In His Eyes

by Nicole Hart

  “Mmm...that’s better,” I whispered, leaning into him, and falling into step as we continued down the sidewalk that lined the neighborhood driveways.

  “Thank you for making this such a great Christmas. It was even better than I could have ever imagined. It was perfect.” I gazed up at him, the shadow of scruff on his face prominent. He was truly beautiful.

  He stopped walking and turned to face me, my heart began to pound as he placed his arms around my waist.

  “You made it perfect. I’m so thankful to have you.” I felt his voice rumble against my chest.

  Just then, I noticed a tiny snowflake land on his nose just before they began to fall all around us.

  “It’s snowing!” I squealed, it was the only thing I missed about living up north.

  “Wow. We hardly ever get snow. Especially not on Christmas.” He wiped the snowflakes that were wet on my cheek.

  “Just when I thought today couldn’t get any better.” I licked the coldness from my lips.

  “It’s like a Christmas miracle,” Joshua boomed dramatically and let out a chuckle.

  “You’re my Christmas miracle.” I stood on my toes and pressed my lips against his.

  “I love you, Ryan.” His lips still touching mine gently as he spoke quietly.

  “I love you,” I repeated and allowed his mouth to cover mine.

  “ARE YOU SURE Kate will be okay? Gracie was super fussy today. I think she might be getting an ear infection.” I rambled on, my mom guilt kicking in full force.

  “Baby, she’s fine. I promise. Aunt Kate will call us if she gets sick, it’s really okay.” Joshua put his hand over mine, that were balled into fists.

  “I know, I’m just worried. I know I shouldn’t be.” I shook my head, unsure of how women could leave their kids for any length of time. This was only a night out and I was a nervous wreck.

  “You really shouldn’t. They’re going to watch the ball drop on the big screen and drink cider and eat lots of junk food. So yeah, Gracie might get a stomach ache from sugar overload.” He pulled my left hand away from the other and pressed it to his lips.

  “Okay, you’re right. She’s fine. I really do want to enjoy tonight with you. I am excited about seeing the ball drop in downtown. I’ve never even been to Dallas.” I looked over as Joshua’s eyes concentrated on the heavy traffic ahead.

  “I mean, it’s nothing like the Times Square ball drop, but it is pretty cool. I’m guessing. I’ve never seen it in person either.” His grin was contagious and made me smile so big my cheeks hurt.

  “I’m glad we’re doing this for the first time together.” I turned in my seat just enough to stare at him comfortably.

  “This is just the beginning.” He glanced over and gave me a wink before he pulled into a crowded parking lot.

  I looked around all of the cars, searching for an empty space. There were people everywhere, already blowing noisemakers and wearing party hats.

  “Right there!” I blurted out when I saw an empty space next to a parking lot lamp.

  “That’s my girl,” he mumbled, whipping his oversized truck into the space.

  When Joshua turned off the ignition and jumped out of the truck, I wrapped my thick scarf around my neck, courtesy of Kate, thankful for the gift she handed me on our way out the door.

  Joshua opened the passenger side door and held out his hand for me to take. I hopped out of the truck and took my place next to him.

  My senses were on overload. The smell of food in the air, music and laughter filled my ears, and the cold air brushed my face. Joshua linked our fingers and led me closer to the crowd of people.

  “There are a couple of bands playing, I figured we could check them out. How’s that?”

  “That sounds great.” I smiled as he whisked me to a small stage that was set up a few yards away.

  The band began to play a few chords and it wasn’t anything I recognized. It was country, that was obvious. But that was about all I knew. Joshua tipped his baseball cap dramatically and pulled me into his arms as we began to sway to the music. There wasn’t anyone else dancing around us, but it didn’t matter.

  We moved to the music, in soft unison for the entire song and the butterflies in my stomach flailed around like crazy.

  I had never experienced romance or tenderness, and that seemed to be everything Joshua was made of.

  “You make me so happy, Ryan,” he whispered in my ear, as the slow song came to an end and a more upbeat tune began. But we remained still, wrapped in each other’s arms.

  “I know the feeling. I didn’t know men like you existed.” I pressed into him as we continued to sway to the beat of our own music.

  ***

  A couple of hours later, we were standing amid the crowd that gathered in the street. You could feel the excitement in the air.

  “Three minute countdown.” A deep voice filled the air, full of static.

  “Walk with me,” Joshua said in my ear, pulling me away from the crowd to a quieter spot.

  We were standing under Christmas lights that were still strung around a line of trees. It was quieter and so much easier to hear your own thoughts away from the noise.

  “It’s beautiful over here.” I glanced all around, taking in the sights. The Christmas lights and the tall buildings still lit up. The New Year’s ball glistening in the night sky. It was all so breathtaking. A shutter of excitement filled me when we heard the countdown begin.

  “Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five,” we whispered in unison, holding hands and facing each other. I was so thankful for this new life that I was walking into for this new year.

  “Four. Three. Two. One,” we continued, and the crowd began to scream as Joshua pressed his lips to mine, pulling me into his arms, and spinning me in a circle.

  “Happy New Year,” I whispered in his ear as he let my feet touch solid ground again.

  “Happy New Year.” He smiled and pulled away. My body almost cried out from the separation, knowing that’s where it belonged, connected to him.

  But the next moment, my heart began to pound as I watched Joshua kneel down in front of me. My hands went over my mouth, trying not to squeal and not wanting to get my hopes up, just in case this wasn’t what it looked like.

  But from the look on his face—nervous and excited all at the same time—I knew.

  “Ryan, I know this may seem like it’s too soon, but the truth is, I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. I knew the first time I saw you, that you were the one for me. God showed me in the very beginning that you were meant to be my wife. But you didn’t make it easy in the beginning.” I began to giggle as tears filled my eyes, obstructing my clear view. They began to fall, and I wanted to wipe them away, but I didn’t want to move my hands from his as he continued.

  “But I knew. My soul ached for you before I ever met you. And when I saw you for the first time, it felt like the piece that was missing my entire life was standing right in front of me. Ryan, will you marry me?” I watched as he swallowed, waiting for my answer.

  The one I knew from the beginning. The answer I tried to fight because I didn’t think I deserved someone like him. The one that didn’t think a man like him could love someone like me.

  “Yes, yes, yes!” I cried as he slid the most beautiful diamond ring on my finger. I couldn’t get a clear view of it, with all the tears falling, but I knew it was the most perfect one, because it was from Joshua.

  And he was the perfect one.

  For me.

  For us.

  Because I was worthy.

  One year later

  “I’M REALLY NERVOUS,” I admitted, standing on the side of the stage, staring at the group of women sitting in front of me. The church was crowded, women waiting in anticipation of their speaker for this month’s ladies meeting.

  Me. It was me. And my knees were shaking so bad, I was afraid I might faint.

  “You’re going to be great, honey,” Kate assured me, and placed her delicate ha
nd on my growing baby bump.

  I let out a long shaky breath and forced my feet to move forward.

  “Good evening. Thank you so much for coming tonight. As some of you know, I’m Ryan. I’m really nervous, first of all, so please ignore me if I stutter, or...ya know, pass out.” The crowd laughed, and I began to hear voices assuring me that I could do it.

  “Some of you may remember when I first came to Lakeside. I was a single mom, and I was lost. In every way. And something I haven’t really shared, but I feel it’s important to talk about. I came from an abusive marriage. It was a toxic situation, for myself and for my little girl.”

  I glanced down at the front row and saw Gracie sitting on her Mimi’s lap. A name that she decided to call Kate all on her own.

  “I had a lot of guilt for putting my little girl in such a horrible environment. When I finally had the courage to escape, I lived in a shelter. It was scary and life-saving all at the same time. And then I found Lakeside, well, my friend, Vicky, invited me.” I glanced out into the audience, finding Vicky and Madi sitting on the third row. Vicky gave me a thumbs up before I continued.

  “I felt a sense of peace when I first walked through the doors. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I felt it. And the more I came, the more I longed for this place. The more I longed to learn about Him. I found out that He loved me, no matter what I did. His love didn’t change. This is also the place where I met my husband, Joshua. It was a struggle in the beginning because I didn’t think I deserved someone like him. He was too perfect for someone like me. I was damaged goods. It took a while for me to finally accept who I was meant to be, but Joshua didn’t see me as damaged. He loved me for who he saw me as, not who I thought I was. He saw me the way our Father sees me. And I finally learned that in God’s eyes, I am worthy. In His eyes, I’m enough. So, if you are struggling with your past, even if your past was just last night, know that you are worthy too. In His eyes, you are perfectly made. And He loves you. You are worthy.”

  I pressed my hand over my belly and silently thanked Him for giving me all the things I didn’t think I deserved. He gave them to me because He loved me.

  The End

  My lovey. Thank you for being by my side all these years and believing in me. I love you. More.

  My baby loves. You inspire me in every way. Never give up on your dreams, because you deserve every single one of them. I love you both, BIG!

  Stacey- Thank you for always jumping in and being there for me. Have I told YOU how proud I am of you? You deserve all the happiness and love that’s coming your way.

  Katie- Girl! I am so thankful for you. You’re kind of brilliant, ya know?

  Nicole’s HARTbreakers- I love you guys! Thank you for always being there for me and the constant support.

  Also, I could never forget the bloggers and readers. None of this would be possible without all of you. Thank you!

  The Roughneck Series

  Love on a Dirt Road

  Back Road Chances

  Redemption Road

  Her Darkest Road

  The Hurricane

  The Corridor

  On the Rocks

  With a Twist

  Hush