by Linda Verji
Right then, a neighbor down the hall opened his door and stepped out of his apartment. It was the Hail Mary that A.J needed. Swiftly, she raced towards the man. While he was backing away from her in fear, she slipped right past him. The moment she entered his apartment, she made a beeline for the window. She jerked it upwards so she could check out the situation below her. Thankfully, the man’s apartment was right next to the fire escape.
A.J set her foot on the windowsill ready to crawl out through the window, but before she could a female voice stopped her.
“Stop!” Rita yelled behind her. “Amara, stop!”
The mention of her name was enough to still A.J. She turned her head to face Rita.
“Please, stop.” Rita edged deeper into the room. “Just for a second. Please.”
Every instinct in A.J’s body screamed for her to keep moving. Get the hell out of here. But her limbs refused to answer that order, and she just kept watching Rita move towards her.
“You’re Amara, aren’t you?” Rita’s tone was low and soothing, as if she was talking to a jittery animal. “The one who went to prison for hitting Juano?”
A.J didn’t say anything but Rita must’ve read her answer in her eyes.
Voice still soft, Rita asked, “You’re the one who’s been leaving us the money, right?”
A.J was silent.
Rita studied her for a long moment then smiled. “Thank you.”
“You shouldn’t thank me.” A.J finally found her voice. She didn’t deserve to get any thanks. Not after how she and her crew had destroyed this family’s life. “It’s my fault that he died.”
“I know you tried to save him even-” The other woman’s breath hitched and her eyes became wet. “- even if you weren’t the one who hit him.”
How do you know I didn’t hit him? A.J wanted to ask, but she couldn’t voice the question. Mostly because an odd lump was blocking her throat and her eyes were suddenly stinging.
Rita murmured, “It’s okay. You don’t need to keep beating yourself up. We forgive you.”
We forgive you. The words echoed in the room and speared straight into A.J’s heart. The tear she didn’t even know she was holding back slipped down her cheek. Before more could come, she heaved herself out the window. She needed to get out of here.
With ease, she hopped onto the fire escape, raced down the stairs, and within minutes she was walking away from the Nolascos’ building. It was only once she reached the subway station that she took her first easy breath.
We forgive you. Rita’s words rang in her mind. They should’ve been comforting, but they left A.J only feeling guiltier. She didn’t deserve to be forgiven. And how could they even forgive her? The little good she’d done could never make up for the terrible sin that she’d been an accomplice to. If she was in their position, she didn’t know if she could be that generous. Rita and Denise were better people than she was.
Apparently, this was her day to be confronted because when she got home it was to find Lee standing outside her closed store. He was staring at the ‘for rent’ sign hanging on Warehouse 17’s display window like he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. A.J was about to turn and dart away when he turned his head and spotted her.
“A.J,” he called out. The look in his eyes said he knew she wanted to run. He stared at her until she started to move closer to him. When they were about a foot away from each other, he pointed to the sign. “What the hell is this?”
A.J glanced at the sign then back at him but didn’t say anything.
Glaring at her disbelievingly, he asked, “Are you running away?”
Yes, she was running away. To Atlanta. As per her promise to Mason, she, with the help of her friends and Ten, had cleared her store. Her pieces were currently in storage since she still hadn’t visited Atlanta. Once she found a space there for a new store, she’d be out of New York.
Instead of answering his question, she said, “Can we talk upstairs? People are watching.”
Her words were enough to make Lee turn his burning gaze away from her. A quick scan of the street revealed the curious onlookers who were watching them. His lips drawn in a thin straight line, he bit out. “Fine.”
His anger was so strong she could feel its heat burning her back as she led the way to her apartment. Without a word she opened the door and stepped in. The apartment was as empty at her store. Most of her stuff was in storage, but she’d taken some of her clothes and a few other things to Sin’s apartment where she’d be staying until she left town.
Lee took in the empty apartment with wide eyes. “You’re really moving?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“You’re really moving,” he repeated as his eyes locked with her. “Why?”
She didn’t answer.
Fresh anger flashed in his eyes and his voice was practically a growl as he asked, “Is this your way of telling me that you’re breaking up with me?”
She wanted to say yes and end this once and for all. But for some reason she couldn’t push the words through her suddenly itchy throat.
“This is because of the secret between you and my dad, isn’t it?” Lee glowered at her.
A.J didn’t say anything but her silence was answer enough.
Pushing his fingers through his hair, he released a frustrated huff. “Unbelievable! You’re so scared of me finding out whatever you’re hiding that you’d rather run away?” He stared at her like she’d lost her mind. “This is ridiculous.”
A.J wanted to run to him and drag his hand away from his hair so she could smooth his hair back down herself. She wished she could tell him how hard it was for her to leave like this. But what purpose would it serve other than to drag out the inevitable and make their parting even more painful? So she just stared at him coldly.
“I’d beg you to tell me what is going on-” Lee’s lips lifted in a lopsided smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “-but I already know you won’t tell me anything.” His eyes hardened into cold, marble-like orbs. “But trust me, Amara, I’m going for find out what it is.”
There was so much determination in his eyes that her heart jumped in alarm. She swallowed convulsively before saying. “Lee, can’t you let it go? You’ll only get hurt if you keep digging.”
His eyebrows shot upwards. “Did my father throw his mouth into yours?”
A.J winced at the imagery.
“Because you sound like you’re parroting him.” Lee’s lips thinned. “No, I won’t let it go. I’d rather get hurt then be blissfully ignorant.”
“Lee,” she pleaded, taking a step towards him.
He immediately backed away as if he didn’t want her to touch him. “You can be a coward and run away if you want. You can break up with me if you want. I won’t stop you. But you’ll regret it.” Sadness took the place of anger to shadow his eyes. “I was good for you.”
That she couldn’t deny. Lee was the only person she’d ever been so comfortable with, the only person she’d ever shared so much of herself with. He was good for her. But there was one problem with their relationship.
Her voice tinged with her own sadness, she murmured, “But I wasn’t good for you.”
“Why?” he asked. When she didn’t respond, he pleaded, “Can’t you just trust me with the truth?”
She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t that she didn’t trust him. That this situation was too complicated. That the truth wasn’t hers to tell. But the words seemed stuck in her throat, and all she could do was stare at him.
Lee pushed out a deep breath and his shoulders slumped. “Okay.”
Then without another word, he spun around, strode to the door and walked out.
Just. Like. That. He was gone.
It felt like he’d walked not just out of her apartment, but out of her life too. And it left A.J feeling like her body was suddenly too heavy for her legs to carry. She leaned against the wall then lowered herself to the floor, overwhelmed by the sudden sadness that eclipsed her. It was real
ly over with Lee.
A tear slipped down her cheek, then another and another. She buried her head in her raised knees. It had been such a long time that she’d cried that it felt like a foreign action. Still, she couldn’t help it. On and on the tears fell as misery ripped her heart apart until it felt like she was in physical pain.
When her sobs subsided, she lifted her teary gaze to take in her empty apartment. This was supposed to be the place where she could forget her past and make a new start. For a while she’d thought that it was possible. That she finally had a chance to live a normal vanilla life like everyone else. And when Lee had walked into her life, she’d thought that it was all up from there.
What a fool she’d been!
Women like her didn’t get happy endings. She was a crook, a villain. Her life wasn’t suddenly going to get easy when it’d been rotten for the last thirty-one years. Karma, that bitch, had come looking for her again. It’d snatched away her happiness before she even got a chance to finish redecorating her apartment.
With a sigh, A.J leaned her head against the wall. Nighttime found her still sitting in that corner, on the cold floor. Even though the room was now dark, she couldn’t find the energy to lift up and turn on the lights. This is what her life felt like now. Like pure darkness!
THOUGH A.J’S BUILDING was dark, Lee knew that she was still in there. Mostly because, like her, he’d been unable to leave. Once he got into his car, he couldn’t drive away. Fortunately, Mason’s store was closed for the day, which meant Lee didn’t have to deal with his father rapping on his window and demanding he come inside the store so they could talk.
What in the world was A.J thinking? Lee sat in his car, staring at her apartment. He’d waited the whole week for her to call him and confess that she’d missed him too. That she was ready to reveal whatever secrets were keeping them apart. But she hadn’t called. So he’d come himself, only to be confronted by that darn ‘for rent’ sign.
Was she kidding him?
Seriously! Was she really leaving?
Breaking up with him?
A fist closed around his lungs and his throat closed up at the thought. He was angry at her, really angry, but he sure as hell wasn’t ready to break up with her. And he certainly didn’t want her to leave.
“Ridiculous.” He laughed even as he glared at her building. It felt like if he looked hard enough he’d be able to x-ray the wall and see her. Maybe even see what was going on in that pretty head of hers because right now he was beyond confused. Was all this really over something that could be easily solved with one conversation?
Lee, this is what I’m hiding. That’s all she needed to say to him. Was it so hard? He smacked his fist against the steering wheel. If this whole situation wasn’t so annoying, it would be funny.
He puffed out an angry breath before reaching for the thick envelope on the passenger seat. He shook it then pulled out the bundle of documents inside it. The P.I he’d hired had already come up with plenty of information; information that left Lee more confused.
Though Lee had read over the documents several times, he still couldn’t come to terms with some of the stuff in there. When the P.I had dug into A.J’s past, he’d found out that she was born in Arlington.
Arlington. That cursed town that had almost given him a heart attack. Apparently, A.J lived with her mother there until she was nine years old when her mother had passed on. After that the details were a little sketchy. A.J should’ve gone to Casper immediately after her mother’s death but she hadn’t.
When the P.I had discovered that there were a few unaccounted months between her mother’s death and her arrival in New York, he’d assumed that she was in foster care. However, records of the homes she’d stayed at had disappeared off the face of the earth. Further digging had revealed that sometime during those unaccounted months, A.J had ended up in juvie, charged with kidnapping, attempted murder and arson. Interestingly, those charges had been abruptly dismissed right before A.J was sent to Casper. Why? The P.I was still digging.
Meanwhile, he’d gone scavenging in Lee’s past too. One would think that finding information on Lee would be easier given that he had a squeaky clean record. As it turned out, it wasn’t easy at all. The information about how he’d been adopted by the Marwicks was sealed tight. No one wanted to talk. Fortunately, the P.I was good at his job. He’d had dug up a few things, like that Mason and Victoria had lived in Arlington too and that Lee had come into their life when he was six. They’d moved to New York two years later.
Lee supposed he should’ve been shocked that he and his parents had never even lived in Saint Louis. But he wasn’t. It was just another lie in the sea of lies that everyone had been trying to drown him in. However, one word echoed incessantly in his thoughts…
“Arlington,” he mimed as he read through the documents.
That was the city that connected them all. Him, A.J, his parents. That was where it had all started. What had happened in that city? What had made them all leave? Then came more questions. Was he somehow involved in the events that had sent A.J to juvie? Was he an accomplice to the kidnapping or a victim?
Nah! He shook his head. There was no way he was her victim. In all his nightmares, he’d never been afraid of her, never once thought that she was out to hurt him. The one thing he was sure of was that he was involved. Furthermore, the arson charge on her record bothered him. A lot. There had been too many fires in his most recent nightmares for it to be a coincidence.
What had he and A.J done? And why was everyone so tightlipped about it? So many questions, so few answers. Hopefully, his next meeting with his investigator would answer those questions.
Lee stayed so long outside A.J’s building that somehow he fell asleep. He couldn’t have been out for long because these days he could hardly get an hour’s sleep before his nightmares intruded and forced him to wakefulness. Either way, he was woken up by a loud bang and the shattering glass.
His eyes flew open at the loud sound and he quickly sat up. Across the street, Susan’s Bakery was on fire. Flames, red and hot, were quickly devouring the building. Lee’s heart almost stopped beating when he saw the flames feverishly leap to the left side of A.J’s building.
“A.J.” He shoved his door open and rushed out of the car.
Several people had been drawn out of their buildings by the loud sound, but Lee barely noticed them as he ran towards Warehouse 17. Before he could reach the store, there was another loud bang. Lee covered his eyes to hide from the heat of the fire and the glass that flew with the explosion. A piece of flying glass embedded itself in his arm, but he was too distressed to even feel the pain.
A.J. His eyes flew upwards to her window. His distress multiplied when he saw a familiar face peaking down at the ground.
“A.J,” he yelled up at her. “I’m coming for you.”
Though the fire was on the side where the stairs that led up to her place were, Lee hurtled towards them. He didn’t get far. Someone grabbed the back of his jacket and pulled him backwards. “Lee, wait. She’s climbing out.”
What? Lee looked upwards only to see A.J deftly hopping onto the windowsill then making her way to the large pipe that ran along the building’s wall. How could he forget that his woman scaled buildings for a living? Relief bubbling within him, he raced to meet her. He came to a stop beside the pipe and waited for her to slide down it. As soon as her lower body was within his reach, he grabbed her waist and hauled her into his arms.
He wasn’t sure whether he carried her or she walked on her own, but somehow they ended up in the middle of the street, holding each other.
“Are you okay?” He stroked her face, looking for any signs of injury. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“That’s a relief.” He exhaled loudly. He had no idea what he would’ve done if she’d ended up hurt, or even worse dead. The thought itself was enough to make his blood curdle. He drew her in for a tight hug. “Thank God, y
ou’re okay.”
Around them, A.J’s neighbors swirled, many of them asking if she was okay, a few making calls to the fire department. But Lee only had eyes – and arms - for A.J. He held her tightly, unable to let her go. His desperation and the adrenalin faded as his body slowly accepted that she was okay.
After some time, he drew his face away from her hair to stare at the fire. He opened his mouth ready to ask A.J how the fire had started but his words suddenly stuck in his throat.
There were no words to explain the feeling that suddenly suffused his senses. It was like he was staring at this fire but seeing another fire. It wasn’t A.J’s store burning but rather the house in his nightmares.
And he felt dizzy, so dizzy.
Suddenly, his legs felt too weak to carry his body. He sagged against A.J.
“Lee?” Her grip on his waist tightening, she looked up at him. “Are you okay?”
But her voice sounded like it was coming from far, far away. The still rational part of him, the part that wasn’t staring at the fire, knew that he was too heavy to be sagging against her like this. He let go of her and stepped back, but a wave of dizziness hit him so hard, he had to lower himself to one knee to keep from completely collapsing.
A.J immediately rushed to his side. Her eyes filled with concern, she squatted next to him. “Are you okay?”
“Y-” he tried to speak but his mouth refused to finish the sentence. Still, he stared at the fire.
And that’s when his memories came tumbling out.
CHAPTER 22
TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO
Six-year-old Lee sat curled up in his cold corner, his thin arms wrapped around his knees. Even though it was an unpleasantly muggy night and he was wearing a sweatshirt, he still trembled like it was the middle of winter. His breath coming in shaky gasps, he stared at the door. Any moment now Reverend Bolton would walk in. He’d come for Lee.
Even though Mother knew what the reverend did whenever he came into Lee’s room, she did nothing to stop it. Lee often wondered what she did when his cries echoed in the house. Maybe she was still knitting that sweater for her dead child. The only one who’d ever tried to stop the reverend was Amara. No matter how many times Reverend Bolton shoved her to the wall or beat her with his belt, she always tried to protect Lee.