that. Let me take you home. Let’s talk. If after, you really don’t want this, I promise I’ll back off.” His eyes turned molten, causing an explosion of tingles between my legs. My body cross checked my brain and prevailed in the battle. I would deal with the penalty later.

  “Fine, Chase. I don’t owe you a damn thing after the way you treated me, but I’ll let you plead your case.”

  His lips curled up into a devilish smile and the tingles turned into full-blown spasms. Fuck my body.

  We spent the nine-minute drive in complete silence, my mind reeling with a million questions. Time was up. His black M6 stopped in front of my building. Part of me was tempted to bolt up the stairs, hop into bed and erase the evening. Tomorrow I needed to rethink the whole therapy thing, running just wasn’t cutting it.

  This man was infuriating; giving new meaning to hot and cold. Obviously something was royally screwed up with my twenty-seven-year-old brain. I abandoned all sense of logic after three years spent erecting an emotional wall of China. The disconnect between my body and brain was bewildering.

  “Come on, Blue.” He grabbed my hand and helped me from his car. I moved willingly. Obviously, my body just told my brain to fuck off, again.

  “What was the point of the scene at the bar?” I asked.

  Chase raked his hair with his hands and let out a sigh, but gave no explanation.

  “Are you for real?” The words spit out of my mouth, but still nothing.

  Did he want me or did he just not want anyone else to have me? I realized the only time he acknowledged my existence this week was when I was with Guy. First in the elevator, then the bar. Was this just another alpha pissing-on-his-territory display?

  Screw this, I’d had enough and briskly walked to the door of my first floor row home apartment. Angling my body toward the streetlight, I searched in my bottomless bag for the keys. My goal was to get away from this man as fast as possible. How had I not told him to fuck off already?

  “Don’t worry about it. I got it, Blue.” Blue? His hand rested on my lower back. The heat scorched through my clothes.

  “Don’t worry about what?” I spat.

  Chase effortlessly opened my door with my extra key. The one he still had since sushi night.

  “After you.” Chase gently pressed at the small of my back, urging me inside. His mouth hovered at my ear, bathing the nape of my neck with his warm minty breath. He whispered, “Remember? I told you we would do it again sometime. Sometime is now.”

  I immediately tensed. It was as if every nerve ending in my body awakened and fired all at once. Sweet Jesus. Heat ignited my core and desire pooled from my sex. The only thing I knew for sure at that moment was I wanted this.

  He shut my apartment door, leaving us in the small alcove entrance flanked with floor to ceiling windows that let in an aura of intimacy. The charm of the space I loved, I cursed. The soft illumination did little to hide my jumble of excited nerves. Without hesitation, Chase pulled me around until I was facing him. He tipped my chin up for the second time tonight, demanding our eyes meet. One lock with his silver crystal gaze, I was gone. Totally freaking gone.

  He leaned his strong back against the door and snaked both hands into his pockets. His signature stance was my undoing. He ... was ... stunning. His intensity dissipated before my eyes, replaced by something else, something primal. He bit his lower lip and roamed hungrily, landing below the hem of my short summer skirt. My bare legs felt weak. I backed up against the window, accepting its support, while my monstrosity of a bag slipped off my shoulder with a thud. Neither one of us blinked.

  “Lil. You are so fucking beautiful.” Each word was punctuated, his gaze plagued with desire. My mind was fuzzy, but my body was frenzied. His sentiment completely melted my hesitation. I couldn’t explain it, but I wasn’t afraid. I was greedy for his touch.

  He closed the gap between us. His strong arms enveloped my body, pinning me against the window. His lips lowered to mine, devouring me like a predator claiming his prey. His tongue took ownership of my mouth ... sucking, licking and exploring every inch.

  Palming my ass, he pulled me against his rigid cock that strained against his zipper. It was huge.

  “Wrap me up,” he whispered.

  I moaned at the loss of his mouth. He lifted me with ease, as if I was a feather, and I wrapped my legs around his tight waist. Suspended, his strong hands mercilessly stroked the back of my sensitive thighs. He ran his tongue up my jawline to my ear. Every part of my being quivered and I was lost in him.

  “Chase, please.” I wasn’t sure what I was asking for, but I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted more. My comfort with his dominance surprised me. My arms draped across his chiseled shoulders, and I buried my hands in his unruly hair, pulling and coaxing him on.

  He lunged one thigh forward rubbing perfectly against the spot I needed him most. My loose skirt was nonexistent, wrinkled at my waist and exposing my thin black thong. Drenched. I had never been so sexually achy and needy in my whole life. My ravenous lips smashed back into his. My tongue reveled in his warmth. I never wanted this feeling to end. The heat of his fingertips trailed the skin of my lower back, jolting me forward. He lifted the edge of my tank, sending the silk fabric floating to the floor.

  “Fuck, Lili.” His hungry eyes focused on my black lace bra. “So sweet and perfect.”

  He traced the lines of my swollen breasts before gripping and squeezing one into his mouth. My nipple instantly tightened into a hard bud as he swirled his tongue over the thin fabric.

  My back arched in response. “Mmmm.”

  “You like that?” He turned to worship the other breast.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  I ran my hands down the front of hi
s hard chest, longing to feel closer. His dark blue dress shirt separated us. It had to go. Now. I needed skin on skin contact more than I needed air.

  My fingers couldn’t coordinate fast enough. I made it two buttons down, when his mouth released my aching breast. With one hand, he tugged his shirt open and the buttons ricocheted against the windows. I pushed the ruined cloth over his muscular shoulders, unveiling all things chiseled. This man had the body of a god.

  I’d dreamt of his bronzed, built chest since he ripped his blood-soaked scrub top off, the day we first kissed. I had imagined running my hands over his tight abs and caressing his tight pecs. I waited no longer.

  Selfishly, my palms ran over every defined muscle, spending extra time tracing his mysterious tattoo along the edge of his ribs. Better than I imagined. This man is sexy.

  I abandoned my assault of his carved torso and gently palmed his face, running the pads of my thumbs across his cheekbones. Lust-filled, his eyes secured mine.

  This was dangerous; I didn’t even know this man. Yet in such a short time, I craved him like a drug. I couldn’t get enough. I desperately descended on his mouth, drinking in every air molecule that separated us.

  His hand dipped down to the edge of my thong. In one swift motion, he pushed the drenched lace aside and plunged two fingers inside. I broke our kiss, unable to stop my cry. My head fell back with the sudden intrusion, and I was rocked deep to my core. This felt so good.

  “Blue, you’re so wet for me. So tight. I want to be inside you so bad.” His fingers swirled inside my tight passage; his palm added the perfect pressure against my aching sex. He pushed and pulled. The rhythm drove me insane.

  “Look at me. I want to see you.” He slowly withdrew his fingers, leaving me empty and wanting. Speech was impossible. I whimpered at the loss. I never wanted anything so bad. “I need to see you.” I willed my head forward, completely drunk with desire. I struggled to peel my heavy lids open.

  “Chase. Please.” My desperate eyes implored him.

  “I know.” He unfastened my bra, and my heavy breasts fell into his needy hands. He rolled my hard buds between his fingers, sending a shocking current to my core, squeezing my womb. A delicious torture.