Subservience

by Chandra Ryan

  “The coordinates in this system are classified. You can’t be digging through my computer.”

  “I didn’t know how long it was going to take you to get here.”

  That was bullshit if he’d ever heard it. “I’m on the ship. It’s not as though I have to be found and shuttled in. How long could it possibly take?”

  Barkswell stood abruptly and shoved away from the console. “I was just trying to help.”

  Parker sank into the seat Barkswell had just vacated. “That’s what they keep telling me.”

  “Who keeps telling you?”

  He put his palm on the biometrics pad and waited until the nav screen came up. “Everybody. Seems as if you’re the resident fireman. Rushing around to put out any flame that pops up.”

  Barkswell snorted loudly. “I’m doing my job.”

  “And you’re ambitious. You want your own ship.”

  “No secret there.” He took a step away.

  “I’m not so sure.”

  “Do you have a problem with me?”

  He was direct. Parker appreciated that. “If you’re causing these glitches just so you can appear to be Mr. Fixit, yeah, I do.”

  He looked up just in time to see Barkswell’s face turn bright red. “I don’t like what you’re insinuating. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am. And I work hard every day to reach my goals.” He shook his head. “I have to. Some of us actually have to earn our promotions. We don’t get them by screwing the captain.” He looked pointedly at the lieutenant-commander bars on Parker’s collar as he said the words.

  Parker was out of his chair and had Barkswell pinned under him before he even realized he meant to fight the man. Barkswell was strong and clever but he hadn’t been enhanced so Parker had the upper hand. Not that he could really celebrate the advantage. He was too busy trying to win the fight. The two of them rolled around, throwing punches and scrabbling to secure a solid hold.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Parker and Barkswell both froze at Harlow’s voice.

  “Were you seriously fighting? On my bridge?” They broke apart like guilty children but neither of them answered her. “Both of you in my ready room. Now.”

  She didn’t even wait for them to get up off the floor. He heard the clicking of her heels on the metal floor as she left and had to race to catch up with her. And as soon as they crossed over the threshold to her ready room he saw her standing at her desk with her back to them. She waited for the door to close before she turned to face them. “Want to tell me what just happened out there?”

  Not really. No matter how he spun the story in his head he sounded immature.

  “I was trying to fix a problem with the nav systems when he came up and started leveling accusations.” Barkswell puffed out his chest as if he were the one in the right as he spoke.

  But she held her hand up for him to stop. “Wait. You were in the nav systems?”

  “No. I was trying to access them but I don’t have the clearance.”

  “Exactly. Those charts are confidential. You should know better than to try to access them.”

  “But we’re on a different trajectory.”

  “And Parker will fix it. Am I clear?”

  “Yes sir.” He didn’t look exactly happy about the order she’d just issued but he seemed ready to let it be over.

  “Good. You’re dismissed.”

  Parker turned to leave but she stopped him. “Not you, XO. You’ve still got some explaining to do.”

  Barkswell’s body shook as if he was suppressing the urge to say something but he managed to remain quiet as he left.

  “Okay. Now it’s your turn.”

  “I showed up and he was trying to hack the nav system.”

  “I’m not deaf, Parker. Tell me how a man who prides himself on living by the book ends up in the middle of a brawl on my bridge floor.”

  “He insinuated that I got my promotion because of our relationship.”

  “Relationship?” She looked genuinely confused. “But we don’t have a relationship.”

  His chest contracted painfully and he couldn’t seem to make himself breathe. Did she really believe that? Did she actually still think of him—of what they’d shared—as a distraction? He shook his head as the realization sank deeper. Of course she did. “Unfortunately he doesn’t know that you’re just fucking me in order to get me out of your system.” He couldn’t keep all of the bitterness out of his voice.

  “Parker, I didn’t…” She paused. “I don’t know what to say. I was honest with you. I never told you I wanted a relationship.”

  She had a point. Not that it made him feel any better. “You’re right. This is my fault. You were upfront with me. I just thought we’d moved past that.”

  “Parker…”

  “No. I get it.” Only he didn’t. Not really. “But I think it’s safe for me to say that I’ve officially gotten you out of my system.” He turned and started walking toward the door. When he reached it he turned around to look at her again. Just the sight of her made him hurt. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. Barkswell was right about the trajectory. I need to correct the ship’s course if you want to reach Salaan in three days.”

  “Wait.”

  “Is that an order?”

  “No. But I think we should talk about this.”

  “I think we both understand where we stand.” He shook his head. “I’ve got a job to do.” He didn’t look back as he walked away. He couldn’t. He had to focus. He would deal with his residual feelings for her later. Much later.

  As he made his way to the bridge he forced his breathing into a normal, calm rhythm. And after a few steps his body relaxed. He’d learned the trick years ago. Some shrink the military set him up with had taught it to him. Probably the only useful thing he’d gotten from her. There just wasn’t much a civilian intellectual understood about being a genetically modified killer.

  By the time he stepped onto the bridge and made his way to his console a nice cocoon of numbness started to wrap itself around him. It didn’t matter what Harlow thought they had. Whatever it was—whatever it could’ve been—was over now.

  He sat down and brought his focus back to the task at hand. He had to find out what had caused the nav system to go down and then why it changed course when it’d come back up.

  Searching through the log provided his first clue. He couldn’t tell what’d caused the system to shut down but he did find the cause of their change of course. When the computer had come back up it’d switched to an emergency route. Apparently it was a fail-safe. One he hadn’t known existed before today.

  It made sense. If the ship was attacked and the assailants gained control, they wouldn’t be able to discover the locations of the prison planets. It was actually rather clever. Except now everyone onboard knew about it.

  The nav system shutting down could’ve been an accident. A power surge might have confused the system into thinking the ship was under attack. But with the run in three days it seemed like a big coincidence. One large enough it merited looking into.

  He corrected the ship’s course and then sent a detailed report to Harlow. It might have been slightly cowardly not to go talk to her in person but he needed some time to adjust. Besides, sending the report would be more efficient. At least that was what he told himself. And he’d put everything in there he would’ve told her had they met in person. Including a request for a list of people in engineering she felt were trustworthy. That way as soon as she got back to him he could go get help in his investigation. It was better for everyone that he handled it this way.

  Still, when her response came back as just a list of names he was disappointed. “Guess I kind of deserved that, though.” Glancing through the list, he stopped at Commander Vance. If anything was going on, Vance would be the one to know.

  A couple keystrokes later he’d located the commander in the lounge. Parker wasn’t technically on duty. He was only at his console because of the course cha
nge. And now that it’d been corrected he was due some R and R. But before he left the bridge there was one last thing he needed to do.

  His hand hit the com badge before he could stop himself. “XO to Captain.”

  “Captain here.” Her voice seemed as tight as his.

  “Thank you for getting that response to me promptly.”

  “Anytime, Parker.”

  There. He’d talked to her. It might have been a small step. But it was in the right direction. And that was all that mattered. Feeling slightly better, he pushed back on the desk and stood. He didn’t need to practice his breathing this time as he made his way through the ship. And he didn’t have to force his body to relax as he stepped into the lounge. The numbness had settled so deeply in his soul that he couldn’t feel anything else.

  “Excuse me, sir.” He sat down on the stool next to Vance and motioned the bartender. “But can I buy you a drink?”

  Vance shot him a confused look. “I don’t know. Depends on what you’d expect in return.”

  “Just a moment of your time. I’m in need of your expert opinion.”

  “Then by all means. I take my whiskey neat.”

  The bartender set down the glass and took Parker’s credit stick with a graceful series of movements.

  Vance took a drink and then asked, “So what is it you’d like to know?”

  “Who aboard the Tempest would have the most to gain by sabotaging the ship?”

  He backed up and looked startled. “Sabotage the ship? No one. Why? Do you think someone is trying to?”

  “The glitches seem too convenient.”

  “They haven’t been overly convenient to my department. I can tell you that much.” He lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip.

  “It started with the long-range sensors. Then the fields that divide the prison cells started flickering and the riot guns malfunctioned. And just now the nav systems went down.”

  “I don’t see how those things are related.”

  “They’re all systems that would be high priority if the ship were attacked. Especially if it were attacked while we had prisoners onboard.”

  Vance nodded slowly and took a slightly larger drink. “I guess I can see that.”

  “It got me thinking. Who has the most to gain by sabotaging the Salaan run?”

  “You have someone in mind, don’t you?”

  Parker leaned forward so they wouldn’t be heard. “Barkswell.”

  Vance reeled back again. “Really? He’s the best.”

  “And who better to save us in our hour of need than the best? If he singlehandedly averted a rescue attempt, wouldn’t that get him the notice he needed to get his own ship?” It took a few minutes to lay out his argument but by the end of it Vance looked as though he was starting to come around.

  “I think I see what you’re saying.”

  “But the captain doesn’t.” Parker signaled the bartender for another drink. “So I need some help.”

  “Salaan run is in three days.” He swirled what was left in the glass as he spoke. “What do you think we can do in three days to convince her?”

  “We don’t need to convince her. We need to stop him. And given how much time he spends in engineering, I think you’re the man for it.”

  “So you want to get through the run and then dig up the dirt on him.”

  “I think that’d be the best course this late in the game.”

  Vance nodded. “I think I might be able to help you.”

  “You’re a good man.”

  Vance drank the rest of the alcohol in his glass in one gulp. “I’m nothing special. We’re all just doing our best out here.”

  “No. You’re a good guy. The captain trusts you.”

  “The captain trusts every member of her crew. Even Barkswell.”

  He had a point. But there was a difference between him and Barkswell. “To Barkswell, the Tempest is no more than a pit stop on his way to bigger and better things. Everybody onboard knows that. But you’ve been here longer than the captain. This is your home.”

  “Yep. That’s me. Good ole reliable Vance. Predictable and steadfast.” His voice was sharp enough that Parker wondered if he’d accidently hurt the man’s feelings.

  “I didn’t mean that as an insult.”

  Vance put his glass down on the bar and stood. The man had had enough to drink that he wobbled slightly once he was back on his feet. “I know what you meant. Appreciate the drink.”

  Parker was confused by Vance’s mood shift but nodded stiffly. “Have a good night.”

  “You too.”

  He waited for Vance to leave before making his way to his quarters. He didn’t really want to be alone right now but he’d avoided it for as long as possible. Fatigue was already starting to set in. If he didn’t make it to his bed soon they’d find him passed out on the stool.

  As the door to his room closed behind him, though, he seriously wondered if the barstool would’ve been the better choice. He’d spent most of his life on his own. But he’d never felt so alone. He wanted to page Harlow but knew better. They needed a clean break. It hurt now but it would get better over the coming days. If he gave in to the desire to hear her voice, it would only make the pain linger.

  But as he closed his eyes he couldn’t stop picturing her face.

  Chapter Six

  Harlow lived in a shadow world for the next three days. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and she had a hard time focusing on what was going on around her. It was made worse by how easily Parker seemed to be taking their time apart. Each day appeared to get a little better for him but worse for her. And this morning it’d gotten so bad she’d walked behind his console just to see if she could smell him.

  She groaned in misery at the memory and buried her face in her hands. How had this happened?

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. Just ready for this run to be over. I think everybody could use a little shore leave. Myself included.”

  But Parker didn’t seem convinced. He studied her for a moment before turning to one of the other crew members. “Ensign Locke, get the captain some coffee. Better make it hot and black.”

  “On it.”

  Damn the man. He was still trying to look after her. But he didn’t need to. She could take care of herself. “I’m good. Really.”

  But Parker shook his head. “No. You’re not. You need a good meal and some sleep, Captain.”

  Her jaw clenched at the title. He never called her Harlow anymore. But she could play that game just as well as he did. “I need a lot of things, XO. I need your report. I need an updated prisoner list. I need to work out.” And she needed a shower. Not that she was going to tell him that.

  “We’ve got a handle on this. Why don’t you go get some rest and I’ll give you my report this evening?”

  It was so tempting. If she could just get a little rest she’d feel so much better. “We’re going to be at Salaan in a couple of hours.”

  “I’ll make sure you’re on the bridge when we make contact.”

  “Captain.” Barkswell’s voice demanded her attention instantly.

  “Yes, Lieutenant?”

  “The ion cannons are showing a malfunction.”

  She should consider herself lucky that this was the first malfunction they’d had since the glitch with the nav systems. Still, she didn’t feel overly lucky right now. They were too close to Salaan. She didn’t have time for anything to go wrong. Hitting her communications badge, she tried to relax. “Engineering, this is the captain.”

  “Engineering here. Go ahead.”

  “Tactical is reporting an ion cannon malfunction.”

  “We’re on it.”

  “Captain out.”

  Hitting the badge to turn it off, she stood and stretched to help alleviate the aches and pains from sitting too long.

  “Are you going to rest, sir?”

  “If I can find the time.”

  “Captain.” His concern
for her radiated through his thoughts. And strangely she found that irritating. He worried about her. But not enough to actually stop by her quarters and talk to her.

  “We have a job to do. Sleep will come later.” She shook her head to end the conversation before addressing the crew. “XO has the bridge.”

  As she walked off the bridge she could feel him staring at her. She couldn’t fault him for it. She had a hard time not watching him when they were in the same room. Even after everything, she was still attracted to him.

  After everything? She stopped at the thought. Did what they have—or rather had—qualify as “everything”? She’d only known him for two weeks. But it felt as though she’d known him forever. How was that possible? She had to admit it’d been a crazy couple of weeks though. Maybe that was why it felt longer. Then again, maybe it was because of the spark of attraction between them. Either way, he’d somehow managed to become a much larger part of her life than two weeks should allow.

  As a crew member he’d done well. She’d give him that. And competence was a trait she found endearing. She moved around a group of people as she navigated the passageways. He’d taken over the role of XO with ease. And under his guidance the ship had run smoother than ever. She hadn’t had to deal with a single requisition form or crew complaint since he’d stepped into his new position.

  Still, competence and attraction couldn’t explain why he’d become so important to her. God, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent so much time fixated on a man. She actually didn’t think it’d ever happened before. Unbidden images of him shirtless in the locker room flashed through her mind, causing her to walk past the corridor she needed. Cursing to herself, she turned around and began working her way toward engineering again.

  She sighed as she reached engineering. She shouldn’t have indulged in her attraction to him in the first place. If she’d known the man was addictive she wouldn’t have. But she was a telepath, not a prophet. And now that ship had officially sailed. Opening the door to engineering, she was greeted by a sea of curious and anxious gazes.

  “Captain?”

  Lieutenant Vance’s voice was strong even as he stared at her nervously. His eyes were flashing from her to his monitor at such a rapid pace it made her dizzy.