Freed from Jack’s tense embrace, I reclaimed my purse in preparation to leave one hospital for another. Keith walked Jack through the specifics, and Jack numbly added his signature whenever he was asked. I turned in Heide’s direction just as one of the ER nurses approached us, carrying a bag in her hand.
Jack was still preoccupied with Keith’s paperwork, so she offered the clear plastic bag containing Heide’s socks and soccer cleats to me. The bottoms of her cleats were caked in thick mud and grass. I glanced over the nurse’s shoulder to peer at Heide, worried that her naked feet would grow cold. I was relieved to see they’d been covered by a blanket.
“Where are the rest of her clothes?” I asked the nurse.
“They were ruined. We had to cut them off her. We’ll dispose of them.”
“I see.” The nurse patted my arm in sympathy before returning to Heide’s bedside.
Keith and Jack were finished with their paperwork, and the flight nurse pulled a business card from the same pocket he kept his pen in. He offered the card to Jack.
“This is the ICU where your daughter will be admitted. I know it’s a bit of a drive from here. You can call that number and check on her status while you’re making your way to Portland.”
“What will happen when she arrives at the hospital?” Jack asked Keith.
“With an injury like hers, emergency surgery could be necessary. She’ll undergo more tests when she arrives at OHSU, and then we’ll know more about the extent of her injuries. Do you have any other questions before I leave?”
“No,” Jack mumbled.
Keith made eye contact with Jack as he offered his farewell. “I’ll take good care of your daughter. We’ll land in Portland in about forty-five minutes. You call that number and the staff there will let you know that we have arrived. They’ll keep you well informed of Heide’s condition. All right?”
“Yes,” Jack said. “Thank you for your help.”
“Stay strong,” Keith advised. “Drive safe.”
“Can we follow you out? To see her off?” I inquired this without considering if the request made any kind of sense. I just knew that it was important enough to ask. Jack reached for my hand and squeezed it. It was important to him, too.
Once again, Keith made no assurances. When he returned to Heide’s exam room however, we saw him speak with the same nurse who’d brought me her belongings. Within moments, we heard Keith ask if his colleagues were ready to go, and both answered in the affirmative. They secured all the machines, tubes and wires that were connected to Heide and began to push her bright orange gurney out into the corridor.
As the flight crew made their way back down the same hallway they had come from, the ER nurse stepped out from Heide’s exam room and beckoned us to join her.
“I can’t let you go the full distance, but follow me. I’ll lead you as far as I can.”
Jack and I followed without a single word. Ahead of us, the three men from Portland were focused on their patient. It was difficult to be grateful for anything as I watched her being navigated through an unfamiliar set of hallways, but there was some relief that this crew had been the one sent to care for her. Keith had been direct, yet comforting, and I was confident in his abilities to help save Heide’s life.
The walk to the landing pad turned out to be a short one, and the ER nurse stopped us just outside the exit door. “This is it. You’ll need to wait here.”
“Thank you,” Jack replied. His eyes locked on his daughter as she was taken farther and farther away from him. The nurse stepped just inside the doorway, offering us the smallest bit of privacy. I stepped closer to Jack and slid my arm through his. I squeezed, hoping the effort would deliver what little strength I had to him.
We watched in silence as Heide was loaded into the chopper. The door to the craft was closed and secured just as soon as the final flight nurse was inside, blocking her from our sight. Seconds later, the helicopter lifted off the ground away from the landing pad with precision. We both craned our necks as Jack’s daughter drifted away from the ground. It wasn’t more than a minute before it left our sight completely.
I drew in a rickety breath. Standing in the afternoon sun holding onto Jack, I was as helpless as I had been when my mother died. I didn’t know if I was capable of doing everything that would see Heide and Jack safely through this crisis. Despite my own personal demons, I understood that I’d never been involved in an emergency like this. I was afraid for Heide’s life. I was afraid for Jack’s well-being. And I was afraid of failing them both. I didn’t know what to expect going forward, but at least I knew where to begin.
“If you’re ready, we should go. I’ll drive you home to pack a few things, and then I’ll drive you to Portland. I know exactly where Heide’s going. I’ll take you right to her.”
Jack didn’t answer me, but turned his back on the landing pad. Five minutes later, we were in my car, pulling away from St. Charles for the beginning of a very long journey.
WHEN WE arrived at Jack’s house, I opted to leave the hospital bag with Heide’s items in the trunk of my car. In his daze, he hadn’t paid attention to what I was carrying from the ER, and I’d been able to stow it away from him. I walked with Jack to the front door and when he opened it, Kitty Hawk meowed her usual greeting.
“Damn it,” he muttered. “What am I going to do about the cat?”
That was a good question, but I didn’t want Jack to linger on it. “I’ll handle it. You go pack.”
As we stepped into the living room, I pulled my useless phone from my bag and stared at the blank screen.
“Do you have your phone with you?” I asked, worried he might have forgotten it somewhere. Jack opened his blazer and checked the inside pocket. “Yes.”
He began to pull it from his jacket, but I waved him off. “We need to keep your line free. Can I use the phone in your kitchen?”
“Go ahead.” Jack was already making his way down the hallway.
“Don’t forget your charger!” I yelled after him. After the debacle from yesterday, it was unlikely I would forget these things ever again.
“Got it!” he called from the bedroom.
Satisfied, I went straight to the landline and called the office. I was comforted when a familiar voice answered the call.
“Aurora Advertising. This is Tracie. How may I direct your call?”
“Tracie, it’s Kathleen.”
“Oh my God! Robert told me Jack’s daughter was in an accident. Is everything all right?”
“No, it isn’t.” I paused to swallow the lump of emotion lodged in my throat. “She was just airlifted to Portland. I have to drive Jack up there.”
“Oh no!”
“Listen, you need to know we’ll both be out of the office for a while. Jack and I are seeing each other, and I’m not about to let him go through this alone.”
Tracie dropped her voice to a whisper. “Your secret is safe with me. Don’t worry about anything there.”
“I’m not worried. We were getting ready to go public, but I don’t think now is the time. I’d appreciate your discretion until things calm down.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes. I really need your help with a couple of things.”
“You got it.”
“Do you still have the key to my condo?”
“Yes. It’s on my keyring.”
I closed my eyes, savoring this one small fluke in an otherwise terrible day. “Great. I’m going to have Jack leave his keys at my place. I’ll put them on my coffee table. You’ll need to take someone with you to the hospital and pick up Jack’s car from the parking lot and drive it back to his house.”
“Sure thing. No problem.”
“Also, he’s going to need someone to look after his cat until one of us comes back. I’ll be honest, Tracie. I don’t know when that will be.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Thank you. I’m here at his house now. He’s packing, and I’ll make
sure the cat has enough food and water until you can make it over.”
“Is there anything else?”
“Not right now, but I may think of other things later. I don’t want to be a pest but I might need to be.”
“Whatever. Just call me or text me. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks so much, Tracie.”
“Is Jack’s daughter going to be all right?”
“I really don’t know,” I whispered.
“Not to stress you out or anything, but Robert instructed me to put you through to him immediately if you called.”
“That’s fine. I was going to call him at some point. Put me through now. Otherwise, I won’t be able to speak to him until this evening.”
“Okay. Be careful on the way to Portland. I’ll talk to you later and tell Jack not to worry about anything. I’ve got it all covered.”
“You’re awesome. Thanks.”
“Sending you over now.”
The line went silent and I waited for my father to answer the phone. I was going to have to rush our conversation, but there were things I needed to say. Important things.
“Kathleen?” Robert picked up the line and interrupted my thoughts. “What’s happening?”
“It’s bad. Heide had to be flown to OHSU. I’m going to drive Jack to Portland. I can’t let him go on his own.”
“Shit. How awful.”
“We’re just packing some things and then getting on the road. I’m hoping to be out of town in less than an hour. I don’t know when either of us will be back.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Do what you have to do. I’ll call you later this evening, but don’t worry about answering if it isn’t a good time. Just text something so I know you both made it up there.”
“Dad?” I hadn’t used the word in years and it was foreign to my own ears.
Robert’s breath hitched on the other end of the line. “What is it?”
“It was terrible of me to run away from you. I realize now you were trying to tell me about Heide. I need to apologize for—”
“We can talk about these things later,” Robert interjected. “When you’re back to work.”
I wanted to express regret for not giving my father a chance. Not today, when he tried to tell me that Heide was hurt. And not decades ago, when my mother died. Robert was right, however, that needed to be a much longer conversation and probably one held in person.
“Okay,” I conceded. “Jack should be almost ready. I better get going. My phone is still”—Don’t say dead. Not right now.—“not working. I’ll charge it in the car.”
“Have you figured out where you’re staying?”
“Um … no. I hadn’t gotten that far yet. All we care about is getting to the hospital.”
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll have Tracie arrange it for you.”
I shook my head even though Robert wasn’t there to see me do so. “I’ve already given her a list of things. I don’t want to add to it.”
“Then I’ll do it,” Robert said with determination. “I’ll find you a room downtown and e-mail the reservation to you. It’s probably the closest you’re going to get to the hospital.”
“Thanks. That would be helpful. If you could try the Sentinel first, I’d prefer to stay there. I’ll give them my credit card number when we arrive. I don’t mean to bolt, but I have a couple of things to help Jack with here before we stop by my place.”
“Go. I’ll get a hold of you later.”
“Bye, Dad.”
“Bye.”
After ending my call, I proceeded to the mudroom to check on Kitty Hawk’s food supply. Her water was low, so I plucked the bowl from the floor. The cat followed my every move as I walked over to the utility sink and refilled it. She grumbled over each effort I made. When I set the water bowl back down, she stared at me as though I had done it all wrong. Very, very wrong.
“I’m trying,” I explained. “I promise to learn the rules when we come back.”
The cat watched me until I left the room.
“Jack?” I called. “How are you doing back there? Do you need help?”
“Almost done,” he answered. “I just need another minute.”
“Okay.”
It was now or never. I dashed back to my car, opened my trunk using the key fob and grabbed the hospital bag. I jogged back into the house and went straight to Heide’s room. I made a mental note to have Tracie take the bag to my condo. I wanted to clean the cleats and socks myself and spare Jack the task. It would have been simpler to leave them in my car, but I was compelled to keep it from Jack’s sight.
I set the bag down on the bedroom floor, near her closet. As I did so, my eyes took in Heide’s empty shoes. She should have been outside playing in the summer sun. Instead, her abandoned shoes were here and she was somewhere over the skies of Oregon, fighting for her life.
I tore my eyes away from the cleats and looked around Heide’s bedroom while I tried to settle my feelings. My eyes came to rest on the poster of Bend’s surrounding mountains, and I was overcome by a horrible thought. Ever since I had known Heide, she had been so eager to climb the peaks near her new home. Was that why this was happening? Had she been pretending to climb mountains when she was hurt?
I rubbed my temple as a bout of fatigue struck me. Then I walked from Heide’s room and made my way to Jack’s. His suitcase had been pitched on the bed with items randomly tossed inside it. I heard him moving around his bathroom, but didn’t want to interfere with his movements. Cautiously I opted to wait in his doorway until he was done. Sure enough, he appeared within a heartbeat or two.
Jack walked right to his suitcase without acknowledging my presence, but this time I refused to take the action personally. He set his toiletry bag on top of his clothes before pulling the lid over and zipping the suitcase closed.
“Let’s go,” he said, taking hold of the handle. “If I’ve forgotten something, I’ll figure it out later.”
“What about your phone charger?” I prompted.
“It’s the first thing I put in the suitcase.”
“Good,” I answered. “I’ll only need five minutes at my place. I keep some things packed all the time for business trips. I’ll just need to grab a few clothes.”
I turned and walked to the front door with Jack close on my heels.
Fifteen minutes later, we were walking into my condo. Jack moved toward my sofa, the same one we’d had sex on. At the last second, he veered course and sat in my reading chair instead.
“I have to call Allison,” he said. “I should do it now before we get on the road. I don’t want to risk dropping the call in the middle of the conversation.”
“Sure,” I said, while wondering if she was the reason why he’d changed his mind about where to sit. “Go ahead.”
But Jack was already dialing, so I went to my bedroom to get my own things organized. I closed my bedroom door to offer Heide’s parents the privacy they deserved. I didn’t want to move too slowly, but I moved slow enough to allow Jack the time he needed to explain to Allison what had happened.
I was sad for Heide’s mother. She’d been preparing for her daughter’s arrival, and now her world was turned upside down. Jack was making the type of call to his ex-wife every parent feared.
Once I was set to leave, I made my way to the kitchen. It would be a good idea to bring some food and drinks along with us. I was still full from my breakfast at Chow, but I wasn’t sure when Jack had last eaten or when we might have the opportunity to do so again.
I began packing what few things I had to take on a road trip. As I did this, I was no longer able to avoid overhearing Jack’s discussion with Allison. From where I stood in the kitchen, I could see him. I was an intruder on an intimate family moment, and I was reticent to draw attention to myself.
“Do you have the confirmation number for Heide’s plane ticket?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion.
Jack paused while Alli
son answered his question. He sniffled between statements.
“Good. While I’m driving to the hospital, I want you to call the airline and explain what’s happened. You need to ask them to put that ticket in your name and change flights. Then you get them to book you on the first available plane to Portland.”
Jack attempted to hold back a sob and failed. The initial shock of Heide’s accident was ebbing away. Having to explain to Allison what had taken place that morning had broken Jack’s emotional dam. I wanted to stop everything and go to him. Kneel in front of him on the floor and hug him, but then I wondered if doing so while he was speaking to Allison would make him feel awkward. Besides, I told myself, the action would delay me from completing my task. As soon as Jack was done with his call, we could leave town.
“I need you to get to Oregon as soon as you can,” he said to her in an ambitious effort to regain his composure. “If the airline wants to charge more or whatever, don’t argue with them. Just give them our American Express card and make it happen.”
There was another pause as Allison responded. “It’s fine. I haven’t used that account in months. I know I was supposed to cancel it, but I just didn’t get around to it. It will work fine. Call me when you get the flight booked, and tell me when you’ll be here.”
There was another short pause while Allison made a request of her own. Jack closed his eyes and dropped his head as he answered her. “I promise. As soon as I know something, I’ll call you. I’ll call you with every update until you’re here. Just please … get here soon. I need to go. The sooner I do, the sooner I can call you with some news.”
There was one last pause before Jack ended the call. “I will. You, too. Bye.”
Cleared for reentry into the living room, I moved toward the front door with several bags in hand. “I’m going to take these to the car. Why don’t you call the hospital before we get on the road? They’ve probably landed by now.”
Jack looked back at his phone and then to me. His face was conflicted. “I should help you load those in the car.”
“It’s fine. I can handle this.”
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