The Girl of His Dreams (Bachelor #1)

by Janet Nissenson

  But his feeble attempt to normalize this awful turn of events was met with stony silence from Ian, and complete disregard from the two women who continued to stare at each other in visible astonishment. Aubrey tugged her arm from his grasp, opening her mouth as if intending to speak, but no sound escaped. Tessa had paled considerably, and grabbed hold of a nearby chair to steady herself.

  Ian was so furious that Jordan was vaguely surprised steam wasn’t escaping from the top of his head. He took Jordan by the arm, his grip like iron, and growled, “We need to talk. In private. And you’d damn well better believe you’ve got a lot to answer for.”

  Jordan dug his heels in, no easy feat considering that Ian was admittedly far stronger than he was, and placed his hand on Aubrey’s shoulder as he tried desperately to get her attention.

  “Aubrey,” he began faintly. “This - I was going to explain all of this to you. It just never seemed the right time. And I know it’s been a shock, for all three of you, but if you’d let me explain it all. Please.”

  But his words appeared to fall on deaf ears as Aubrey shrugged his hand away, not even acknowledging his presence as she and Tessa continued their stare down. Ian, meanwhile, was all but pulling him along now as he hustled him out of the ballroom, apparently not giving a damn about all the curious pairs of eyes focused in their direction.

  Ian didn’t slow his pace until he’d located a semi-secluded alcove a short distance from the restrooms. He all but shoved Jordan up against the wall, and the murderous expression on his handsome face was terrifying enough to give a grown man nightmares.

  “Before you start floundering around trying to explain this fiasco, answer me this one question first,” Ian demanded in a low but ominous voice. “What the bloody fuck do you think you’re doing anyway?”

  Jordan eased himself away from the wall, straightening his tuxedo jacket as he glared at Ian. “If you’d stop overreacting, not to mention strong arming me, I have every intention of explaining everything. But not until you calm the hell down.”

  “Calm down!” exclaimed Ian in disbelief. “For Christ’s sake, Jordan, you just gave my wife the shock of her life, not to mention giving every gossip in that ballroom enough fodder to last weeks, and you want me to calm down? I think, under the circumstances, that might be expecting a bit too much of me, don’t you agree?”

  Jordan exhaled sharply. “Yeah, I guess so. But I can explain this. At least as much as I know of the facts. I mean, I can certainly explain how and where I met Aubrey. The part about her and Tessa looking like - well, twins - is as much of a mystery to me as it is to everyone.”

  Ian crossed his arms across his chest, as though he didn’t trust himself otherwise not to slug Jordan in the jaw. Or the gut. Or, considering that Ian still kept up the boxing skills he’d honed at Oxford, somewhere even more painful. “Go on,” was all he said in response.

  “You probably won’t believe this - because it was hard for me to believe at first - but meeting Aubrey was purely a one hundred percent coincidence. I met her in Maui, on my first day on the island. I noticed her on the beach because - well, noticing gorgeous women is sort of what I do and she’s undeniably the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Except, of course, for Tessa because they obviously look so much alike,” babbled Jordan anxiously. “And when I got to know Aubrey I realized how well suited we were to each other, how great we got along together, and how much I enjoyed her company. And since her job assignment in Maui was due to end soon I invited her to visit me in San Francisco for a little while. But once she arrived and I saw her for the first time in weeks, it hit me that I had fallen in love with her. Which is why I called to ask if you could arrange an interview for her - which she’s very, very grateful for, by the way - because she needed a job and I was desperate for her to stay in San Francisco. And - and that about sums it up, I think,” he finished weakly.

  Ian closed his eyes, massaging a spot near his right temple. “Good Lord, I didn’t ask for a day by day account of how your relationship with this woman unfolded, Jordan. But there are two things you are going to answer for me, by God. The first one is this - what is Aubrey’s connection to Tessa? Because I don’t believe that it’s simply mere coincidence that the two of them look so much alike. How old is Aubrey exactly? More importantly, what do you know of her background?”

  “She’s twenty-five,” Jordan replied hurriedly. “And she’s from San Diego originally. I haven’t met her parents or any other family members, but I do know that she’s - well, that she was adopted as a baby. And of course the same thought crossed my mind when I realized how closely the two of them resemble each other. But don’t you think Tessa would have known about the existence of a - a sister or cousin or someone who shared the same genetic traits?”

  Ian’s eyes snapped open. “Given that Tessa’s mother was severely mentally ill, with full blown bipolar disorder, and more often than not the most irresponsible, incompetent mother one could ever imagine, almost anything is possible. But, for Christ’s sake, Jordan, tonight was not the time and place to spring something like this on Tessa. You know how vulnerable she can be, how much she’s been through in her life. You should have told us weeks ago about this, should have broken the news to her far more gently than the shock you just gave her. Which brings me to my second question.”

  Jordan scrubbed a hand over his face. “I know I screwed up big time, Ian. And I’m sure this has been just as much of a shock for Aubrey as it has been for Tessa. I thought about telling her so many times, but I could never figure out how to even begin.”

  “Of course you couldn’t,” sneered Ian. “And we both know why that is, don’t we? I mean, how do you even begin to tell the woman that you’re supposedly in love with that she’s simply a substitute for the woman you really want? The woman you could never have because she belonged to someone else.”

  Jordan’s spine stiffened in outrage. “Now, listen here, Ian! That is so far from the truth it doesn’t even merit an explanation. But I will explain, even though none of what you just said is true. Aubrey and Tessa are totally different women, and Aubrey is the one I’m in love with. Not your wife. And for you to even suggest otherwise is a crock of lies.”

  “Is it?” demanded Ian arrogantly. “I don’t think so, mate. Come on, Jordan, you’re not fooling anyone here, and certainly not me. It’s been the worst kept secret in San Francisco that you’ve had a hankering for my wife ever since you met her. Everyone knows, even Tessa. But she’s too kind and compassionate to have ever said anything to you about it, and the only reason I never confronted you myself was to spare her any embarrassment. Now, however, to bring this woman into our world - this woman who looks just like Tessa - well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what your ulterior motives are. You finally figured out that you couldn’t have my wife so you went out and found the next best thing. Does that about sum it up?”

  Jordan’s fists clenched in fury, and it was all he could do to keep from slugging the sanctimonious bastard in the face. “God damn you, Ian,” he hissed. “That’s not the way it is at all. It’s not even close to what the truth is.”

  “Then what is the truth, Jordan? Or do you even know the answer to that? Because you sure as hell haven’t been truthful with me, have you?”

  At the sound of Aubrey’s furious voice, Jordan and Ian both turned towards her. She was standing only a few feet away from where they’d been arguing fiercely, and it was rather obvious from the hurt, angry expression on her face that she had overheard a good deal of what had been said.

  With an overwhelming sense of desperation he rushed to her side, trying with all his might to take her into his arms and comfort her, but she was having none of it. She took a few steps back, holding up a hand to stop him from advancing any further.

  “Don’t touch me,” she told him in a hollow, awful voice. “Especially since I know the truth now. What a stupid fool I’ve been, what a naïve little idiot. This whole th
ing has been a big fat lie, hasn’t it? You coming up to me on the beach in Maui that first day - you noticed right away that I looked like - like her. That’s the only reason you approached me, isn’t it?”

  Jordan shook his head. “Aubrey, no. That’s not it at all. Just let me explain everything. Please.”

  Aubrey took another step backwards. “I think it’s already perfectly clear, Jordan. You were in love with another woman - a married woman - and when you realized you’d never have her for yourself you set out to find an acceptable substitute. And by some bizarre stroke of fate you met me. Now, I have no idea why a woman I’ve never seen before looks so much like me, but that’s really not the point here. The point is that you were obviously thinking of her every time you and I were together, imagining that it was her you were with and not me. That - that’s sick, Jordan. Sick and twisted and creepy.” Tears began to trickle down her flushed cheeks. “You should have told me,” she whispered brokenly. “From the first time we met. Should have found a way to tell me that you knew a woman who looked just like me - and that you were in love with her.”

  “I’m not in love with Tessa,” Jordan barked. “Don’t listen to what Ian says, he’s got zero idea about my feelings.” He turned to glare at the other man. “And he should go look after his own woman and give the two of us some privacy.”

  Ian scowled but didn’t argue, striding briskly in the direction of the ballroom in search of his wife, who was no doubt every bit as upset as Aubrey appeared to be.

  Jordan attempted again to comfort her, placing his hand on her arm only to have her shake it off. “Come on, Aubrey. You’ve got to give me a chance to explain. I fully admit to screwing this entire situation up big time, should have told you about Tessa from the very beginning. But I swear to you that nothing ever happened between us, that she was always Ian’s from the very first time I met her and I always respected those boundaries. As for that bullshit Ian just tried to spout about you being a substitute for her - well, that’s just nonsense.”

  “Is it?” demanded Aubrey, impatiently wiping the tears from her face. “I’m not so sure about that. And this so-called infatuation you’ve had with Tessa Gregson for I don’t know how long would certainly explain why you were so hell-bent on getting a date with me. It would explain why you even approached me on the beach that day to begin with. You noticed that I looked like her and couldn’t pass the opportunity up. Tell me the truth, Jordan. When you took me to bed for the first time, did you pretend it was really Tessa there with you, or did you even know it was me?”

  “Of course I knew it was you!” he exclaimed angrily. “Christ, what kind of a pervert do you think I am anyway? It was obvious to me within five minutes of meeting you that you were nothing like Tessa so far as your personality was concerned. That the two of you were as different as night and day except for the physical appearance. And you were the one I wanted to be with, Aubrey. The one I begged to come and visit me in San Francisco. The one,” he added softly, “that I’m actually in love with.”

  “Love!” she scoffed. “God, what exactly does a lifelong bachelor like yourself - an admitted manwhore - know about love? I don’t think you have any idea what real love feels like, Jordan. Because if you really loved me you wouldn’t have kept something like this from me for weeks - months.”

  “I was afraid of screwing things up,” he admitted. “I told you several times that I’m totally new to this concept of relationships, and have no idea how it’s all supposed to unfold. And I was so happy to have you with me, so thrilled that you’d agreed to stay in San Francisco, that I didn’t want to take the risk of spoiling everything. There just never seemed to be the right time to tell you about Tessa. But it seems that I’ve managed to screw everything up anyway.”

  “You should have told me,” she whispered. “This - tonight - meeting her this way. I can’t even explain what a shock it’s been. And I’m sure it’s the same for her. Both of us deserved better from you, Jordan.”

  “I know,” he acknowledged sadly. “I’m an idiot, no question there. But I’d like to explain it all to you now, Aubrey. Can we go somewhere quiet where we can talk? There’s a rooftop bar in this hotel that should be private. Or we can just go back to the condo.”

  “No.” Aubrey shook her head firmly. “I can’t talk to you now, Jordan. Can’t be with you. I need some time to let this all sink in. And I’m so pissed off at you that all I can think about is throwing every heavy object I can get my hands on at your head. So this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to get a cab back to your condo, pack up my stuff, and find a hotel room for the night. Tomorrow morning I’m catching a flight home to San Diego where I can try and make some sense of all this. I don’t want you contacting me or pressuring me or trying to see me for awhile. All right?”

  Jordan opened his mouth to argue, to do his damndest to convince her otherwise. But then he glimpsed the stony, stubborn expression on her face and realized that there was nothing at all he could do right now to help his cause. Aubrey was furious and hurt - rightly so - and with a sinking feeling he accepted that all he could do right now was to give her space, and hope that she could eventually find it in her heart to forgive him and give him another chance.

  “All right,” he murmured hoarsely. “I know how badly I’ve hurt you, Aubrey. How angry you must be feeling right now. But please believe me when I tell you that it’s really you I love. That you’re the only woman in the world I’ve ever felt that way about, ever said those words to. You, Aubrey, and not some other woman who just happens to look like you.”

  Her blue eyes were sad. “I’m not sure I can believe anything you tell me right now, Jordan,” she replied tiredly. “Look, if and when I feel like I can listen to you without wanting to hit something I’ll give you a call. Until then, just leave me alone.”

  As she swept down the hall towards the staircase that would lead her to the lobby - and out of his life – all Jordan could do was watch her go, his heart breaking a little more with every step she took.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Jordan? I know you didn’t want to take any calls this morning, but it’s Mrs. Gregson on the line for you. Tessa Gregson. And she promises she’ll only take a minute or two of your time. Do you - would you like me to put her through?”

  Jordan sighed at the question his receptionist had asked tentatively. And while it was the first time Tessa had ever called him directly this way, he’d more or less been expecting a call from her all morning.

  “Yes, it’s okay to put her through. And thanks, Hannah. I know I’ve been something of a jerk to everyone this morning. It was just - well, let’s call it a rough night,” acknowledged Jordan wearily.

  “Hey, no problem, Jordan,” assured the perpetually perky young receptionist. “We’re all entitled to an off day once in awhile. Hold on a sec, and I’ll put Mrs. Gregson through.”

  An off day, as Hannah had so diplomatically put it, was a gross understatement, thought Jordan with a grimace as he waited for his office phone to ring with Tessa’s call. ‘More like the absolute worst fucking day of my entire life,’ he told himself. But then, it was no less than he deserved for the chaos he’d caused last night.

  He’d been way too much of a coward to go back inside the ballroom last night, unwilling to deal with the curious glances of the attendees who’d been witness to the debacle. And he’d been downright terrified to come face to face with either of the Gregsons - Ian because he still wasn’t convinced the other man wouldn’t throw a punch before the night was over, and Tessa because he’d already had to deal with one weeping, emotional woman that night.

  So he’d escaped to the same rooftop bar he’d begged Aubrey to accompany him to, finding a table in a darkened corner and tried to drink away his woes. He’d lingered for more than two hours in order to give Aubrey sufficient time to pack her things and arrange for a hotel, knowing that she wouldn’t appreciate running into him again that evening. Fortunately, he had
decided to take a cab to the ball instead of driving his own car. There was no way he would have been able to drive home safely, given his inebriated state plus the emotional upheaval he’d gone through.

  Aubrey had left a couple of lights on in the condo, but she’d made quick work of clearing out the majority of her belongings by the time he’d arrived back home. Her laptop and papers were missing from the dining room table, her toiletries cleaned out of the bathroom, and almost all of her clothes and other belongings gone. It had broken his heart to realize that the things she’d left behind had been most of the ones he had bought for her - including the beautiful yellow gown, gold shoes, and diamond jewelry she’d worn to the ball just a few hours earlier.

  He hadn’t had the energy, or the will, to move the clothes and shoes she had deliberately not taken with her to the depths of his closet, where he wouldn’t have to look at them every time he opened the door. Maybe that would be part of his penance for his role in this whole clusterfuck, he’d thought grimly - forcing himself to look at her things on a daily basis, to remember all the glorious moments they had shared, how happy they had been together. Until he’d been too much of a coward to be honest with her, had been too afraid of angering or upsetting her with the truth. And because of his utter stupidity, everything was now ten times as bad, ten times as messed up and complicated, and he’d wondered wearily if there was any chance at all that Aubrey would ever speak to him again, much less allow him back into her life.

  But he owed it to Tessa to take this phone call, to hear what she had to say, and to make some feeble attempt to apologize to her. He hesitated, though, when his phone buzzed, and had to take a deep breath before picking it up.

  “Tessa. How - how are you this morning?” he inquired tentatively.

  Her voice on the other end of the line was both sad and reproachful. “Not especially well, Jordan, as I’m sure you can imagine,” she replied frostily. “After all, it isn’t every day that you come face to face with your - your twin or doppelganger or whatever the correct term is. How is - Aubrey?”