No Accounting for Love [Club Libertine 3] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic)

by Diane Leyne

  She made her decision. She’d enjoy the morning and go to their two appointments. And then she’d find a reason to excuse herself and head out to the airport and catch a flight home today. She’d tell Mac he’d chosen the wrong woman for the job, and if he fired her, so be it. Even though he’d promised that turning the job down wouldn’t impact her career with Whelan, would he really want her around after she dumped his friend?

  But if that was the price, so be it. She was scared of getting in any deeper. She knew that as hard as her divorce had been, she didn’t care a fraction as much about her ex as she did about Duncan, and her feelings for him would only grow, so she had to cut and run now, while she still had the courage.

  Satisfied with her decision, she snuggled into his arms and fell asleep.

  * * * *

  Duncan could tell she was troubled by something but felt helpless. They hadn’t known each other that long. He didn’t want to press her too hard. But tomorrow, after their two appointments were out of the way and she was back here with him, he’d make her tell him. He’d call Mac and tell him they were staying a few extra days, and he’d take the time to pry it out of her. Or beat it out of her. He grinned to himself as his palm itched. He’d enjoy spanking her. He was a Dom. He had skills she couldn’t even imagine, and he’d use every trick at his disposal to make her open up to him.

  If she truly didn’t love him or think she could come to love him, he’d accept it and let her go. But he’d seen the look in her eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking. She didn’t just want him, but she had feelings for him. He knew it. His own feelings were so powerful. Surely they didn’t exist in a vacuum. They were stoked by her responses to him. He’d never had such a quick visceral reaction to a woman. It was almost beyond love. He felt her on an almost cellular level. He’d always believed in love at first sight. His father had proposed to his mother forty-eight hours after they met and they were still together almost forty years later.

  He was meant to be with Andie and he was determined to get her to give him a chance to make her happy. Even if it meant living vanilla.

  Satisfied with his decision, he hugged her tight, and soon, he, too, was asleep.

  Chapter Eleven

  Light was streaming into the room, waking Andie up. She could see that Duncan was already up and dressed and cheerful-looking. How could he look so energetic after the night they’d had? She knew he’d woken her up at least twice more to make love to her. There might have been a third time, but she’d fallen asleep in the middle of it, exhausted, even as she felt her body respond, the moisture leaking from her pussy at his touch.

  “You have twenty minutes to shower and get dressed. I’ll make breakfast.” He paused in the doorway. “Don’t take this as an indication you’ll ever be allowed to shower alone again. But we have a busy morning, and if I see you naked, I’ll have to fuck you again and we’ll be late. So get yourself ready, and if all goes well, we’ll be back here and naked by noon.”

  He was in such an upbeat mood. It made hers so much bleaker. But she’d have to paste a smile on her face and make nice. And then after lunch, she’d find an excuse to get away from him, promise to meet him back at the house. And then she’d head to the airport.

  She looked at what she’d brought. She’d have to leave most of it behind. She packed her asthma inhaler in her purse. She wondered if she should leave a note and then decided that she owed him that much. She would leave it in the living room just before they left. Now time for a quick shower and to figure out what she wanted to say.

  * * * *

  When she went downstairs twenty minutes later, she was terrified that he’d realize how hard her heart was beating and know she was up to something. He greeted her with a kiss, and she kissed him back, lingeringly, thinking that it might be the last time she ever kissed him. He was so jaunty. So she smiled and made small talk and just drank in his image, knowing that the next time they met, if there was a next time, he’d hate her.

  She deliberately left her purse behind when their cab came. She left him standing there as she ran back inside. She grabbed her purse off the call table, placing the note in the bowl where they put their keys. Hesitating, she thought about putting the training collar in the bowl, too, but, touching her neck, she found she couldn’t do it. And not just because he might notice that she’d stopped wearing it. It was her only tangible link to Duncan, and she couldn’t part with it. Not yet.

  The morning seemed to crawl by. The two meetings were better than yesterday, but not by much. There was one mild possibility, but she didn’t hold out much hope. In fact, she was beginning to think that expanding into LA would be a mistake.

  They stopped for lunch after the second meeting. They were only a few miles from where they were staying. Very casually, she mentioned needing to pick something up at a store Lindy had recommended, a surprise, she said, and she convinced him to head back to the house and that she’d follow shortly by cab. He’d wanted to stick around, but she convinced him that he’d spoil her surprise. She waved to him in the cab and managed to keep the tears from falling until he was out of sight. Then she asked the restaurant manager to call her a cab for the airport, but not the main one. It would cost a fortune, but she was headed to the smaller airport out in Orange County. The last thing she wanted was to run into Duncan waiting to board the same plane.

  She didn’t start crying again until she got home. And then it felt like she’d never be able to stop.

  * * * *

  Duncan found himself humming as he exited the cab and walked to the front door of the home they were staying in. He was enjoying living with Andie, even if it was only for a few days. When they got back to Seattle, he’d start trying to convince her to move in with him.

  He only paused for a second when he went to drop the keys in the bowl and saw the note. He smiled. His darling Andie had left him a love note. He unfolded it and started to read. It was like he’d been kicked in the stomach.

  Dear Duncan,

  I’m sorry. You are the most amazing man I have ever met, and I love how you make me feel, but I can’t let this go any further. I thought I could have a casual relationship, but I can’t. I need more. Better to end things now before they get serious and one of us gets hurt.

  A

  Duncan let the paper slip from his suddenly nerveless fingers and he watched as it fluttered slowly to the ground. It was like time was moving slowly. He almost felt outside himself. What the hell did she mean, “casual relationship”? And “end things now before they get serious”? She’d find out just how serious things were when he put her over his knee and made sure she couldn’t sit for a week.

  Not serious? Damn it! He knew he shouldn’t have let her go off on her own. The minute he left her alone, her old insecurities came roaring back. If her father weren’t already dead, he’d find him and punch him senseless for how he’d treated his daughter. But the ex was still around somewhere. It would be very satisfying to track him down and beat the shit out of him.

  But first things first. He was going to track Andie down and fuck some sense into her.

  Chapter Twelve

  The flight was late, and it was after midnight when Andie’s airport taxi finally pulled up in front of her apartment. She walked slowly up the front stairs and let herself in. A quick elevator ride later and she was standing in front of her door. She was so tired that she didn’t even notice anyone approaching until the hand reached out and took the key from her hand.

  She started, her heart jumping in fear.

  She turned to run when a large, familiar hand clamped down on her arm.

  “You are not going anywhere until we talk.”

  It was Duncan, and he looked just as wiped out as she did. His eyes were red. His hair stuck up in clumps. It had only been twelve hours, but it felt like forever since she’d seen him.

  “What are you doing here?”

  He opened the door and ushered her through, throwing a small gym bag on the floor a
nd locking the door behind them. He looked pale, his mouth set in a grim line, his eyes determined.

  “I’ve come to claim what’s mine. You promised to be my sub for two days, and then you ran away. You may not want a relationship with me, but I’m not leaving until I get what you’ve promised me. I deserve that.” He was pacing now.

  “Actually, I deserve more than that. I deserve an explanation. Why did you run away? And yes I saw that stupid, stupid note you left. What the hell do you mean you don’t want a casual relationship? Does that mean you think I want one?

  “Damn it, Andie. I put my training collar around you neck.”

  “It was just for pretend, so I could pass as your sub. It was temporary. It didn’t mean anything to you.”

  “You are an idiot. Don’t you understand what this means to a Dom? Didn’t Lindy explain what a Dom’s collar meant? If it was casual, I’d just have given you a generic collar, not my collar.” She tried to answer, but he shouted over her. “No, I left it on you, hoping you would continue to wear it. When you did, do you know how I felt? How excited and proud? And you didn’t just wear it on the trip. You wore it to our meetings with men you knew were Doms. You proclaimed to them that you were mine. Do you know how that made me feel? How proud that you wanted to show the world that you belonged to me? And when you said you had a surprise you wanted to get for me, I imagined all sorts of things. I was so happy in the car ride. I thought it might be sexy lingerie. Or maybe a set of butt plugs to show me you trust me enough to let me take your ass. Or maybe it was nipple clamps. Those are so sexy. Or maybe a special crop, or I don’t know. Just something for me. I’d been the one chasing you since I met you. And I thought I’d finally won you over and you were going to show me what you felt for me, and then I saw your note and it was like getting a punch in the gut.”

  He sat down abruptly on the couch, his head in his hands, his voice muffled. “I thought maybe you might even love me. I know it’s too soon, but dammit, I believe in love at first sight and I knew from the moment I set eyes on you that you were the one for me and I thought you were going to tell me you felt that way, too.

  “I was so happy. I was going to suggest we trying living together. Maybe even a permanent collaring ceremony in front of the whole club.” He looked up, and she could see the tears in his eyes, overflowing, running down his face.

  “I don’t know. Maybe I was blinded by my own feelings and didn’t show you just how much you meant to me but I thought you knew, we had something special. I was…I thought…well, I guess I was wrong. I shouldn’t have come here.” Duncan stood up. “I should leave. But I wanted, I guess I wanted to see you one more time. Maybe I wanted to make you change your mind. But that isn’t what a Dom does. He doesn’t force his sub to be with him. She has to want him as much as he wants her. Submission only means something if it is given freely.” He looked at her, waiting for some kind of response from her, but she just stared at him, the tears flowing freely down her face.

  He reached out a hand to brush them away.

  “I’m sorry. Have a good life.” He turned and walked toward the door.

  Until that point, Andie hadn’t moved. Hadn’t said a word. She just stood there, watching him, crying as she realized just how much she had hurt him. And for him to be hurting like this, he must really have cared for her. She was an idiot.

  Maybe it wasn’t too late.

  “Master?” she asked tentatively. “Master Duncan?”

  He turned, obviously confused.

  Slowly she sank to her knees. She looked down, not only to show her submission, but because she couldn’t bear to look in his eyes, to see his expression if he didn’t forgive her.

  “Firstly, I want to say that I never meant to hurt you. I had convinced myself that it was all about sex. That you enjoyed teaching me about submission but that was it. At first, I thought that was enough. You awakened feelings in me I never knew I had. But at first, I though it was because of the BDSM. I thought maybe it was the whole Dom/sub thing that appealed to me. It was hot. But especially after meeting ‘Master Frederick,’ I could never just submit to any Dom. Not even Jake, if he were free. It was you that I wanted, that I cared about.

  “I was turned on when you whispered those things in my ear at the club because I was imagining you doing them to me. I wanted to submit to you and have you do all of those carnal things to me.”

  She snuck a look up at Duncan and saw that he was watching her intently. His expression was grim, but at least he didn’t look like he was getting ready to leave again and that gave her the courage to go on.

  “And then I got scared. Scared of my feelings. I didn’t believe you could have feelings for me. I knew you desired me. I knew you liked teaching me about submission. But I saw the way the uncollared subs looked at you. Hell, I saw the way the waitress at the restaurant looked at you. You could have your pick of women. Why would you want a sexual failure? Sure you were able to make me come, but maybe you’d get tired of having to work so hard. My husband made it clear what my limitations were. But with you, I felt sexy and desirable and fulfilled.

  “But then I realized it wouldn’t last. It was only a matter of time before you decided that you’d spent enough time teaching me and wanted to move on to someone who knew what they were doing, or someone sexier or just someone, anyone but me. And then we’d still have to work together or maybe I’d have to quit because I couldn’t stand working with you and seeing you with someone else.” She snuck a quick look back up at Duncan’s enigmatic expression and then looked down again, staring hard at the floor, her voice wavering, but determined to finish.

  “Or maybe you’d care for me and I wouldn’t be able to give you what you needed and then I’d hurt you, so I did what I thought I had to do. I left you before you left me.”

  The silence was deafening as she waited for him to reply. She wanted to look up, to look into his eyes and see his expression, but she wanted to show him that she could submit, so she maintained her submissive pose, waiting.

  Time seemed to stand still. The only sound in the room was of their breathing. And then she heard his footsteps as he walked back over to her. He stood over her. She could feel him looming.

  “Look up.”

  She hesitated.

  “Don’t make me repeat myself. Look up, sub.”

  She raised her eyes to gaze at him. The expression on his face frightened her a bit. The intensity in his eyes as he stared down at her made butterflies do acrobatics in her stomach, but she had a bit of hope. He was still here. He hadn’t left yet.

  She lowered her gaze again, stopping at the erection tenting his pants. He still wanted her. She looked up, questioningly.

  “That’s it?” he asked. “Those are the reasons you left me? All of them?”

  Hesitantly, she nodded.

  “Did it ever occur to you to ask me what I thought rather than imagining a hundred and one unbelievably stupid reasons why this relationship was doomed to fail? Sure, not all relationships work out, but a lot succeed, too. My parents have been together for almost forty years. I want what they have. Sure it’s a risk. We haven’t known each other long, but I know we both feel how special it is between us. So listen good.

  “You are never, ever going to put me through that again, even if it means I have to keep you locked up and naked all the time so you can’t run away. Do you understand me, sub?”

  She nodded, hesitantly.

  “And I’m going to make sure tonight is a night you are never going to forget. As you’ve noticed, I’m about to burst through my pants. First, you are going to suck me off. And you are going to do it without using your hands.

  “Then I’m going to redden your ass so that you don’t sit down for a week. And then I’m going to fuck your brains out. Do you understand?” As he spoke, he was unfastening his pants and thrusting them down his hips along with his underwear.

  His cock sprang free, looking swollen and red and angry. She thought it looked beautiful.<
br />
  Andie looked up at him with hope in her eyes. She eagerly reached for his cock, but he batted her hands away.

  “You really have to learn to listen, subbie.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  He reached into the gym bag he’d brought with him. Belatedly, Andie realized that this wasn’t the bag he’d taken to LA. This bag had the Club Libertine logo. It seemed to be what Lindy had called a toy bag.

  She watched half-excited, half-scared to see what he was pulling out. It was a pair of padded wrist cuffs that closed with Velcro. They were leather and quite comfortable when he wound them around her wrists, making sure they weren’t too tight. He moved behind her, starting to fasten them together when he paused. Then he reached down and pulled her top over her head and then unfastened her bra and removed that, too. Only then did he fasten her wrists together.

  Duncan moved back in front of her. He looked to Andie as if he was enjoying the sight of her kneeling there, naked from the waist up. From the look in his eyes, it wouldn’t be long until he had her completely naked. Andie could feel the arousal growing in the pit of her stomach at the thought of being naked for him. She looked at Duncan and then at the clear evidence of his arousal.

  Andie could see the glistening drop of pre-cum on the tip of his cock as Duncan stood in front of her and fisted it. Her mouth opened involuntarily, but she didn’t move.

  “Good subbie. Now suck it.”

  She waited as he guided his cock past her lips, stretching them. Then before she could do more than take a first tentative suck, he entwined his hands in her hair.

  “Sorry, subbie. I need you too bad. Just relax your throat and take it.” And with that, he held her head still and started moving in and out of her mouth quickly, fucking it hard and fast, pushing further and further into her throat. Desperately, she forced herself to relax her throat muscles. He was in no mood to take it easy on her, and she wasn’t going to let him down.