Bad Timing

by Rebecca Levene

  "Whit's the matter, hen?" Middenface asked.

  "Trying... to ... slow... them... down," the dark-haired mutant said, every word an immense effort.

  For a moment, Johnny didn't understand. Then, he saw it, the air around them suddenly filling with red-green streaks. As he watched, the streaks shortened, finally resolving into the shapes of bees, flying quickly - but no longer unnaturally quickly - through the air all around them. There were hundreds of the creatures. Johnny flinched as two flew within millimetres of his face.

  Somehow, Enigma was holding the bees with her mind. Her mutation wasn't outside her body, it was in her head: telekinetic powers stronger than Johnny had ever seen.

  Enigma's face was very pale and a thin trickle of blood leaked from her nose. "Can't hold them for long," she forced out between gritted teeth.

  Before Johnny could react, Min Qi Man went into action. The simian bounty hunter moved with an amazing fluid grace, twirling and spinning and jumping through the air almost faster than the eye could follow. In his hands he held two swords, one long, one short, which twirled and danced through the air with him, leaving a wake of light reflected from their burnished steel behind them. Everywhere the blades went, they found the bodies of the bees, slicing and dicing the creatures, dropping them in twitching lumps on the ground.

  It was beautiful, and deadly, and quite incredible. The Strontium Dogs stood and watched with awe. The Blimp - free now of her attackers thanks to Min Qi Man - straightened and stared at her saviour in wonder.

  Johnny used his blaster - the number three heat beam cartridges - to pick off a few more. But the other mutant didn't need his help and besides, if Johnny carried on shooting he was in danger of hitting Min Qi Man himself, who performed a startling triple somersault as Johnny watched, his swords flashing and chopping as he did, catching every bee in their path. Within a minute, their attackers were just a red-green pulp on the ground.

  Min Qi Man landed on his feet, resheathed his swords and - hands pressed together in front of him - executed a small bow to his fellow mutants. He didn't even seem to be breathing heavily.

  There was a moment's pause, then the Strontium Dogs let out a ragged, relieved cheer. The Blimp applauded loudly, and Middenface clapped Min Qi Man so hard on the back he nearly knocked him over.

  Only Enigma failed to join in. She was still crouched, her face twisted in agony.

  "It's okay," Johnny told her. "You can stop now."

  The dark-haired woman shook her head. She tried to speak, but nothing emerged except a pained gasp. With what looked like a supreme effort, she tried again. "Still one more..." she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

  Johnny looked up - and saw exactly what she meant.

  There was one more. But it wasn't just another bee. It was huge - as large as a cow. Larger. Its sting alone was longer than Johnny and dripping with virulent yellow venom. And it was moving towards him, faster and faster, as Enigma's power finally gave out, unable to cope with an object so large and so strong. By the time he saw it, it was only an arm's length from him.

  Johnny shouted to warn the others, raised his blaster and fired in one hyper-fast move.

  The huge creature which could only be the queen bee, was faster still, and far too close. It barrelled into Johnny, knocking his blaster from his hand. The shot went wide, searing into a tree which burst into flame as Johnny was thrown to the ground. For one frozen moment, he saw the creature poised above him, its lethal sting ready to plunge into his heart.

  His life didn't flash before his eyes. There was too much of it for that. But he had a very sudden clear memory of the father he'd disowned, that mutant-hating old monster Nelson Kreelman, and the look in his eyes when Johnny defied him for the first time. And Johnny thought: I stood up to you, I stood up for my people, and in the end that's what really matters.

  Then the vast creature disappeared, swept out of his field of vision to be crushed against a nearby tree. Its body exploded, green goo splashing out from the corpse to splatter against Johnny's chest, burning acidly where it touched.

  He looked up, to see the huge furry body of the Sloth standing over him. Clutched in one of the mutant's hands was an entire tree, one end covered in leaves and the other a tangle of brown and white roots still dripping soil. The Sloth had swatted the queen bee. Johnny, giddy with relief at his unexpected reprieve, found himself fighting not to laugh.

  "Thanks," he said gruffly.

  "Y'all are welcome," the huge mutant said. He leant down and offered a hand, pulling Johnny to his feet with casual strength. Johnny scooped up his blaster and re-holstered it, then looked round for Enigma.

  He saw that the Blimp and Min Qi Man were crouched by her side. Enigma had managed to pull herself into a sitting position, but still looked pale and very weak. The Blimp started prodding her body, searching for damage.

  Enigma irritably swatted the larger mutant's hands away. "I'm fine," she said. Then her eyes sought and held Johnny's. "Still want to leave us behind?" she asked.

  Johnny allowed himself a small tight smile. "Reckon we can probably find a use for you if you want to come along," he said.

  And then there was another rustling in the bushes. Every gun was drawn within a nanosecond of hearing it, nerves on high alert after the events of the last few minutes. Middenface was the nearest. Without a moment's hesitation he flung himself on the dark figure which pushed its way out of the foliage and wrestled it to the ground. His raised his fist, ready to smash it down into this latest threat.

  Then, simultaneously, they all recognised the newcomer. It was One-Eyed Jack. Middenface halted his fist millimetres from the other mutant's nose. "Well, nice o' ye tae join us," he said, rocking back on his heels.

  One-Eyed Jack scrambled to his feet and stared around at his fellow Strontium Dogs, his expression unreadable, his good blue eye as inscrutable as the eye which wasn't there. "Why?" he said. "Have I missed something?"

  7 / OUT OF THE WOODS

  It took them four more hours to leave the jungle behind them. It wasn't an easy journey. Vegetation sprouted minute by minute to block their path and they were constantly and uncomfortably aware of the jungle animals, unseen but everywhere around them. They'd been spared another attack and eventually the vast trees became smaller, less densely packed and the ground beneath them was beginning to show a few hints of green grass as sunlight was finally able to penetrate the canopy of leaves and nurture life on the jungle floor.

  Soon, the trees became the exception and the grass the norm. The landscape around them was no longer jungle but a tropical savannah, a huge undulating field of grass, showing swatches of silver and yellow as the wind blew across it. For the first time since they had landed on the planet, the horizon became visible. In the distance, a glittering blue expanse of water could be seen. Their path, according to the tracking devices which both One-Eyed Jack and Enigma still carried, would take them in that direction.

  It was almost beautiful. After the claustrophobia of the jungle, the huge expanse of sky above them should have been a welcome relief. But it made Middenface feel somehow too visible, like a bug pinned on a board for someone to admire. Still, it was good to be spared the endless racket of the jungle creatures. Here, the wildlife was bigger and - most welcome of all - slower. In the distance, Middenface could even make out the giant brown shapes of some sort of grazing animals drifting over the plain.

  But it was an animal nearer to him that he found more interesting. As Johnny called a halt for lunch, Middenface manoeuvred himself to sit next to the Blimp. She smiled at him as he did, a friendly twinkle in her eyes. Her blonde curls glowed gold in the midday sunlight.

  "In all the hurry, we havenae been properly introduced," Middenface said, holding out his hand as he made himself comfortable on a convenient rock. "The name's Archibald, but folks call me Middenface."

  The Blimp took his hand in one of hers. Her skin was calloused from her weapons - as all of theirs was - but smooth and dry.
"Can't see why anyone would call you that, honey," she said. "There's nothing wrong with your face from where I'm sitting."

  Middenface felt himself blushing. He dropped his eyes but couldn't keep a pleased smile from his face. "Aye, weel - I wouldnae call you a Blimp either, hen. Is there another name I can call ye, somethin' mare pretty."

  It was the Blimp's turn to blush. "My momma called me Rose," she said, "before she realised I was a mutant. After that, the names she called me weren't so nice."

  "She was a norm, ye mam, aye?" Middenface asked.

  "Sure thing," the Blimp said. "My pappa too. When I was born he disowned me and my momma, said she musta been playing around. She wanted him back, so soon as she could, she sent me to live in the Norleans ghetto. I was only five." She was silent a moment, then smiled again. "But everyone here must have the same story, or one very like."

  "Aye," said Middenface, gazing into the distance. "It's a bottle o' bells tae a bent bawbee that nae mam'll be dancin' fer joy when she finds oot her babbie's a mutie." Suddenly, his eye was caught by something, a flicker of movement a few metres in front of him. For a second, he thought he saw what it was - a young woman, dressed in simple clothes, looking straight at him. Then, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. "Did ye see that?" he asked the Blimp.

  "See what?" she asked.

  Middenface squinted, but whatever it was he had seen was definitely no longer there. "Doesnae matter," he said. "Must ha' been a trick o' the light." Shrugging it off, he began unpacking some food from his backpack, spreading out an array of dried ration packs in front of him.

  The Blimp eyed these hungrily but said nothing. Of course, he realised, she and Red had lost all their supplies in the crash. He held out one of the packs towards her. "Here, have one o' mine," he said.

  "Thanks," she said, "I knew you had a kind face." She grabbed the pack, pulled the small silver lever on the side, waited a few seconds for the food to warm and rehydrate - then emptied the entire contents into her mouth and swallowed it.

  She must have realised that Middenface was staring at her, stunned, because she gave him a sheepish grin. "Sorry," she said. "Need to build up my strength."

  Middenface grinned. "Dinnae worry aboot it. I like a lassie wi' a guid appetite." He held out another two packs towards her, which she snatched and dispatched in equally short measure. Middenface's grin widened. "Just ya wait til I've had a chance tae do some brewing. Way things are doon here, I should be able to get some hame brew ready in nae time at all. And then ye and me can ha' a party!"

  Johnny was already beginning to regret letting the members of Team X join their expedition. They might be good in a fight, but were they really worth the aggravation?

  It didn't help that Red sat to one side of them, her expression slyly amused as she watched Jo pester Johnny with endless, trivial questions.

  "So, do you think we should eat one food pack each now, or share one, or is it better to eat two to keep our strength up after the fight?" Jo was saying, peering into his eyes earnestly.

  Johnny counted to ten before replying. "I think you should make your own minds up," he said.

  "Carl always told us what to eat," Jo said in an accusing voice.

  "I'm not Carl!" Johnny snapped.

  "But you said you'd be our leader," Jo said. "What's the point of a leader who doesn't make decisions?"

  "I don't wanna be your leader. I said you could tag along, that's all."

  "But someone's got to make decisions, right? Someone's got to say when we stop, how we fight O'Blarney, that kind of thing, right?"

  "I guess," Johnny admitted grudgingly.

  Jo grinned. "In that case, how many packets of food do you think I should eat?"

  Johnny couldn't stop himself from groaning.

  Concerned, Jo put her hand on his arm. "Are you okay?" she asked.

  To one side of him, Red saw the other mutant touch Johnny and frowned. It had seemed amusing at first, but if the woman was going to distract Johnny from the job in hand, that wasn't good news for any of them.

  She continued to glare at Woman Man until a heavy thump announced the arrival of another figure beside her. It was the large, hirsute form of The Sloth.

  "Don't worry," he said morosely. "She ain't about to thieve your man."

  Red stiffened. "Johnny is not my man!" she said indignantly.

  "Really?" said The Sloth. "Oh." He looked a little sad.

  It occurred to Red that he'd been hoping that Johnny was taken and therefore not available. "After her yourself, are you?" she asked.

  The Sloth sighed. "Kinda. But there's someone else."

  "Another man?" Red asked.

  "No, another woman."

  "Right," Red said. Each to their own.

  The Sloth turned his big brown eyes on her. Up close, they looked soulful and sincere. "I love her," he said. "Always have. First time I clapped eyes on her I was all shook up - know what I mean?"

  "Yeah," Red said, her eyes wandering back to Johnny and Woman Man. "But if she can't be faithful to you, she isn't worth the trouble."

  The Sloth rested his chin on one massive furry fist. "Oh, she's faithful all right," he said. "Faithful as a hound dog. The trouble isn't her - it's him."

  Red frowned. "What, Johnny? But he's only just met her."

  The Sloth looked at her. "Why do you think she's called Woman Man?" he asked

  Red shrugged. "I don't know. Because she's as tough as a man?"

  The Sloth snorted. Red looked over at the mutant in question, hands fluttering delicately in front of her mouth at something Johnny had said. She had to admit, it didn't seem likely. "Why then?" she asked.

  The big mutant leant back on his elbows. "Just y'all keep on watching," he said.

  Ten minutes later they were on the road again, walking across the great swathe of grassland, their progress impossible to discern in that endlessly unchanging landscape. Johnny was taking point, leading the group on. To his disgust, he was still being trailed by Jo. Suddenly, he spotted a flicker of movement a little way to his left. He spun to face it, pulling his blaster from its holster.

  Jo looked at him in concern. "What's the matter?"

  He waited a moment longer, but the grass remained unblemished. Nothing disturbed its wind-swept tranquillity, no further hint of movement. Maybe it had been his imagination - there was no doubt he was twitchy. "Forget it," he told her, holstering his weapon and resuming his forward march. "Just being careful."

  Jo seemed to accept that without question. Her utter trust in Johnny should have been touching. Instead, it irritated the hell out of him. Wulf had trusted Johnny and look where it got him - dead. Now no one, not even Middenface, was allowed to rely on Johnny too much.

  But Jo continued to look at him with big, guileless eyes. "You're from New Britain, aren't you?" she said.

  "Spent some time there," he said, still looking straight ahead, scanning the horizon for possible threats. His past wasn't something he cared to talk about, even with his closest friends.

  "I'm from the Isle of Sark MPC," she said.

  Johnny, despite himself, was a little impressed. The Mutant Penal Colony of Sark was said to be a hellhole of the first order. The kind of people who got sent there were outcasts amongst outcasts, a group with a fair claim to the title Scum of the Earth. If Jo had survived a childhood there, she must be tougher than she looked. "Hear it's no picnic," he said to her, finally looking her in the eye.

  Jo shrugged. "It was my home. I learnt to get by. My mutation helped, helped me... fit in, I suppose, be whatever I needed to be, or whatever people wanted me to be."

  Johnny frowned. "So what exactly do you do? I think I've got the rest of them figured out - Enigma's telekinetic, pretty powerful too. Monkey Man's got some kind of kung fu voodoo going, Sloth's the brawn of the outfit." He eyed her thoughtfully. "I'm guessing you're not the brains. So what makes you so useful to the group?"

  Jo looked sheepish. Then, after a moment, she mumbled, "I read obje
cts."

  "What?" Johnny said.

  "I read objects," she said louder and more defiantly. "Give me anything and I can tell you exactly what it is and where it came from."

  Johnny couldn't contain a dry bark of laughter. "You must really have the criminals running scared."

  Jo scowled at him. "Carl said I'd be invaluable on missions. I could help with tracking people down and... and he said that sometimes criminals left booby traps and I'd be able to stop them because I'd know exactly what they were."

  Johnny looked at her expressionlessly. "He told you that, did he?"

  Jo was silent for a while. "I think he just felt sorry for me," she said eventually.

  She looked on the point of tears. Johnny was annoyed to realise he felt ashamed. "Well, maybe he thought you had potential," he said reluctantly.

  Jo beamed. "Do you really think so?"

  Johnny tried to sound sincere as he looked her in the eye. "We can all change, right?"

  Jo opened her mouth to reply and as she did, her face changed, distorting and stretching and growing, strange muscles bulging under the skin as it moved.

  Alarmed, Johnny grabbed her arm. "What's happening?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

  And then, in a second, it was over. The nauseating crawling motion of the other mutant's skin stopped, and the face beneath settled into a firm, steady shape.

  A different shape.

  A very male shape.

  Johnny jumped back from the newcomer, drawing his blaster and pressing the barrel hard against the man's heart. "You got two seconds to tell me what's going on," he said.

  The newcomer frowned, the expression sitting comfortably on his rugged, handsome face. "I'm Joe," he said.

  Not seeming to care about the blaster still pointed at his chest, he turned away from Johnny and resumed the march, his dark eyes darting left and right, his hand poised twitchily over his holstered weapon.

  After a second, Johnny got it. He strode after the other mutant. "You're Woman Man," he said.