In My Skin

by Shannon McKenna

  “Is that what I was doing? Huh.” She saw that smile flash again in the dimness. “You gonna stay with me?” he asked drowsily.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Good.” He drifted off again, holding her hand.

  At last, a good opportunity to just gawk. A nice, long, uninterrupted, inch-by-inch inventory of him. There was just enough light filtering in to make out the details. He was out-of-this-world hot. And built. That face. Those lips.

  The scars, too. That made her think of Naldo’s thin, scrawny chest. His scars. His tormented eyes.

  His bloody handprint on her knee.

  Then it hit her, all at once. She kept her crying quiet, so as not to disturb Luke, and felt around for a tissue box. Nothing on this side of the bed. She needed to mop herself up, but Luke was still tightly clutching her other hand.

  She gave a gentle tug. His fingers did not release her, and yet, paradoxically, she could tell that he was genuinely out. She could always tell if a person was fake-sleeping or really sleeping. Or dying. Like Naldo.

  She was so grateful that Luke was not dying and leaving her all alone in the middle of nowhere.

  Runny nose or not, she was in no hurry to let go of his big, warm hand.

  Chapter 10

  She was so damn beautiful.

  Luke lay in a state of amazed contemplation and watched her sleep.

  Air was going so much deeper into his lungs now. Muscles relaxing. That clench of constant, agonizing tension had released. Looking at her made him feel softer, more flexible. His muscles, his chest, his face.

  Just not his dick. That part of him stayed stone hard.

  This was sloppy and dangerous. He’d actually fallen asleep for a couple of hours, to his astonishment. Real, actual human sleep, not sentinel sleep. He hadn’t succeeded at that since his capture over a year ago. He’d tried so hard to achieve it, out of sheer boredom and desperation during those long empty hours alone in Braxton’s cage. He had craved unconsciousness like water in the desert. But he never got that relief.

  Not until now. Dani’s gift to him. The latest of many. And he’d only known her for a few hours.

  She was slouched against the headboard fast asleep, her long, graceful legs folded up. She’d washed her hair. Her ringlets were bouncy and wild. Floating upward. Gravity didn’t seem to even touch them.

  He needed to direct all of his energy at healing his wounds as fast as possible. Fueling his body would help, but that was too complicated right now.

  Staring at Dani triggered a power surge to his sex drive. She looked super sexy and utterly feminine wearing his boxers and T-shirt. And imagining her under the shower, naked and wet—wow. Pure octane.

  Her face was different when she was asleep. Defenses down, minus the brisk, don’t-argue-with-me attitude. Her mouth looked soft and full and pink. Sweet, pillowy lips that made him want to lean down and taste her with the tip of his tongue.

  His cock ached as he took in the sight of her round, high tits beneath the lightweight T-shirt. His gaze moved down over her rounded thighs. The baggy boxers didn’t hide much. It turned him on that his own clothing was on her warm, fragrant body.

  So his sex drive hadn’t been blasted out by torture and isolation. Just sidelined.

  He wanted so badly to touch her but instinct made him hesitate. He rested his outstretched hand on the sheet instead. Dani woke with a start, her eyes wide and panicked.

  He stayed very still. All too aware that waking up in a strange place—next to someone you barely knew—was fucking weird.

  “Don’t be scared,” he said gently.

  She laughed. Sort of. “Right. I hate to be the one to tell you this, Luke, but you are flat-out terrifying as all shit.”

  “I’m not dangerous,” he insisted.

  She sniffed. “Tell that to the dead people all over my house.”

  He dismissed her comment with a shrug. “They were trying to kill you.”

  “Uh-huh.” She was examining his bandages without touching them, murmuring to herself. “Good. Looks like the bleeding’s stopped. I’ll change those in a bit.”

  Then Dani looked straight into his eyes. Her searching gaze was so intense, he almost blinked first.

  It occurred to him that until he met her, he hadn’t looked anyone directly in the eyes since…well, since before. That great, blank space in his mind. Before.

  He struggled to just hold her gaze. Like a normal person, not a burned-out freak.

  “How did you know they were going to come after me?” she demanded. “And why did you want to be a hero?”

  The silence was heavy between them. She held up her hand with a short, harsh sigh. “Right,” she said. “Later, huh? I’m getting a little tired of the word.”

  “No,” he said. “Not later. Now?”

  Her eyes widened. “For real?”

  “Yeah. I owe you an explanation.”

  Dani straightened up. “Then start with the thing that came out of Naldo’s chest.”

  “Yes,” he said. “Let me get a laptop. I’ll pull up the schematics.”

  “Lucky me. I can hardly wait.” She made a face at him. “But it sounds like I’m going to. Again.”

  He wished he could just pull her close to him, but it would scare her to death. “I just want you to know that you can relax here,” he offered carefully. “You’re safe.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Safe, my ass,” she muttered. “I’ll never feel safe again.”

  You damn well will. The thought took hold in his head.

  He needed a mission. Making Dani feel safe would do just fine. It was something important, and it went beyond just chasing the memories of his former life like a dog chasing a fucking car.

  “Up here, you are,” he said. “Want to see outside?”

  “Sure.”

  He got up and went to the window, barely limping anymore. The rapid-healing that had been vectored into his genes had done its thing. Being a bioengineered freak had its occasional upsides.

  He looked around the edge of the blind before raising it. Nothing out of the ordinary out there. Same trees, same mountains. A sliver of morning sunlight warmed the side of his face. “Come here,” he said.

  “You should stay in bed.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed, frowning anxiously at his bandaged side. “That could be infected.”

  “I seriously doubt it.” He wished he could put her mind at ease and get that worried look out of her eyes, but this was definitely not the time to explain about his turbocharged immunity to pathogens, toxins, and radiation.

  She got up and joined him at the window. “I really can’t state this strongly enough,” she said. “You should get yourself checked out at a hospital, Luke. Just to be safe. That wound was deep.” She reached out and touched his forehead.

  Her touch felt so damn good, he felt his face heat, which was going to give her the wrong idea. “I’m fine,” he assured her. “No internal bleeding. No inflammation.” He did a quick body scan with ASP to make sure he wasn’t lying, but it was all true.

  She looked disapproving. “No way you can know that for sure.”

  “I’m sure.” He reached down to the bandage, dug his nails under the tape and ripped it off.

  Dani looked alarmed. “Luke! What the hell?”

  “It really is OK,” he assured her. “Look. All closed up.” He turned that side toward the light pouring in the window. She leaned down to take a look—and went still.

  Damn. His intention had been to reassure her, not to creep her out even more. Nurses knew how long it could take for a wound to heal. And his had healed completely in just a few hours.

  She stared at it, utterly shocked. “That…that’s not possible,” she whispered.

  He pulled the other bandage off his shoulder where the bullet wound was, because what t
he hell, at this point. “This one too,” he said. “All good.”

  She straightened up to examine the former hole in his shoulder, now a well-knitted scar. A mystified frown between her straight black eyebrows. “I don’t understand,” she said. “How on earth…” Her voice trailed off.

  “I just heal really fast.” He figured he’d wait on the details of Braxton’s original gene cocktail, the one for enhanced muscle fiber, toughened bones, pain resistance.

  That and fast healing was what got him through all the cutting and sawing the researchers had done.

  “Luke,” she said. “That’s not fast healing. That’s not…human.”

  He shrugged, flexing and stretching the arm. “It’s just how I roll. I promise, I’m human. Mostly.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Mostly? What do you mean?”

  “What do you think I mean?” A cheap evasion, but he was still fishing for a good place to start, and too many impossible truths at once might make her run away screaming.

  He’d hoped that the impossible truths could wait until after she’d eaten, and maybe had some coffee. One thing at a time.

  “How about we start with the demon Porsche,” she said. “It was you driving, right? You drove that thing yourself, eyes closed, half-conscious and not moving a goddamn muscle. Is that what you mean by mostly human?”

  She had him pinned with that accusing look. “I can explain,” he told her.

  “You’d better. And include the following bullet points. Who are you, how do you do this science fiction stuff, what do you have to do with Naldo, and what the fuck do you want with me?”

  He took a moment. “OK,” he said carefully. “Point one. I’m Luke, like I told you. The quick healing and the remote driving are just—”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself. Luke who? From where? Who does what with his time? This ‘Just Luke’ bullshit won’t cut it.”

  He hesitated. “Can we save that part for last?”

  The question clearly infuriated her.

  “Do not jerk me around, J.L.,” she warned. “Just answer the goddamn question!”

  He lifted his hands, and let them drop. “I can’t,” he admitted. “Because I don’t know.”

  Dani’s eyes were full of angry confusion. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

  He shook his head. “Literally, exactly what I said. I don’t know who I am. Or where I’m from. Or what I did there.”

  “So…you’ve got some kind of amnesia? Is that what you’re telling me?”

  “Something like that.”

  “OK,” she murmured thoughtfully. “Then…never mind. Just tell me how Naldo was mixed up in it.”

  He exhaled slowly, organizing his thoughts. “Naldo and I have something in common,” he said. “You saw the scars on his chest.”

  She nodded. “Like yours. Except that you seem to have more.”

  “Right. When I was a teenager, I lived on the streets. I got swept up into an illegal research program funded by Obsidian, a super-secret international organization. They wanted to create supersoldiers, and evade government regulations on scientific experiments. So they did human testing in secret. Quick and dirty. Runaways like me got lured in. No one was looking for us and Obsidian was cool with that.”

  Dani’s face was unreadable. “Go on,” she said.

  “They did all kinds of stuff to me. Gene splicing, brain stimulation, implants that ramped up my sensory and data processing capacities, you name it. Combat, technokinesis—”

  “What’s that?”

  “When you can interface directly with a machine. Brain to computer.”

  “Like the car.”

  “Yeah, among other things. Anyhow, one of the researchers who worked on me—Braxton—was a total psycho. Eventually, even Obsidian decided he was a liability and sidelined him. At which point, he started a rival supersoldier lab in Asia. Called it Manticore.”

  Her eyes flashed. “Naldo mentioned something called Manticore. He said to watch out for them.”

  “Fill me in. Was Naldo an orphan? Nobody to look for him if he disappeared?”

  “No one but me,” she said.

  “Was he bright?”

  “Brilliant,” she said. “Smartest kid I ever met.”

  “So he was perfect for Braxton,” Luke said. “The guy was like a shark. Always cruising for smart, angry orphans and runaways. Naldo got caught in Braxton’s net, just like me, and got turned into a Manticore operative.”

  She bit her full lower lip, her gaze intent. “How did you escape?”

  “I don’t know,” Luke said. “I know that I was out of there for several years, but I don’t remember where I was, or with who. All that stuff is gone. Then I got recaptured, but I don’t remember how. And Braxton found me again. I was imprisoned for over a year.”

  “Were you abused? Beaten?” Her eyes traveled slowly over his face and down over his chest, taking stock of various scars, new and old.

  The blunt question didn’t bother him. She worked in a hospital, she saw plenty of evil shit. “Yeah. But I brain blocked myself. I had lots of time to set it up. I was real specific.”

  “Brain blocked?” Her eyebrows went up. “What’s that?”

  “Braxton was going to peel me open,” he explained. “Force me to reveal my people. Whoever and wherever they are. I no longer know.”

  “Got it. So you blocked out specific memories of these people to protect them. And now you can’t get those memories back.”

  “Pretty much,” he said. “Braxton used selective memory block techniques to make his slave soldiers obedient. That was what gave me the idea. Took me a while, but I figured out how to use it against him. I blocked access to essentially everything in my life that I gave a shit about. They could drug or torture me, and I couldn’t tell. I no longer knew.”

  “Hmmm,” she murmured. “I see. And yeah, that happens. But I never heard it described like that.”

  Was she just humoring him? Hard to tell. Luke said a silent fuck it and kept talking. It was a relief to finally say this stuff to someone. So what if she thought he was crazy. He knew he wasn’t. At least, not yet.

  “Go on,” she urged. “How did you do it?”

  “I built virtual walls, then ran a lot of energy through them, like an electric fence,” he explained. “I targeted memories with a particular emotional charge. Anything intimate, I just walled it off. It’s hard to explain if you’ve never done deep stim. Does that make sense to you?”

  Dani was silent for a moment, and then seemed to shake herself out of a trance. “Yes, actually,” she said. “I’m beginning to think it’s happening to me. Where are we, anyhow? What is this place?”

  “You’re about thirty miles out of a place called Barrett,” he said. “You’re still in California.”

  “And this place is yours?”

  “Rented,” he said.

  “With all those junker cars parked out front?”

  “They belong to my landlord. His dad died a couple months ago, left him the property and the junkers. I didn’t care. I just needed a place, fast.”

  “Because you were on the run,” she murmured. “Like Naldo. Now tell me about that thing in his chest.”

  He fished the metal capsule out of his pocket. “This has Manticore info on it about a shipment of hardware to augment their newest generation of supersoldiers. Naldo was a courier for them. I tried to intercept his run, but he was fighting his programming. He cut loose of them before I got to him, and ran right to you. That’s hard to do. Almost impossible. Your friend was seriously bad-ass to have made it as far as he did. A slave soldier pays with everything he’s got when he resists those motherfuckers and what they did to him.”

  Pain flashed across her face. “Sounds like Naldo.”

  “I’m not sure why he came to you,” Luke went
on. “Judging from the kind of people who attacked you at your house, the buyer Naldo was scheduled to meet must have been an Obsidian agent. They want to shut Manticore down, of course. They don’t tolerate any competition.”

  “Tell me how you know this.” Her voice was low, but it still had a challenging ring. “Since you say you were locked up all that time.”

  “I did some data-diving in Braxton’s archives,” Luke said. “I know everything he knew. Or at least everything that he documented online.”

  Dani reached for the metal capsule. Luke let her twitch it out of his fingers but he kept his eyes locked on it. She examined it, frowning. “Why do you want this?”

  He hesitated, embarrassed. His plan was going to sound farfetched and unrealistic. More wishful thinking than anything else. But it was the only plan he had.

  He owed her the truth. He gently took the capsule back, gripping it in his fist.

  “The shipment includes an instrument to remove memory blocks,” he said. “It’s a type of probe that jacks into a slave soldier’s cranial ports and then emits a certain frequency that dissolves the blocks.”

  Dani kept waiting, like she thought there should be more, so he kept talking.

  “I want to use it on myself,” he said. “I want to get my life back.”

  She nodded. “Fair enough. So why take me with you?”

  “You’re the only contact point Obsidian has,” he said. “They don’t have data on me, just you. They would have questioned you hard and then just killed you.”

  “What do you care?” she asked. “You didn’t know me. You still don’t. What’s a little more blood in this great big sea of blood?”

  “I won’t let them hurt you,” he said. “I like the world better with you in it.”

  His declaration rang in the silence between them. Her eyes were big.

  “What?” he demanded. “Why the scared look? What’s so terrible about that?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure I want a genetically amped up cyborg dude who can drive cars with his mind to be so interested in me.”

  “I’m not dangerous, Dani.”