Constellation

by Jennifer Locklear

  “Not at all. Please.” Jack stood back and resumed his seat.

  Dr. Avery listened to Heide’s heart and lungs. Afterward, he checked each of her pupils along with several of her reflexes. Once the brief exam was complete, Dr. Avery turned to Jack.

  “Her heart sounds good and her blood pressure is about where I would expect it to be. I’m not seeing any signs of brain damage, either. We just need to keep watching her and give her body some more time to recover. I know it’s tough to keep calm in a situation like this, but that’s exactly what we need to do.”

  Jack smiled with effort and nodded.

  “I’ll be back tomorrow morning to check on her again, but if something significant changes in her condition, I’ve left instructions for the nurse to contact me. I’ll be available to pop in if need be. Do you have any other questions before I go?”

  “I can’t think of any right now.”

  “I’m sorry this happened to your daughter, but she’s tough.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Take care.”

  Dr. Avery left the room as quietly as he’d entered a few minutes before.

  Jack returned to Heide’s bedside. He gathered one of her small hands in both of his. I studied him and noted his posture was slouched in an unfamiliar manner. His face was drawn and somber.

  “You look tired, Jack.”

  “A little bit,” he confessed.

  I peered at my phone to check the time. “Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and get something to eat? I’ll sit here with Heide. When you return, I’ll take a break.”

  He used one of his hands to rub his face. “Yeah, all right. That sounds like a good plan.”

  I stood from my chair, stepped over to Jack and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He closed one arm around me but kept holding his daughter’s hand with the other, unwilling to let her go.

  I detached and took a step back. “I’ll text you if anything happens.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No worries.”

  He kissed Heide’s hand and then kissed me briefly on the lips before wandering from the room.

  Once Jack left, I found sitting on my own difficult so I occupied myself by tidying up Heide’s room. I disposed of the Starbucks coffee cups we’d brought with us from the hotel and organized a few of the miscellaneous items on the small bedside table. It was while I was attending to this particular task that I heard someone enter the room and gasp. I turned.

  Allison stood just inside the doorway. She was dressed in dark jeans, a purple shirt and a slate gray jacket. Her hair was pulled into a simple yet chic ponytail but her face was devoid of cosmetics. With her hair pulled away from her face, it was easy to see she was exhausted. Her cheeks and lips were both pale, and the dark circles underneath her eyes were the only spots of color in her face.

  Heide’s mother didn’t take notice of me at all. Every bit of her attention was on her daughter, lying unconscious and severely injured in a hospital bed. Allison left the single suitcase in the doorway without a second thought as she approached her daughter. As soon as she was within arm’s reach of Heide, Allison raised a shaking hand to caress her daughter’s cheek. Tears fell from her eyes as she took in the bright red incision that ran almost the full length of Heide’s chest.

  “Has she woken up at all?” she asked without looking at me. Her voice was sad, but still soft and almost melodic. I knew without hearing another syllable it was a well-trained voice for public speaking.

  “Not yet,” I answered. “But she’s expected to.”

  “How soon?”

  “Perhaps another day or two. The surgeon was just here a few minutes ago and he is optimistic about her outcome.”

  Allison nodded as I spoke, and then she unexpectedly pulled her hand back from Heide and grasped the bedrail with both hands. I watched as each of her knuckles turned white. She was holding on to the bed as though it were some sort of lifeline.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “It’s so warm in here,” she muttered.

  I looked at Allison’s face. If she had been pale upon walking into the room, she was now shockingly barren of color.

  “Do you need to take your jacket off?”

  The tempo of her breathing increased. “My ears are ringing.”

  Without delay I hurried around the bed and grasped her by the elbow. “Allison.” My tone was raised and serious, but not too stern, I hoped. “I’m worried you’re going to faint. I want you to lie down for a moment. Can you walk with me?”

  Allison didn’t respond, but she let go of the bedrail and allowed me to guide her away from Heide. Her knees buckled several times as I helped her to the cushioned window seat. I encouraged her to sit down before instructing her to lie back. Once she was secure, I let go of her arm and rushed over to Heide’s bed. I pushed the call button for the nurse and grabbed Jack’s blazer from his chair before making my way back to Allison’s side.

  I rolled the coat into a makeshift pillow and lifted Allison’s head to place it underneath her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said between hurried breaths. “I’m a wreck. I’m sorry.”

  I placed my palm on Allison’s forehead. Her skin was clammy. As I withdrew my hand, Terry came dashing into the room, nearly colliding with Allison’s abandoned suitcase. She looked at me, perplexed.

  I gestured to the woman lying on her back on the window seat. “Heide’s mother just arrived from the airport. I think she nearly passed out.”

  Terry wandered over and performed a quick check of Allison’s vitals before turning to a cupboard across the room and pulling out a washcloth. She turned on a nearby sink and ran the cloth underneath the faucet. After she turned off the water, she extended the small towel in my direction.

  “Put this on her forehead. I’ll grab some juice.”

  I did as instructed while Terry moved the suitcase out of the way as she left the room.

  As soon as the washcloth covered Allison’s eyes, she reached up and held it in place.

  “How are you doing?” I asked her. “Feeling any better?”

  “A little bit,” she whispered.

  “We’re going to get you some juice, so just lay here for now and try to relax. I know seeing Heide like this is a shock, and you’ve had a rough couple of days to get here.”

  Allison bit her lip and nodded. New tears appeared from underneath the white cotton of the washcloth and rolled down her cheek. Although I was hard put to explain how, I recognized something in Allison’s forehead. It was the determined set of her expression, one that I had seen on Heide’s face but hadn’t noticed until it was mimicked by her mother. Already missing Heide’s personality so much, I couldn’t help myself. I stroked Allison’s hair with delicate yet cautious movements.

  Terry returned to the room carrying a small juice box with a straw. “I have some orange juice. Do you think you can hold it and take a few sips?”

  “Yes.” Allison began to sit up and I pulled my hand back.

  Terry brushed the bottom of the juice box against Allison’s hands, stopping her from pulling herself upright. “I want you to stay down for a couple of minutes. Let’s take things nice and slow for the time being.”

  Allison took hold of her juice and rested back against Jack’s blazer. She obediently sipped from the straw and went quiet for several minutes while she concentrated on making herself better.

  I remained at her side, unsure of what to do next.

  “I can smell Jack. Are you in here?”

  Her statement caught me off guard. “No, you’re using his coat as a pillow,” I whispered.

  Allison went still for several heartbeats before pulling the washcloth away from her eyes and looking up at my face. “Who are you?” Her voice was now cool.

  “Kathleen Brighton,” I responded, not wishing to elaborate beyond that. We both understood any additional designations were unnecessary.

  “Where is Jack?” she demanded. “Why isn’t he with our daughte
r?”

  “He’s here in the cafeteria. We decided to eat lunch in shifts so one of us could stay with Heide. I sent him to eat first,” I explained.

  Allison didn’t respond. She was trying not to glare at me. If I had been less experienced in holding back my own vicious looks, I wouldn’t have recognized the effort she was making to hide her true emotions. Her energy renewed, Allison moved into a sitting position and began to stand up.

  I retreated to my chair and gathered my phone and my purse. “You seem to be doing better,” I said while avoiding eye contact. “I’ll go and tell Jack that you’re here.”

  I made my way toward the door while Allison took her rightful place at Heide’s bedside. As I left the room, she said, “I hate it here.”

  I MADE my way to the cafeteria in a daze, walking without paying attention to anything or anyone else around me. When I entered the space, I easily spotted Jack’s form fitting tee shirt in a room filled with hospital professionals. He was sitting alone at a table, motionless and unobservant of the activity around him.

  Instead of approaching to tell him Allison was here, I veered into the food line. As I selected my items, I attempted to get my frazzled nerves under control. Finding nothing much that appealed to me, I picked up an apple, a bag of pretzels and a diet soda, mostly because I could take them all with me when I left. I paid the cashier and then made my way over to Jack. When I took my seat next to him, he looked at me in surprise.

  I held the granny smith apple in both hands and kept my gaze locked on the stem. “Allison is here.”

  Jack was surprised. “Already? Her plane must have landed early.”

  I nodded. “She was pretty upset when she saw Heide. She almost fainted.”

  Jack sat back in his seat and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “That’s not good. I’ve never known her to do that. Not even during pregnancy.”

  I turned to look at Jack’s face. His calm casualness at Allison’s condition irritated me, although I couldn’t pinpoint why. “When was the last time she saw Heide?”

  He hesitated, as though considering whether to divulge an answer. “They spent spring break together.”

  “Well,” I snipped, “it’s a drastic change from the last memory she has of her daughter.”

  Jack’s forehead wrinkled as he tried to make sense of my mood. “What’s the matter?”

  “I’ve decided to make myself scarce this afternoon,” I announced.

  “Why?” Jack was agitated. “What did she say to you?”

  “She didn’t say anything, but it’s only common sense that she doesn’t want me hovering nearby.”

  Jack was stubborn and refused to accept this development. “You have a right to be here.”

  My mind was made up, so I offered another piece of logic before our discussion disintegrated into an argument. “Allison is tired, even more so than we are today. My presence will only wear on her nerves more.”

  “She’ll calm down once she gets some rest.”

  I set my apple down and placed my palm against Jack’s cheek. I waited until he met my eyes before expressing my most important point. “Remember when I told you I wouldn’t interfere with your family? That I refused to be a troublemaker?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled.

  “This is precisely the moment I need to honor that promise.”

  “I wish you would stay here,” he whispered. “You bring me peace.”

  I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his for several seconds, unconcerned with showing my affection for him in public. When I pulled back, Jack appeared to be more relaxed.

  “I want there to be peace today, and I’m convinced that if you insist on your ex-wife sharing the afternoon with your girlfriend, there will be none. She’s so upset about Heide, and she needs to sit at her daughter’s side. Believe me, I don’t want to walk away from you and Heide, but I’m the low one on the totem pole here.”

  “You’re not low,” he responded. “Never think that.”

  I changed the subject as I pulled back from him. “I do have some errands I can run.”

  “Like what?” Jack tested me, looking dubious. “We’ve only been here one day.”

  “I told you last night I wanted to go to the grocery store. We should have a few things handy in the room so we don’t have to go out if we’re too tired. And I can send some of our clothes down for laundry service. If we’re here for a week or more, I just want to make sure we’re both as comfortable as possible. Besides, I should also give Robert a call and let him know what’s going on. I forgot to check in with him last night.”

  “Will you thank him for our hotel room?” Jack wasn’t smiling, and his question suggested he’d accepted I was leaving for the afternoon.

  “Sure.”

  Jack slid his hand into the front pocket of his jeans to get my car keys, and I rested my hand on his forearm to stop him. His skin was warm and his muscles were firm. I couldn’t resist drifting my fingers over the exposed portion of his arm.

  “I can take a cab back to the hotel. I’ll leave my car with you. That way you can decide what you need to do without worrying about how to do it.”

  “Are you sure? What about your trip to the grocery store?”

  “It’s fine. The store is just a few blocks away from the Sentinel. I can walk.”

  “I’ll bring Allison down to the hotel this afternoon so she can check in and get some rest,” Jack said. “You and I will go out to dinner tonight, and then we’ll figure things out from there.”

  “That sounds good. Will you call me if Heide wakes up?”

  “Of course I will.”

  Jack leaned over and we kissed once again. As our kiss lingered, I was torn between finding a way to be available to Jack, and respecting Allison’s need to re-bond with her family. I was wary of upsetting him with my departure, but it was easier to coax Jack to understand my decision than to force myself upon Allison.

  Leaving the hospital was the safe and respectful thing to do.

  When I returned to the Sentinel a short time later, I wasn’t quite ready to return to our hotel room or walk to the grocery store. It was early afternoon, but I wasn’t interested in either of the hotel’s lounges, so I opted for the in-house Starbucks. I approached the counter and ordered Earl Grey tea before occupying a comfortable seat near the window. I stared out at the activity on Eleventh Avenue for a few moments, but soon checked out, lost in my own thoughts of how to handle the situation between Jack and Allison. I had managed to avoid conflict today, but I was increasingly concerned about my ability to navigate the terrain in the days and weeks to come.

  Allison would be spending the summer in Oregon.

  In yesterday’s frantic urge to reunite Jack with Heide, I never paused to consider how the dynamic between Jack and I would have to shift once Allison arrived. Dr. Avery mentioned that Heide would remain hospitalized for several weeks, and from the sound of things, she would need continued care even after leaving OHSU. Despite the emerging differences between the three of us, nothing would matter more than seeing Heide healed. It meant that Jack and I would be forced to make major adjustments in our relationship just when everything had begun to fall into place.

  “Kathleen?”

  I snapped from my thoughts at the surprised sound of my name. I recognized the voice, though I had trouble placing it. I craned my neck and found myself face-to-face with the party crasher from Denver.

  “Hi,” I uttered with equal surprise. Ryan Murray stood a few feet away from me, newly acquired Starbucks coffee in hand and looking as immaculate and polished as he did the afternoon we met. Today, he was wearing black trousers with a gray V-neck sweater.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  Overdue for a good laugh, I allowed myself to indulge in one. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

  He joined in with my laughter, although he was more reserved. “I suppose so. It’s just …” Ryan paused and stepped in closer to clear the wa
lkway for another patron. “I’m glad to run into you. I sent you an e-mail Thursday night to tell you I was coming back to Oregon, but I didn’t hear anything back. I was worried I’d overstepped my boundaries.”

  “Not at all,” I reassured him. “I’ve been on emergency leave and haven’t been checking my e-mails.”

  Ryan’s frown reflected his sincere concern. “Emergency? Is everything all right?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know yet. I hope so.”

  Ryan took the seat next to mine. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I smiled and considered my choices. “Yes and no. I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

  “You’re not. I flew in this morning and just settled in. I don’t have any appointments until this evening.”

  “Are you staying here?”

  “Yeah. You?”

  I nodded.

  “Well,” Ryan smiled back. “That sounds like fate to me.”

  I couldn’t disagree with him, and so I found myself mentioning that I was in Portland because a coworker’s daughter had been involved in a serious accident. Although I trusted Ryan enough to share more with him about my relationship with Jack and Heide, I held the information back. I held it back because I remembered how both Jack and Robert had been wary of Ryan Murray without ever speaking with him. Instead, I focused on sharing the details of Heide’s accident and all the events that had followed in its wake over the past day.

  “My God,” Ryan said after I finished my story. “That’s terrible.”

  “Do you have any children?” I asked him.

  “Not yet. Hopefully one day. I can’t imagine what a horror that is, watching your daughter fight for her life.”

  Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes and I took a long sip of my tea, hoping to halt their progress. Ryan watched me, and once I had regained my composure, he grinned with a smile that reached his eyes.

  “It’s good of you to drive to Portland to check on her. Your commitment to your coworker speaks well of you and your family’s business.”