A Blessing for Miriam

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Shirley couldn’t keep tears from trickling down her cheeks. Already Miriam was the shining beacon in the Yoder home. But that was how it should be, and she mustn’t be jealous.

  Naomi must have noticed Shirley’s distress because she dropped back a step. “Miriam sure seems happy, but you’d be happy too if you’d just come home from that wild and terrible Oklahoma.”

  Shirley grimaced. “I liked it in Oklahoma, and so did Miriam.”

  Naomi didn’t look convinced. “There are tornados like oceans out there. They get almost three times the number of tornadoes we do! That’s what Mamm and Miriam are talking about right now. With so many tornadoes there must be very little land that doesn’t get hit.”

  “Miles are different from oceans,” Shirley corrected. “I guess I’m a little emotional right now. Miriam’s the one who should be crying.”

  “Miriam’s come home,” Naomi said, as if that explained everything. “And Glen’s coming this evening. You’ll feel better soon.”

  A smile crept across Shirley’s face.

  Naomi grinned and left to give Miriam another hug.

  Done talking with Mamm, Miriam lifted her head high to take in a deep breath. “Home at last—and off that horrible bus. I declare, they get noisier every time I ride in one.”

  Mamm ignored the remark and ushered Miriam to the couch. “Sit down and tell us all about little Jonathon and more about your trip…if you want to.”

  “Well, as I said,” Miriam began, “the bus ride wasn’t that great. Uncle William and Aunt Fannie took me to the bus station in Coalgate with their faithful driver, Mr. Whitehorse. That was on Monday morning, and…”

  The front door opened. Daett came in and plunked two more suitcases on the floor. He regarded Miriam for a moment. “My eldest daughter back home and safe. We have much to be thankful for.”

  “Thanks, Daett, for everything,” Miriam murmured.

  Daett went on, a smile on his face. “I want to say again how glad Mamm and I are over the choices you’ve made lately, Miriam. I know you took the loss of Wayne deeply to heart, but in the end it will all be for the best.”

  Miriam frowned slightly.

  Daett glanced at the suitcases on the floor for a moment. His face sobered. “I need to tell you, Miriam, that I spoke at length with Ivan last Sunday after the service. I’ve been wanting to tell you this since I picked you up at the bus station, but with Mrs. Faulkner in the car it didn’t seem…”

  Mamm spoke up. “Daett, not now. This can wait until we speak with Miriam in private.”

  Daett swallowed hard but nodded. “I suppose so. I know I don’t always wait for the proper moment.”

  “You spoke with Ivan?” Miriam’s face was pale.

  Naomi leaped to her feet. “I think I’m leaving about right now.”

  Shirley stayed rooted in her seat as Naomi vanished up the stairs. If they wanted her gone they could say so. This conversation was obviously going to continue now, even over Mamm’s objections.

  Daett waited until Naomi’s footsteps had died away. “Let me explain. You were doing so well with your recent decisions, Miriam, that I thought I should follow my promise to you and speak with Ivan. I’m sure he’s had thoughts about you, after everything you told me out in Oklahoma and since his frau passed. I wanted to clear the air with him. I was also upset over how things went between the two of you—back when. So I wanted to know his heart on the matter—on the farm, that is—and let him know we’re getting rid of that problem.”

  “You didn’t, Daett.” Miriam’s voice was pained.

  Mamm kept quiet, but she reached over to hold Miriam’s hand.

  Shirley hadn’t expected this. Was this what Mamm had meant earlier when she referenced a wedding this fall? Her parents had apparently given their approval to Ivan renewing his interest in Miriam. And obviously they expected Miriam to follow their lead. Shirley gripped the edge of her seat with both hands. She couldn’t have gotten a word out of her mouth if she’d tried. Some welcome home Mamm and Daett had planned for Miriam.

  Daett stared at the suitcases and then looked at his eldest daughter. “Ivan has changed much since Laura’s gone, Miriam. Sorrow does that to the human heart. And so have you, but you’re back now. Ivan would make a decent husband for you. I know your heart may need time to heal from the loss of Wayne, and so does Ivan’s from the loss of Laura. He loved his frau, but the Lord obviously had other plans for him. For the two of you.”

  “But I can’t do this,” Miriam whispered. “I’m just back, and…” Her voice died away.

  Shirley forced herself to stand and go sit beside Miriam on the couch. She slipped her arm around Miriam’s shoulders. What she should say, she still had no idea. Hopefully Miriam would know that she wasn’t in on this scheme.

  Miriam turned to study Shirley’s face for a moment. “Do you support this?”

  Shirley’s thoughts tumbled over each other. First of all, there was no way she wanted to contradict Mamm and Daett in front of them. Second, she’d been wrong when it came to love before. She’d resisted Miriam’s initial interest in Wayne because she’d wanted her to accept Ivan’s attentions despite Ivan’s faulty reasons.

  Miriam looked away when her sister didn’t answer.

  Shirley tightened her hand around Miriam’s shoulders, trying to send a message. That she could do. She would supply moral support for whatever decision Miriam made in the end. Miriam would have something to say about this, even if Mamm and Daett thought the matter a closed subject.

  “Daett is right on this,” Mamm interjected. “Like he was right in Oklahoma about the money. Think for a moment, Miriam. Doesn’t it feel like a great burden is off your shoulders now that you’ve given away that money? When we sell the farm, you’ll be rid of the last of this awful mistake.”

  “Mr. Bland’s decision was not a mistake!” Miriam seemed to gather strength. “I was the one who was too weak to handle the gift correctly. And Daett will not be selling the farm. I’ve given it to him, but legally it can’t be sold by you. And that’s that.”

  Daett’s lips pressed together. “Now we’re back to the same old argument, Miriam. I will sell the place after you sign the deed over to me.”

  “Possession of the farm was set up as a trust for our family. You might be able to break the trust with lawyers, I suppose,” Miriam said softly.

  Daett sighed. “And here I thought you’d been making such wise decisions lately. Was I wrong?”

  Miriam sat up straighter. “Daett, you can’t possibly know how I feel right now. About marrying, my heart hasn’t healed yet. I can’t even think about loving someone else again. And certainly not Ivan.”

  “We do understand.” Mamm moved closer. “But won’t you at least consider what Daett has said? Don’t write off Ivan so easily. Take your time, Miriam, and let the Lord heal both of your hearts.”

  Miriam forced a smile. “I appreciate your concern. I just can’t talk about Ivan now. On the farm issue, Daett must accept that the farm was a gift from me with a plan in place so that it couldn’t be sold without the entire family agreeing. And I do not agree.”

  Daett shook his head. “I can’t keep the farm. My conscience won’t allow it.”

  Miriam stood and faced Daett. “Maybe your conscience is too tender in some areas. Look at how our family has suffered because of your convictions. You refuse to deal with the tourists that everyone else caters too. That’s why I had to take the job to help Mr. Bland to begin with. And that’s why I stuck with it—because it paid so well. And that’s why I received the farm and the money. Because I did my work conscientiously. I think you should consider that you’re not right about everything.”

  Shirley felt her head nod as she whispered, “That I can agree with.” She glanced at Daett’s face. How was he reacting to his daughters’ obvious defiance?

  Daett studied the two of them but refused to say anything.

  Mamm broke the ice by standing and saying, “Let’s not pursu
e this now. Go unpack, Miriam, and then rest a while. We have a nice supper planned especially for you tonight. Shirley’s Glen is stopping by. You’ll get to meet him.”

  Miriam nodded. After Mamm and Daett left for the kitchen, Miriam whispered to Shirley, “Thank you for the support.”

  “I’m glad you’re home!” Shirley whispered back. She stood and pulled Miriam close for a long hug.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  As the sun set that evening, Shirley helped Mamm lay out the supper dishes. Upstairs Miriam finished unpacking and laid down to rest. She could hear her school-aged brothers and sisters playing outside.

  Shirley glanced out the kitchen window to check on the kids, and they were all racing around the yard in the best of spirits. Baby Anna had awakened from her nap and was cooing on her blanket in front of the stove. Thankfully things had calmed down after Daett and Mamm’s startling disclosure about talking with Ivan Mast. Miriam had taken the revelation quite well, Shirley thought. But Miriam was that kind of person. It did sound like Daett had talked to her about Ivan before…perhaps in Oklahoma. Miriam had always been an example for the rest of the family in obedience. Now she appeared to be headed for a renewed relationship with Ivan whether she wanted to or not, whether she liked him or not. Perhaps even wedding him this fall. Would Miriam even consider such a thing? This was, after all, marriage. Could Miriam ever really love Ivan? Could she vow to live with him in obedience the rest of her life? One thing Shirley was sure of, if Mamm and Daett thought their second daughter should marry a man she didn’t love, there wasn’t a chance she’d comply.

  But she was no Miriam, who seemed able to change direction as the Lord changed her circumstances. Shirley sighed. She was still struggling with having good memories of Jonas and their heady relationship. The thought of fast car rides and fancy restaurants lingered in her mind. No man would ever be able to kiss her like Jonas. That was simply not possible. Dazzling fire filled Shirley’s heart at the memory of his passionate kisses.

  “Is Glen still coming tonight?” Mamm asked, interrupting Shirley’s thoughts.

  “Yah.” Shirley quickly returned to the present.

  “How are you and Glen getting along?”

  “Okay, I guess,” Shirley said with a shrug.

  “It’s nice that he’s coming over for supper tonight.” Mamm’s voice revealed hopefulness.

  A warm feeling did fill Shirley’s heart at the thought of Glen’s kindness. He’d been the first one who made her feel good despite her scarred face. And he’d come to see her in the hospital after her most recent surgery. The man was a treasure. There was no doubt on that point. He just wasn’t Jonas.

  Before Mamm could press her point, footsteps came down the stairs. Miriam appeared in the kitchen doorway.

  After looking over all their food preparations, Miriam exclaimed, “This wasn’t necessary. Why, look at all this food you’ve made!”

  Mamm practically glowed. “It’s not much, and I didn’t invite any visitors other than Glen, who sort of invited himself. You don’t even have to dress up. We wanted to do some little thing at least to welcome you home.”

  Miriam looked ready to protest further, but instead she said, “That’s awful nice of you, that’s all I can say.” She quickly washed her hands in the kitchen sink and turned her attention to baby Anna. “Hi, little one!” she cooed. “Are you awake from your nap?” Miriam leaned over and tickled Anna on the cheek. The child waved her arms and smiled. After a few minutes of murmured endearments, Miriam stood up. “So, what can I do to help, Mamm?”

  “Sit right there and talk to us some more about Oklahoma,” Mamm ordered, pointing to a kitchen chair. “We were interrupted earlier, and I’m sure there’s more to tell, isn’t there?”

  Miriam nodded and picked up baby Anna before she pulled out a chair. “Well, for one thing, the school board asked me back for another year. I accepted.”

  Shirley gasped. “You’re going back there with Wayne gone?”

  Miriam’s face clouded for a moment. “I know—it may be hard at times. But life goes on, and I have to go on with it. I like the community there, and they like me. I really enjoy teaching too.”

  Mamm stared at Miriam. “What about Ivan?”

  “I don’t really want to talk about him,” Miriam replied. “Instead, why don’t you tell me about Glen, Shirley? Start at the beginning. Where did he come from? Men like that don’t drop in out of the blue.”

  “You’re supposed to be telling us about Oklahoma,” Shirley reminded her.

  Miriam laughed softly. “Touchy subject, is it? Well, that must mean there’s something to it. And he’s coming tonight? Daett must like him to allow that.”

  Shirley said nothing even though Mamm smiled. The answer was obvious, Shirley thought. And she did like the man, just not the way her family and Glen wanted her to. But she would try. Glen was a decent man. She couldn’t go wrong with him.

  “You still haven’t told us about Aunt Fannie and baby Jonathon,” Mamm pressed.

  A smile flew across Miriam’s face. “He’s growing like a weed the last few weeks. Fat and chubby for a little boy. Just adorable! We all love him.”

  Mamm appeared wistful. “I’d love to see him again. I guess one of you girls has to hurry up with a wedding so your Aunt Fannie and Uncle William have an excuse to visit.”

  Miriam ignored the comment, and Shirley did the same.

  “Then there is all the rebuilding going on,” Miriam said.

  The sound of buggy wheels came from the driveway, and Shirley glanced out the kitchen window. She was on her way to the utility room seconds later.

  Miriam’s words followed her. “I’d say there is something to this Glen fellow.”

  Which was true, Shirley supposed. Glen had arrived, and her feelings had perked up for the moment. She wanted to welcome him since he’d been nice enough to come. The younger children had already gathered around the buggy, and Shirley shooed them aside. “Move back and let the man get out.”

  Glen grinned as he climbed down. “What a welcome! I think I’ll come more often. Shall I tie up or unhitch?”

  “Tie up is fine. Supper won’t last that long.”

  His face fell, but Glen didn’t say anything as he pulled the tie rope out from under the buggy seat.

  “Come to think of it,” Shirley rushed on to say after noticing his look, “why don’t you unhitch? The evening is…” She left the rest unsaid. She saw Glen’s face light up. He clearly wanted to stay past suppertime to spend time with her.

  “How’s Miriam after the long bus trip?” Glen asked. He walked around the buggy to undo the tugs, while Shirley took care of the side closest to her.

  “Rough ride as usual.” Shirley gave him a friendly smile.

  Glen led his horse forward. The children returned to the yard to continue their play.

  Shirley followed Glen to the barn. “You can use the empty stall in the back.”

  Glen put his horse inside and was pleased when he returned. “Thanks for letting me stay the evening, Shirley.”

  “Maybe we can take a stroll before suppertime,” she offered. “I think Mamm has things under control without me. It’ll be dark soon, so now is a good time.”

  His face lit up even more. “I’d enjoy that.”

  “Then here we go!” Shirley led the way outside and around the side of the barn.

  Glen gave her a quick sideways glance. “You’re looking gut.”

  Heat rushed up her face, and Shirley looked away. “That’s kind of you to say.”

  “I’m not just saying so,” he protested. “You’ve always been beautiful. From the first time I saw you. But now you’re…”

  “We’re taking a walk, Glen, and enjoying the late afternoon.” Shirley tried to look stern. “And you’ve always been too kind.” She reached for his hand even though they were still in sight of the house. Her fingers lingered in his for a few moments before she let go. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me, Glen. I
don’t deserve your kindness.”

  “I beg to differ.” His gaze searched her face when they stopped momentarily at a pasture gate.

  She opened it for him. She could still feel the flush of embarrassment on her neck.

  “Is something wrong?” Glen asked with concern as they walked further and further from the house.

  Shirley shook her head. “Not really, I’m just thinking about things.”

  Glen fell silent for a few minutes. “I’ve been thinking too, Shirley. I was wondering if we couldn’t…” He didn’t want to waste words. “The truth is, Shirley, I’m ready to settle down. I know rumspringa is a time to find out where your heart is and taste a few things of the world. I’ve done that now. There’s nothing out there for me. And now I’ve found you. I…” Glen’s voice drifted off.

  He was waiting for an answer, and Shirley wanted to say something, but she couldn’t think of what. “I’m glad for you,” she finally managed to get out.

  He studied her face. “Where are you at, Shirley? You know, with your rumspringa time.”

  “I guess I’ve not had too much of it yet.” Shirley knew that was a lame answer, and Glen’s face showed his disappointment.

  “I’m sorry to push the subject. I know I told you I’d wait for you to decide, but I’d really like to be bringing you home regular on Sunday evenings.”

  I thought we could just be friends. The words almost slipped out, but Shirley caught them just in time. Although true, they felt unkind. Glen wanted more out of the relationship. He’d never made that a secret. He wouldn’t be here tonight if he didn’t want to know her family better…because of knowing her. Marriage would eventually be on his mind, that was certain.

  “Well, maybe we can.” The words came out easier than she expected.

  “Like when?”

  Shirley laughed. Glen appeared to not believe his own ears. “I don’t know. You’re the one to do the asking.”