by Linda Verji
Lee wanted to cry out her name right now, but he knew it would be of no use. She wouldn’t come tonight. And it was all his fault. If only he’d been brave enough to tell the nice lady from the government everything that was going on when she’d asked him if Amara was telling the truth. If only he hadn’t been afraid that if he told the truth Reverend Bolton would kick Amara out of the house as he’d threatened. Now, they’d taken Amara away, and the reverend was still going to come and get him.
The doorknob turned slightly. With a whimper, Lee scrambled away from his corner and beneath the bed. Maybe if he hid far enough under the bed, Reverend Bolton wouldn’t find him. He tucked his face into his little hands. Maybe if he closed his eyes and didn’t see the door opening, the reverend wouldn’t see him either.
With a barely audible creak, the door opened. Trembling, Lee tucked himself closer to the wall. Another child might’ve prayed that nothing bad would happen today, he didn’t bother. If Reverend Bolton was the bridge to God as his church members always said, then Lee didn’t want to pray to the God who lived on the other side of that bridge.
Lee whimpered when he heard shuffling beside the bed. He almost screamed when he felt a hand on his arm. However, relief soon followed.
“Lee?” Amara’s voice pierced his terror. “Lee.”
Shocked, he drew his face from his hands and turned his head. The happiness that soared through him when he saw her face peeking underneath the bed was indescribable.
“Amara.” He slid out from under the bed fast and launched himself in her arms. “You came.”
“Of course I came.” She patted his back. “I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone.”
If Lee were older, he might’ve wondered how she’d escaped the custody of the social service workers who’d carted her away earlier in the day. But at his age all that mattered was that she was back.
She drew him away from the embrace, lifted him to stand then reached for his shoes. Helping him put them on, she whispered, “We have to leave.”
“To go where?” Lee asked as he watched her cross the room to grab his jacket from the closet.
“Far away.” She urged him to stretch his arms out so she could put the jacket on him.
Once he was zipped up and warm in the jacket, she took his hand in hers and led him to the open door. She pressed her finger to her lips, a silent command to remain quiet, before they stepped out of Lee’s room. The door to Reverend Bolton and Mother’s room was firmly shut, yet the sight of it was enough to send fresh fear pulsing through Lee. If he was alone, this would’ve been the point he would’ve frozen with terror. But he wasn’t alone. He had Amara.
Together they tiptoed down those stairs. Instead of heading to the front door, she guided him into the kitchen. Curiously, the back door was open. Usually that door was firmly shut, but Lee didn’t have to wonder how Amara had opened it. A few weeks ago, she’d showed him how to open doors with a hairpin.
As soon as they were out of the house, they sprinted across the backyard. Fortunately, the neighborhood was so secure that most people only had picket fences and gates that remained open through the night. The two children crossed the street.
Lee expected that they’d leave right away but Amara led him to the large oak next to the Johnsons’ house. She whispered, “Stay here.”
“Where are you going?” he cried out and grabbed her wrist when she tried to leave him.
“I’m coming back,” she soothed with a pat on his head. An odd almost angry light flashed in her eyes as she added, “I just want to make sure that they never hurt you again.”
Reluctantly, Lee let her go.
He didn’t know how long she was gone but it felt like ages. He drew out a relieved breath when she finally ran out of the house.
“Finished.” She beamed as she came to stand next to him.
Immediately, he noticed that she now smelled like… like… like… how it usually smelled when they went to the gas station. He wrinkled his nose. “You smell funny.”
“I do.” She lifted her sweatshirt to smell it. She shrugged. “Hmm.”
“Aren’t we leaving?” he asked.
“In a little while,” she said as she watched the house.
Moments later, he realized why she was watching the house so carefully, why she was waiting. Sudden flames jumped high in the kitchen.
Even though Lee could only see the fire through the window, he was close enough to see it hungrily devouring the room. He knew that they should go in there and save Reverend Bolton and Mother. But he didn’t want to. For some reason the thought of them burning in their beds brought a smile to his face. He looked up at Amara and found her glaring at fire with so much anger, he was surprised the fire didn’t explode.
As if she could feel him watching her, Amara glanced down at him. Her anger transformed into a smile. She tugged at his hand. “Let’s go.”
“Where?” he asked even as he let her lead him away.
“Away from everything.” Amara matched her strides to his shorter ones.
“But we don’t have money,” Lee pointed out.
“Come with me anyway.” Amara smiled down at him. “I’ll take care of you.”
If Lee was older, he might’ve wondered how that was possible. She was only nine years old. But for now, she was the one he trusted. The only one he trusted. He smiled and nodded.
Together, they walked away from that burning house and its monster.
CHAPTER 23
A.J had saved him, Lee realized as he slowly came back to his senses. If it wasn’t for her, he would’ve been stuck in that monstrous house for God knows how long. She’d saved him.
“Lee.” She knelt beside him, her expression filled with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Y-” he tried to speak but his mouth felt strangely cottony.
Around them, people milled. Some watching him, some consoling Susan who’d turned up to the scene of her bakery turned to ashes, some interested in the fire that was now razing A.J’s building.
When had the firemen arrived? Lee wondered as he saw them spray the building with water.
“Are you okay?” A.J drew his attention back to her.
He nodded but even as he did so, his gaze strayed back to the fire. The memories of what happened after A.J burned down the Boltons’ home were vague because he was so young back then and it was such a long time ago. Given his dreams and the P.I’s report, Lee could only assume that the authorities had eventually caught up to them and taken her away.
So this is where she’d ended up? He dragged his gaze away from the fire to study her. What a relief.
“Lee, are you okay?” A.J fussed over him.
“Mm.” He nodded even as frustration pulsed through him. It was her store on fire, yet even now, twenty-two years later, she was still the one taking care of him. He should be the one fussing over her. It should be his turn to take care of her. Instead, here he was struggling to even breathe.
With what felt like Herculean effort, he rose to his full height then cupped his palm over her cheek. “Are-” He swallowed then forced the words out. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. But you-” A.J brushed the back of her hand over his cheek. “You’re so pale. What’s the matter?”
“N- nothing,” he forced out.
A.J looked like she wanted to ask more questions. Fortunately, the fire inspector chose that moment to make his appearance beside them. “Hi, I’m told you’re the owner of the building next to the one where the fire started.”
The next few minutes were spent briefing the inspector on what they’d seen while the firefighters dealt with the fire. Like Lee, A.J had no idea when or how the fire had started. She was asleep in her apartment when a sudden explosion had woken her up. The inspector hypothesized that someone might have left the ovens or gas on in the bakery, but as of now it was just speculation.
Lee tried to concentrate on the conversation between A.J and the inspector but his mind kept wandering back to
his memories. So he was a victim of child abuse? How was he supposed to deal with that? He wanted to be strong and shrug it off saying it was something that had happened ages ago. Unfortunately, his body was acting like it’d just happened today.
After telling A.J to come in to the station the following day, the inspector left them to watch as the firefighters put out the fire. Fortunately, the bakery and Warehouse 17 bore the brunt of the fire, and none of the other buildings adjoining them suffered much damage.
As Lee held A.J in his trembling arms, he could feel her sadness hovering over them. He wished he could soothe her, tell her that her store getting burnt wasn’t the end of everything. But for some reason, he couldn’t speak. Most of his senses were still locked in the torturous memories of his past. His heart still hadn’t stopped beating a frantic tattoo as if he was still that six-year-old boy waiting in his bedroom for Reverend Bolton. Heck, Lee wasn’t even sure how he was standing given that his legs felt like jelly.
Lee had no idea who called his father, but Mason came striding towards them just as the firemen were winding up their work. As soon as A.J saw him, she quickly stepped out of Lee’s arms leaving him feeling empty, bereft and more than a little unsteady on his feet. What the hell was wrong with him?
“What happened?” His father’s shocked glance razed the charred buildings.
“Fire,” A.J said. “It started from the bakery.”
“See! This is why I always tell her to check those ovens befo-” Mason paused when his gaze landed on his son. He frowned. “Are you okay?”
Yes, Lee wanted to say, but all he could do was nod. It wasn’t enough for his father.
“You don’t look okay,” Mason said.
“I think he’s in shock.” A.J said.
Lee wanted to yell that he wasn’t in shock, that it wasn’t his store that had burnt up, that they were supposed to be worrying A.J not him, but a bout of dizziness hit him.
A.J caught his arm when he stumbled backwards. “Lee!”
“We should help him sit down,” Mason suggested, concern shadowing his eyes. Together, his father and A.J led him to the bench in front of Mason’s store.
Once there, Mason urged Lee to take in deep breaths as A.J watched worriedly. At one point, Mason even suggested that they take Lee to hospital, but Lee razed that idea with a growled ‘over my dead body’. Finally, the two decided to take him to his father’s house.
After he helped Lee into the passenger seat, Mason turned to A.J. “Are you coming with us?”
A.J hesitated for a moment as her worried gaze flickered to Lee. But she shook her head. “No, I think I’ll go spend the night at my friend’s place.”
“A.J.” Lee pushed through dry lips.
“Yeah?” She edged closer to his door.
“Come with me,” he murmured. He didn’t want to be without her tonight. Not only because he wanted to make sure she was okay, but also because he knew that he’d be okay too if she was beside him.
A.J’s gaze flickered to his father, almost as if she was waiting for his permission.
With obvious reluctance, Mason nodded. “You can come.”
Minutes later, they were on their way to Mason’s house. By the time they got there, Lee felt a little steadier on his feet. When Mason offered them food, Lee silently shook his head. He just wanted to bury himself under his covers and forget the memories that kept echoing in his mind like a bad song on replay. He led the way to his old bedroom.
His room hadn’t changed even though he hadn’t lived in the house for close to eight years. The walls were still a light gray and covered with tatty posters of his then-favorite rock-bands and ribbons for all the swimming tournaments he’d worn. His college textbooks were still stacked tidily above his desk and his bed was still covered with a marine-blue camouflage duvet to match the blue drapes.
After making sure that Lee didn’t need anything, Mason left him alone with A.J in his room. As soon as Mason closed the door behind him, Lee crawled into bed.
A.J clambered in beside him, her expression marred by a concerned frown. “What’s the matter?”
Lee didn’t say anything; he simply brought her closer to him until they were so close their breath mingled, then wrapped her tightly in his arms. A.J kissed his chin then snuggled deeper into his arms, keeping him close to her, protecting him from his monsters as she’d done twenty-two years ago.
* * *
LEE’S SLEEP WAS surprisingly free from nightmares, likely because he had A.J by him. When he woke up the next morning, he reached for her but only found an empty space beside him. Frowning, he sat up in bed. A brief glance around left him certain that she wasn’t in the room.
After washing his face, brushing his teeth and putting on a white t-shirt to complement his navy sweats, he left his room. The enticing smell of bacon and eggs met him as soon as he opened the door. Hopeful that A.J was the one making breakfast or at least eating it, he strode down the hallway. Unfortunately, he was due for disappointment. Mason was the only person in the kitchen.
The older man greeted Lee with a wide smile. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” Lee returned gruffly.
Mason moved from the cooker and reached up into the cabinet above. He waved a mug. “Coffee?”
“Yes, please.” Lee settled at the kitchen table. When his father handed him a full mug of coffee, he offered a grateful smile. “Thanks.”
“How did you sleep?” Mason asked as he went back to frying the bacon.
“Mm.” Lee offered nonchalant shrug. There was no way he was going to tell his father that he’d spent the night clinging onto A.J like she was the only lifeboat on the stormy, rough sea that was his memories. His tone blasé, he asked, “Did you send A.J out for something?”
“No.” An odd look flashed in Mason’s eyes right before he turned his back to Lee. “She went home.”
“What? Without even telling me?” Lee asked. When all his father did was nod without even turning to face him, Lee narrowed his eyes. “You sent her away, didn’t you?”
“What? Me?” Mason shot him a startled look. “Of course not.”
That startled look left Lee with the unwavering certainty that he was right. This time it was a statement rather than a question. “You sent her away.”
Mason met his son’s eyes again but didn’t deny or acknowledge the statement.
Glaring at his father, Lee demanded, “Why?”
“I- I thought you might need a bit of space after last night,” Mason explained, but the explanation rang false to Lee. As if he needed any more proof that Mason was lying, the older man’s face flushed a healthy pink right before he hastily turned back to his cooking.
Lee watched his father for a long time. He waited for him to finish making breakfast, serve and even settle opposite him. Then he drew his attention. “Dad?”
“Yeah?” Mason looked up from the forkful of scrambled eggs that he was about to shovel into his mouth.
Lee ran the tip of his finger over the handle of his mug as he stared at his father. “I had a dream last night.”
Mason immediately sat up straighter in his chair as concern flashed in his expression. “Another nightmare?”
“Something like that,” Lee offered vaguely. His intent gaze still glued to his father, he continued, “In that dream, there was a scary man. The moment the clock struck midnight, he came into my room.”
Mason’s fork dropped from his hand and his eyes widened. “Lee!”
“Sometimes, I’m all alone with that man. And sometimes there’s a little girl with me. A little girl who comes to save me.” Lee watched his shocked father as he continued coldly, “Is that girl one of our neighbors from Saint Louis too?”
“Lee!” Mason gaped at his son, panic and worry fighting for a place in his expression. A harsh breath escaped his parted lips. “You remembered.”
“Yes.” Lee offered a crooked smile that held no amusement.
“Are you okay?” His father reach
ed across the table to take his hand.
Lee immediately pulled back his hand. He wasn’t ready to make nice yet. He asked, “Is that what you were hiding from me? That I was a victim of sexual abuse.”
Mason nodded. He tried to say something but couldn’t get the words out.
“Now you can stop lying to me.” Lee sat back in his seat and folded his arms over his chest. “I want to know everything.”
“Lee, are you sure you’re ready-”
“Haven’t you lied to me enough?” Lee cut him off.
His father watched him for a long while before sighing. “Okay, what do you want to know?”
Lee asked the question that had bothered him the whole night. “Was Reverend Bolton my real father?”
“No.” Mason shook his head.
The relief that swept through Lee was indescribable. It was odd, wasn’t it? Horrible things had happened to him yet knowing that the monster who’d scarred him for life wasn’t his father was like a… a… silver lining?
Mason answered the rest of Lee’s questions honestly. Both father and son ignored the food growing cold between them as they unraveled Lee’s past. Lee had come into the Boltons’ home as a foster child after the state had pulled him from his neglectful, junky parents. The abuse had started almost immediately. A couple of months into Lee’s stay, the Boltons fostered A.J.
“So you knew about Amara?” Lee confronted his father.
“I didn’t know know of her,” Mason explained. “All your mother and I were told when we adopted you was that it was a fellow foster child who’d brought the abuse to light. We didn’t know who she was or what she even looked like. The whole department was tight-lipped about the whole situation and since you couldn’t even talk, there was no way for us to find out more.”