The Immortals

by Jordanna Max Brodsky

  Stony faced, Selene pulled the huge tooth from her bag.

  “Whoa! How did you—right, right. No questions. Very cloak and dagger. Fine. Well, I have no idea if that’s the right tooth or not, but it sure looks promising. They’ve been flipping out all day.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that something besides the snake had been taken?”

  “We didn’t know until they started the complete inventory this morning. I was going to tell you, but then I heard about your little run-in with the cops. I figured you had enough on your mind. Besides, I was waiting for the security guards to scan through all the surveillance footage from Thursday night to see if they came up with anything.”

  “And did they?”

  “Oh yeah. Crazy stuff. But first, speaking of crazy, let’s return that specimen to the tusk guy before he goes any more loco. You know there’s a whole Tusk Vault in the attic? Freaky, right?” She leaned in conspiratorially. “No one ever sees the guy who runs it except at mandatory staff meetings. He hangs out up there with the teeth all day.” She wiggled her fingers in spooky delight. “Be forewarned, he might bite.”

  “Wait—I finally get to enter the Holy of Holies? I thought I was only allowed into your offices in the Anthropology Department. Otherwise I need a whole application and special permission.”

  “I think returning stolen property to the museum entitles you to a little leeway, right?” Rules had never meant a whole lot to Gabriela when justice was at stake. That was something else she and Theo had in common.

  As they sauntered through the corridors, Gabriela looped her arm around Theo’s waist and tucked her head beneath his shoulder. Theo could hear Selene’s impatient breathing behind them, but there was no use trying to hurry Gabriela. They would get there when they got there.

  “You going to be okay, chico?”

  Theo pressed a brief kiss into the mass of curls piled high on her head. “I’ll be fine. The whole ‘hunting down bad guys’ thing is actually sort of thrilling. And thanks for sticking with me, Gabi. I’m glad you don’t believe everything you read online.”

  Gabriela gave him a quick peck on the part of his chest closest to her face. “What’s up with Ms. DiSilva?” she whispered. “She’s not your type.”

  “I have a type?”

  “Brainy, short, and overly emotional. Why else would we have become friends?”

  Theo laughed, keenly aware of Selene walking behind them. He could feel her eyes on the back of his head. Gabriela was always—erroneously—convinced of her complete discretion. He had little doubt Selene could hear every word.

  “I was right about the Met robberies, by the way,” he said, trying to distract his friend from discussions of his love life. “They’re related. We think the guys who robbed both museums are the same ones who killed Helen. And now they’re gathering sacred objects for a Mystery Cult ritual.” Gabriela pulled a face. “Okay, I admit it seems a bit extreme. You’d think they’d just use a vase or a tooth that wasn’t under lock and key at one of the world’s most secure institutions.”

  “Well, no. If what you’re saying about a cult is true,” she considered, “and I assume it probably is, since you’re the most brilliant man I know—even though you sound totally nuts—the rest of it makes perfect sense.” Theo gave her a quick grateful squeeze. It didn’t hurt to be reminded that, despite Bill Webb’s disdain, he was damn good at his job. “Native Americans come to the museum all the time. We give them access to tribal artifacts and they actually perform rituals right here on site. They say the artifacts are more powerful than anything still belonging to the tribe. So, if your cult is serious, then it stands to reason they’d go to whatever lengths necessary to procure the authentic sacred objects.”

  Theo turned around to give Selene a thumbs-up. It felt good to be vindicated. Her lips twisted a little in what he assumed was acknowledgment.

  “How did Helen get mixed up in all this?” Gabriela asked.

  “We don’t know yet, but we did find out that she actually believed in the Greco-Roman gods.”

  “You mean not just like a ‘wouldn’t it be cool if…’ kind of thing?”

  “More like an ‘I should give them offerings in the secret shrine in my office’ kind of thing.”

  “Whoa! Took your theories one step too far, huh? I always knew she was a nutjob.”

  “You were berating me just yesterday for messing things up with her!”

  “That’s just ’cause I like ragging on you. You always said Helen was a little… intense. Guess you were right.”

  “Are we there yet?” Selene interrupted.

  Blithely, Gabriela started the tour. “Here’s the Mammals Department.” She waved her hand at the closed doors as they passed. “They call that room the ‘alcoholics’ because it’s filled with huge vats of animal specimens preserved in 150-proof grain alcohol. And I don’t mean just weasels and mice. I mean gorillas and giraffes. Like whole ones. Skinned. The skins, they keep in that room,” she said as they passed another door. “I mean, I think it’s all revolting, but I guess we do have a collection of Maori shrunken heads in the anthro vaults, so who’s to say?” Theo had to smile. He knew she was trying to gross out Selene, but Gabriela had no idea who she was dealing with. After hearing her description of the snake-bedecked hospital room, Theo knew Selene had nerves of steel. “Supposedly,” Gabriela went on, “they’ve got a blanket made from the skins of forty platypuses. Or would that be platypi? No idea, not my thing.”

  “Platypuses is correct,” said Theo. “If it were Latin, we’d say platypi, but it’s actually a third declension in Greek. The plural should really be platypodes, if you want to get technical—”

  “We don’t, querido.” She led them up a narrow, steep staircase to the attic floor. “Here we go, up to the really fun stuff.” The ceiling was low, the lighting dim, and the hallway exceptionally narrow and twisted. Labels on the doors read, “Hippo Room,” “Elephant Room,” “Pig Room.” Finally, they came to a small, unmarked door. “The Tusk Vault,” she whispered.

  Gabriela knocked loudly.

  No answer.

  Selene gave a frustrated snort. “He’s probably gone home. It took us long enough to get here.”

  “Patience, chica. The guy basically lives here.” Again, the loud whisper: “He’s probably just extracting himself from some elephant jaw. Goes in there to get his kicks.”

  “Sorry,” said Theo to Selene. “Gabriela gets her kicks from studying human cultures—she doesn’t get why anyone would study animals instead. She’s a bit dismissive of the natural sciences.”

  Gabriela shot him a hurt look. “I like animals. Live ones. Cute fluffy kittens. Polar bear cubs. It’s all the stuffed ones around here that give me the creeps.”

  “And the Pueblo dioramas don’t? All those topless mannequins pounding maize?”

  “At least they didn’t stuff actual corpses. Although honestly, knowing the nineteenth-century naturalists’ complete disdain for indigenous peoples, I’m surprised they didn’t. They certainly—”

  Gabriela’s diatribe was cut off by the slowly opening door.

  “Hola, Gregory.”

  The small Asian man before them blinked through his glasses. From the state of his dusty suit, he’d been crawling through closets and under cabinets all day. A lint ball clung to the scanty stubble of his chin.

  “I’ve brought you visitors. Guys, this is Dr. Gregory Kim.”

  Not budging, the researcher frowned angrily, his gaze skipping over them as it would over anything still wearing flesh. Gabriela was right, thought Theo. This guy reminds me of that kid in third grade who gave the class an hour-long lecture on whale behavior, without even asking for extra credit. Even the teacher thought he was weird. He deliberately ignored the memory of a similar lecture he himself had given in middle school on the correlation between Achilles and Han Solo. That time, the teacher had been thrilled—but his friends mocked him for the next year and a half.

  “I’m very
busy, Dr. Jimenez,” Kim said tightly. “I need to double-check each specimen shelf to make sure nothing else has been illegally procured from the collection. This is the worst possible time to allow visitors anywhere near the vault.”

  “You’re taking this very hard, Greg,” Gabriela said with a hint of wickedness in her condolatory smile. “Every tooth is like a baby to you, huh?”

  Theo was about to step in before Gabriela could torture the poor man any further, but Selene beat him to it. “We’re with law enforcement.” She pulled a faded leather wallet from her back pocket and flipped it open, flashing a tarnished badge briefly before Kim’s face.

  Gabriela leaned toward Theo, her question clear in her narrowed eyes. He silenced her with an emphatic shake of his head, trying to look unfazed. Surely impersonating a police officer was a felony. Then again, this is why I teamed up with Selene in the first place, he reminded himself. Because she’ll do the things I wouldn’t dream of.

  “Oh!” Kim’s face lit up. “Please!” He stepped aside so they could enter the small office. Theo assumed the green metal door in the far wall was the entrance to the vault itself. “Have you found them?” Kim begged.

  “Is this what you’re looking for?” Selene asked, holding out the blackened tooth to the researcher.

  “Where did you—” he began, his gloved hands reaching for it.

  “That isn’t important,” she said sternly. “You need to tell me exactly what this is.”

  Kim took the tooth reverently and brought it close to his face as if to identify it through smell alone. “Oh yes, this is either the authentic specimen or a very convincing copy.” He scurried to his desk and placed the tusk under a large magnifying glass.

  Selene crossed her arms as the researcher gently poked and prodded at the specimen. Theo wanted to tell her to be patient, but he already knew she wouldn’t listen.

  “Obviously, the catalog label has been removed. Without carbon dating, I can’t be a hundred percent certain, but preliminarily, I believe this is one of the paleodontal specimens stolen yesterday.”

  “One? You mean they took more than one tooth?” Selene snapped.

  “I told the policemen this morning—there was a pair of teeth taken from the same animal.”

  Selene cast a significant glance at Theo, who felt his heart drop. If the initiates still possessed one tooth, they’d probably have enough to complete their collection of sacred objects.

  “If you recovered this one, surely you can—” Kim began.

  “Just tell me what animal it came from,” Selene said, stepping closer to the researcher, who shrank like a small rodent at her approach.

  “Selene—” Theo began.

  She growled. Actually growled.

  Theo looked to Gabriela, who clapped a hand over her mouth, her face red with suppressed hysteria. She moved her hand enough to silently mouth, Who the hell is she? You’re not into her, are you?

  Dating Selene would be like watching a glacier: waiting for the ice to crack so you could witness the beauty and roar, but knowing it might mean an avalanche that could pummel you to death in a heartbeat. Still…

  Gabriela poked him hard in the ribs, her eyebrows rising to meet her hairline. Are you?

  If Helen had been intense, then Selene was a veritable extremist. Yet the two women embodied entirely different types of passion. While Helen clung to her lovers—both Theo and Everett—as if she couldn’t live without them, Selene clearly needed no one and nothing but a cause to fight for. Weakness just wasn’t part of her vocabulary. In fact, he suspected she might be the strongest woman he’d ever met—both in terms of her obvious physical prowess and her unshakable determination to see justice done. Yet beneath that adamantine exterior he sensed a secret emotional sensitivity. The combination was undeniably attractive. So—was he into her? He gave Gabi what he knew was an enigmatic smile, then turned back to the paleodontist.

  Kim rose to grab a thick book off a nearby shelf. “Entelodont. Known colloquially as the Extinct Giant Pig, Hell Pig, or Terminator Pig, although it’s actually more closely related to whales and hippos. Endemic to the woodlands of the northern hemisphere in the Eocene and Miocene epochs for approximately twenty million years.” He flipped to a page without consulting the index and passed the book to Theo. “But extinct for the past sixteen million or so.”

  A vicious, six-foot-tall saber-toothed hog stared from the pages, a slavering primordial monster painted in full-color detail by someone with a very vivid imagination. Gabriela peered over his shoulder. “That’s why I don’t like animals, Theodear.”

  Selene only glanced at the picture, her brow furrowed. As if she’d already known about the Hell Pig. As if she found the illustration laughably inaccurate. Stranger and stranger, Theo thought. She shows up in places she shouldn’t. Knows things no one should know. As if she’s listening to the world on a frequency a few kilohertz off from everyone else.

  “Dr. Jimenez said you have surveillance footage of the theft. Show me,” Selene said.

  “Haven’t you already seen—” Kim began.

  “Just do it.”

  Gabriela bent to Kim’s computer and brought up her e-mail, no more immune to Selene’s demands than anyone else. “Security sent it out to everyone this morning so we could see if the perp looked familiar. You ready for this?” she asked over her shoulder. “It’s going to be all over the news tonight, I bet you. YouTube’s gonna have a field day.”

  The beginning of the video looked promising. A portion of the museum’s pink granite and brown sandstone exterior. Nighttime. A man in a hooded black jacket, wearing a small backpack, appeared in the lower corner of the screen with his back to the camera, illuminated by one of the many high-powered spotlights shining on the museum’s neo-Romanesque façade. “That’s the Central Park West side of the museum,” Gabriela explained. “He already jumped the fence in order to get that close.” The shadowy figure was about six feet tall and broad in the shoulders. The man was careful not to turn his head as he knelt down beside the nearest spotlight and, as far as Theo could tell, punched it with his bare fist. The light went dark.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Theo groaned. Now they could see very little. Only a grainy silhouette slightly darker than its surroundings. The figure sprinted to the base of a large tree, jumped up, and grabbed the lowest limb. “How high is the branch of that oak?” he asked.

  “Linden tree, not oak,” Selene said immediately, with more than a hint of irritation. “I’d say at least eleven feet up.”

  Theo whistled. Gabriela shook her head smugly. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, keep watching.”

  The man began to climb the tree. Theo lost sight of him for a few moments as he moved in and out of focus among the branches. “Wait, is that… no way…” The figure had emerged on one of the topmost limbs, walking along it more swiftly and surely than a circus performer. The branch narrowed as it reached out toward the museum’s fifth floor. It sagged beneath his weight, forcing him to stop at least ten feet from the façade. “How’s he going to…”

  Gabriela shushed him angrily. The thief began to bounce up and down as if the branch were a trampoline. Just when Theo was sure it would break, the thief launched himself into the air, then landed gracefully on the wall, his hands secure in a crevice between the stones, his feet resting on a decorative ledge that couldn’t have been more than a foot wide.

  “No one noticed? No amateur video already going viral?” Theo asked.

  “First of all, it was about four in the morning. And it happened in the span of about twenty seconds. You’re watching the tape on slow mo.” Gabriela grinned at Theo’s obvious astonishment. “And you’re missing the good part,” she said with a wink.

  The thief craned his head backward, as if judging where to head next, then began to climb up the wall as easily as if it were a ladder. Except it wasn’t a ladder. It was tightly packed granite blocks with no handhold in sight. Seconds later—or milliseconds, Theo realized—he�
��d grabbed hold of a gutter pipe and pulled himself onto the steep tiled roof. Then it was only a quick run across the rooftop to a skylight. He disappeared for a few moments.

  “Let me guess,” Selene spoke up. “That’s the Snake Room.” Gabriela nodded. Then the thief emerged once more and sprinted across the roof and out of the frame. Theo cursed.

  “No worries. It switches to another camera here.” Gabriela gave Theo’s arm a reassuring pat. “Seems we’ve got the whole building under surveillance. What we don’t have is an alarm system on the attic skylights.”

  The thief crossed the roof to a large stone dormer with a small window in one end. Gabriela jabbed the screen. “This is where we are right now. The Tusk Vault.” He walked swiftly across the dormer’s roofline, grabbed a large, egg-shaped finial with both hands, and swung, feetfirst, onto the deep windowsill. Theo swore, sure he would plummet to his death, but Gabriela merely smiled. “We’ve got our own resident Spider-Man.” The man opened the window and disappeared inside the gable. A moment later, he reappeared.

  Theo whistled in admiration. “It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for.”

  “I keep the collection perfectly catalogued,” Kim said with a catch in his voice.

  “Shh, you’re missing the best part.” Gabriela waved her hands for silence.

  The hooded figure jumped off the sill, landing lightly on the sloped roof of a turret at least twenty feet away. He sidled along a ledge until he reached the corner of the main building, braced himself between the two walls, then proceeded to shimmy down until he was only two stories above the ground. Then he let go. Theo gasped, Gabriela clapped, and Selene muttered an angry “Show-off” as the man fell to the ground, did a quick somersault, backpack be damned, and leaped lightly to his feet. He dashed offscreen and the video snapped to black.

  Selene strode to the vault entrance. “Let me in.”

  Kim shook his head vigorously, inserting himself between her and the door. “The collection is in a state of extreme vulnerability at the moment. I cannot allow it to be disturbed.”