by Fiona Miers
How miserable.
“Rupert.” Archie voice greeted him moments before he sat down opposite him.
Rupert grabbed his port glass and squeezed, staring into the depths of the red liqueur. He did not want to see his perpetually happy friend. Reserved Archie may be, but his happiness radiated like a lone star at night.
He was not in the mood for any lumenescent happiness.
“Archie, you know I love you and Charlotte, but I do not want either of you to be around me today.”
“Why ever not?” Archie asked, calling for more port.
Rupert groaned and shifted irritably in his seat. Why couldn’t he just be left alone to be miserable? He should never have left his house.
“Don’t you have a pregnant wife to watch over?” Rupert asked, unable to get the image of his own hands around Charlotte’s swollen belly out of his mind. That moment had rocked the foundations of his world. A condition that he has always considered a necessary evil now took on the guise of something beautiful, sensual even.
“She has company today.” Archie said lightly, taking a sip of the golden liquor.
“Who?” Rupert looked up at his friend’s strangely smug expression, suspicion burning in his gut. Archie had not found him by accident.
“Lizzie.” Archie announced with a knowing smile, taking another small sip of his drink.
Rupert groaned and put his head down on the table with a large thud.
“Are you going to stay there?” Archie asked, amusement obvious in his jovial tones.
Yes, forever.
“Did you know that out of the four ’Spares’, John’s the only one to still be considered as such?” Archie said calmly.
‘The Spares’ was the name by which the group of their four friends had been known. They were all born the spare sons of wealthy, titled, old aristocratic families. Oliver had inherited after his brother and father had died. Archie was his father’s heir now that his older brother had died and Rupert was his brother’s heir after he had failed to produce a legitimate male heir.
Rupert groaned at the reminder, but lifted his head and thrust a lock of black hair off his forehead.
“And if John’s sister-in-law fails to produce a son, then he’ll inherit too,” Rupert laughed humourlessly. Amazing! How the mighty had fallen.
Archie nodded silently and took another sip of his port. “That is true.”
Rupert stared at his friend. Archie had obviously come to tell him something, so why didn’t he get on with it?
When his solemn friend said nothing more, Rupert clenched his fists and brought them both down onto the table in front of him, hard. There was no one else in the room and he glared openly at Archie.
“Are you going to tell me how Lizzie is, or did you bring her name up in this conversation to torture me?” Rupert asked, angrily.
Archie’s eyes narrowed, but Rupert could still see humour in them and it made his belly tighten even further.
“Well?” he repeated through clenched teeth.
“She’s well.” Archie answered with a smile.
“Well? She’s bloody well?” Rupert repeated again. How could she be well when he was confused and lost and feeling lots of other horrible emotions he had never experienced before that made him lose his appetite and lie awake in bed at night instead of sleeping?
“How else should she be?” Archie asked, cocking his head at Rupert as though he were puzzled. He looked all too knowing and that was Rupert’s problem.
Rupert shook his head, trying to clear the anger and the port fog, he’d been drinking for many hours already today. He had to focus for this conversation.
“We had a slight misunderstanding last week and I thought she may be upset with me.” Rupert admitted reluctantly. Was he really ready to talk about what had happened between him and Lizzie? Seeing at the knowing look on Archie’s face, it seemed his hand was being forced.
“I didn’t realize she was your latest mistress,” Archie said casually, flicking a piece of invisible lint off his jacket.
Rupert clenched his teeth against the overwhelming feeling to smash his fist into something.
“She isn’t.” She had never been his mistress, his lover maybe, but never his mistress, the word was too common. She wasn’t common, what Rupert felt for her wasn’t common.
“So you aren’t bedding her?” Archie asked lightly.
“I was.” Rupert admitted darkly. He hated the admission being phrased as though it was past tense. She wasn’t in the past for him and after he had all but forced her to refuse Viscount Courtney’s proposal, he hoped he wasn’t in her past either.
“So you’ve found someone to replace her?” Archie asked, a small amount of interest entering his voice.
Rupert shook his head.
“Rupert, I owe you, more than I can say, for standing by me after my brother’s death, so I have brought news for you. Lizzie was planning on going back to her estate for the rest of the season, but I believe Charlotte has talked her out of it.”
Rupert clenched his massive fists and loosened them gradually. How could that be?
“Why would she leave?” He asked quietly, staring at the table on which stood a now empty bottle of port. Had he really drunk all of that?
“I believe she is worried that you will flaunt your latest conquest in front of her, thereby breaking her heart.” Archie answered, waving his hand as though it were obvious.
“I wouldn’t do that.” Rupert said quickly. “And why would she think such a thing?” He said quietly, mostly to himself. Had he really hurt her that much by breaking off contact between them? He hadn’t meant to damage their relationship. He just needed time to think.
“She believes that she did something to upset you, not the other way around.”
Rupert swallowed painfully, speechless for one of the first times in his life. He had to know more.
“Did she tell you why?” he whispered.
Archie nodded and Rupert, who had never backed down from a fight before, dropped his head and refused to make eye contact with his friend.
How horrific! Could Lizzie really have revealed to others what had passed between them?
“What did she tell you?” he croaked, and then roughly cleared his throat. He couldn’t seem to raise his head. How was he ever going to look at Archie again?
Archie set his glass down on the table with a clunk.
“She told us that she cares about you and doesn’t want anyone else.”
Rupert swallowed another lump that had lodged in his throat and tried to speak. Nothing came out. He placed his hand on his stomach to try to calm the unsettled feeling there. He tried again. “I think I’ve messed everything up, Archie,” he admitted, the weight of his guilt terrifyingly heavy.
“I thought I had too and look where I am now?” Archie reminded him.
Rupert couldn’t help smiling at the memory of Archie lying unconscious, his head in Charlotte’s lap. No one had known what had been going on between them until Charlotte had announced her pregnancy. At that moment Archie’s future had seemed very precarious.
“So what do I do?” Rupert asked, lifting his heavy gaze to his friend.
“Do you want to marry her?”
“I don’t know,” Rupert answered honestly. The idea was foreign. When he was younger, he had believed he would never marry. Then, when he found out he had to, he had thought he would have a modern ton marriage. A marriage in which he would continue his discreet affairs and she could have hers. He had never assumed he would find a woman he actually wanted to marry.
Archie made an impatient noise and pushed himself back in his chair. “Bollocks.”
“Pardon?” Rupert asked, blinking at the base word coming out of his perfect friend’s mouth.
“You heard me. It’s really quite simple. She loves you, you care about her. You must marry for your brother’s sake at some point, and she wants a family. What’s stopping you? It seems like a simple solution.”
> Rupert blinked at how easy Archie made everything seem.
“I never really thought to marry.” He admitted honestly. His parents had a horrible marriage where they had literally led different lives and his brother’s marriage, which had started out so hopefully was now worse than his parents’ had been.
“Look Rupert, if all of us took our parents or siblings marriages as examples, none of us would marry. But look at me and Oliver. We’re making successes of ours.” Archie said gently.
Rupert thought that was a slight understatement and grinned wryly., He let out a huge sigh and let the words come that he had been locking in a box for weeks.
“And if I can’t be faithful? Or she can’t have children?” Rupert voiced his greatest fears. He did love Lizzie. But what would happen if he couldn’t be faithful, or God forbid, she cuckolded him when he was still faithful to her?
Archie made another disgusted noise. “Do you want anyone else now?”
“No,” Rupert admitted, embarrassed. He’d always had several interests at once. No one woman had ever held his interest for long. The fact that he admitted that she did, spoke volumes, he knew.
“Then why do you assume that’s going to change?” Archie demanded again.
He obviously wasn’t going to let Rupert out of this dilemma easily.
“And as far as the children part goes, that is a gamble you take with any wife. You never wanted the title, so if it passes to a distant cousin, or even your brother’s daughter, do you really care?”
Rupert heard the words, but they took a while to sink in. Was that the problem? Was he really so worried about failing as his brother had done that he would sacrifice being with the woman he truly loved?
A weight which Rupert hadn’t been aware he’d been carrying, shifted. As though shackles had been unlocked, Rupert’s entire body became lighter, happier. Why did his life have to end because of a promise he had made seven years before? If he married a woman he loved his life would only get better, not worse.
“You’re right,” Rupert said slowly, as though the idea hadn’t quite cemented in his mind yet. What was he waiting for? An Archangel to come down from heaven and hit him on the head? Lizzie wanted him and Rupert loved her. Why was he sitting here wasting time?
He stood up abruptly, swaying from fatigue and port.
Archie laughed, grabbed Rupert’s forearm and tugged him back into his seat.
“I think you need a cup of strong, black coffee, then you can see her.”
Archie smiled openly at Rupert and for one of the first times, Rupert was struck by how happy Archie really was. They, as a group, hadn’t realized the weight and responsibility Archie had always hidden behind his polish and social armour. With the weight lifted, he looked younger and indeed more handsome.
Rupert obligingly drank the coffee that was put in front of him and even ate the steak they served him. He was impatient to get to Lizzie, but talking to a woman one had grievously injured required one’s full attention. There was a possibility, after all, that there would be some grovelling involved.
Chapter 15.
Half an hour later they were both standing on Archie’s front doorstep.
“Just remember to tell her the truth,” Archie advised, before they reached the front knocker.
“Pardon?” Rupert almost shouted in panic, pulling Archie back a step.
“I know you would prefer to just propose and get on with it, but she won’t. She’ll want a full explanation and she may not forgive you straight away.”
Rupert stood dumbstruck. Was Archie serious? He had thought to just apologise, propose and get her into bed as quickly as possible. Wasn’t that how it was going to happen?
“Did you have to explain everything?” He asked, suspicious.
Archie flushed lightly, his normally pale complexion pinkening.
“Yes, but after the wedding. I was lucky,” he said, with a rather wolf-like smile, something usually associated with Rupert rather than Archie, “She had to marry me.”
And with those words ringing in his ears, Rupert followed Archie into his town house.
“Does my wife still have her guest with her?” Archie asked the butler.
“Yes, my lord. They are in the dining room, sitting down to a light luncheon. Shall I tell the housekeeper to set two more places?”
“That would be wonderful,” Archie replied without even glancing at Rupert and again Rupert found himself being dragged along behind his friend.
A waiting footman opened the dining room door and Rupert was thankful that, this being Archie’s home, they wouldn’t be introduced.
“Hello again, Lizzie,” Archie greeted Lizzie as he walked up to the end of the table where the ladies sat.
“Just set two more places here,” Archie motioned to the footman who had moved to the opposite end of the table.
Charlotte smiled at her husband and held out her hand.
“I didn’t realize you had gone out my dear,” her eyes twinkled.
Archie bowed and kissed her hand. “I wanted to go to my club and was lucky enough to find Rupert there.”
Rupert couldn’t pull his eyes away from where Lizzie sat, opposite Charlotte, looking pale and so beautiful. He had known how much he loved her, but he had forgotten how the very sight of her stopped the air in his lungs and made his body quicken.
****
Lizzie looked down into her soup and clenched her jaw tightly, tingles crawling up her spine. She had no wish to see him. Why had she not run away without telling anyone?
Archie indicated which seat Rupert should take, which was the one opposite Lizzie and next to Charlotte.
He bowed to his hostess, “Charlotte,” he greeted her, kissing her hand.
“How is my future godchild this day?” He reached out rather slowly and gently lay his hand on Charlotte’s large belly.
Lizzie choked on her tears as she watched Rupert reverently caress Charlotte’s still growing child. How often had she dreamed of carrying a baby? She had never thought Rupert would be a man to touch another man’s pregnant wife in such a way.
Lizzie could feel a sob rising in her pained throat and then the words registered as though they were being spelled out for her slowly.
“Godchild?” She repeated, noting the tears in Charlotte’s eyes as well. Perhaps it wasn’t a normal gesture for Rupert to make?
“Good afternoon, ma’am,” Rupert greeted her politely, bowing, but not making his way around the table to touch her.
“About two months ago Charlotte informed me that I was going to be the godfather to their next child. I was honoured to be told I was their choice.”
He gave her a smile that told her how happy he had been that day, but there was something else hidden in his expression. He looked calm, more so than she had ever seen him before.
“Sit down Rupert and dine with us,” Charlotte invited cheerily.
“Thank you,” he returned, sitting down calmly.
“How is little John?” Rupert asked politely, enquiring about Charlotte and Archie’s son. He was just over a year old and quite the little devil.
Charlotte laughed happily and began regaling him with tales of her offspring’s first words and the like. Lizzie’s head was spinning and the anger in her guilt swirled like stormy sea.
“Oh, thank you.” Rupert exclaimed, looking down at the dessert in front of him as it arrived.
Why was everyone acting like this was an everyday occasion? Didn’t they know how uncomfortable she was? How much she did not want to be here?
“Should I ask for some lunch for you, Rupert? Have you eaten?” Charlotte asked, obviously concerned.
“Archie and I ate at our club, thank you,” He said quietly.
She looked at him and noticed dark smudges under his eyes. Perhaps he hadn’t been eating properly? When he caught her eye he smiled at her and she dropped her eyes to her plate, stabbing at the apple tart with her fork.
Rupert reached for a glass of wate
r and Lizzie stared, sharing a concerned look with Charlotte. What was wrong with him?
“Yes?” He asked.
Charlotte just smiled and tried to hide her shock but Lizzie couldn’t hold in the words.
“Why are you drinking water? Are you ill?” She asked, truly concerned. Did he have a fever? She began to stand up to check, but his chuckle made her sit down again.
“I just thought it was a good time to start looking after myself, that’s all,” he laughed again and asked for more.
“Any particular reason?” Charlotte asked, her eyes falsely innocent.
“Yes. It’s time to marry I believe and no lady wants to marry a drunkard do they?” Rupert asked rather rhetorically. He took another sip of his water.
“Have you chosen your future wife?” Charlotte asked, grinning despite her best efforts.
Rupert nodded. “I have. I just have to ask.”
“You’re getting married?” Lizzie asked, dumbstruck. Could Rupert really be so cruel as to come here and rub her nose in the fact that he had found the person with whom he wanted to share his life? He couldn’t seem to spend a moment with her without losing his sanity, yet not even a week later he had found the woman to whom he would be tied eternally.
“Hopefully, I…”
Lizzie ran. She literally ran. She picked up her skirts and fled from the dining room. Her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking, but she needed to get away from these terrible people, now. How could they be so uncaring regarding her feelings?
She made it to the front door and reached to collect her coat and bonnet, ready to make her escape out the front door.
Rupert came charging down the hallway like a bull in pursuit and she squealed. He hefted her up onto his shoulder and she beat her fists into his back and shrieked as loud as she could.
How dare he handle her like some errant child?
He ignored her feeble attempts to free herself and turned to address the butler.
“Mrs Symmons and I need to talk privately about a misunderstanding. Is there somewhere we can have that conversation?”