Cold Bastard

by India Kells

  Zoe tried to shuffle up, but her body was stuck.

  “Help me up, Oz.”

  Lazarus got to his feet but didn’t take her outstretched hands. “Maybe you should stay seated.”

  Frowning, Zoe didn’t like the way he avoided her gaze. “Why?”

  The person on the other side of the door pounded again, this time with more force. This was not a kid. Zoe’s heart skipped, her accusing eyes on Lazarus. “You didn’t.”

  At least he had the good grace to wince. “I didn’t have a choice, he finally found out where you lived, and I was just lucky to learn about it. He wanted to barge in here without calling you first.”

  Archer. Archer Blackwood was behind her door. The thought made her panic to an unscaled level.

  “Help me up, dammit! I won’t stay seated here like a beached whale.”

  Reluctantly, he helped her up, making sure she was steady before letting go of her hands.

  Palms on her belly, as if to protect the baby and herself, Zoe wasn’t quite sure what to do. She feared that if she let him in, her impossible fantasy of a happily ever after would crash and burn, and worse, that she would hurt him like never before if he saw her like this.

  “Zoe?” Lazarus stayed close, protective, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. The pounding increased, and Lazarus went for the door, waiting for any cue from her. Nodding, Zoe took a deep breath as the door opened. Lazarus tried to block Archer, slow him down, but his voice boomed as he entered.

  “Zoe, you have to hear me out.” He entered like he owned the ground he walked on and stopped as if an invisible wall stood in his path. In a fraction of a second, strong emotions flashed on his face before his usual mask of cold and detachment took his place.

  Lost for words, Zoe had so much to say, and none of those words crossed her lips. She took a step in his direction, and pain tore at her. It was so sudden that it robbed her of breath. Warmth ran down her legs and it seemed that nature had decided on the next course of action. Willing or not.

  Archer and Lazarus were instantly on each side of her, although Archer was the one supporting most of her body. His familiar smell, the strength and aura of power surrounding her brought her back with a vengeance. Making her yearn for something so primal and deep inside her heart. But with more urgent matters at hand, that wasn’t something that took precedence.

  “Okay, guys, I’m fine. You can let go of me now.”

  Lazarus hesitated, and Archer did the exact opposite, circling her arm around her back. He let go of her elbow, though, and touched her belly with extreme gentleness and care. His eyes were fixed on it, and he pulled her t-shirt, so he could see it fully.

  “Zoe...” His voice was low, with a tremor in it, and there, she saw his mask slip off. What she saw on his face was awe, fear, caring, and an incredible amount of love and hurt. “Zoe, why?”

  The question was so complicated, complex, deep and so simple at the same time. She put her hand on the one caressing her stomach, and he looked up at her. “I thought you hated me after what I did to you. I was convinced of it. And when I learned about the baby, I feared not only would you be forced into something you didn’t want, but you’d also have to relive a very painful part of your past.”

  The look he gave her was so vulnerable, it tugged at her heart. “Zoe. I could never hate you. I understand why you did what you did, and I was pissed as hell. Nobody in my entire life had ever protected me, wanted to keep me safe. I had to fight every step of the way. I’m not used to being saved, Zoe, let alone having someone risking their life for me. It didn’t sit well with me. That’s the way I am. You can’t place yourself in a situation of danger to shield me, Zoe. I won’t allow it.”

  After such a long time, amused laughter bubbled up. “You can’t allow me to do or not do anything, Archer. If you haven’t figured that out yet, you’re in trouble.”

  A faint smile appeared on his lips and his forehead touched hers. And in that instant, with that simple connection, her world shifted, righting itself again.

  Chapter 33

  Zoe woke up to darkness and blessed silence. Something was wrong. Sitting upon the bed, she looked at the baby monitor and clicked it on and off to see if it was working. It seemed to be.

  Turning, she saw that Archer wasn’t in bed. Had baby Julia cried and she not heard her? Very unlikely. Getting out of bed, Zoe padded through the corridor and passed by Lucas’ room. The door was closed, but she could hear him snore a little. Since the end of the school year, her brother could sleep twenty out of twenty-four hours of the day. He was definitely in his teenage years and it wasn’t completely surprising. And she didn’t dare think about the amount of food he was chowing down!

  There was a soft light coming from Julia’s bedroom. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she peeked inside, and her heart swelled at the sight. Archer was in the rocking chair with only his sweatpants on, cradling his daughter in his muscled, tattooed arms, holding her bottle. Each time he looked at her tiny form, with its tuft of red hair and silver eyes, his face couldn’t be more handsome or filled with love. It was a great contrast to see this hard, cold and dangerous man be so caring, not only for Julia, but for her and Lucas.

  After the whirlwind of Julia’s birth that went amazingly well according to the doctors, because Zoe, besides managing the contractions and the pain, had to deal with three panicked men. Lucas had arrived during a contraction and went into full little brother mode, almost attacking Archer and Lazarus who were supporting her through another contraction. Fortunately, after a minute of explanations and assuring Lucas that they were friends, she was on her way to the hospital.

  The other struggle was to tell Lucas to go to the waiting room, but it was a lost battle for her. In the state the boy was, Zoe didn’t have the heart to leave him alone. So, she told Lazarus to keep an eye on him, and make sure he didn’t see the worst of it. Archer hovered by her side, as nervous and helpless as Lucas and Lazarus, to the point where one of the nurses scowled at the two adults, telling them in no uncertain words to keep it together or leave the room. Zoe would have laughed if another contraction hadn’t bent her in two. She thought it was the undeniable military tone that shook them out of their panic. Lucas stayed close and Archer held on to her hand throughout, and Zoe was incredibly grateful. Without them, she didn’t know what she would have done.

  At Julia’s first scream in the world, it was as if something in Archer changed and transformed. There was a new drive in him, a new energy, as if he’d expanded, grown taller. It was amazing to see. The slight downside was how much more controlling he became. That part, Zoe dampened quickly. She understood his need to protect, but decisions would be made by the two of them. And taking in Lucas’ opinion too. She came as a trio now. Her fears on that account hadn’t been warranted. Of course, it took some time, but Archer was willing to do anything to win Lucas’ trust. Lucas, on the other hand, took his sweet time to acknowledge him as a permanent feature in Zoe’s life, but she suspected it was more to make him pay for not being there during her pregnancy.

  The true bonding happened when Archer promised him to teach him how to drive with the Aston Martin. Great bribery that worked wonders. Each time Archer needed to go out on errands and invited Lucas to come, he took the Vanquish S. Smart man.

  One thing she didn’t win was Archer wanting them all to move back to Chicago with him. At first, she was reluctant, but he wouldn’t be swayed. Blackwood Energies was taking off and he needed to keep a close eye on it, and he would feel much safer if they were in a secured building.

  It took some time for Zoe to be swayed, especially since she liked her little New England home. Lucas was reluctant at first, but after being promised he wouldn’t have to move before the end of his school year, he became quite excited by the new opportunity. Archer had found a three-story brick building that he bought and remodeled, and they would all move into the top floor. It was on a nice street, within walking distance of the Navy Pier. He told
her that one of his brothers was living nearby with his new wife, but with the move and the baby, Zoe hadn’t had a chance to go out much. Finalizing the move with Lucas finishing his last tests and little Julia was enough to send her mad.

  Three months now. Three months since her daughter was born and Archer reappeared in her life. Love couldn’t describe the feeling inside her. It was more than she ever hoped for, to the point where her life before this wonderful, loving, infuriating, caring, selfless man was inconsequential. Her life truly started with Archer.

  Very slowly, so as not to startle him, she walked into the room and went to sit against the wall facing him. Archer’s eyes were so soft, and a little tired, but happy. She loved him happy. She loved him any way she could get him. Gently, he removed the nearly empty bottle from Julia’s sleepy mouth and transferred his daughter against the towel on his shoulder to burp.

  When she finally did, he simply held her and rocked the baby. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

  Zoe shook her head, murmuring too. “It’s the silence that woke me.”

  “Yeah, she’s pretty vocal. Just like her mom.”

  Zoe pouted. “How would you remember, we haven’t had sex in a year, smartass.”

  A carnal gleam made his silver eyes turn to molten steel. “Oh, I remember. Every time I see you, every time I kiss you, every time I touch you, every time I take myself in hand in the shower.”

  Heat pooled between her legs. She had gone for her follow-up appointment with her new doctor here in Chicago yesterday, and he had told her that if she wanted to have sex again, she was good to go. Of course, Archer didn’t know, and it seems she had the opening. Her sex drive was slowly coming back with a vengeance and she suspected it was due to Archer always parading around half naked when he was home all the time.

  “How dare you! In front of your daughter. Do you know babies are like sponges, they assimilate anything? And that will be biting you on your ass when she’s a teenager with horny males flocking all around her.”

  The look of horror made her giggle.

  “I’ll install a lock on her door tomorrow.” Softening his expression, he cradled the sleeping infant and carried her to her bassinet. “No sex for you, young lady, until you are married.”

  At this Zoe snorted. “And what does that make me, Mr. Blackwood?”

  Making sure his sleeping daughter was well covered, Archer turned, his body rippling as he moved before her. The cad knew the effect it had on her.

  “Are you asking me to make an honest woman of you?”

  Archer had made several allusions, but they never discussed the topic and Zoe wasn’t sure where she stood. It was preferable to avoid the question for now. They were trying to find their footing with each other through all the changes. Or maybe she was a little bit scared at that step for the moment. Or was she evading again?

  “I’d rather be a naughty girl with you.”

  It was subtle how his body shifted to a predator mode, just before he reined himself in, probably remembering the doctor’s orders. Back was the cool Brit when he took her hands to help her stand.

  “Come, I want to hold you in my arms before the world catches up with us.”

  Something flashed in his eyes. Worry. Zoe let him lead her to their bedroom, placing her arms around his waist. “What’s troubling you?”

  “Can we just go to bed?”

  “You know I’ll nag you until I get an answer, so why don’t we get to the point right now?”

  The low, annoyed growl didn’t phase her. He waited until they were both under the cover, with her draped over his hard body before relaxing and finally starting to speak. “I’ll up the security from now on.”

  Zoe reacted immediately and propped herself on her elbow. “What are you not telling me?”

  He tangled his hand in her red strands and caressed her nape. “I’m not hiding anything from you, my love. I had a quick chat with Oz this morning, and I was waiting to have some quiet time to talk to you about it. Julia was fussy enough and you needed sleep.”

  “It’s tomorrow now, so talk.”

  “I’m upping security because Finch is starting to stir things up again, and I won’t wait until he attacks to react.”

  “You think he’s going to retaliate?”

  “We don’t know exactly what’s on his mind. What he’s planning. That’s what worries most of us. I think you and Lucas are safe though. Making him think you can bring him down if he ever makes a move on Lucas or me, was genius. He may have no honor, but he thinks you do.”

  “What does Oz think about all that? No clue about what he’s going to do next?”

  Archer shook his head as his hand moved up and down along her spine over her t-shirt in a soothing motion.

  “He’s convinced it’s something here in Chicago. He hasn’t left the city. We’ve blocked him so far, but we need to find a way to bring him down once and for all.”

  Cupping her cheek, he kissed her brow. “What I know is I’ll do everything in my power to keep my family safe.”

  The resolve in him, the way his body tensed, Zoe believed him and prayed he would stay safe too. She couldn’t imagine her life without him now.

  Zoe needed him, craved him as much she hoped he needed her. Never again would she stay on the sidelines, never would she cower and hide. She would feed on his power and his resolve and make them hers too, as she would make him hers again. It astonished her that despite her doubts about her own body, he made her feel courageous and daring. The doubts never disappeared, but she decided not to listen to them.

  Without giving him time to react, Zoe pushed the covers aside and straddled his narrow waist. As he gaped at her, she lowered her lips to his. His taste, his warmth and the way she felt him react between her legs sent a shiver up her spine. His hands on her hips, she finally came up for air, and was glad not to be the only one breathless. Swaying her hips, she rubbed his erection through his sweatpants, over and over again. Archer tightened her waist, trying to make her stop.

  “Love, please.” There was no way to know what he was pleading for, so she lowered herself and licked his neck and murmured into his ear as he shivered.

  “I want you. The doc said I was good to go, just to go slow at first.”

  Her last word was barely out before Archer rolled her over. Zoe burst out laughing at his enthusiasm and gasped at how fast he disposed of her Superman t-shirt and panties. Now naked, Zoe hesitated. If she had body issues before having a baby, now three months after giving birth, she realized that maybe she should have waited a little longer.

  As a reflex, her hands went to cover her stretch marks while trying to pull closer to him, so he wouldn’t see anything. Maybe she should have switched the lights off. If she said she needed to go to the bathroom, maybe she could do it before he saw them. Unless he felt them with his hands.

  “Zoe. Stop it.” It took half a second for the words to register, and that Archer had caught her wrists in his hands.

  “What? I didn’t do anything.”

  “You’re over thinking this. I can hear your gears grinding.”

  Was she that transparent? “I just had a baby! I’m no longer the same, and I may never be. I’m...”

  Archer took one of her hands and pushed it inside his boxers, making her grab his erection. He was hard, hot, and throbbing under her palm. “That’s your gauge, woman. I want you. Hell, I wanted you when I saw you pregnant with our child. I have my own scars, woman. You have yours. I would never judge you for being a warrior, and for carrying my child. You are my miracle, my salvation.” His lips slid down her throat and circled her oversensitive nipple. It reacted immediately, and she begged him to be gentle. Still holding him, she began stroking his cock, feeling it pulse and jerk in her hand.

  Archer trailed lazy kisses back to her mouth and, as he kissed her senseless, he thrust into her palm. As he moaned into her mouth, his hand skimmed her hip to her thigh and moved back
up to cup her sex. It felt good, but she was battling stress even if the doctors said all was in order.

  Breathing deeply, Zoe started opening her legs, but just she felt his fingers about to deepen the caress, he removed them. Looking at him, he twisted to reach something in his nightstand. As she was about to ask, he retrieved a bottle of lubricant. Before she could ask, he dropped the bottle between them and kissed her again.

  “I’ve had time to read some of Lucas’s books. And I did my own research, and it said that lubricant is a must. For anything that we do. I’ve also researched a couple of positions that would be more comfortable for you.”

  Ever the prepared man. No wonder he was so successful in life; he thrived on control. And he cared. That made him exceptional in her eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him deeper.

  Zoe inhaled sharply when she felt his fingers skimming her sex once more, slick with lubricant this time. Opening her legs, she let him take his time touching her, helping her reacquaint herself with her body, something she didn’t know she needed.

  It was teasing, soft and maddening at the same time. The wave of desire was slow at first but increasing rapidly. In a low, sultry voice, he whispered to her how much he needed her, how hot she was and his love for her. His words were getting harsher, naughtier, even dirty. As lust rose, Zoe removed her hand from his pants and pushed them down. She needed to look at him, to have him naked beside her, to witness how hard he was for her.

  Archer raised his hips to help get rid of them, not stopping touching her the whole time. His finger circled around and evaded her when she pushed her hips into his hand. His low laugh stirred her even more. “I could enjoy you like this for the rest of the night, my Zoe. I have years of fantasies in store for you.”

  When his fingers made a swirl on her clit, she cursed. Zoe’s hand bumped into the lubricant and decided she wouldn’t be the only one suffering here. Clumsily, she squeezed a dollop into her hand and fisted Archer’s cock.