Until December: Until Her/ Until Him

by Aurora Rose Reynolds

  “You… You can’t tell me to leave!” Beth yells as December moves around her and heads down the hall toward Max’s room with Mitchell on her heels.

  “You need to go,” I tell Beth, and as she turns on me and steps forward, placing her finger an inch from my face, I drop my eyes to it.

  “This is bullshit. You know this is total bullshit.”

  “It’s not, Beth, and if you actually paid attention during any of that conversation, you’d understand that all your kids ever wanted from you was time and attention. You can’t blame them for being pissed at you for not giving them that.”

  “It’s your fault.”

  “My fault.” I cross my arms over my chest. “How’s this my fault?”

  “You’ve turned them against me.” She tosses her hands in the air. “You’ve made them hate me.”

  “I’ve done nothing but make it easy for you to see them when you’ve felt like it, and I have never, not fucking once, made you jump through hoops to spend time with them. You can try to make this out like it’s my fault, but I’m not the bad guy, Beth. You’ve had years to build a relationship with your boys, but you didn’t, and that’s on you. Now you have to deal with the consequences.”

  “I love them.”

  “Then prove it.” I sigh.

  “I shouldn’t have to prove anything.”

  Completely over her manipulative bullshit, I walk to the door and hold it open for her, and she glares at me then the door before she stomps past me. The moment she steps outside, I call her name, and she turns to look at me over her shoulder. “You should know I will never force them to spend time with you, so if you want a relationship with them, you need to find a way to earn their trust and build one.”

  “Whatever,” she mutters before storming away.

  I don’t watch her go; I shut the door and lock it then head down the hall to Max’s room, knocking once before I turn the handle. I find him sitting on his bed with December beside him, her hand on his back. His brother sits on the floor at his feet, Sloth lying next to him. “You okay, bud?”

  “Is Mom gone?” he asks.

  “Yeah.”

  He nods and drops his eyes to his lap. I look at Mitchell, and he gives me a shrug and a sad smile.

  “You know your mom loves you,” I say.

  He lifts his head and locks eyes with me. “You always say that, and she always says she loves me, but Mitchell was right. She never shows it. And you should show it if you love someone.”

  Feeling like I’ve been kicked in the gut, I swallow then order, “Come here,” over the lump in my throat.

  “Dad—”

  “Please come here.” He gets up and walks toward me slowly, and once he’s close, I wrap my hand around the side of his neck and dip my chin so we’re face-to-face. “You’re right. You should show the people you love that you love them, but sometimes people don’t know how to do that, and your mom is one of those people.”

  “You don’t have to make excuses for her,” he says quietly, and I rest my forehead against his. “I know how she is, and I love her, even if she isn’t good at being a mom. I just wish she were different sometimes.”

  I close my eyes to hide the pain his words cause and whisper, “Max.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not okay, not even a little bit.”

  “It is, because I have you and Mitchell, December, Grandma, and Aunt Selma and Sejla, along with a whole bunch of other people who love me. I guess—” He licks his lips. “—I guess I just feel bad, because she doesn’t have that.”

  “She could,” Mitchell inserts, and Max looks at him. “She could have a whole bunch of people who love her too, Max.”

  He stares at his brother for a long time before whispering, “I guess you’re right.”

  “Max,” I call again, and his eyes come back to me. “You can’t be responsible for her happiness. It’s not your job. Your job is to be a kid.”

  “Okay.” He licks his lips.

  “I love you, son.”

  “I know.” He nods, and I touch my forehead to his one more time then squeeze his neck. “You good now?”

  “Yeah, Dad.”

  “Good.” I let him go, and he goes back to sit next to December, who wraps her arm around his shoulders and leans her head against the side of his.

  “I’m hungry,” she says after a moment, and we all focus on her. “Who wants ice cream? I’m really craving vanilla ice cream and french fries.”

  “You’re so crazy,” Mitchell mutters with a smile, and Max laughs while I chuckle.

  “Why am I crazy? Have you ever had vanilla ice cream and fries?”

  “No,” the boys reply at the same time.

  “Then you can’t say I’m crazy.” She stands and walks toward me then stops to look over her shoulder. “Well, are you two coming?”

  “Sure, why not?” Mitchell gets up off the floor and holds out his hand for Max. Figuring they need a minute, I take December’s hand and lead her from the room.

  “I need to get a clean shirt,” I tell her and she nods. “You all right?”

  “Yeah.” She gives me a sad smile.

  “He’s gonna be okay.” I kiss her forehead and she nods. “Be right back.” I leave her in the living room and go to the bedroom, seeing her school shit scattered across the bed where she was working when I went to go work out. I grab a sweatshirt off the top shelf in the closet and I tug it on, thinking I need to set her up a space in the bedroom where she can work when she’s home. I also need to get some people together to help me move her out of her place sooner rather than later.

  With that thought in my head, I leave the bedroom and usher my family out to my SUV. I drive them into town for hamburgers, fries, and frozen custard. By the time we get home, the boys and December are laughing and teasing each other, the drama from earlier a distant memory.

  _______________

  I drop the wrench in my hand and exchange it for a screwdriver, trying to work through the anger I’m feeling. This morning as soon as I got to work Beth called to tell me she was leaving town and that I needed to let the boys know. Even though I know they’ll be okay, I’m still pissed she didn’t even have the balls to tell them herself, especially after what went down yesterday. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, still it kills me that she doesn’t give a fuck. The only silver lining is they now have December who will help ease the blow.

  “Gareth.” I come out of my thoughts hearing my name shouted and roll out from under the car I’ve been working on.

  Once I’m standing, my mom’s eyes lock on me. “Mom, what are you doing here?” I ask, wiping my grease-covered hands on a rag as she hurries through the shop toward me. As she gets closer, I see the worry etched around her eyes and the tears still wet on her cheeks. “What happened?”

  “I’ve been trying to call you.” She stops close, holding up her shaking hand that is closed around her cell phone. I look to where my phone is across the building, sitting on top of my toolbox too far away to hear with the noise in the shop.

  “What’s going on? Are the boys okay?”

  “I think so.”

  “You think so?” I repeat as a heaviness starts to settle in the pit of my stomach.

  “I can’t get a hold of them. All the schools went on lockdown. There was a shooting at the elementary school.” She lifts her shaking hand to hold up her phone once more. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

  “I….” Fuck, my knees get weak. “When?”

  “I found out about thirty minutes ago. Anna, who works at the police station, called me, because I told her that you were seeing a first grade teacher when we spoke the other day. She wanted to make sure I knew so I could tell you.”

  “Fuck.” I prowl toward my toolbox, stripping out of my coveralls as I go.

  “You can’t go there. The cops have the school surrounded. They’re telling parents and family members to meet in the field at the high school,” she says from behind me as I
grab my cell phone and keys.

  “Go to the high school.”

  “Gareth, you can’t go to that school!” she yells.

  “I know.” I turn to face her when I reach my SUV. “December’s uncle and cousin are both cops. I’m going to see if I can track them down and find out what they know.” I hold her gaze. “Please, go to the high school.” I catch her nod as I swing up behind the wheel then put the key in the ignition and head toward the school. Dialing December first, I listen to it ring until the voicemail cuts on.

  “I love you, baby. Fuck….” I try to pull in a breath. “I love you. Call me and let me know you’re okay.” I hang up and dial Cobi, and when he doesn’t answer, I dial Sage.

  “Fuck!” I hit the steering wheel when my call is sent to voicemail then curse once more when I reach the intersection for the school, which is blocked off with a line of police cruisers. Even knowing they won’t let me pass, I drive forward, and an officer steps out into the road, holding his hand up for me to stop. I roll down my window when he comes to my door. “Sir, you need to turn around. This road’s closed.”

  “My girlfriend’s a teacher at the school. I can’t get a hold of her.”

  “I’m sorry, sir. They are telling all family members to wait at the high school. That’s where everyone will be bussed to once they clear the school.”

  “Can you call Nico Mayson or Cobi Mayson on your radio and tell them that Gareth Black is trying to find out about December?”

  “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.” He shakes his head, and I want to get out and force him to make the call, but I know if I do, I’ll be spending the night in jail.

  “At least tell me that no one was hurt.” I know I sound desperate. I feel desperate.

  “Officers are still clearing the building. Right now, we don’t know what’s going on.”

  “Fuck.” I shove my fingers through my hair then look down at my cell when it starts to ring. When I see December’s name on the screen, my throat gets tight. I don’t bother saying a word to the officer. I pull away from him and put my cell to my ear. “Baby.”

  “I’m okay.” Her voice sounds tight, like she’s trying to keep it together.

  I stop and put the truck in Park not wanting to wreck. “Where are you?”

  “I’m with my kids. We’re waiting for a bus to take us to the high school to meet their parents.”

  “I’ll meet you there.” I squeeze my eyes closed.

  “Okay.”

  “Keep it together, baby,” I order, and I listen to her pull in a shaky breath. “I’ll be with you soon.”

  “I have to go. The bus is pulling up now.”

  “Love you.”

  “I love you.” She hangs up, and I drop my phone to my lap and scrub my hands down my face pulling in a few deep breaths to get myself under control then put the engine in Drive.

  When I reach the high school, I don’t even bother searching for a parking spot. I park on the grass near the front of the school and then jog toward the fields, where a large crowd of people is gathered. I search through the sea of faces, looking for December, and almost fall to my knees when I find her standing with my mom, and her parents. I rush toward them, and like she senses I’m close, she turns and locks eyes with me as I eat up the distance between us.

  “We’re okay. Everyone is okay.” She falls into my arms then looks up at me. “I… I need to make sure my kids all find their parents.”

  I nod, and she takes my hand and leads me over to a group of young children who all look nervous.

  “Okay, you guys. I want you all to hold hands and follow me. We’re going to move away from the crowd so it’s easier for your moms and dads to find you.” She smiles reassuringly then leads the kids to a section of grass. She has them all sit down in a circle, and my mom and hers sits with them as her dad and I help December direct parents to their children. When the last little boy is walking away, held tight in his mom’s arms, she turns to me and I wrap my arms around her, holding her close as she sobs.

  “What happened?” I ask, still not sure of what took place. Really, I don’t know if I have the stomach to handle knowing what happened.

  “One of the teachers, Mr. Jetson….” She hiccups. “I guess he was fired last Friday at the end of day. The…. the principal saw him walk into the school today and went to talk to him and ask him why he was there. He… he pulled out a gun on her and tried to shoot her, but she managed to get out of the way. The… the janitor saved her. He heard the shot and was able to sneak up on Jetson and take him down before he was able to hurt anyone.”

  Jesus, I hold her tighter and bury my face in her hair. Having seen this same thing play out on the news way too fucking often, I know exactly how lucky each and every person in that school was today. “Until the police came to clear my room, I didn’t know what was going on. All I knew was there were shots being fired in the school and it was my job to protect those kids. I was so scared.”

  “I know, baby.” I run my hand down her back. “I know, but you’re safe. They’re all safe.”

  “Yeah,” she whispers, leaning back to wipe the tears off her cheeks. “Can… can we get the boys and go home now?”

  “Yeah, baby.” I tuck some hair behind her ear then kiss her forehead, nose, and lips before turning her and tucking her under my arm. I look at my mom and her parents. “We’re going to find the boys and get them home. If you’re up to it, you can join us for dinner.”

  My mom looks at December and her face softens. “I think you and your family need some time alone, honey. I’ll be over—”

  “You are our family,” December cuts in, reaching out her hand toward my mom, who looks at it for a moment before taking it and pulling her away from me for a hug.

  When she leans back, she takes a hold of December’s face. “Have some time with your boys, I’ll be over later. Okay?”

  “Okay.” December whispers and mom nods before letting her go so her parents, who are standing close, can hug her. When they release her, I tuck her back against my side.

  “We’ll meet you guys at the house in a bit,” Asher says placing his arm around his wife who’s crying.

  I lift my chin and let out the breath I feel like I’ve been holding forever then take my woman to go get our boys and take them home.

  _______________

  “I’m glad you’re okay.” I hear Mitchell say later that evening as I’m dumping pasta into the pot of boiling water on the stove.

  “Me too,” Max says, and even though I can’t see them from where I’m standing, I still know the three of them are sitting side by side on the couch, exactly where they all ended up as soon as we got home.

  “Do you guys know I love you?” December asks, and my jaw clenches so tight I think I might crack teeth.

  “Yeah,” Mitchell replies at the same time as Max.

  “Good, don’t ever forget it,” she murmurs, and I squeeze my eyes closed.

  Stepping away from the stove, I wrap my fingers around the edge of the counter, drop my head forward, and close my eyes. Like my boys, December has become vital to me, a living, breathing extension of my heart, a part of me that I know I wouldn’t be able to live without. Until her, I never believed in happily ever afters, but I know she was brought into my boys’ and my life to prove they really do exist.

  Epilogue

  December

  “YOU DID OKAY for yourself, baby girl.” I look up as my dad comes to stand next to me then lean into him when he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

  “I did, didn’t I?” I reply quietly, turning to watch my boys mingle with my family like they have always belonged.

  “They love you.”

  “I love them,” I say, then add, “I always knew I wanted to find a guy who loved me as much as you do. I just never thought I would.” His arm gets tighter. “I’m glad I was wrong about that.”

  “Me too.” He kisses my hair and my eyes close.

  “Thank you for being the best
Dad in the world.” I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head against his chest.

  “I think your guys are waiting for you,” Dad tells me, and I open my eyes and see Gareth, Mitchell, and Max standing together under a string of lights set up around the pergola. Wondering what they’re up to, I walk toward them, and my heart lodges in my throat when Gareth drops to one knee.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Asking you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

  “And me,” Mitchell says.

  “And me,” Max adds.

  I look around at my family then at my boys, and tears spill from my eyes.

  “What do you say, baby? Are you gonna run or jump?”

  “Jump. Definitely jump!” I rush toward him and throw myself into his arms, laughing as I pepper kisses on his face. I lean back when he takes my hand and watch, holding my breath, as he slides a gorgeous yellow gold ring with one large diamond and two smaller ones up against it onto my finger. I stare at the ring then look at my boys and know wherever Beth is, she’s an idiot for not appreciating what she had. I also know I will never make the same mistake.

  _______________

  One year later . . .

  “Open them,” I say, and both Mitchell and Max tear into their boxes wrapped in white paper then toss the tissue paper out onto the floor. I see the looks of confusion then realization fill their eyes and laugh when they both look between their father and me.

  “Seriously?” Max asks.

  “No way,” Mitchell says, holding up his shirt that says Big Brother #1 the exact same shirt as his brother’s, except Max’s says Big Brother #2.

  “Way.” I laugh, and then start to cry when they rush forward to hug me. “I love you boys. I hope you know that.”

  “We know. You tell us all the time,” Max says, letting me go so he can hug his dad while Mitchell sits next to me.

  I do tell them I love them all the time. Fearing that you will never be able to tell the people you love how you feel will do that to you. Now, not a day goes by where I don’t show them exactly what they mean to me. And I’m sure sometimes I sound like a broken record telling them that I love them all the time, but oh well. Some things are worth repeating.