Ms. Anna

by Bill Lockwood

  “Besides Anna, Captain Jim here is my crew,” Captain Bob explained.

  The other man smiled and tipped his captain’s cap.

  “He used to have a boat of his own, but now he’s signed on with me.”

  “Got too close to some damn rocks, and I lost her.” Captain Jim gave a sigh.

  “We’re all from the mainland,” Captain Bob further explained. “Anna included, though she speaks Spanish like a native. We’re from the Gulf Coast, the Redneck Riviera, you know.” Captain Bob suddenly looked sad. “Anna’s mother, rest her soul, was killed in a car accident about five years or so ago.”

  “Very sad event.” Captain Jim spoke up. “Don’t make him give you the details.”

  “No, of course not,” Max said. “I’m sorry to hear…”

  “Not her fault, of course,” Captain Bob continued. “There was insurance, settlement money… I moved down here and put my daughter through college after I bought my boat.”

  “Hmm…” Max was noncommittal in his reaction.

  “Got this great boat.” Captain Bob brightened. “She’d been seized in a drug raid. Government auctioned her off, and I somehow made the highest bid. I usually win when I gamble. I considered it good luck, and I named her after my daughter.”

  “Yes, she told me,” Max said.

  Anna appeared at the table. She had three frothy mugs of draft beer on a tray for them. “I’ll join you guys in a few minutes,” she said. “I just got relieved by the night guy. I just have to cash out and get myself a coffee.”

  Captain Bob held his mug out for a toast after she left. “To the success of your visit.”

  Max and Captain Jim clicked their mugs and his.

  “Thanks,” Max said. “Anna and I have arranged to discuss all that tomorrow.” He glanced around the room and out the open window. “I don’t want to talk about that kind of thing here.”

  “Of course not.” Captain Bob smiled. He gave Max a wink. “I surely understand.”

  A momentary silence fell. Then Captain Bob spoke up again. “So Anna tells me you’re from New England?”

  “Yes, my family’s in lobsters and high-end seafood. At least they were till they decided to expand and buy the tuna plant here.”

  “Yes, unless you’re talking sushi or something, I know tuna’s not exactly high end,” Captain Bob admitted. “But New England, where you’re from, is too damn cold for me. That’s why I came to seek my fortune in commercial fishing here in Mayaguez. Yes, sir, I came for the endless summer of the Caribbean.”

  “Yes,” Max agreed. “When I worked briefly on a lobster boat, it was only in summer.”

  “Ah!” Captain Bob exclaimed. “So you are a sailor too?”

  “Somewhat. I guess I’ve got my sea legs about me, as they say.”

  “Ah.” Captain Jim pointed toward the door. “Here comes Señor Cofresí.”

  Max looked around. Cofresí, in his white suit and straw hat, had spotted them and was heading across the room toward their table.

  Introductions were made, and Cofresí sat down.

  Max frowned. “Señor Cofresí, I thought you couldn’t see me at the plant till Wednesday.”

  “Ah, yes, at the plant, but I am glad to have run into you here.” He said it as if their meeting had been a complete coincidence. “It is both our fate, perhaps.” Then he made a sweeping gesture with his hand indicating the entire room. “Here we do not discuss business with a new arrival to our island. This afternoon we can meet informally and get to know each other the way it is properly done in the Caribbean.”

  “Right,” Max said.

  “No talk of tuna any more here,” Captain Bob said. “No talk of business allowed in this bar.”

  Anna appeared at the table again. “I saw you come in,” she said to Cofresí. She set a beer down in front of the newcomer to the table.

  “Gracias, Señorita.” Cofresí smiled.

  “De nada,” Anna said. “I will join you all in a moment myself.”

  Captain Bob raised his mug. “A welcome to our visitor from New England,” he said, and they all clicked their glasses together for Max.

  “Here’s to the good hospitality I have so quickly found,” Max said, and they all clicked glasses and drank again.

  Max felt a little lightheaded from all the beer he had consumed in such a short time. He forced himself to focus on what was going on.

  Cofresí looked at Max. “So, Señor Max, they tell me you have a long ancestry in New England.”

  “My ancestors date back to even before the old whaling days. Are yours Puerto Rican?”

  “Cuban and Puerto Rican.” Cofresí shrugged. “I have heard my ancestors were all mostly pirates.”

  Both the captains laughed at that.

  Anna returned to the table and put down her backpack and her usual mug of dark Puerto Rican coffee before she pulled up a chair at the corner of the table between Max and her father.

  Captain Bob spoke as if making an announcement. “We must tell Max of our local tradition. We must play a round of poker with you to celebrate your arrival.”

  “Poker?” Max asked.

  “We just might offend the gods if we don’t,” Captain Jim warned.

  “The gods?” Max asked.

  “Gods of Santeriá and all,” Captain Jim explained. “I won’t go and name them all, but you know, you don’t want any dried chicken bones left on your doorway. And I won’t go into all the other kinds of things.”

  “But I’m staying at the Hilton,” Max objected. “You have to go through a gatehouse to get anywhere near my door.”

  “Ah, but the Hilton is here in Mayaguez, here in Puerto Rico.” Captain Jim dismissed the objection with a wave of his hand. “Max, you’re in the Caribbean now…”

  “Oh,” Max said as if he agreed. “So if I play a game of poker with you guys, I’ll be just fine?”

  “Absolutely,” Captain Bob assured him.

  “No dead chicken bones at your doorway. Works every time,” Captain Jim agreed.

  “It is our way.” Cofresí shrugged.

  Anna took a long drink from her coffee mug to keep herself from saying anything.

  “Good,” Captain Bob said. “I just happen to have a brand new deck of cards.” He pulled it from his pocket and handed it to Max to break the seal.

  Max broke the seal and put the cards on the table. Captain Jim scooped them up and started to shuffle.

  “We each draw one,” Captain Bob explained. “High card deals first.”

  “Right,” Max agreed.

  “Señorita Ana.” Cofresí spoke up. “Perhaps you will go back to your job for a moment and bring us all good rum drinks for our game.” He looked at Max and added, “That is a part of our tradition as well.”

  “Oh, no,” Max refused. “I only drink beer when I play poker for money. I want to keep my mind as sharp as I can. That’s where I draw a line. Please, no, I’ll risk a few bones in my doorway for that one.”

  Captain Bob shrugged. “Don’t say we didn’t warn you…”

  “Captain Bob,” Max said, “didn’t you tell me you usually win when you gamble? Well, I like to win too.”

  “Do you usually win too?” Captain Bob asked. “Are the gods on your side, then?”

  Max laughed. “We shall see, gentlemen. We shall see…” He reached out and drew a card off the pile Captain Jim had placed in the center of the table.

  Max drew the jack of clubs, but Cofresí flipped over the ace of spades. Those both beat the cards held by the other two men. Anna kept her mug securely in her hands and watched warily. It was obvious she wanted no part of the tradition that was going on.

  Cofresí shuffled the deck again. Then he set the cards down, and Captain Bob cut them into three piles. Cofresí gathered them up in the proper order and started to deal. “Señors, five-card draw,” he said. “Nothing wild. For the first hand, we will play this as the most basic of games.”

  Captain Jim added, “When any one of us runs o
ut of money to bet, we stop dealing hands and the game is done.”

  “Everybody ante up a thousand,” Captain Bob said.

  “A thousand?” Max said. He thought sure he had heard incorrectly, possibly due to the effects of the traffic noise, salsa music, and the beer.

  Captain Bob pulled a wad of bills from his pocket and counted off ten hundred-dollar bills.

  “Daddy…” Anna protested. She was now obviously upset.

  Captain Bob shot her a glance, and Anna set her face in a pout. But she didn’t say any more.

  “We want to win a little of that money your family has,” Captain Bob said to Max. “Relax, it will be fun.”

  “My family has a lot of money, but I don’t have that kind of money,” Max objected. “I don’t even have a thousand on me right now.”

  “We’ll give you credit,” Captain Bob said. “Call it a business expense. Your family will pay.”

  The other two men each counted off ten hundred-dollar bills and put them on the table with the money Captain Bob had put down.

  “Consider our new good friend Max has a thousand in.”

  “I know I can’t use this as a business expense,” Max objected.

  Señor Cofresí smiled. “I have dealt the cards. The game has already begun. You must at least play this one hand with us.”

  Max sighed. “Right, the chicken bones and all… Okay.” Might as well play along. They want me to find out what’s going on, after all.

  Max lifted his drink. Then he decided not to drink any more right then. I’m in deep no matter what. I’d better win this hand. These two captains can’t have all that much more money to bet. Then maybe I can get out of this crazy game.

  The men picked up their cards and looked at their hands. Max glanced around. He could tell they were all good players. Their faces were frozen. There was no way to tell if anyone was pleased with the cards he had been dealt.

  Max swallowed hard before he really looked at the five cards in his hand. He had three aces, a four, and a five.

  “I’ll open for a thousand,” Captain Bob said. He peeled another ten hundreds off his wad.

  Max figured Captain Bob must have a pretty good hand, but he didn’t have such a bad one himself. “I’m in. I’ll match your thousand,” he said.

  “I’m in, and I’ll raise you a thousand more,” Captain Jim said. He counted off the hundreds from his wad.

  Max noticed that neither of the two captains had much of a wad left. He couldn’t understand what was going on.

  “I fold,” Señor Cofresí said. He laid down his hand. Then he picked up the deck and asked, “Cards anyone?”

  Captain Bob gently knocked his fist on the table to show that he wanted none.

  Max discarded his four and five. “Two, please,” he said. He took a quick sip of beer before he looked at the two cards Cofresí had given him from the top of the deck. If he hadn’t known how important it was to keep a “poker face” Max would have presented a broad smile. He had drawn the two black kings to go with his three aces. He now had a very good hand.

  Captain Jim also discarded two cards. He was not happy with their replacements. “I’m out,” he said, and he laid down his hand.

  The bid was back to Captain Bob. “I’ll see his thousand and raise you a thousand,” he said. He pulled out his wad of bills and pulled off a hundred. Then he stopped and frowned. “Madre de Dios,” he muttered. The next nine bills he peeled off were all ones. Captain Bob flipped through the rest of the wad. There was a ten or five here and there, but the rest of the bills were all ones as well.

  “Señor Max does not want to see El Presidente Washington looking back at him from so many of those bills,” Cofresí said with a laugh.

  Captain Bob looked back at his hand. He made a face. He looked at Anna.

  “Oh, no, not my tip money,” she said angrily. “What kind of tips do you think I make here anyway?”

  “Then I’ll bet my boat.”

  “Su barco?” Señor Cofresí asked. He was totally surprised.

  “Si, mi barco,” Captain Bob said angrily. “You win, I give you my boat. I win, you give the current market value.”

  “Daddy, no,” Anna snapped. “You’ve gone mad.”

  Captain Bob looked at his daughter. “Anna’s got a brand-new business degree now. She can figure out what the value is for us.”

  “Daddy…” Anna protested again.

  Captain Bob rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

  “Estás loco.” Cofresí shrugged.

  Max looked at his hand. He took another sip of beer. Might as well. If he’s acting that crazy, he’s probably just bluffing. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll match the value of your boat and call your hand.”

  “Max, I don’t know you, but you’re crazy too,” Anna said.

  Captain Jim and Señor Cofresí laughed heartily.

  Captain Bob smiled. “The jack of diamonds has always been good to me,” he said. He laid down that card. “I always have the best luck when I draw him, and here are two of his brothers…” Captain Bob laid down the jacks of hearts and spades. “And…” he added, laying down his last two cards, “here are two threes.”

  Max’s heart skipped a beat. “A full house,” he said. “That’s a very good hand, but I have one too.” He laid down all five of his cards. “And aces and kings are higher than jacks and threes. Believe it or not, I drew those two black kings.”

  “Ay pendejo,” Captain Bob exclaimed as if he had forgotten his native tongue was English. “Mi barco está perdido.”

  “Madre de Dios,” Cofresí said. “This is not good.”

  Anna plopped down her mug and stood up. “How could you bet our boat?” she demanded. “Don’t you all see he is crazy?”

  “The jack of diamonds…” Captain Bob said. “I was dealt the jack of diamonds. I’ve never lost with the jack of diamonds before. The odds on this? I’ve never seen…” He sputtered some unintelligible words in English or maybe Spanish. Then his voice trailed off.

  “Ah,” Captain Jim said. “But Señor Max says he drew the two black kings.”

  “I did,” Max confirmed. “I had the three aces, and I drew the two black kings.”

  “I have never seen a man lose who drew the two black kings,” Captain Jim said. “Give it up, Bob. This Yankee bastard here won your boat fair and square.”

  Captain Bob drained the beer in his glass. Then he gave a long sigh of resignation. “I’ll have my abogado bring you papers in the morning.”

  “Abogado?” Max asked.

  “His lawyer,” Anna translated. “Daddy, you’re not going to make this legal, are you? You’ve got to be kidding. This was just a card game. Not a boat sale.”

  “He’s gotta give it up,” Captain Jim said. “Bob bet his boat. We all saw him do it. Max won ’er fair and square.”

  “Lo siento, Señorita,” Cofresí added, “but it is a matter of honor.”

  “I’m sorry, Anna…” Max started to apologize.

  “Señor Max.” Señor Cofresí cut him off. “We were going to take your money. We thought it would be your family’s money, not yours. But you had the highest cards.” He shrugged. “It is our fate.” He gestured to the pile of money on the table. “El dinero, el barco, the dollars, the boat, they are yours.”

  “Mi abogado mañana. I will go to my lawyer tomorrow.” Captain Bob said. “The jack of diamonds has always been good luck for me before…”

  “Give it up, Bob,” Captain Jim said. “The two black kings did you in.”

  Max reached out and started gathering the money. “Okay,” he said. He looked at Anna. She stood wide-eyed, as if still in shock. “Anna, a round of drinks for everyone,” Max said. “Can you ask the other bartender to bring us a round of rum drinks on me?”

  Ana slowly nodded her head, though her expression did not change. “Okay, sure,” she said to indicate she had heard.

  Max handed a hundred-dollar bill to Anna. “And a propina grande for
the bartender. And keep the change for you.”

  Anna slowly took the money.

  “A big tip for the bartender,” Max said in English, not sure she understood his attempt at the native language. “And the change and a good rum drink are for you.”

  “No, thanks, Max,” Anna said. “My father has given you his boat. What am I going to do?” She turned to her father. “God, Daddy, you never get things right.” She looked back at Max. “God, Max, now you’re our captain?”

  “Si, Señorita, Señor Max es capitán. Fair is fair. He won her fair and square,” Cofresí repeated. “Things have changed in a big way for both you and me now.” He turned to Max. “Señor Max, It is also our custom here that when you win a boat you become the captain, so I must talk to you now about my unexpected problem. I have hired your boat, Señorita Anna, for an important trip on Thursday night. It is a personal matter. It has nothing to do with the tuna plant. This was a separate business matter between Captain Bob and me. Now it is between you and me.”

  Max was intrigued. What a great way to find out what’s going on. He decided for sure to take their money and the boat and play along even though he still didn’t feel like he had completely grasped the fact that he had won a couple thousand dollars and a fifty-foot tuna fishing boat in a single poker hand. “I can honor that,” he said. “You can change your deal from Captain Bob to me.”

  “Good, gracias, thank you.” Cofresí smiled. “It is too late to change some of the arrangements. This trip depends heavily on the skills of Anna. She is Señorita Anna’s pilot and no other. And it would not make sense to find another boat. It is too late for such a change, I am sure.”

  “That is if I am still the pilot,” Anna cautioned. “I think that’s now up to Captain Max.” She stood firm, holding the money. She had not moved toward the bar.

  Captain Bob still looked dazed. “I always win with the jack of diamonds,” he said again, seeming unable to give up the concept. “Whose idea was this game?”

  “Yours, Daddy,” Anna snapped.