by Fiona Miers
Lizzie curtseyed and sat down opposite her friend. Her envy of Charlotte’s condition made her heart ache and she had to swallow against the unwanted tears.
“Don’t be silly. You’re splendid for seeing me at all. If you were like our mothers you would stay reclined on the chaise for the next three months.” Lizzie joked, attempting to ease her own discomfort.
Charlotte chuckled and Lizzie smiled. When was the last time that had happened?
“What brings you to visit Lizzie? Would you like a cup of tea? Or do you have something on your mind?” Charlotte asked, cocking her head to one side.
Lizzie grimaced. how did this one person know her so well? Was her heartbroken status so clearly written on her forehead?
Charlotte and Lizzie’s mothers had been childhood friends and Lizzie had seen Charlotte throughout their lives. She was a kind, fiery, splendid lady who Lizzie admired greatly.
“I’ve come to say goodbye, dear Charlotte. I’ve decided to go home for a little while.” Lizzie explained, trying her best to sound cheerful.
She was running away and that didn’t sit well with her. But she could see no other way. She’d refused Viscount Courtney on principal and now she’d lost Rupert, her heart was broken.
“But the Season isn’t even half finished, Lizzie. I thought you were hoping to remarry this year?” Charlotte asked again, her tone sounding puzzled.
“I..ahh..” Lizzie’s prepared speech stuck in her throat and she looked down at her hands clasped in her lap.
Lizzie heard the swish of silk skirts as Charlotte made her way over to her side.
“Tell me what’s happened,” Charlotte probed, sitting down next to Lizzie and sliding her hand into hers.
Heat tingled in the back of her throat and moved up into her eyes.
“It’s Rupert,” Lizzie sobbed, unable to hold back her tears anymore. She hadn’t been able to discuss this with anyone and the weight of it was hurting her.
Charlotte inhaled sharply and opened her mouth wide. “Archie,” she screamed.
Lizzie covered her ears. She’d never heard a lady scream before.
“No, no, you can’t tell him anything,” Lizzie grabbed for her friend’s hands, shocked that Charlotte would betray a confidence. Why would she be calling for her husband?
Charlotte frowned at her. “I’m sorry Lizzie, but if you want to know why Rupert has done something, or how he feels, then you have to ask someone who knows him. My husband has been friends with that scoundrel for almost twenty years and if anyone can give you an insight into Rupert Willoughby, it’s Archie.” Charlotte nodded once and finished her speech with a smug smile.
“He’s not a scoundrel,” Lizzie whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek. Even after he had literally broken her heart, she couldn’t let Charlotte say such a thing.
“You called, my dear?” said an amused voice from the doorway.
Lizzie looked up and gave Archie a watery smile. His smile was amused and not the least bit angry that he had been summoned in such a way. Lizzie didn’t think any gentleman should be subject to this sort of questioning. But Charlotte was right. Lizzie wanted answers, not only a shoulder to cry on.
Her friend was correct. The person to talk to was Archie, not Charlotte.
Archibald Turner, the future Marquis of Hunting and the current Earl of Tother inclined his head at her. Instead of running away as Lizzie expected him to do, he instructed the butler that they weren’t to be disturbed, stepped into the room and shut the door.
Charlotte’s husband was very handsome, but quite serious. He was much leaner in build compared to Rupert. His eyes were gentle and his attire that Lizzie often found overwhelming, was quite plain today. For some reason Lizzie found that comforting.
“How can I help?” Archie asked, sitting down opposite them. He showed little emotion on his face but Lizzie saw kindness in his eyes.
“Tell him,” Charlotte urged Lizzie, the command in her voice unmistakeable.
Lizzie glared at her friend. What did Charlotte expect her to say? That Rupert had given her the most incredible pleasure of her life and then ran away when things had got serious between them?
Never, she wasn’t even sure she could articulate the words. She shook her head and refused to open her mouth.
“Rupert seduced her and he’s ignoring her now.” Charlotte announced.
Lizzie’s gasped. “He didn’t seduce me.”
“But he did take you to his bed?” Charlotte prodded.
“Yes.” Lizzie whispered, although it had never been in his bed. She looked down again, hanging her head in shame.
“How often? If you don’t mind me asking.” Archie’s voice came quietly through the silence.
Lizzie sighed. If she ran away to her country estate she would never know why the man she loved had run from her, Archie was the best person to ask. But how did one guess what was in another’s heart?
How could she divulge what had happened between them the last time they were together? It would be too embarrassing.
“Three different days, several times,” Lizzie answered, heat racing up her neck and flourishing over her face like the fire crackling in the grate.
Archie cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to say, that isn’t unusual. Rupert has always shared a woman’s bed for as long as they were both agreeable and then moved on. I’m sorry.” Archie apologized, clearing his throat yet again.
He was clearly uncomfortable, shuffling on the chaise and glancing to the ground when she looked at him. However, at the behest of his wife he was doing his best to help. For this, she would love Archie and Charlotte forever.
“You don’t have to apologise. I know he’s a rake.” Lizzie whispered, picking at the white lace on her waist band.
“Then how can I help you?” Archie asked, looking between them with his eyes wide, clearly baffled as to why he had been dragged into this embarrassing conversation.
Lizzie received a sharp jab in the thigh from Charlotte and looked at her, startled.
“Ask him. If you want to know something, ask.”
Her encouraging smile gave Lizzie confidence and she blushed again as she readied herself for the conversation to come. This went against every rule that she had ever been taught about polite society. Then again, Archie and Charlotte were aristocracy. If they sanctioned such talk, could it be so bad?
“I was wondering why I scared him so much.” Lizzie explained, clenching her skirts in her hands.
“I don’t understand what you mean.” Archie asked gently again.
“Well, the first day was relatively normal. The second day he stayed over at my house and got scared because he said it felt good to wake up with me and...”
Archie’s swift intake of breath stopped her in mid-sentence.
“He stayed the night with you? Actually slept… with you?” He asked repeatedly, his eyes wide.
“Yes,” Lizzie admitted, blushing again at Archie’s direct look. Why was that so unbelievable?
“Why is that so amazing?” Charlotte asked, echoing Lizzie’s own thoughts. She was clearly confused at why Archie had stopped Lizzie at that time in her story.
Archie shuffled in his seat and cleared his throat again.
“Rupert never sleeps the night with anyone. He doesn’t want to establish any intimacy.”
Charlotte made an unladylike scoffing sound and Archie hushed her.
“Charlotte, there’s a big difference for a man between the physical bedding activity and real intimacy. That’s why most men go to brothels, because they can leave immediately afterwards. It’s what separates the whores from wives or true lovers.” Archie explained, more emotion in his voice than Lizzie had ever heard before.
“Not that you’d know,” Charlotte reminded him with a smug smile.
“Not that I’d know,” Archie returned, giving Charlotte a smile of such sweetness that Lizzie had to look away for fear of crying again. Why couldn’t Rupert love her like that?
&n
bsp; “So the fact that he spent the night with you means something, Mrs Symmons,” Archie explained quietly, articulating the words slowly as though they were a foreign language.
“Oh, it’s Lizzie,” she exclaimed, amazed that she had never given Archie leave to use her first name.
“Thank you and please call me Archie.” He smiled warmly and Lizzie smiled back.
“So, explain to me why he got so upset that morning and ran out.” Lizzie asked again, shuffling to the edge of her seat. It still didn’t make sense to her.
Archie smiled sadly. “I can’t tell you exactly why, but I know that Rupert has spent the last ten years making sure that no woman has meant anything to him. Every woman he has been with has been interchangeable.”
“He told me he wants no one else except me,” Lizzie whispered, a tear escaping her eye at the memory. She dashed it away with the back of her hand.
Archie stilled obviously, both ladies turned to look at his frozen expression. He cleared his throat and then coughed loudly.
“Then that would be a first.” He said, obviously trying not to say too much.
“And there’s one more thing, but I’m not sure I can say it.” Lizzie announced quietly, jiggling in the excitement of revelation. What she was about to say was beyond inexcusable, she couldn’t possibly.
But she was bursting with it and the news would erupt soon enough.
“You can tell us anything,” Charlotte encouraged, patting Lizzie’s knee again.
Lizzie took a deep breath, amazed she was even considering this.
“Well, last week when we were together, he made me say I was his and only his, so that I wouldn’t marry Viscount Courtney.” Lizzie confided, this was something that she knew she shouldn’t really share- but it seemed important somehow.
“Holy God,” Archie breathed, looking more shocked by the minute. He was blinking rapidly and his eyebrows had risen on his forehead.
“And there’s one more thing, but I’m very embarrassed to admit it.” Lizzie murmured. She was totally committed now, there was no holding anything back. She took a deep breath and told them. “The real reason I want to leave is because I’m afraid he won’t forgive me for what I did to him. I can’t handle seeing him with other women. It would break my heart.”
“What could you have done to him?” Charlotte asked, looking between Lizzie and Archie as though the answer could be found there.
“Well, he has always, well, not finished inside…” Lizzie trailed off, mortified, but determined to finish. She looked down at her lap, then snuck a peak at Archie.
Archie blushed but nodded in understanding.
“But last week, well, he’d said I was his and I only wanted to prove he was mine too and I wouldn’t let him pull away.” Lizzie blurted out in a rush.
Lizzie looked at her friend and found that Charlotte had her mouth hanging open. Lizzie had an overwhelming urge to laugh. To confound Lady Charlotte- future Marchioness and daughter of a Dragon Dowager Duchess, was a truly remarkable thing.
Archie stood and paced, growing more agitated and more restless with each step. He murmured to himself, flinging his hands behind him and then forward again.
Lizzie opened her mouth to speak but he held up his hand to stop her.
“Could you let me think, please.” Without waiting for a response he continued pacing.
He continued for a full minute, the longest of Lizzie’s life. Then he sat down again with exuberance.
“This is incredible,” he breathed, his eyes bright.
Lizzie looked over at Charlotte to see a rather warm expression building in her face. She obviously enjoyed seeing her husband look so excited. Even Lizzie had to admit that Archie was rather handsome when he was smiling. He should do it more often.
“Why?” Lizzie exclaimed, dragging her wandering mind back to the conversation. “Why is it incredible, and why would it cause him to run out on me?” she asked, frustrated to the extreme.
Archie laughed hysterically, then sobered quickly with practised ease.
“I apologise,” he bobbed his head in a half bow.
Lizzie waited, breath drawn.
“Rupert never does that. Ever.” He stated, letting out a breath he had been holding as well.
“All right, he doesn’t do that. Why is it such a significant issue?” Lizzie asked, still not understanding the problem.
Archie laughed again, a beautiful, rich sound.
“Rupert has a severe issue with producing illegitimate children. His brother has two and favours them over his legitimate daughters. Rupert has always done everything he can not to produce children with his mistresses.” Archie explained, still excited at this new discovery.
“I don’t think it’s going to be a problem. I didn’t conceive in eleven months of marriage,” Lizzie murmured unthinkingly, then swallowed hard.
“It only takes once,” Charlotte said, a laugh hidden in her voice.
Archie smiled again, this time giving his wife an indulgent smile and Lizzie found herself wondering how Charlotte’s marriage had started.
“So he’s upset with me because he might have sired a child?” Lizzie asked. Her brows knitting together in confusion. If that was the problem, then she was hugely disappointed in Rupert.
“No. That he even did it at all, is the problem. Rupert has always had control of his affairs and his body. He told me once that he had never even been tempted to stay inside a woman past a point. And you have to realize that you didn’t make him- he’s twice as strong as you, if he wanted to leave you, you wouldn’t have been able to stop him.” Archie explained, giving Lizzie a kind smile.
“So he wanted to stay with me?” Lizzie asked, bewildered. She had been berating herself for the past week for holding on to him. It had never occurred to her that a man like Rupert could pull away if he wanted to.
“Yes, I think he did and that, for Rupert. would be a problem.” Archie explained again, giving Charlotte a pointed look.
“I still don’t understand.” Lizzie sighed, twirling her wedding ring around her right ring finger where she had moved it when she’d come to London to re-marry.
“Rupert hates that he will one day have to marry to secure his brother’s heir. He never wanted that responsibility and has avoided love at all costs. You have surprised him and he is terrified that you are making him want things he has avoided for so long.” Archie said quietly.
It was probably the most amount of words she had ever heard the Earl say.
“So he cares about me.” Lizzie concluded quietly, speaking more to herself than anyone else.
“Yes, I think so.” Archie agreed just as softly.
“I thought he did, I didn’t know why that was so wrong.” Lizzie said, voicing the sadness she had been feeling since that day in the music room. Why was it so terrible for them to care for one another? Rupert had to marry at some stage and she wanted to marry him. Why was he running away from a relationship that would be filled with passion and mutual affection?
“It isn’t wrong, Rupert’s readjusting his whole outlook on life and that is obviously causing him problems.” Archie shrugged in resignation, accompanying a wry smile that conveyed an understanding of where Rupert was presently.
“Thank you.” Lizzie smiled, despite the fresh tears she could feel tingling in his eyes. She felt better. She didn’t understand still, but her problem was shared and therefore it had been halved.
“Now my dear, may I go back to my study?” Archie faced Charlotte, giving her a mock scowl and a bow.
“Yes and thank you, my love.” Charlotte smiled up at her husband.
Archie stepped closer to his wife and dropped his voice to a whisper.
“Are you feeling well?” He asked.
Lizzie had the feeling that if she weren’t there Archie would have touched Charlotte. He was obviously restraining himself.
Charlotte nodded, rubbing her belly happily again.
Archie’s eyes lingered on Charlotte
for a moment longer and then he bowed to them both and left the room.
“So, what exactly does all of that mean?” Lizzie asked, turning expectant eyes on Charlotte. She wanted to understand better. Perhaps Charlotte could interpret everything that Archie had said.
Charlotte chewed her lip a moment, looking puzzled.
“I think that means that Rupert cares for you.” She announced slowly.
“I thought so, but why is that so unusual?” Lizzie asked, still no closer to understanding why Rupert had such an issue caring about her.
Charlotte began laughing, and kept laughing, holding her belly on either side to contain the ripples of movement.
They both heard the front door close and turned towards it.
“Who do you think that is?” Lizzie asked.
“Doesn’t matter, the butler will turn them away,” Charlotte reassured Lizzie with a flick of her hand. Like most people of her class, Charlotte had servants milling around her since the day she was born. She trusted them to do as she asked, no questions asked.
“So why did you laugh?” Lizzie asked quietly, wondering why something that was so devastating to her could be so humorous to somebody else.
“You have to understand how I see Rupert Lizzie. He has always been the ton’s foremost rake. Handsome, charming and ruthless in his relationships. He has a permanent mistress and dallies with any woman who wants him.”
Lizzie frowned at the reminder of who Rupert was but Charlotte continued regardless.
“And now, the rake is no more. He wants you and only you and I am so happy about this.”
“But he doesn’t want me, or he wouldn’t be hiding.”
Charlotte laughed again. “Of course he does, or he wouldn’t be hiding. I give him one month to come to his senses and ask you to marry him, otherwise I will find you a husband myself.”
Charlotte grinned and Lizzie couldn’t help feeling the small flutters of hope coming to life beneath her breast. She could only hope that he did want her, because now that she had decided that it was he that she wanted, no one else would do.
Chapter 14
As though a judge were in his ear, Rupert could hear the man speaking, adjudicating his life. Here sits Lord Rupert Willoughby, heir to the Earl of Sweeting, drinking alone.